"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
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Last Update: August 15, 2011
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How much would it cost to rent a two bedroom apartment in Los Angelos? (link)
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It's likely to be fairly expensive. We're talking a couple of thousand dollars per month, probably, for a place you'll actually want to live in (ie: not a filthy dump).
The average rent for a 1 bedroom Los Angeles apartment costs $1,757. The average 2 bedroom Los Angeles apartment is about $2,506. The average apartment rental fee for a 3 bedroom apartment is close to about $3,896.
Again, we're talking about "average" here. That's the places that are fairly so-so quality, and even some of those will be priced higher, of course.
So, you're looking at dishing out about $2,500 per month for the average 2-bedroom apartment.
The overall cost of living in Los Angeles, California is 33% above the national average. Unfortunately, the housing costs tend to be among the most expensive in the nation. When you take into account that about 12.5% of the labor force of Los Angeles is currently unemployed and actively seeking a job then you may want to reconsider an immediate move there in the near future (at least until the job market is back on it's feet so you actually have a chance to earn money).
Since costs are much higher than other areas of the nation, even groceries will cost you quite a bit. You also need to think about transportation (gas, vehicle, insurance coverage), clothing, luxuries (video games, books, movie prices, dates, activities and entertainment), bills (electricity, heating/cooling, water, garbage, telephone/internet, etc.), laundry services (dry cleaning bills, laundromat costs), educational expenses (college), and other necessities.
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How do you get bigger buttocks? (link)
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The best thing you can do--and all of these bigger butt workout are fairly the same--is to do the right kind of toning exercises.
This is backward leg-kicks. This is stair-climbs. This is even running and jogging.
Invest in some workout DVDs if you can't get an idea of how to work out your lower body. You want to build muscle of your butt is just going to be saggy and flabby. Muscle gives it that round definition. You aren't going to get that through pills, eating excessive amounts of calories, or sitting on it all day.
Join a gym. Do what feels like it's working on your lower body. Run on the treadmills and do lots of squats. Focus on your lower half and what builds those muscles. Eat right to fuel the growing tissues.
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I have a bunch of old newspapers in a box I've kept. At first I had them because I had a bird and I lined his cage with the old newspaper. He passed away two months ago and I don't really want to just toss out the papers. What can I do with the old newspapers? I mean, are they of any use or should I just chuck them out the door and into the garbage can? I'd just like to reuse them for something... (link)
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I've read that you can clean your windows very well with old newspaper and vinegar/water solution.
Mix a 50/50 vinegar/water solution up in a bowl.
Dip the newspaper into the solution.
Clean windows with this.
I haven't ever done it myself but I read that it gets the windows really clean and clear. It's worth a shot to try it out.
Also remember you can RECYCLE the newspapers since they are paper products! :)
They also say old newspaper can help absorb stinky odors in shoeboxes, closets, containers, luggage, etc. Just wad up a few pieces and put them wherever the odor is. Some people also put it in the bottom of their trash bags and bins to help absorb odors and spills.
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Hii guys..what do you guys think of abortion? is it good or is it bad? please let me know what you guys think. thanks (link)
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I think it's pretty horrific.
First you have the "rights" of the woman because it's her body. Unfortunately, it took TWO bodies to make that one life growing inside of her. I think it's completely wrong to say only the woman should be able to "make the choice" in regards to abortion. It isn't just her baby.
Then, you completely disregard the life that is growing within the womb. Sure, it might not yet be fully-formed or be able to function in society. It doesn't mean it isn't life though. A life is a life and you can't deny that the growing baby isn't living.
I don't know if you've ever seen the videos to Silent Scream but it's pretty scary what they do to the baby. I mean, seriously, it touched the doctor who was performing abortions so much that he stopped doing them. It's live footage of a fetus actually trying to get away from the abortion procedure and the poor baby even "screams" out before...well...we know what abortion does. If you want to know about abortion, see the videos, and actually understand what it is, check this out, and watch the videos:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutmetopic.php?t=1043&userboard_id=48957
Now, you tell me, do you think that's okay? You think an innocent life-form that has yet to even see the sun shine deserves to be ripped apart? If anyone can watch the Silent Scream videos and NOT cry then I seriously believe they have no soul.
The idea that abortion is safe is also complete made-up, as you can see from the above link. There are plenty, and I mean PLENTY, of women who have died because of the abortion procedure.
And, to be quite honest, there are so many infertile couples who would die to be able to adopt an infant. Infants are the first to become adopted. Heck, if you play it out right you can find a kind, loving couple to adopt a baby before it's even born. I'd love to adopt an unwanted baby, and always try to make it known to people who come here seeking abortion information that I will take them up on the offer of adopting their infant if they will just go through with the pregnancy. Yeah, I'd sign whatever agreement forms and everything. There's absolutely no excuse to say nobody would want your baby.
In addition, a lot of doctors push for abortion when it's not needed. My mother was practically harassed by doctors to abort my brother because test results came back that he was going to be abnormal. Whoop dee doo. Do you know what was abnormal about him? The muscles in the back of his mouth were weak and he drooled for the first couple of years of his life until he could do the strengthening exercises! Think a little weakened muscle means a life deserves death? Heck no.
My mother isn't all though. I've heard multiple other women who were pressured to abort when they ended up giving birth to completely healthy infants!
I won't ramble on forever. I already sent you the link of the material I have on abortion. If that doesn't convince you that abortion is bad then nothing is going to open your eyes to the evil of it.
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i want to add music to my year book profile what do i need to do? (link)
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MyYearbook.com used to allow playlists directly from their site like MySpace does, but it didn't work out, I guess, because they recently updated it so that you have to use a playlist from another website and copy it into your profile information.
