about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

There is this girl who was a semi-close friend for about a year who went to my school. Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, she has started acting like a total psychopath. First, she has kept flirting with him and touching him inappropriately (a.k.a, too much hugging and stuff.), although he makes it perfectly clear that he does not like her at all. Next, she began telling my mother that we were making out in between play rehearsals in front of the little kids. Also, when she spent the night over at my best friend’s house, she started talking about ‘how much of a slut I was’, ‘how I totally sucked at acting’, and how my boyfriend wanted her more. It’s kind of obvious that he doesn’t like her, but she always tells me that they are ‘just friends’. Anyways, I have to spend two weeks with her at a boarding school this summer. How am I going to tell her that I don’t want her anywhere around us anymore? HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS PSYCHO?

You have to lay down "ground rules", per say. Let her know that she's said things about you before and it's hurt you and really upset you, and that you would prefer that you have nothing to do with her. If she freaks out or starts claiming she didn't do anything that she did- just ignore her. Find a new friend to hang out with to distract you from her. Really that's all you can do; ignore her.

--Jack
(16/m)

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17/f. I recently met a few guys down where I work, they dont work there they just go there a lot. Anyways I have kinda been like "talking" to all 3 of them and hanging with them and going to their houses. It's nothing serious we just chill and stuff but I am kinda just a friendly person and I thought it was all in fun but now all 3 of them constantly call and text me and talk to me as if I were their girlfriend.

I totally didnt realize what I was doing I didnt mean to lead them on but I have never done more than hugging with any of them! Now one of them is like obsessed and the other too are always asking to hang out and stuff like that.

I don't really like any of them enough to date them, and I'm in way to deep to just say I'm not interested. I only see them on weekends because I live about an hour away from them all (they all live close to eachother but dont really know eachother much).

I was thinking of telling all 3 of them that I met a guy closer to me at my school that I am seeing, so they will kinda back off a bit. I have tried ways of saying I just wanna be friends but it seems like its already gone to far. Should I tell them that? What should I do?! THANKS!!

Really they aren't going to know that you don't want anything more unless you tell them. It's never really too late, and as long as you let them know, they should back off.

I wouldn't lie to them about another guy. They might get jealous and try to pursue you more.

Just being honest with them is really all you can do. I know you said that it's too far to be able to still do that, but like I said- it's never too late.

--Jack
(16/m)

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i get weird when a guy wants to make out when people are around like at a house,park,or with friends around.I feel like their watching and judging me like i'm a bad person or something.When i see people make out around me it's awkward.Small pecks are fine,but making out around people is awkward for me.I feel like making out should be a private thing.So when a guy tries to kiss me,i like tense up and dont want to kiss,when i really do just not when people are around,am i weird in thinking that?? because i feel like the only one lol

thanks in advance!

Oh you're not weird at all thinking that. I completely agree. Like YG said, making out in front of people is actually very rude. It's like a smack in the face that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend and they are going to just brag about it.

It's irritating, and there's nothing wrong with you thinking that. If anything, you should be proud that that's the way you think. It's rather honorable xD.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Is there anyone on here who is 13 years old and they have diabetes?

I'm sure there are. I can't really tell you much about it, but one of the 5th graders who did my high school musical with me had diabetes.

--Jack
(16/m)

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i thought that if u have sex on your perioud then you cant get pregnet it just feals nasty what do you think?

ANY time you have sex you have a chance of getting pregnant. Whether you're on your period or not. Whether you're wearing a condom or not. Whether you're on birth control or not. The only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence.

In fact, if I'm not mistaken, you are very likely to get pregnant while on your period, since eggs are being released.

--Jack
(16/m)

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I am 13 and I havnt made out yet.
People make fun of me and I REALLY WANT TO but I cant get a boyfriend.
What should I do?

Next time someone makes fun of you, tell them to SHOVE IT. YOU control your life, not them. Most of them are whores anyway who just do that stuff to show off. Trust me, it's not cool.

Be patient when it comes to your first kiss. Waiting a little longer can make it all the more special. And waiting for the right person to be with for that is also a special thing, too.

Don't feel in a rush to conform to everyone else.

--Jack
(16/m)

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I decided I wanted to create a Writing Club at my school this upcoming school year. School is two weeks away.
I found out, about a month ago, that a girl had a similar idea to mine, and is actively trying to pursue it.

