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i went out with this really amazing girl.but then her n her best friend got into a fight,so her best friend told me that my girlfriend likes my best friend n my best friend like her,which wasnt true,but when i talked bout it 2 him he promised he wud never do sumthin like that 2 me.n then 2 months later my girlfriend says she wants 2 break up cuz she feels vulnerable.n then my asshole best friend moves in on her n now theyre goin out n r deeply in love.sum girl liked me when i was goin out with my girlfrnd but she kept her distant n didnt make a move.my best frnd was just being a bastard n seduced her n stabbed me in the bak.its been 1.5 months since we broke up but i still miss her more then nething.she was my first love n its just so hard 2 move on

I always thought guys had a "code" you know? But i guess not because a couple of my guy friends got in a fight over a similar situation. Normally I would say "bacl away because they are together"..but this time i wont because your friend did a mean thing. I would talk to your ex..in person or on AIM and tell her how you feel and tell her you broke up just over the confusion. Speak whatever is in your heart to her..and dont hold back. You dont want to wonder what could have been do you? After you speak your heart out to this girl..all you can do is wait. She might decide to go back with you..if she doesnt..there isnt anythign else you can do
:( and thats why love can suck sometimes.
Hopefully it will work out..if not..time will make things easier..but you will never forget her totally. Try having fun...try to keep your mind off of her. I know its hard..it will get easier though. I promise.
I hope i helped out.Write to me in my inbox if i can help you out any further.I would be more than happy to help all i can.
-melissa-

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My best friend is really sweet, but isn't so popular with the boys. I happen to be (not to me boastful) Anyway, when ever I tell her about my boyfriend or that a boy told me he likes me, she says "at least that guy likes you" SO I can't talk to her about guys. I don't know what to do


PLease help

I feel your friends pain because i cant get guys either..but you just gota wait for the guy who likes her to come along. try explaining that a guy will come along and sweep her off her feet too...she just has to be patient. Try hooking her up..maybee have a girls night out..have a sleepover..get her happy aagain..and maybe after she realizes her time will come..then you could talk about guys with her hopefully

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I helped my friend get a boy, who is also my friend. She said she really liked him and totally wanted to go out. So I hooked them up. The boy is really sweet and really likes her. The day after they were together. She says to me that she's going to break up with him because she's in love with her ex from like a year ago. (And he doesn't like her like that.) She got me to hook them up, and she's going to break his heart after he admits his feelings for her. I don't think thats right. i told her she said she'll give him 1 week tops. I don't know what I should do

PLease help

Your friend doesnt sound like she should be with him at all. Your guy friend doesnt deserve that. I would tell your guy friend to give him a heads up. Break it to him slowly. then maybe he can break up with her..or he could talk to her about it. Shes timing the guy to make her happy? "i'll give him a week tops" she says. Well..she doesnt sound happy soo i dont think its fair to either one of them to be together. There isnt much more you can do..because it involves her and the guy. Its upsetting i know you want to help..but after talking to your friend and your guy friend..there isnt much more you can do.

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I have a large group of really close friends. Two who some would say are the most popular are starting to be really badly bullied by this jelous cow with no real friends. She has been being horrible to them for a long time, but now things are getting nasty. One of these two friends today got really badly shouted, e.c.t at, punched in the back ( which is really bad for her, as she has a bad spine and needs to wear a back brace) and her hair pulled so badly, I mean really pulled. In the shouting, she insulted her so much as well- calling her a jewish bitch and so on. All my other friends and I did all we could to break up the conflict and she would have done much more if we weren't there. I have a feeling this is going to get much worse. We have told the teachers, but this is going to make her so angry. This is all over nothing, simply them being popular. Both friends were left crying. For ages we have ran away whenever we have seen them ( she has her gang). What can I do to stop this from getting worse? Also, the other friend has a bad self image (even though boys think she is best looking in the school) and has been a cutter in the past. What can I do to help my friends and stop the bullying?

This is serious. You need to tell an adult..and even the police!this is assault and she needs to be prosecuted. tell your parents! Tell the principal. Dont worry about anyone getting mad..it has to be done! Get that girl in trouble! Dont let her do this continually. Your safety and your friends safety is in danger..and rhats not right. The school is supposed to ensure everyone's safety. If you tell..they will ensure your safety.
Your second question..get all the boys..everyone to kinda sign a poster or a book put together of pictures of her. Have them sign it and tell her how great of a friend she is/pretty/ etc. I think this would really flatter her. Try it out..and if it doesnt work write back to me
Hope i helped out
-melissa-

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okay.. theres no topic for this cuz I dont knwo what it should be but what ever... anyways... my mom is constantly finding my money that I hide and or takes it from me as soon as I get it to go get drugs.. I dont know what I should do about my whole situation and she is very manipulative so if u say go to the police she will get her way out of it (believe me Ive tried) what should I do?