Anyway, step-by-step:
Go to a site like playlist.com and make a basic playlist with your favorite songs on it. It's pretty straight-forward.
When you're finished, click the "share my playlist" link and copy the code given at the bottom of the page.
Paste the code to your "Whatever I Want" section of MyYearbook and your new playlist should show!
Oh, and make sure when you're selecting the preferences on your playlist, you have it on autoplay so it starts up right away when a person clicks on your MyYearbook profile.
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Alternatively, after you create the playlist you prefer you can select the "Get Code" link from the site and look for the little icon of MyYearbook.com. You'd then have to type in your info for MyYearbook and then click "post" (NOT "post as a bulletin"). From there it should automatically show up in your "Whatever I Want" box of your profile page. No copy/paste required then.
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So my boyfriend is planning a double date with me and his friend for this tuesday. I hate double dates cause they're just so awkward and I don't know his friend or the other person. Ugh i just don't want to go. How do i get out of it? And why is he planning such a thing? It just makes me uncomfortable. And I'm not going to talk about it with him because he's just gonna make me go anyway cause it's his friend. help....I hope I'm busy. (link)
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If you don't want to talk with him about it then say goodbye to your relationship. Communication is absolutely the key to making relationships actually work. If you can't even talk to him about disliking double-dating then how can you expect to have the ability to talk to him about serious matters that will eventually come up in the relationship?
Double-dating is important in the dating world. You get to meet the partner's friend and the partner's friend's girlfriend, who you might end up having something in common with. Your boyfriend gets to introduce you to one of his best friend's in what should be the most comfortable setting. You get to chat with a girl and the boys can chat together so it should add to the comfort factor.
I understand not liking "group" dates or something though. I know the level of intimacy is lowered slightly and the prospect of meeting new people can be overwhelming for some people. You have to think of it this way:
You really should meet your boyfriend friend(s).
If you have the opportunity to not have to have a full-on discussion or awkward silences with the friend (ie: you get to talk to a girl to break some of the uncomfortable strange-boy/strange-girl barrier) why not take it? There's no "third-wheel" feeling either.
You can meet the friend. Chat with a female who probably knows how you're feeling and may share some of your interests, and all is well and good. Your boyfriend can talk with his friend with you around then without feeling like you're not included in the fun. It's suppose to be a more comfortable way of meeting "the friends." ;)
If you're not willing to talk to him about it then there's not much you can do that will not damage the relationship. If you purposely make yourself "busy" or fake-sick that day then you can't even say you were completely honest in the relationship. your boyfriend may find out and become incredibly hurt, and you'll risk having to meet his friend in a situation which may end up being even more uncomfortable for you.
You could end up having a wonderful time.
If you talked to your boyfriend about being nervous and uncomfortable first he may be able to make things a little lighter during the meeting. You two could discuss altering the plans just a little so that the situations were more comfortable and reassuring instead of cold and awkward for you.
Personally, I'd give it a shot. I wouldn't say that if you didn't go you were a "bad" girlfriend but I'd say that you didn't care as much about you relationship than you should be at this time. Think of it this way: it's one evening. Just one. You don't have to keep doing it over and over if you go through with it and decide that it was TOO uncomfortable. If you opened the lines of communication with your boyfriend then you'd even be able to tell him exactly what about the encounter that made you uneasy so that the next time you four possibly got together it would be better.
There's no need to be afraid or uncomfortable over meeting these new people. It's one of the most comfortable situations ever because you'll have your partner by your side that you can provide extra comfort and security.
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im 21 years old...and heres my story , sorry if its short but i really need advice ,ok so i have a boyfriend who ive been in an on and off relationship for the past months, there was one time where we broke up for good like the other times we used to say we were broken up but kept comunicating and eventually got back...we were back now for good and things where better than ever, but i noticed there was a girl who has been trying to contact him like calling nonstop and texting alooot and he never replies to her messages he didnt wanted to tell me the complete story and kept giving excuses, today he had finally told me the truth, he told me during that time we were really broken up which was like 2 weeks... which is the only time i really felt we weren't gonna get back together, he told me he hooked up with this girl and they kissed , and thats why she's been trying to contact him cause she never felt like that with anyone or whatever, i dont blame her cause she didnt knew i existed , my point is..should i still be upset about this? it did hurted ALOT cause even during that time i was thinking we were gonna get back together and we kept speaking during that time but not like suggesting getting back just casual speaking, so i really dont know what to do now, please i need an advice i really gave my heart to him and eventho he tries to justify it by saying we were broken up, i still feel he cheated , cause we talked about this girl and he said nothing happened, and he told me he hasnt hooked up with anyone ever since we started dating which was february, (link)
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He didn't cheat.
I know you may feel betrayed, but, honestly, the guy didn't do anything that was truly bad. You have no reason to feel like he cheated because, honestly, you two had made it clear that you weren't an item any longer.
You two were broken up. You acknowledged the break up. He acknowledged the break up. Even if -you- -felt- like you two were going to get back together, things just weren't final yet. Nobody had kissed and made-up yet at that point.
It's like this:
You FEEL like today should sunny and beautiful with a light breeze and birds chirping but when you step outside it's rainy and dreary.
While you can be disappointed that what you THOUGHT should happen hasn't, you can't really get mad over the situation. You had no agreement with the weather so you can't get angry.
The guy may be as faithful as they come, but when you break up then you're broken up. He has no obligation to remain "yours" when you two have called it quits--even if you called it quits 2 days before the incident. Break-ups are suppose to be permanent things. They aren't suppose to be thrown around lightly and done when you get a little angry over meaningless tidbits of life.