I tried to do the right thing by contacting her, and telling her about my ideas for the club, but I realized that it is not going to work. We are not going to be able to co-head this club together.

It simply will not work. Besides the fact that I don't actually know her, here is the issue. I'm going to be completely blunt here. Please do not judge me as a horrible person or anything, because I am saying this strictly from the (possible) success or failure of the club.

From what I know of the club, if this girl proceeds to make the club, it will only attract a certain group of people. I am sorry to say this, but it will attract people like her, strange, off-beat people. It looks like it will only attract her friends. I COULD BE WRONG, but from the history of how clubs go in my school, depending on who heads the club determines it's success.

I, on the other hand, do know a wide variety of people, or may be able to bring that.

There's nothing wrong with quirky people, but I think you all know what I'm implying. That was not my vision for the club. I wanted, if I could, to get different types of people.

Another issue is that she is very passive, and does not have a plan. I have a complete plan, and am very aggressive.

Basically, what do I do? As I said, I cannot head this club with her. I've talked to her about it, opened my mind and ears, and it is not going to work. We differ way too much.

Here are the options I created for myself.
1.) Since my Writing Club is a little more centered around Slam Poetry, I could call it that, as opposed to "Writing Club". Basically, same thing, different name.

2.) I could chill out for a while, and see what she does with her club. I'll go to a couple club meetings, and if it plays out like I think I will, proceed to make my own club later in the school year.

Help, please.

You make your club and since you're more aggressive, and she's more passive, hers might not last long. Maybe see if you can contact your principal and get your club started before hers? If she's as passive as you say she is- she probably hasn't taken the initiative to do that.

I'm sure if you start yours first, hers won't be able to be set up. If your principal is any good, they won't let TWO writing clubs happen.

If she's already talked to the principal, I would go to hers, and maybe suggest voting for a president or something and just show people you can be a better leader [but don't be too pushy- I was for Key Club and it didn't work in my favor xD].

Good luck =]

--Jack
(16/m)

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i have sex problem. i can not take time with my wife and my panis is very soft and not stand

None of us can really diagnose you, but I agree with YG- you should see a doctor. I'm sure it's nothing serious, but you never know ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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I'm a 15 year old female and I have a question involving a guy. I promise it's not one of those "There's this guy..." questions. About a year ago, I started going out with this guy at my school. He was really sweet and totally devoted and always there for me no matter what. Then, over the summer I went to Europe for 3 weeks on an exchange program. When I got back in Sept. we were at different schools. From a friend I found out he was cheating on me. We broke up. Half a year later we're going out again because we both still like eachother a lot. The problem is I'm in Europe again, for the whole summer this time and I'm afraid that he'll cheat on me again, even though he promised he wouldn't. I want to trust him but I'm afraid of getting lied to and hurt again like last time. I'm not so sure what to do. Was it wrong of me to give him another chance?
I hope you can help me. Thanks!

I agree that you shouldn't have gotten involved with him again, as he cheated on you, and you are perfectly normal for being worried. It may sound sneaky, but call a friend and ask maybe to check up on him. If he cheated on you before, I don't see much stopping him from doing it again.

To be honest I think it was wrong of you to give him a second chance. Most often, second-chance relationships end even worse than the original relationship. To be even more honest, I think you should break up with him if you get any feeling/indication that he's cheating on you, but until then, just trust that MAYBE he's being faithful.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Hi i am 13 years old and (i am a gurl) i cant find a decent guy, every one i dated just wants me to have sex of do stuff like that to/with him, and when i say i am not ready for that they just leave me or get really mad and act like a two year old, so tell me, why is it that all guys want is to getin your pants? cuz it is really pissing me off

I'm a 16-year old guy, and to be quite honest, I don't think about sex like you're claiming all guys do. For most guys, it is the least of their worries, but the trick is finding them.

Like Laura said, you're only 13 and you have plenty of time to find a guy who isn't interested in just sex, and there are a lot of them out there, like I said. Just be patient =].

I have a lot of guy friends who don't think about sex like that, so maybe it's just the guys you go to school with.

--Jack
(16/m)

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I have verizon and have the texting plan where you get unlimited "IN" messaging, and then 500 others for $10.00 a month... I was just curious, if i recieve PIX messages from someone not in verizon, is this any additional charge or does it just count as one of the 500?

I think I had that plan awhile back, and they do charge extra- it's $0.50 for each PIX message sent AND/OR received.