Is your father living with you? if not..do you keep in touch? If you do call him and tell him about it..maybe live with a relative. Maybe your dad could take it to the police? Um try talking to your guidance conselor..maybe they could do something? Is it bad enough that your considering calling Social Services so you dont have to live in that kind of environment? Your mom has a drug problem..and people with drug problems will do anything to get their drugs. You shouldnt be in a house like that.I would try getting out. Maybe talk to your mom..try and get her to get help? She could go to rehab maybe. Sit her down when she isnt high..and tell her that you want her to be a mother and just tell her everything your feeling. Im sorry if you tried all of these suggestions. This is a hard situation. I wuold really try getting out until your mom gets help. Maybe if you leave she will see how much shes screwed up and maybe she'll get help. This isnt your fault and you dont desserve to be in that kind of environment! Get yourself out of there sweetie.
-melissa-

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I am 15 and I just cannot get any guys to notice me. Sure, I have plenty of guy friends, but I find it very difficult for guys to look at me as more then a friend. I'm not exactly skinny, but I guess i wouldn't callk myself extremely huge. I am just overweight. I work really hard to lose weight and it usually works, but I always get so depressed when I see all my friends who weigh like 115 pounds and how they always get the guys to notice them. How can i get guys to notice me and really see the real me, not just what is on the outside? How can I make them see the real me? How can I deal with the stress I have, and how can i lose enough weight to make guys want to be with me? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Hey..im 15..overweight..and no boys at all are interested in me. Its hard sometimes..but you gota hold your head up high. Wait for the guy who sees you for you. Wait for the guy who doesnt have to have a skinny girl to be with..those are the kind of guys who probably arent worth while anyway. Keep hanging with your guy friends..you sound friendly which is excellent. Keep hangin with them and being yourself. Dont lose weight just to have guys notice you. Wouldnt you want a guy who dates you because he really likes you..not just because your skinny? Being overweight is kinda a good thing because when a guy likes you..you know he likes you for what on the inside and out. I see so many pretty girls get hurt because the guys use them only for their looks. All your friends know the real you..and thats the important thing. You cant pull aside a guy..MAKE him see the real you..and make him like you. The guy who will sweep you off your feet will see the real you..just from how you act during the school day..and the wait will be worth it:)
Dont lose weight just for a guy..do it for yourself! If your going to go on a diet..do it gradually. (i cant stress this enough) If you go absolutely nuts on your diet..you may lose like 4 lbs..but then you'll find yourself cheating on your diet and you will end up right where you are now again. SO gradually work your way into eating healthier. (example: if you eat 1 serving of junkfood every day..cut it down to one serving thats smaller for every other day) Eat balanced meals..and slowly increase your excersise pattern.
I hope i helped..and dont worry..your not the only one waiting for a guy to like a girl for her inner self..im waiting too..along with a lot of others around the world. We just gota keep being ourselves..and trust me the wait will pay off!
-melissa- :)

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me and my boyfriend have been together on and off for about a year...and we're crazy about eachother we know everything there is to know about eachother well when he came over Sunday things went a little further than i wanted them to..so what i want to know is how do u know when ur cherry has popped,....how it gets popped and if it has to pop to be pregnant ...plz help im scared i might be pregnant!! thanks to anyone that helps!

If you had sex..yes your cherry is probably popped. All that means is..his penis broke the piece of skin covering your vaginal area. It doesnt mean your pregnent...it just means he took your virginity. If he fingered you rough enough..he could have popped it also. Ways to tell is if you were bleeding a little. If you still cant remember..the only way to find out is to use your finger and see if the skin is still there.If you had sex..especially unprotected sex..definately get a pregnency test..or go to plan parenthood.

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my lil bro is 7 we share a room and i have a double bed and sometimes he gets scared of thunder cause hes a light sleeper and im not so he gets woken and i dont ANYWAY he got freacked by some thunder and so did i so i didnt object when he hopped in next to me but i got woken up a bit later by him touching my penis and rubbing my leg with his foot neither of us have said anything what should i do

OK dont worry..hes 7 so in my opinion i think this can be corrected. the imortant thing to do is to tell your parents ASAP. Maybe they can have your brother talk to the guidance counselor..some other professional..or maybe they will just tell him that it is wrong which is fine too. Its important that you say something though..this way it gets corrected

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ok, well I just turned 13 not to long ago and I have a boyfriend. But if my parents find out they would kill me. If I'm on the phone with a guy or whatever and my parents ask who I'm talking to I always have to lie and say one of my friends names thats a girl. And if a guy calls me and I don't answer the phone everyone keeps asking me questions about why there calling and stuff. I really love my b/f tho and when i wanna go somewhere with him I have to tell my parents that I'm going sumwhere with my friends. I just wanna be allowed to have a b/f so i can hang out with him all the time and everything without having to have at least one of my friends there. What can I do?