You can't get mad for a guy going out with another girl after you two have broken up. Toying with a relationship where you break up, knowingly going to get back together again, is just asking to be hurt. It's asking for more drama.
If you start realizing that break-ups are a final end to a relationship then maybe things would go a little smoother. Right now you're in a limbo. What is the guy suppose to think? He says, "Break ups are final...but she never seems to let them be final...but it's what break-ups are suppose to be..." Confusing!
A break-up is like the dating form of a divorce. You have realized you two are not compatible and there is no saving the relationship so you end things just as a married couple decides that the marriage isn't right for them. If a couple got married and divorced each other 4 times in 1 year everyone would look at them like they were crazy. Dating isn't marriage though so a break-up once or twice in the duration of the relationship is fairly acceptable.
So, while you may have decided you wanted to wait around to see if you two could get back together, he may have understood the relationship to be finally over and had tried to move on so he didn't dwell on the past. You can't really blame him. It's what people do. Some people will dwell and mope and be sad about the loss while other people cope by moving on, moving forward, and trying to keep their minds off of the situation.
When you were really hurt and emotional, haven't you done something you later regretted? It could even be something like this. He could have thought the relationship was probably over, was a bit emotionally hurt, and ended up doing something stupid. We all have times where we say or do something stupid when we're hurt.
Talking, unfortunately, is just talking. If you want to get back together then stop beating around the bush. Having a few phone calls and conversations isn't anything firm so you can't expect the guy to be a mind-reader and think that things are going well when you haven't SAID, "Hey, I think the break-up was a mistake and I'd like to mend this." No matter how much you feel he knows you, he isn't a mind-reader.
"Casually speaking" is just friendly. It doesn't mean you will get back together after a break-up. If you want your feelings to be clear and understood then you have to say them and take the risk of him saying, "I don't want to get back together."
It can really hurt when you find out your ex moved on really quick after the break-up. It doesn't mean they're cheaters at all though. It doesn't mean they've betrayed their ex-partner. It just means they're coping differently and understand "break-up" to mean what it was intended to be--a "end" to a relationship. It can hurt and feel like they didn't care, but it doesn't mean they've done anything bad.
You need to sit down and talk with him about the lying part of the situation where he said he hadn't done anything with the girl. That is the problem here. The problem isn't that he actually kissed her (or anything else that may have happened). The problem is that he wasn't honest and upfront when you asked him about her.
Talk with him. Figure out why he didn't tell you the truth right away. It could have been an innocent thing where he thought kissing "didn't count" as anything. It could be something like he was afraid it would hurt you. It could be that he was just lying to you for kicks. The only person who really knows is him, and once you figure it out you two can work on breaking those barrier so that the next time something like this might happen he can be honest and upfront right away when asked.
Talk about break-ups with your guy and what they should be versus what you two have been using them as. If you need space, then take some space, but if you're going to remain each-others then a break-up is entirely the wrong term to be throwing around.
Explain that you were hurt because you thought you two were getting back together, but that it was your own fault because you hadn't made those feelings very clear with him when you two had been talking.
Communication is absolutely the key to making any relationship work out. If you play guessing games then that's all the relationship will ever be. You have to say, "I am hurt because of x, y, and z," so your partner has a chance to say, "I didn't mean to hurt you but a, b, and c."
Lastly, your boyfriend needs to talk to the girl who has been hanging onto what she thinks will become more. Just like you, she thinks that them talking is something more than just a friendship. It hurts, doesn't it? He needs to call her and say something nice but firm, like, "Hey, I know you've really been wanting to talk but I've gotten back together with my girlfriend and I really don't think it's appropriate for us to be friends. It's just too uncomfortable for me and my girlfriend. I'm sorry if you felt there was more connection between us than there was, but I didn't purposely make you feel that way. I'd appreciate it if you stopped calling so frequently because it's worrying my girlfriend and it's making me uncomfortable too. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner but I wasn't really sure what to say exactly." He may have not said anything to her because he's embarrassed over the entire situation or is afraid she'll do something emotionally uncomfortable (crying, screaming, etc) and make him feel terrible for being honest about his feelings toward her. You need to encourage him to confront the situation with clear, direct information.
So, forgive and forget this sort of thing. He didn't cheat. He didn't betray you. Your feelings are what has gotten in the way. A break-up needs to be CLEAR and FIRM when it happens. If you intend to remain faithful to each-other then use a different (DEFINED) term with each-other. Talk all of this over.
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Okay, so I had sex last night with my boyfriend, and we didn't use any kind of protection. I'm usually on the pill, but missed a couple at the beginning of the month so I decided to take a break from it and start taking it when the next package starts, so that I won't get too off track. My question is, could it be very likely that I would get pregnant? I'm supposed to start my period in two days, which means I had sex after my ovulation days. And if I am pregnant, would I still miss my next period? I feel like two days would be too soon to tell and I'd start my period anyway. But I am completely confused. (link)
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Unfortunately, not every woman ovulates on "day 14" or mid-way through their cycle. There is actually a fairly decent chance that you ovulate late in your cycle. I, personally, actually ovulate late in my cycle so the odds of me getting pregnant right before my period is due is MUCH greater than me getting pregnant at any other time in my cycle. How do you find out when you typically ovulate? 6 months of over-the-counter home ovulation tests taken every single day with your first morning urine. Be ready to dish out some cash.
So, personally, I have about a 26 day cycle, but ovulate on my day 20.
There are women who actually ovulate while on their periods, right after having a period, or right before they begin a period. Some women will have fluctuating ovulation dates (some months they won't ovulate while other months they may ovulate multiple times; some months they ovulate early while other months they ovulate mid-way; etc.).
The mid-way through the cycle thing is "average" but average doesn't mean always or for every single woman.