There are texting plans for close to that amount that give you unlimited texting for anyone, including PIX messages ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

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What should I have for my screen name?

My name is [insert name], I am a girl/guy, X years old, and here are some of my interests:

1. [interest one]
2. [interest two]
3. [interest three]

You could have an inside joke of yours combined with your name somehow.

So one of mine could be:

JKub_eXtreme16

[nickname/inside joke/age]

Take your favorite activity/heritage and add your name to it:

[[[insert my specific ideas here]]]


And add your age, favorite number, or graduation year on the end.

--Jack
(16/m)

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What are some good love songs?

I won't be able to give you enough to fill a CD, but I'll give you some that are definitely worth it ;].

"So Much Love" -The Rocket Summer
"I Need You" -Relient K
"Must Have Done Something Right" -Relient K
"Run To You" -The Rocket Summer
"The Best Thing" -Relient K
"I'm Taking You With Me" -Relient K
"My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend" -Relient K
"Getting Into You" -Relient K
"You'll Always Be My Best Friend" -Relient K
"At Least We Made It This Far" -Relient K
"Nothing Without You" -Relient K
"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" -Relient K

And basically anything by Maroon 5. Those are all love songs. =]


Yes, I realize this is only from three bands, but they are the most amazing ever. I promise you'll love them =]. These are soft rock, generally.



And here are some my friend Laura suggests:

Alive With the Glory of Love: Say Anything.
All That We Needed: Plain White T's.
Around the Clock: The Rocket Summer.
Baby, It's Fact: Hellogoodbye.
The Best Thing: Relient k.
Can't Stop: Maroon 5.
Check Yes Juliet: We the Kings.
Die Alone: Ingrid Michaelson.
Forever: Chris Brown.
Getting Into You: Relient k.
High of 75: Relient k.
I'm Doing Everything (For You): The Rocket Summer.
I Must be Dreaming: The Maine.
Leave The Light On: A Kidnap in Color.
Miserable at Best: Mayday Parade.
My Beautiful Rescue: This Providence.
Run to You: The Rocket Summer.
So Much Love: The Rocket Summer.
Thunder: Boys Like Girls.
Up and Up: Relient k.
We're Going to Be Friends: The White Stripes



--Jack
(16/m)

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i need love songs that are older and would be funny to put on a cd for your friend. like i got you babe by sonny and cher or something like that.

and thennn i need ones that are newer like my boo.

thankss :]

I don't really have older songs because I don't generally listen to them. I do, however have newer songs =].

I won't be able to give you enough to fill a CD, but I'll give you some that are definitely worth it ;].

"So Much Love" -The Rocket Summer
"I Need You" -Relient K
"Must Have Done Something Right" -Relient K
"Run To You" -The Rocket Summer
"The Best Thing" -Relient K
"I'm Taking You With Me" -Relient K
"My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend" -Relient K
"Getting Into You" -Relient K
"You'll Always Be My Best Friend" -Relient K
"At Least We Made It This Far" -Relient K
"Nothing Without You" -Relient K
"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" -Relient K

And basically anything by Maroon 5. Those are all love songs. =]


Yes, I realize this is only from three bands, but they are the most amazing ever. I promise you'll love them =]. These are soft rock, generally.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Hi guys, I just started learning how to drive about 1 month ago. I'm taking it very slow, my dad's teaching me. Thing is, I'm terrified of driving. I've been on the roads already, and I literally have panic attacks every time a cars next to me, or pulls out in front of me, or anything! I just need advice on what to do. As my dad puts it I have 'no self confidence' in my self. He says I drive better than I give myself credit for.

I'm feeling hopeless, like I'll never be able to drive without feeling flustered..or so nervous that I want to cry. Any inspirational driving stories that could help me out? Or anything?! Thank you!

Before you get in the car, just breathe in and out slowly and RELAX. If you don't relax or at least try to, driving will be terrifying. That's what you're doing; you're worrying too much. If you just take it easy and pay attention to what YOU are doing on the road and don't pay attention to other people [to an extent, because obviously you have to be aware of what they are doing], then you will start to do better.

That's really all I can tell you. If someone is tail-gating you, just ignore them. You're new to driving so it's alright if you're going a little slower or just going the speed limit. Just know what you are doing and you should be fine =].

