askvickiooos
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I have an exboyfriend that I don't like-like but I do like him as a friend. I want to be his friend but every time I get around him I don't want to talk becuz the last time we did he said why did you break up with me. I ran off so I couldn't answer but I broke up w/ him bcuz I think that i was using him. i haven't had a boyfriend in a while so i wanted one real bad so i went out with him. we hugged but didn't kiss and it still didn't feel right. How do I talk to him without hurting his feelings or making him mad? (sorry its so long)
when he asks.. say it just wasn't right between us. and ask him if you two can try to move past that... it may get alittle dirty but it's a risk you'll have to take.. goodluck and i hope i helped

Q: my belly button is red and has like pus stuff coming out of it sometimes..it scares me..anyone know what this is or how to treat it? ive been putting Lubriderm Aloe Vera Body Lotion on it
umm.. probably a infection.. dont put the lotion on it.. that may actually make it worse or be the problem.. go see a doctor immediately.

Q: My Boyfriend and me just had a little fight , well the head cheerleader heard about it and now she's al over my boyfriend and were not even broken up , well we made up and she still wants him , she like bends down in front of him with her cheerleader clothes on or she trys to sit with us and well she drives me crazy , but the thing is my boyfriend dosnt like her and he's the star Quarterback on the football team, and he tells her to back off , is he the good kind of boyfriend every gurl wants? plz help
haha your guy is the greatest! you shoudlnt have anything to worry about. this cheerleader is a huge slut and hopefulled after a while she'll realize that this is hopeless and try to get with someone else. make sure your boyfriend knwos how mcuh you appreciate what he's doing for you... making him think otherwise may let him think about straying which is never good for you.

Q: i really need help.. so please read this =(
- my boyfriend dumped me in PUBLIC at a football game! but it was ON OUR 2 YEAR ANIVERSARY!!! =( i was so heart broken and i couldnt believe what happen.. and he was tellin me stuff like he will always love me and shit but i was like "how will that help me, know you will always love me but you are with another girl?" it was awful!! so now he is like i hate being single it isnt what i thought blah blah and i still REALLY like him a lot and he likes me but im not so sure we should go out because that was the second time he broke up with me then came crawling back.. what should i do?
he's a jackass and it'll take time but you will eventually get over him.. don't give in.. he's basically just using you because he knows that of all people you are the one he can get to easiest... don't be his fall back plan!

Q: I have had a boyfriend for 2 years on and off, 6 months straight and im starting to like a different guy, we hung out last night and he had his arm around me and stuff and i feel so bad that i did that but now i like both what should i do my boyfriend is the good guy doesnt drink or smoke but the other guy smokes weed and stuff, and my boyfriend is really mad at me right now he says i am a bitch to him but he has no idea about the other guy and the worst thing is they were once best friends, if me and my boyfriend are really broken up should i go 4 the other guy, or not because then he will never get back with me :'( so confused pealse help
your b/f is obviously treating you like crap and im kinda in that problem too.. there's this guy that i like but he's really the opposite of everything i usually go for.. he does drugs too and he's like the total bad boy you dont ever bring home to parents lol.. but what im saying to you is that your b/f isn't working out for you.. its painful to do but the pain he's putting you through (going on and off again and all the emotional distress in between) isn't really worth it.. now if you have faith inyourself enough that you know you can hang out with this other guy and go out with him and not end up smoking and and all that other stuff then go for it.. but if its' too mcuh of a risk to try then don't go out with him.

Q: Okay, so i was going out with this boy for a 2 months. i loved him so much and i still do! but my friends were really mean to him and stuff and so i dumped him because i thought it would just be better for him and everyone else since they like hated him. but then i found out that they didn't really hate him they just like him. But i dumped him before that and then he got really mad at me. Was it right to dump him in the first place? sorry this is long and i hope that made sense!
well technically no.. i mean you should have talked to him first about it and see if it DID bother him about how your freinds were treating him.. but don't grunt over that because it's in the past and there's nothing you can do to change it right? so right now.. tell him that you were just scared he was getting hurt becuse of you.. which would just makes you feel so dreadful and terrible if it was true that you wer hurting him (gotta add in some sweet melo drama to make him feel bad for being angry lol). and ask him if you two can give it another shot and that you still ike him and that you hope that he stil likes you. goodluck

Q: I have two parties to go to on the same day...I don't know which one to go to. I wanna go to both parties but I can't be in two places at once. They're both very good friends and I don't wanna hurt their feelings. Which party should I go to?=(
ouch.. umm flip a coin? lol seriously... either you dont go to either of them just to be fair to your friends or go to half of the time with one and then the other half to another... or go to the one you actually relallllly like truly deeply know deep down inside you wanan go to.. and then just drop by to the other one to make sure your friend knows you still care.