There are also many variations in cycles. Stress and hormonal imbalances are huge factors. For example:
This past month I was SO stressed out over the possibility of a new job that I had my period on my day 20 of my cycle. Now, if I actually ovulated as usual (on my day 20) then I actually ovulated on the same day I began my period! I, of course, cannot be for-sure though so I didn't take the ovulation tests last month since I hadn't expected any major changes until much later on in the month.
If you became pregnant from this encounter then you'd probably still have your period this month since it's so close.
Remember, sperm can survive in the vaginal and uterus area for days. Some have been found alive after 1 full week from ejaculation. It only takes ONE of those to get you pregnant. So, while you may not be pregnant now, tomorrow, or even 3 days later, it doesn't mean you won't become pregnant from this particular encounter. See what I'm saying?
Any way, after fertilization occurs it takes about another week for the egg to attach to the uterine wall, and yet another week after the attachment for it to produce enough hCG (pregnancy hormone) to be detected on a home pregnancy test. So, you're looking at a couple of weeks at the very earliest before your body would even begin making changes to adjust to the pregnancy.
Unprotected sex means you're risking the chances of getting pregnant. Any time you have sex without any form of protection then you are taking a great risk.
If you don't want to get pregnant then you need, absolutely NEED, to use protection. Any protection you can get your hands on is better than none at all. Condoms, spermicidal foams and lubricants, and things like the sponge are extremely affordable, make wonderful back-up methods, are convenient for quick usage, and can be found all over the place (including gas stations).
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Do you have to be 18 to buy condoms? (link)
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No, there is no age restriction to purchasing condoms in the United States.
Even under-age individuals are not denied the purchase of these over-the-counter contraceptive methods. It's like going to the pharmacy and buying vitamins, in some respect. Even if the package says the vitamins are for elderly, frail men a 20-something woman can purchase them.
So, just because you're not SUPPOSE to be having sex doesn't mean you can't protect yourself from the bad consequences of the behavior.
It's like denying a 14 year old girl who thinks she may be pregnant from purchasing an over-the-counter pregnancy test. It would be silly to regulate such things.
If you denied a 14 year old from purchasing condoms and other safe contraceptive methods available over-the-counter then it would not encourage better behavior by the individual, but, rather, riskier behavior.
You can purchase condoms at any age. Buy as many condoms as you want. The cashier shouldn't deny you or refuse to sell them to you.
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Can giving a handjob give any STD's/infections of any sort? For instance, if the male's genitals are infected, can the female contract it simply by touching? (link)
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Among the risks, herpes (HSV-1 or HSV-2) and genital warts (HPV) are probably the most likely. I know HPV can live under the fingernails and herpes is so easily spread that many people with coldsores even end up having sores on their fingertips at some point. You touch so many things during the day you have no idea what's on your hands or deep in your nails that you cannot reach to wash away.
(For further note: Yes, guys get HPV too and can spread it to females. Guys typically do not show signs of having HPV, only the strain that causes warts MIGHT cause them to have warts on their penis; however, many men with HPV have no idea they have it and there is yet to be a test to see if a guy has contracted it so there is no way to tell.)
In short, yes, you can definitely contract STDs and STIs through this activity. When it comes to sexual encounters, you are always putting yourself at risk in some way if you think of it. You always should weigh the consequences of possible actions before jumping into things to further prepare yourself in case disaster arises.
All it takes is one strain of HPV or one of the two major strains of herpes to get deep enough under the fingernail to survive for awhile outside of the body. If either disease finds it's way to a break in the skin (crack, cut, wound, etc.) then you'll have caught something from giving a handjob. Kind of not as "safe" as other people make it out to be, hmm?
I wish you well and I hope I've helped clear some things up for you. If you have any further questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me :)
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I need some more English dubbed anime to view on youtube!! If you have any that really blew you away, could you let me in on the secret? :) (link)
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Midori no Hibi
Romance meets strange humor/comedy meets a tad bit of action.
Totally. All episodes are available on YouTube. It may also be under "Midori Days" but, as I recall, the full episodes were under the original name.
If you subscribe to NetFlix you can get the special features and whatnot. You can also get instant streaming of some anime or have them mailed to your house on disk.
There is also HuLu.com if you haven't went through their anime listing. I don't watch a lot of anime but Hulu seems to have some pretty popular ones.
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Well for some reason my skype is not working. i try to sign in but it says that it couldnt connect. then it told me to leave it for a couple of minutes so that it could reconnect. but i restarted my computer and it is still not workin. and its not just me. my boyfriends skypes isnt workin either and it wont connect. Please help!! Skype is the only way i can talk to my bf cause its long distance. thank you so much!! any advice would help me out lots! (link)
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It was said that Skype had a band of hackers attack it earlier today and that they're still, after many hours, trying to get all of the Skype accounts back up and running from the chaos that was done. One news report said that the issue came from a problem with connecting to the computers using something Skype refers to as "supernodes." They announced that their engineers are working to create new "mega-supernodes" quickly, but it could take many hours to get all Skype accounts back up and online.
There are other messenging services you can use in the meantime while Skype is down. You don't have to make the full switch to something else, but use it just as a back-up. There are things like:
MSN Messenger
Yahoo! Messenger
AIM (AOL Instant Messenger)
ICQ
And other sites (Facebook, Myspace) allow instant messaging between "friends". Even Google (GMail) allows for instant chats.
You don't even have to download these programs if you don't want to. Places like ILoveIM.com will let you sign in after you create an account (at the providers website) so that you can chat within minutes without adding more crap to your computer(s).