--Jack
(16/m)

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14/f
I have this friend and we're going into high school and she just made out hooked up with whatever you want to call it with this soon to be senior at soccer camp. She's only had 3 boyfriends and only kissed 1 of them. I feel like she's taking it way to far way to fast she only just met the guy! Plus before it was like she never used to talk to guys now she hangs out with her sister's high school friends and likes older guys!
I mean it's fine to like older guys and stuff but i think she's taking it to fast and trusting people more then she should. What if she does something with her body that she doesn't want to do?
I don't know how you can help me but explain to me why she is doing this and am i loosing her as a friend? Is this some kind of cry for help!?

THANKS :)

It very well could be a cry for help. She also may just be going through a phase. Sometimes girls have these really sudden bursts of so-called maturity [though I know there's a better word for this], and they feel like they have to do everything like those who are older. So they have to date older guys, "hook up" with older guys, etc., even when it would seem like they would never have done that.

It could be that she's entering high school, and believe it or not, but a lot of people change in high school. I'm assuming that it's because she feels like she has to grow up to fit in. Let her run her course, but maybe warn her of the dangers of just going crazy and trusting people too much. If she doesn't listen, there's not much more you can do.

--Jack
(16/m)

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This might be a weird question but I need help finding a good username. My name starts with a K and umm...I like the color green, red, and blue, also black. I'm 13 too. I always have a stupid username and I would always want a better one. I want a really nice and cool username. Thanks!

You could have an inside joke of yours combined with your name somehow.

So one of mine could be:

JKub_eXtreme16

[nickname/inside joke/age]

Take your favorite activity/heritage and add your name to it:

RedK[rest of name]
GreenK[rest of name]
Black and Blue K
Colorful K

etc.

And add your age, favorite number, or graduation year on the end.

--Jack
(16/m)

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my bf told me that a girl can "squirt"/"cum" when an orgasm is really good/powerful? he says he wants to make me "squirt". is this possible? and isn't that kind of like a guy.....

Most girls cannot orgasm until they are in their late 20s and early 30s. So doing it at your age is very unlikely, but I guess it could be possible. Though I've never heard of a girl "squirting" like a guy. That's kind of gross.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Hi, I think my bf is ready to have sex. It's like i kinda want to, but i don't think i'm ready. How do i know when I am ready.

Legally, you shouldn't have sex until you've passed the age of consent in your state/country.

Morally, you shouldn't have sex until you're married, or based on when you feel you're morally ready.

Emotionally, you shouldn't have sex until ready to face the consequences of sexual relationships. That is, possible pregnancy, having a child, etc.

Financially, you shouldn't have sex until you're old enough and have enough money to support a possible child.



To me, you shouldn't have sex until you're married, though obviously not everyone lives up to that standard. But definitely DON'T have sex until you're ready, and I mean absolutely ready to face the consequences.

I think if you wait until you're married or at least with the person you will marry and will be with your entire life, it will mean something really special, rather than something to just throw around.

--Jack
(16/m)

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and i'm going into 7th grade. I go to this day camp, and, i am an aide there. There is this guy there, that I think is really hot, and I always catch him staring at me. I know his sister pretty well, but, she is two years older than me, this guy is on my grade, but, doesn't go to my school, and in camp, we have no classes together. I really want to get to know him, though. I think he knows my first name. He has smiled at me a couple times, but, we've never actually talked. how do I get to know him, by letting him take the first move? please help me because he seems like an amazing guy! :] And, if you are gonna say, ohh, well, you need to strike up a converstaion with him, then don't answer this please, because I don't even knoe if he'd want to talk to me, and in 7th grade, girls don't do that, unless they know the kid!

I've either already answered this or seen it somewhere.

The only way you're going to get to know him is to start a conversation with him. And I know that people in 7th grade do that, because when I was in 7th grade, people did that all the time.

www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

1. Always start off with something that others don't use often. Example: You see a girl in a bar and she's sitting with some friends. You walk up to her and say, "I would like to sit with you, but before I sit down, what are you drinking?" "Bud Light (insert drink)? Good choice. I'll be back with 2 Bud Lights (insert drink) and I'll hope that this seat isn't taken when I get back."
2. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
3. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
4. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
5. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
8. Don't forget to have fun with your conversation!


Tips

* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about


Warnings

* Don't be overly invasive with questions.
* Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
* Don't desperately ask personal questions.
* Keep eye-contact
* Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing





Really you could just keep walking by him, but he will NOT know you're interested unless you make a move and TALK to him. Humans were given mouths for a reason =].

--Jack
(16/m)

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