I would talk to your parents. You could either start it off by saying "mom..dad..i have a bf.." or you could say.."mom..dad..what IF i had a bf.." The go on to say.. I want to be able to tell you whats going on in my life. I dont want to have to lie to you. I wanted to tell you that i have a bf ..but I just didnt want you flipping out on me. I think this would get through to your parents well because all parents want to know whats going on in their childrens' lives. If this doesnt work and they totally flip out..I guess you will have to keep secretly dating until they are ok with it. Hopefully after talking to them..they will see things from your point of view. Drop me a line in my inbox if you have any more problems..i would be happy to help!
-melissa-

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ok well there's this guy and he likes me and 3 of my other friends and he's obsessed w/ me and i don't mean to sound conceited but its so annoying and all he talks to me about is how hot i am and one of his favorite lines to say online is "you love me wut?" and he always does this and he's always like "i want you hardcore on the bathroom in the shower" and stuff like that and its really sickening and i want him to stop..but i mean he's one of my friends..and i hate when he does that..and he's just the most annoying person ever..and i'm sick of him saying that stuff..but i don't know how to say it..how should i tell him that he's so annoying and i want him to stop saying that kind of stuff to me..?

Sometimes you need to lay it on thick. This is one of those times. If you dont feel right yelling at him to stop in person..then on AIM type in caps that you want him to stop! Tell him uou still want to be friends but he HAS TO stop harassing you. Get it in his head that you and him arent gonna happen..and if it doesnt stop you'll have no choice but to report him. It might make him feel a little uncomfortable but o well because he made you really feel uncomfortable with those remarks! If he doesnt stop right away you need to report him because a friend doesnt keep doing that when you say stop it.
-melissa-

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i'm 14 and i think about sex kind of a lot because this one guy that i really really like wants to have sex w/ me but i don't really want to but then again i look at some of my friends that are 14 and they've lost their virginity already but i don't really want to have sex w/ this one guy but then i do..i'm confused and i don't know if i'm totally out of my mind for thinking about this but i don't want to have sex w/ him but then i do..is it bad to even think about it when i'm 14?

no way its not bad to think about it. Its perfectly normal. I think about it too. listen..dont have sex with this guy! Wait for someone you fall in love with! Im not going to say..wait until your married because i might have one belief and you may have another..which is fine. At 14 its kinda young..but when you fall in love and your so completely ready that you dont have to ask anyone about it..then go for it. Im still a virgin..but everyone who talks to be about losing their virginity..all of them keep saying "its not the way i expected/wanted it to be." Wait until you meet a guy who sweeps you off your feet!
-melissa-

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my best friend has done "things" with a guy that i never thought she would do i mean shes only 14 and i have known her for about 8 years and she has never done anyhting like this before...i know its like none of my buisness to what she does but i just dont know what to say to her or what to think of her anymore...what do i do???

at 14..people (especially girls) can do some really crazy stuff. I wouldnt not be her friend over it. If its only one guy..maybe overlook it. Everyone has different sexual desires and wants. If she starts to become a slut and does this with quite a few guys..i would talk to her about how your concerned. But for now..maybe say 'wow im a little suprised that you did this stuff. Did you regret it?" I know people who have done things..(people who i would never expect to do those types of things) and they are still the same fun people to hang out with. So what im trying to say is..even though she fooled around..it doesnt mean shes going to totally change. I like that your concerned about her..and hopefully when you talk to her...she'll appreciate that also.
Write back to me if things go wrong or if you need someone to talk to
Hope i helped
-melissa-

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Does anybody know how i could remember my homework??? Because i always forget and i think i lost my agenda. And they wont give us new ones ??? Any advice would be great ( i rate high)

How about you get a notebook just for your homework assignments. Try and keep up with the date so you know what homework is for which day. Thats your best bet
hope i helped,
-melissa-

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ok my friend is only 12 and she was sleeping at my house and was talking to this boy on my computer about doing drugs (pot, ciggarettes, alcohol) and now i don't feel right when talking to her should i still be her friend?
thanks, ~lost n confused~

Yes still be her friend...but talk to her about how shocked you are to find out all the things she does/thinking to do. You can still be her friend even though you have differences..i would break it off if you see shes changing waay too much and shes doing all this stuff alll the time. (hopefully she wont)As long as she leaves the drugs..etc out of your friendship then keep being her friend.