So, email your guy and see what he might prefer to switch to for a couple of days while Skype gets sorted out. You might have to go without voice chats and webcam video but being able to communicate quickly is the main point of the whole thing so if you can't see his face or hear his voice for a day or two then no big deal as long as you do get to see how he's doing. :)
In email you can remind him that he doesn't have to download the programs either, in case that's why he'd prefer not to do switch communication ways with you. Accounts are free and easy to make on most messaging programs. And it's always handy to have a back-up plan for when Skype (or whatever) fails.
Edited to add:
There are other internet calling alternatives to Skype, apparently. The link below lists the top 5:
http://thenextweb.com/apps/2010/12/22/6-great-skype-alternatives/
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i have did 7 ovalation calenders and they all gave me the same answer . i did it the first time i had my son and it worked my period came on the 18 and of this month and the ovalation calender said that i ovalate on the 25-28 of thix mnth . Can this be true ? (link)
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It could be true, but, to be quite honest, ovulation calendars are just guesses. They just tell you what the "middle" day of your cycle will be because most women ovulate during the middle of their cycle.
Ovulation calendars don't know about your hormonal balances, reproductive health, or daily stress levels. They can't account for daily life. They are just guesses.
So, while it could very well be accurate this month, next month the calendar could be way off.
If you're trying to become pregnant then it wouldn't hurt to try between the 25th and 28th but don't get your hopes up that the calendars are 100% true.
You can easily figure out when you're going to ovulate by how many days you have between cycles. If you have a 28 day cycle then you will ovulate on day 14 of your cycle. From the first day of your period just count out "1, 2, 3..." until you get to 14 and see what date the calendar has for that. The average, healthy woman ovulates mid-cycle so that would be your PREDICTED ovulation date.
Nothing is guaranteed though. Predictions are just guesses. They can't account for everything.
The possibility of you actually ovulating during that time is pretty good if you're in a good, healthy condition. If you could dish out the money, ovulation tests (that you take once a day for every day of the month) would give you an accurate reading on when you usually ovulate. It takes a full 6 months of taking those ovulation tests to get a GOOD idea of when you usually ovulate though so be prepared to spend some dough.
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Hi my name is Sabine and I’m 28 years old. I have a question I try to get pregnant from my boyfriend but is not working, we was both by at least 4 different Dr, and all day the same thing “you guys are ok keep trying”. So I when and got the “ovulation text” so I did it every day the last 2 months. So my question is ; is that possibly that I do NOT have the ovulation time????????? (link)
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There are lots of women who have their periods and do not ovulate, actually. It's so common to not ovulate that it's estimated that every woman experiences an anovulatory (no release of egg) at least once a year. Anovulation can be caused by a wide variety of things, including:
Ovarian cysts
Uterine fibroids
Blockages within fallopian tube(s)
Hormonal imbalances
Major stress
Reproductive damage
Ovulation does typically happen between day 12 and 20 for the average, healthy female. Unfortunately, not every female is average. Your ovulation should happen in the middle of your cycle, meaning:
If you have a cycle of 28 days then you ovulate on day 14.
If you have a cycle of 26 days then you ovulate on day 13.
If you have a cycle of 20 days then you ovulate on day 10.
Unfortunately, many women experience early ovulations or late ovulation. If a woman ovulates too early, her egg may not be viable and healthy enough to become fertilized. If a woman ovulates too late, there may not be enough time for it to become fertilized and properly attached to the uterine wall before menstruation occurs.
It is extremely possible you don't ovulate, especially if you've taken 2 ovulation predictor tests and they have all not been able to detect an ovulation date.
The good news is that you're not alone. You're NOT the only woman on the planet who has problems ovulating. It can be fixed, in many cases.
After 1 full year of trying to conceive you would be classified as infertile. Wait until you hit the 1 year mark and then see a fertility specialist. Your regular doctor cannot do much until the 1 year mark hits, and then he could prescribe something like clomid to help you ovulate more frequently. A fertility specialist can do a whole lot more than prescribe a pill and hope it works ;)
There are also some herbal supplements you can take to increase your chances of expelling a healthy egg, ovulating on time, and increasing your partner's sperm healthy count. I notice from your past questions that you've asked about this sort of thing so I'll give you that information in another one of your previous questions :)
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for my dry facial skin i drink lots of water, moisturize, and take a vitamin E daily. If i feel like i need to take a second vitamin in the same day ( which would only be 2 vitamins for that day) do you think its OK? the recommended amt is 1 per day. And i am a teen. Do you think taking 2 will be OK? by the way sometimes i have eczema on my face so thats another reason why i would want to take a second vitamin. (link)
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Don't take more than recommended. Just because it's a vitamin doesn't mean that it can't hurt you. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't quite understand that. There are fairly low odds that vitamin E would cause a bad reaction, but if the bottle doesn't suggest you use a second pill then just don't do it. Just because something is "natural" doesn't mean you can take as much of it as you like.
Instead, pick up some fish oil gel capsules. They are a wonderful form of Omega-3 fatty acids, which will help your skin to stay moisturized and supple. If a decent fish oil isn't available to you in your area then you can try to find some krill oil (which is much better than fish oil, by the way).
You could also pick up some pure almond oil to apply directly to your face. Just a little dab does it and the oil is light enough that it is absorbed quickly so you don't get that icky oily shine to your skin:
http://www.vitacost.com/Natures-Alchemy-100-Sweet-Almond-Oil
You could also purchase some pure aloe juice and drink some of it each day. I've never taken aloe so I'm not sure if it tastes bad or anything though. I know that a lot of stores, like Wal-Mart, are starting to sell containers of it though, and people have said it has worked wonders for them when used as directed.
Make sure you're taking a regular multi-vitamin for yourself, too. The body has to function properly to keep itself hydrated and healthy. If you lack a key vitamin, mineral, or nutrient then your body has to work extra hard to figure out how to make up for that loss.