Q: ok well lately ive really had the urge to have sex. im a female and gonna be 15 soon and i know its too early but i dont know what to do. i dont even know how to have sex but ive been having dreams about it and everything. i dont want to be a slut! please help
its natural.. especially near that age when your body begins to really develop and change and hormones and blah blah blah.. just remeber all you've learned in sex ed and remeber that some boys raelly do have cooties are are icky! lol hope i helped.

Q: i guess this might be a stupid question, but something kind of depresses me. my boyfriend asked me last night would it be okay if he spent new years with his guys this year. he said that him and i spent the last 2 new years together and he wants to hang with his friends. ofcourse i said yeah, because im not the controling type. well, even though i said yes, it makes me a little sad knowing that he doesnt want to spend it with me. its like, why cant i chill with his friends too? its not like i never had. do any of you guys think i should tell him how i feel? or do any of you think that im wrong for feeling the way i feel?

thanks for your time.
18/f
its natural for you to feel like that.. i totally get that you're not the controlling type so don't worry. but naturally you'd want your babe to yourself and only yourself. let him have this one night with is friends.. and im bettting you more than anything its not that you're not cool enough to be with his freinds.. its just that he needs some guy time... all guys need that. =] hope i helped

Q: whenever i am around my guy friends they laugh at me cuz im funny sometimes lol and ya but they cant see me as going out with them cuz all my other girl friends have bfs but the guys just see me as a funny friend. what should i do?
stick in there and eventually some of the guys will see you as.. hey its that perfect girl.. not hey it's my sister... yeah it does suck being the best girl freinds or the sister but they'll come around eventually.. hope i helped

Q: I have medium blonde hair and I want to dye the ends purple. Now, I'm worried that this will look bizarre and I'll have to cut it. So, I'm thinking about buying the temporary dye. I have two questions. First, do you think what I want to do with my hair would look weird, or do you think I would be better off putting a few streaks in it? My hair goes about halfway down my back. Second, what is a good type of dye that will wash out in one or two showers? The water at my house is kind of weird (It has a lot of chlorine in it) so I need a dye that won't react with the water and make my hair look weird after I wash the dye out.
um for this play thing in school i had to have pink hair (i was an earthworm in james and the giant peach) and i bought this like.. hairspray stuff instead of temporary hair color.. just because teh lady there said it would take like 3/4 showers to wash out the temp. hairspray.. go to like a small shop and ask them about it (they can really help). but if you just really wanna see a small like 20 second result then use the hairspray idea... if not.. then all i can tell you is ask the people that work there and they can really help you decide if its going to look good and/or what to use

Q: What should i do when i've fallen for the right guy at the wrong time?
wait. waiting this long hasnt hurt you right? =]


besides.. if he is the right guy.. he'll still be there.

Q: Hey everyone...my best friend always seems to not follow through with her plans. Most of the time it's the fault of her parents cuz they can be pretty strict. I know I can't be mad at her for that, but sometimes I feel very frustrated that she can never hang out cuz i wanna spend time with her n stuff. And the times wen she says the can hang out, the next day il ask her if she can still hang and she'll say "maybe" or "idk" and then by the time she figures out she can't hang out it's too late to do n e thing about it. It just annoys me that even when she says she can hang out something always happens, is there anyway I can change this?
sadly you really cant.. i know exactly wat your'e going through.. me and like my best friend of all time have been trying to hang out for like a month now (literally) and it's not working.. i have realllly strict parents too and her parents i sawer dont' like me(lol) but yeah.. you can't really do anything about it.. just wait it out and have to keep in mind that she probaly woudlnt go back on plans if she was a true friend and just when you guys do get to hang out... you make the best of it.. sorry =[

