My boyfriend planned this double date with his friend
Question Posted Sunday December 26 2010, 12:47 am
So my boyfriend is planning a double date with me and his friend for this tuesday. I hate double dates cause they're just so awkward and I don't know his friend or the other person. Ugh i just don't want to go. How do i get out of it? And why is he planning such a thing? It just makes me uncomfortable. And I'm not going to talk about it with him because he's just gonna make me go anyway cause it's his friend. help....I hope I'm busy.
NinjaNeer answered Sunday December 26 2010, 8:03 am: In a serious relationship, there tends to be a shift in friendships. Rather than each maintaining a separate list of friends, you tend to have shared friends. Also, you'll find have a lot more in common with other couples rather than singles.
Look, I've been there. Most of the couples that my fiance and I are friends with are people he knew before I did. It's awkward having to meet two new people who all know each other. Have some faith in your boyfriend, though. He wouldn't make you go out with two people he doesn't think you'll like.
Let him know you're nervous about meeting these people. He'll be there to reassure you throughout. He won't be able to help if you don't tell him! [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
Peeps answered Sunday December 26 2010, 7:06 am: If you don't want to talk with him about it then say goodbye to your relationship. Communication is absolutely the key to making relationships actually work. If you can't even talk to him about disliking double-dating then how can you expect to have the ability to talk to him about serious matters that will eventually come up in the relationship?
Double-dating is important in the dating world. You get to meet the partner's friend and the partner's friend's girlfriend, who you might end up having something in common with. Your boyfriend gets to introduce you to one of his best friend's in what should be the most comfortable setting. You get to chat with a girl and the boys can chat together so it should add to the comfort factor.
I understand not liking "group" dates or something though. I know the level of intimacy is lowered slightly and the prospect of meeting new people can be overwhelming for some people. You have to think of it this way:
You really should meet your boyfriend friend(s).
If you have the opportunity to not have to have a full-on discussion or awkward silences with the friend (ie: you get to talk to a girl to break some of the uncomfortable strange-boy/strange-girl barrier) why not take it? There's no "third-wheel" feeling either.
You can meet the friend. Chat with a female who probably knows how you're feeling and may share some of your interests, and all is well and good. Your boyfriend can talk with his friend with you around then without feeling like you're not included in the fun. It's suppose to be a more comfortable way of meeting "the friends." ;)
If you're not willing to talk to him about it then there's not much you can do that will not damage the relationship. If you purposely make yourself "busy" or fake-sick that day then you can't even say you were completely honest in the relationship. your boyfriend may find out and become incredibly hurt, and you'll risk having to meet his friend in a situation which may end up being even more uncomfortable for you.
You could end up having a wonderful time.
If you talked to your boyfriend about being nervous and uncomfortable first he may be able to make things a little lighter during the meeting. You two could discuss altering the plans just a little so that the situations were more comfortable and reassuring instead of cold and awkward for you.
Personally, I'd give it a shot. I wouldn't say that if you didn't go you were a "bad" girlfriend but I'd say that you didn't care as much about you relationship than you should be at this time. Think of it this way: it's one evening. Just one. You don't have to keep doing it over and over if you go through with it and decide that it was TOO uncomfortable. If you opened the lines of communication with your boyfriend then you'd even be able to tell him exactly what about the encounter that made you uneasy so that the next time you four possibly got together it would be better.
There's no need to be afraid or uncomfortable over meeting these new people. It's one of the most comfortable situations ever because you'll have your partner by your side that you can provide extra comfort and security. [ Peeps's advice column | Ask Peeps A Question ]
Matt answered Sunday December 26 2010, 4:18 am: If you want to be a good girlfriend, you should go.
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