It may also help to keep a humidifier turned on in your bedroom when you sleep. The extra moisture in the air will help your skin to absorb it while you sleep. A lot of beauty books recommend just turning on the humidifier, removing all the lotions from the face (letting the pores open up), closing the door, and getting some good rest. Humidifiers come pretty cheap now and all you add to them are pure, clean water :)
As a side note, eczema can very much be caused by a skin fungus that causes the skin to dry, flake, and not retain moisture. If you haven't already, you may want to see a dermatologist to get your skin looked at. Sometimes it requires a prescription antibiotic cream to kill the fungus. Although, sometimes, via natural methods, you can kill the fungus by applying a tea tree oil solution on the face twice a day as a wash (wash with just dab; rinse well; moisturize an hour later with natural oils such as almond and/or sesame):
http://www.vitacost.com/Desert-Essence-Castile-Liquid-Soap-with-Organic-Tea-Tree-Oil
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I went to the doctor because I got this coldsore this year and it hurt and I thought the doctor might give me some prescription medicine to make it clear up better. When he was talking about the cold sore he said it was a form of herpes. He was going on about how I needed to not touch it or kiss anybody because it can spread to like my other body parts and to other people?
So...cold sores are herpes or do I misunderstand?
Because my mom gets coldsores and she told me it was just a virus.
And I been getting cold sores since I was like 13. And I only have had sex with like 4 guys TOTAL.
Do I have an STD? Like...Do I have herpes? or is my doctor like wrong or something?
Sorry, I'm kind of scared. (link)
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Yes, you have herpes, which is a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
There are two common strains of herpes.
HSV-1
and
HSV-2
HSV-1 usually appears on the mouth lips, nostils, and eyes. It can spread anywhere though, including your genitals. HSV-1 is commonly referred to as oral herpes since it usually appears on the oral cavity.
HSV-2 usually appears on the genitals. It, too, can spread anywhere though, including your face. HSV-2 is commonly referred to as genital herpes since it usually appears on or around the genitals.
Coldsores are usually caused by HSV-1. Sometimes the sores can be HSV-2 though. The only way to know the difference is to get blood work done and specifically request a test for both major herpes strains. Most STD tests don't even test for herps any more since it's so common.
Relax. Even the over-the-counter remedies have a section about how cold sores are contagious because they are herpes. Herpes is a disease and is not curable, but you can do plenty of things to help heal the sore faster and reduce the amount of outbreaks you experience.
You can very well go on herpes medication to suppress outbreaks if you have them frequently enough. Unfortunately, a possible side-effect/warning of those prescription medications are death. If your outbreaks aren't frequent and severe then just use over-the-counter remedies.
Do not engage in oral sex, kissing, or share food/utensils while you have an outbreak and for about 2 weeks after. You're at your peak contagious time then. Try not to spread it :)
So, in short:
Yes, your doctor is right.
Yes, you have herpes.
Yes, coldsores are herpes.
Yes, you have an STD.
No, your mother is completely wrong.
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Hi, 19/f
I just started taking birth control about 2 weeks ago (I just entered my third week last night) and since I've been taking it, I've been experiencing minor cramps. They don't really hurt too bad (I used to have cramps that interrupted normal life), but they are kind of annoying and I'm not sure if it's normal. I'm taking Levora, and I tried to Google the side effects, but nothing about cramps came up. I just wanna know if this is normal because it's annoying and it doesn't make me feel good. If anyone has taken this birth control pill, or if you happen to know if this is normal, I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks in advance! :) (link)
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When I first started taking birth control pills I was pretty young. About age 13. I had to be put on them because my periods were irregular and the doctor found a cyst on my ovary.
The first month was pretty rough because I, too, experienced cramping even though I wasn't on my period. I remember asking my mom if it was normal and she said that it could be a side effect of the cyst growth slowing and shrinking from the ovary itself. The cramps went away in about a month to a month in a half and then I only got cramps when I got my period.
Now, my mother isn't the brightest woman in the world so I don't want to tell you something false. I can only pass along what I know from my own personal experience.
I, personally, would talk with your doctor about the cramping. At 13 I didn't know a person could go back to the doctor to ask about these sorts of things. At 24 I certainly would at least give a ring to the nurse in the office and say, "I was put on the Levora birth control pills and I've been having some light cramping every since I began. Is that okay or normal or should I come in for another check-up?" The nurse will tell you what should happen, if it's normal, and will set you an appointment if required. She may end up saying, "Oh, that's fairly normal. Don't worry about it unless it lasts a long time or becomes severe."
So, if I were you, I'd call into the doctor's office and ask the nurse about it. Schedule an appointment if she feels it would be helpful to get the question answered or if you might need a second look at.
Unfortunately, birth control pills can wreak havoc on the female body since they're full of synthetic hormones. A lot of side effects aren't reported or listed on the possible symptoms because there are so many of them. This could just be your body's way of reacting to them. This could be something like a cyst shrinking in your body. This could be, well, a lot of things that aren't very serious.
Give a call in and see what is said. In the worst case scenario you have to come in, talk to your doctor, and change pills.
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Ok here's question that might be hard to answer .maybe not .my problem is trying to get my wife to want sex as much as I do .you see I have to initate everything .but I want her to be in the mood and just grab me ,rub me,kiss on me ,or anything to that matter .I want to be wanted in that way where she just can't keep her hands off me .I'm a verry atractve man .so what is the problem .iv talked to her about it but all she can say is I am atracted to you .but saying and doing is two different thing .sometimes I fell like a looser or failure because I fell so rejected .my sex life is just not there .anymore and I'm only 39 .sure I can spice it up and do different things but that doesn't get me what I want .sure lll get sex but not how I want it to be .like you see on the soaps hot seamy well you get the idea .it just doesn't happen she just lies there and let me do all the work .so what's the point in that anyways .so if anyone has a clue what I'm talking about or has been in my shoes please by all means give me some pointers of what. Can do (link)
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Girls are more than visual. (This is why Soap Operas are a huge hit with the ladies ;) )
As in:
Men watch pornos with lots of ACTION. You want to SEE what is going on. You want to see the faces, the insertions, the fluids, and whatever else may be present in an adult film.
Women tend to go for storyline. They want the knight in shining armor first. They want personality with the erotic part. They want to know the characters a little more other than just their genital appearances. Sure, they want to see the action too--but they're more inclined to want to "know" the people better or have a lengthy, non-sexual scenario tied within the film.
You have to figure out what she wants. Does she want a knight in shining armor that will rescue her? Does she want a guy who is very romantic, bringing her flowers and leaving her love-notes in the morning? Does she just want to be dominated, controlled, and taken? What are her hidden fantasies? Sexual desires? Turn-ons? Chances are, there are some huge ones you're completely overlooking.
So, while she may look at you and think you're a handsome man, it doesn't mean she'll get all hot and bothered. You can be extremely attractive but an asshole--which kills the entire "mood" for many women. Personality is a lot of it.
If she wishes you were some prince charming then charm her. Surprise her with flowers often. Kissing on her neck and work her up a little. Leave her cutesy little love-notes on the bathroom mirror, pillow beside her in the morning, in the cereal bowl, or wherever you can find a spot before leaving for work. They can be as basic as can be too:
"I love you."
"I'm proud to be your husband."
"Good morning, Gorgeous."
"I'll be thinking of you today!"
"You're beautiful when you sleep."
"Thinking of you puts a smile on my face all day long."
"You're the woman of my dreams."
"Your smile lights up my life."
A lot of people forget about romance when they get married. They stop going out on special dates. They stop getting all dressed up for their partner.
Take her out and spend a super nice evening with her once every 2 or so weeks. Find a babysitter if you have children. Get all dressed up like you did when you were still dating. Take her somewhere really nice that she'll enjoy. Surprise her with the places, the movies, the romantic walks, and the date. Compliment her like you did when you were courting her. Have a few laughs and make it a just you-just her evening.
Many women also just want to be dominated. They're many women who are, naturally, just submissive. It's hard to get them to take control because it's out of their comfort zone. Usually to get this done you have to get her to open up, sexually, and express her deepest, darkest desires. You play on them a little. You work her up throughout the day. Talk dirty to her if she likes it (caution: some women REALLY hate that). You turn her on, bring her almost to orgasm, and then leave her hanging for a little more. You know your wife. You know how to communicate with her, surely. This isn't something someone can just make a guide to. You have to talk to her and work with things she enjoys, too.
Sometimes the woman does want to be more dominant but has been taught not to during childhood or is afraid of killing some part of a man's masculinity. It's possible you just have to bring out her wild side. You could start with something minor, like asking for her to be on top or for her to talk dirty to you.
Sometimes a kink can be developed together. Some people like sex in public, for example. While you might not want to jump in that right off the bat, you can say, "I was thinking of something really hot today..." and see if there is something you two can share. If she says, "Yeah...that sounds really delightful..." then you can test the waters a little together. For the public sex thing, this could mean a little press against a wall with a hot kiss or something. Get her into it as time progresses so that she is the one says, "CAN WE?! I HAVE AN IDEA! LET'S DO THAT!" Again, you know your wife and what she is -probably- into so you might want to base some "ideas" on that and talk with her about it.
Whatever it is, play on her desires. Get her all hot and heavy and leave it to her to push things forward. Don't be afraid to be playful. You're 39--you're not dead. Don't be demanding or disappointed if things don't go so great the first few times you get her frisky. It's new to her. She isn't a pro.
Start with some discussion. Communication is key to relationship happiness. Poke and prod her gently for her hidden desires, kinks, and fantasies. Share yours with her. Make her comfortable. Play on the fantasies a little, and it should encourage her to open up to yours.
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My wife had her minstreal cycle last week and 2 days after her cycle had ended it started again .but this time she is bleeding realy bad her pads are drenced with blood and she goes through 3 pads every 2 hours .ther are other things two like we haven't had sex in almost 2 years because she said it hurts too bad but when we did have sex in the past she would bleed afterwards .she is 33 years old so I don't think it menopause she's too young for that .so I don't know what it is .should she go to see a doctor .I think she does and I told her she needs to go and I would be by her side but I thinks she's afraid .how do I convince her to go .or does anyone out here have any clue as to what is going on with her . (link)
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Any time a woman bleeds a menstrual pad full in an hour or less it means she is having serious hemorrhaging internally. There are cases of women dying during their menstrual period because of complications.
3 pads ever 2 hours means 1 and 1/2 pads are full each hour. This is extremely, extremely, extremely dangerous.
She needs to seek emergency medical care immediately.
For note, some women today do go through menopause extremely early, even as early as their late twenties. Heavy periods are usually not a major sign of menopause onset though. It's usually the opposite.
If she lets this sort of thing continue then she can develop uterine scar tissue, infections, and serious complications to her life. I once had a period for 2 months solid and became dangerous low on iron and other nutrients--my life was at risk. Your wife's life is at risk. She needs help. Now.
Take her to the ER and get her help so that this sort of thing can be solve and won't continue to happen. Explain to her that it's a very, very serious matter and that, no matter how much her embarrassment, that you care about her and want her to be safe and healthy (and will hold her hand throughout it all). Encourage her to get help now.