Q: I'm not sure where I should start on this... but I wanna hear what you have to say about this, and well... I'm a 14 year old female and I have this girl and she's my lovely, and I love her oh-so very much... and she loves me back as well... but we live quite a bits away from eachother (like it'd would take 3/4 hours by plane and 6-7 days to drive) and I'm trying not to invole myself with anyone, though I have people around me saying that I should "go out" with this one guy... and I've ignored them so far, but it's just that I feel like I'm wearing down... the more that they tell me I should... I mean I like the guy very much... but not in the same way I love my lovely...
ok so i'm assuming that you're by.. just to clarify hehe i got a ltitle confused.. but anyways umm hmm... well that's the problem with long distance relationship.. the fact that it's so long distance makes a gap that could be easily filled by someone that is a little closer by. the choice is totally up to you, i know how you feel with your friends pressuring you and you kidn start seeing them in a new way. if you really like/love your girl and you think you can make it work with you two then go for it. Stay with her because she makes you happy and makes you feel great (more than this new guy)... but if you think that the long ditance part of things will really affect you guys later and is just goign to wear you down even more then break things off with her and see how things go with this new guy. i can't really give you an opinion about this becuse i realyl dont know how you much you adore your lovely or how great your feelings are for the new guy.. it's up to you. but i hope i kinda helped or made a choice a little more plain for you to see =].

Q: im 13 about to turn 14... im about to have my birthday party in 3 weeks... i have an idea of who to invte but the thing is im thinking of having it at my friends house. im stressed out right now and im really really tired and i have alopt on my mind right now... i never get bored because theres always something i can think about that i have to do. its friday s thats good... i just feel like a stressed out tired teenager and i want to know how to make it where i enjoy everything a little more. i get to sleep at 11 or later and i used to go to sleep at 9:30 im getting used to going to sleep later but the thing is im tired all day... i have no problem waking up or anything. how do i get myself out of this tired stressed out slump?
being a teenager is REALLY tough.. especially now a days with all the drama going on.. for me i listen to music... corny i know but really it works for me.. you just need to find something that relaxes you.. like reading or writing or hanging out with friend.. music.. drawing.. etc.. a hobby i guess you could say. as for your sleeping habits.. umm.. pace yourself.. if you wnt to get back to that 9:30 time then like for 3 nights or so sleep at like 11.. and then 10:30.. you get what i mean? the problem is if you get into the 11 to much then your body will naturally feel like that is your real sleeping time.. and when you sleep at like 9 or something then it'll feel like you slept too much or something.. the basic mesage im sending out is that to get your sleep patterns back will take alot of effort.. becuase for a few days you will feel like crap.. like really tired or exhausted (it's onl b/c your body is trying to get use to what it's being told to do). only sleep in your bed.. dont lay on it or do hmwk on it or something b/c you want your mind to associate your bed to sleeping and nothing more. hope i helped

Q: I've had a big crush on this one guy for a few weeks now. I've gotten to know him, and all of my friends that are in the "gossip network" found out that the guy that I like a lot (let's call him Adam) likes me and asked me out to the dance. So I say yes, and I'm happy for the next few days (and still am happy). So I send along with a note my number and my email. He sends me his. So now my friends in the "gossip network" told me that we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. My best friend *AMY* likes ADAM, is ADAM's friend, and is REALLY mad at me because ADAM asked me to the dance and not her. She keeps calling me a backstabber and a piece of garbage. She's still my friend, but I don't know how she could get all mad at me if HE asked ME out and not her. It's not my fault. How can we get to be friends again?
well even if she doesnt admit it she is mad at herself... she may be thinking that she's just not pretty enough to cut it or that you're just too perfect or w/e.. give her some time and remind her that guys come and go but you and her will always be friends. if it really bothers you then you can tell her that you'll break up or break off away from adam till she is ok with you two being togther (it probably hurts her to see you two together.. it usually does). thats only saying that you can handle that... no one is forcing you to break up with adam.. it's totally up to you.. just talk to your freind and see where it gets you.