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I just had a really quick question. My boyfriend and I have done some.. hmm "stuff" and I was wondering- what kind of "stuff" is okay to do at 14? ( we haven't had sex ) - and I don't want answers like "do what you're confortable with," because I was very comfortable with what I did, I just want to know if it was right for what age I am.

Well..everyone has a different opinion. We have no right to tell you what is okay and what isnt. I think almost all of us could agree that sex isnt something people would say is okay for a 14 year old to do. I would say making out and experimenting with touch is okay for a 14 year old to do..however..there are 14 year olds who have the connection and are mature enough..so if you did more than that dont worry because some 14 year olds can handle doing other things.

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I'm a thirteen year old female. Recently Iv'e started eating super healthy. When I'm at home eating the food there, or eating foods with nutrition information I'm fine, but whenever I eat at someone else's house or eat out and the food served looks fattening or sugary I panic. I don't know whats in it and so on. Sometimes I make up excuses for not eating things. My friends jokingly said I was anorexic before. That didn't bother me. However, now they have started to say it seriously and my own mum said I was eating in an anorexic way. I know people suffering from anorexia have poor self image, but I think I am at a perfect weight. Please tell me if I am anorexic or not. Honestly.

Anorexic..well have you been losing weight? It sounds like maybe your just eating a little waay to healthy. Im glad you have a good self image because thats a good sign that your not anorexic. If you have a good self image and you havent been losing weight..then i dont think your anorexic. You just have to stop panicing about the greasy food Try and ease up on the super healthy stuff. Its good to eat healthy like you are..but dont be afraid to splurge once in awhile with something thats greasy.

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hey im just wondering, if u cut is it like wrong.. is it that big of a deal.. if its not for attention it just helps you deal with yourself then does it matter? do you need help if you do cut?

Yes, cutting is wrong and its a big deal. Just because you dont want attention from it doesnt mean its good...wanting attention isnt bad..its he cutting that is. Cutting is NOT the way to deal with yourslf. Theres so many other options that dont involve hurting yourself..nd these options actually help you. You could talk to a counselor,punch a pillow when you want to cut..write poetry..read..listen to music. I would say anyone who cuts should get help right awa if they cant stop on their own right away.
-melissa-

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i can't decide who i should trust and has my back. so what type of kids should i not trust?

The people who are nice to you..say hi,your friend,etc are good peopl to trust. The people not to trust are the gossipers..the ones with bad trust reputations..and the people you dont usually talk to. In other words..as long as you dont tell a secret to someone you dont really talk to..you wont get backstabbed or have them break your trust.

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okay the other night my friend (who moved to the total other end of the u.s like a year ago) well her ex came to my bedroom window and opened it, climbed in, woke me up and was liek i like you alot and i was like half asleep and he all of a sudden took my clothes off and well basically raped me and then when he was done he jumped out my window and i havent seen him since..what should i do..he like raped me and took my virginity(hes 17 and im only 15)..idk what to do..now i cant save my virginity for like the right person or nehting...i need some help quikly..



no matter ur answers ill rate 5's cuz i need the help!!

Rape is a horrible crime..dont let him get away with it! What you have to do first is to tell your mom. I know this is going to be hard for you..but it wasnt your fault nd you were the victim. The best person to turn to is your mom. Shes your best friend and she will help you. The next step is for you and your mom to go to the police about it so they can arrest him. Do it soon or evidence will be lost. They will have to take a test from him and you. Dont hesitate..put him behind bars so he wont rape again!

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My older sister is 17 and tonight (a few minutes ago) she came home from her friends house and her room & clothes - everything - reaked soo bad of cigarette smoke. When i confronted her about it she told me "yeah i know, Nikki`s [the girls house she went to] house smells like that." I dont know Nikki that well but should i believe me sister? I mean, i dont even think i need to nark on her. My parents will find out eventually. But, what do i do???

I would say its a good bet she was smoking. Her parents may not find out..although if she came home smelling like smoke and didnt think to cover it up with perfume or something..then yes maybe they wil find out on their own. What you can do is talk to her..let her know as her sister that your concerned and you dont want her to get hooked. Tell her that smoking costs too much money..here in upstate ny its like 5 something for a pack. Also the health risks..etc. If you continuously notice the smell on her in the future..i would tell your parents. Ur sis wont have to know you ratted her out. Jus tell your parents and they can say that they noticed the smell. I wouldnt not do anything about it though..because i've seen too many friends go down the drain because of smoking

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