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Ever since I could remember, I've had cold sores on my lips. They come and they go. I don't get them alot, usually just in the winter. Well, I had one on the right side of my lips, and my boyfriend who is still a virgin* I gave him headd, well later that night, he called me and told me he had something that looked like a hickey on his shaft, and another one right under his head; but it had a rough texture too it. He said it hurt him to touch it, and to even pee. Did my cold sore do this?
Btw, now after we kissed, he has three cold sores on his bottom lip, and three lie bumps on the tip of his tongue. Is this from me too? Or is it because he had strep throat? My cold sore is completely gone. But I read someone elses post, and they had a smiliar problem, and they said she had a std?
I've had sex with two guys; One was a virgin, and the other one had sex with two girls before me. I gave them both head; but I haven't experienced any signs of STD's. (link)
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HSV-1 = Oral Herpes (cold sores)
HSV-1 = Genital Herpes
You can get oral herpes on your genitals.
You can get genital herpes on your mouth.
Again, most STD tests don't test for herpes unless you SPECIFICALLY REQUEST IT (and pay the extra money).
I never said you have genital herpes.
Oral herpes is what you likely have.
Maybe you have misunderstood your doctor:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=589076
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Yes, you have an STD.
Coldsores = herpes.
Herpes = sexually transmitted disease.
Always. Every single time.
There is very much mis-information below that I need to clear up. It is NOT a "very slight" chance that HSV-2 ("genital herpes") transfers to the mouth. Those odds are actually EXTREMELY high, especially if there is a current outbreak (or within two weeks prior or after an outbreak). HSV-2 tends to spread faster than HSV-1, for whatever reason. It's more apt to spread from the mucus membrane onto the other parts of the flesh (ie: from the vagina, down the thighs, up the abdomen, etc.).
Unfortunately, you are NOT STD-free. Telling a partner that you are is false information. Knowing you have an STD, especially something like herpes or HIV, can actually make you liable for bodily damages if your partner becomes infected from your negligence. Of course, these lawsuits usually happen after a messy break-up. Technically, if you did pass the virus along to your partner without informing him of your infection before your encounters, he could sue you.
The virus (either HSV-1 or HSV-2 strains) usually shows up 10 - 14 days after contracting it. There have been cases in which people have contracted the virus and did not have their first outbreak for months. Some people have reported lesions as little as 4 or 5 days after their infectious encounter. That I am aware of, there are no reported cases of lesions appearing within the first 24 hour period from infection.
When a person contracts HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus actually lives in the body, at the lower base of the spinal cord, for the rest of the person's life. There is absolutely no cure for herpes. Unfortunately, you do not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer this STD so there are millions of Americans who have contracted herpes because there were no visible signs of infection.
Herpes is very, very common now:
"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."
http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/
I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years (anywhere from 1 year to 10+ years) in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years and some occasions where people have the initial outbreak much sooner than average. The first outbreak usually is the most severe of them. Because of this:
Your partner could have possibly had herpes long before your encounter.
There are thousands, if not millions, of herpes-infected people who are complete virgins. The sad truth is that during innocent diaper-changes many parents end up spreading their virus along to their infant. It's entirely too common. Go to any herpes forum and you'll see a dozen questions right away asked by parents with infants and toddlers who have contracted the virus from unwashed hands. Unfortunately, many of these children grow up to think their symptoms are fairly normal for the average healthy person, not knowing they're infected with a disease, or end up going years in between outbreaks and not putting two-and-two together as, well, a disease.
I, personally, contracted herpes through innocent contact with my mother prior to my turning 4 years old. I can remember my first known outbreak. It wasn't until I was nearly 20 that I learned my "harmless" coldsore was really an STD.
Engaging in oral sex during an outbreak is incredibly risky for both partners. The give-er can actually spread their own herpes around their mouth/face. The receiver can end up with whatever herpes strain(s) their partner has all over their genitals.
Thousands, if not millions, of Americans have HSV-2 ("genital" herpes) on their mouths.
Thousands, if not millions, of Americans have HSV-1 ("oral" herpes; coldsores; feverblisters) on their genitals.
Some people have herpes on their elbows, believe it or not. Any place where there is a minor break in the skin and the infected cells get to can become an outbreak location for the virus.
If your partner has the lesions right now, encourage him to get a full STD test drawn up. Have him specially request a test for herpes, as many/most typical STD tests don't even test for either strain any more. Encourage him to ask them to swab/scape the area for the more accurate results for these bumps and lesions. They will drawn blood for the bloodwork of the test. He will get a response within a few weeks if he has been infected or if these sores have nothing to do with herpes.
Chances of these sores being herpes?
Extremely high.
Chances you gave him herpes?
Unfortunately...extremely high. Engaging in kissing, oral sex, or sharing food/utensils during an outbreak is, seriously, the worst thing a person can do. The "peak" contagious time for a herpes-infected person is about 2 weeks before an outbreak, the time during the actual outbreak and healing process, and a full 2 weeks after the outbreak has cleared and there are no visible signs present.
He needs to see a doctor.
Now before the sores clear up.
I have a lot of hours in on learning about herpes. If you have any questions that you want real, factual information about from REAL LIFE (and not strictly the "well my doctor said!" BS people throw around) please inbox me your questions. I can even share some herbal supplements you can take to reduce your outbreak time, symptoms, discomfort, and frequency.
P.S.
This BS about "herpes isn't serious" is really terrible. People die from herpes. I'm not trying to scare you, I promise, but there are many reported cases of people actually DYING because they were herpes infected. It isn't a harmless disease. It can very well be dead for many individuals, and has even spread to the brain and caused death. I think that's kind of serious...don't you? ;)
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