Q: iight umm my bf is 15 and i'm 13 and we've been going out for say bout...a month or so,maybe a lil longer.okay and i really dont get to c him often but when we do c each other we make the best of it! and well like each time we c each other we kinda get more involed{ya no grabin and touchin,more kissin,and biting} okay i'm still a virgin and well hes not,but besides that i mean when we could have the chance to have sex,i dont no if i'll be....good or bad or somethin and i mean i no he really shouldnt care if i'm good at it or not but it'll be my first and i no some of the things that'll happen like:u'll bleed,and it'll hurt,and stuff but how much will u bleed? and actually how bad will it hurt!? and also do u think that i should have sex with him the next time we can have the chance?

and if u respond i will rate 5!
no.. please don't have sex. sex should be a wonderful and special thing shared between two people who are really in love (even if its not the first time) and a month isn't enough.. it's ok to get hot and heavy (hell we can't deny that sometimes) but only have sex if YOU are really ready and you are prepared for the mental part of it and just really in love with him.. sex shoudlnt be just a silly thing you do with someone that's hot or makes you horny or whatever.. it should really be special.. and your guy should understand that if he doesnt. i'd ditch him.

Q: I am a 22 female and i have been living with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. We both work ALOT and have stressfull jobs. He is always bringing his work problems home and it is affecting our relationship in many ways, like how we talk (or dont talk) to eachother, putting us both on edge at all times. Dont get me wrong i love him and we did have an awesome relationship till the past few months. he makes me feel unwanted or unattractive now. i try to initiate a sexual relation in MANY MANY different ways and i'm just "denied access" to every part of him. i even try to talk to him about it but he just goes on the defence and doesnt want to talk. getting him to give me a peck on the cheek is like pulling teeth, yet alone actually having sex,which is like once every other month and i'm getting frustrated sexually so bad that our relationship is suffering and i dont know what to do anymore. I dont know how many more nights i can be denied access and roll over frustrated. It's not like we work different schedules we go to work at the same time and get home at the same time and even shower together....but nothing comes of it no pun intended.i just dont know what to do anymore........what advice can u offer me ?
hmm was your guy ever truly extra sexually active in the first place? maybe you should try to talk to him about switching jobs (it might cause a littl eheat and an argument) but just let him know that you are trying really hard to fix this rift that has formed. in many marriages ( i know you're not married yet but just saying) that it usually strats first with sex.. after the sex dies down it gradually affects the mental part of the marriage. reallly talk to him (b/c obviosly giving yourself out isnt working) and don't let him get on the defensive. really make him see this is hurting you alot and hurting you two alot as well. you though, have to be slightly more patient.. (not saying oyu havent been enough! lol) but maybe this job adjustment thing is going to take a while.. hang in there.. if you love the guy then that's all you really can do. hope i helped

Q: my best freind Tina and i have been best freinds sicne we were 4 and we're so close! well she and i became freinds w/ this girl kaylinn and at first her and tina were really close but a couple months later they got into a huge fight and hate eachother...now im caught in the middle...i would pick my bestfrind over kaylinn cuz i've known tina for ever but im not gunna just drop kaylinn. i dont want enemies! anyway i really dont kno what to do so if theres any tips feel free to say them
this happens to me alot.. i'm really diversed when it comes to relationships.. it really sucks sometimes... but back to your dilemma. tell them that you refuse to pick sides and that tina is your best freind but kaylinn is still a friend of yours. tell them both (if it ever comes up.. dont bring it up it usually ends up getting messy) but if it comes up then tell them both that you are going to remain neutral. there is no reason that YOU cannot be friends with BOTH. hope i helped

Q: what is the meaning of court summon and does one necessary need to attend?
well i'm not positive about the specifics but basically it is when you are.. summoned to a court of law. and yes.. most likely it's very necessary to attend. maybe it's for a ticket or someone is sueing you...?

bio
vickiooos
this site has been down for a while but i'm starting it up again. i've been really busy with school work and other activities but now you can ask me questions again.


anyways about myself, i've gone through alot in my life and it's all made me stronger so i can relate to nearly any situation. i really love people. when i get older i do plan on doing something in this sort of field, maybe psychiatry. i'm currently a junior in highschool and i devote all of my time to either my friends, theatre, or school. yeah i'm sort of a nerd. if i can't get on here to reply to your questions and its urgent then you can always feel free to IM me on AIM and i'll try to help you on there. i'm basically always on.

Info
Website:
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
Texas

Occupation:
Student

Age:
16

AIM:
Yahoo:
MSN:
Vickiooos@hotmail.com

Member Since:
September 28, 2004

Answers:
221

Last Update:
July 3, 2006

Visitors:
15442

Main Categories:





Favorite Columnists









layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker