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16/f
hey guys okay so heres my problem...
ive been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months now and we've been doing great and we're so in love..but lately we're been getting in these stupid fights and on the phone its just been quiet like we dont know what to say or talk about anymore...we've talked about it with each other and we know that its going to get better and our feelings for each other are still the same...but i just dont understand why we've fought soooo much and its just been in the past week...we've had like 4 or 5 fights already its happening like everyday or like every other day...we also talked about how its normal for couples to fight and that a relationship cant go on without one...
but i have a feeling its me because hes such a great boyfriend he never does anything wrong so i think somtimes its just me and that i need some kind of atitude ajustment or somthing...
i have no idea but i know i dont want to keep fighting like this...any advice would be helpful thanks so much...
Alright, trust me, everyone fights. Some people are worse then others. But I can already see the major reason why you guys fight. You guys are in what I call the "comfort zone". I am in it too with my bf of almost a year. We hang out all the time, and are so comfortable with eachother, that we can talk to eachother about anything. But when we get on the phone, the conversations are so boring I could literally fall asleep. I miss those late night talks til 2 in the morning too. But I came to realize that we are so comfortable with eachother that we have nothing to talk about. Absolutely nothing. And it can sometimes make you feel like something is wrong in your relationship when you have nothing to talk about, when in reality, you are over analyzing the issue way too much, thus causing you too worry and stress. And what does stress cause unintentionally? Fights. Stupid fights. Fights over the dumbest things start because of stress over other parts in the relationship. The funny thing is that the fight isn't about that problem, it is about something completely unimportant. So stop worrying about the boring convos on the phone and start focusing your energy in bringing the spice back in the relationship. Remember when you guys first met eachother and started dating? You couldn't get enoguh of eachother, the conversations were so long, and so much fun... That is because you were getting to know eachother. Now that you really know eachother, there is not much to talk about anymore... So the best way to break the cycle is to not take for granted the little things in the relationship. Appreciate the things he does for you. That out-of-nowhere amazing conversation might not be on the phone, but could be you and him driving on the way to the movies. It might not compare to those late night talks you once had, but every conversation you have with him is a new outlook on him and the way he is. So when you see him next, suprise him with something you know he loves. I met my bf at a fair, so one day I took him to the fair, bought him his favorite candy bar, and we rode the ferris wheel together, since that was the ride we first kissed on. Doing a romantic gesture like this will make things a little more interesting and will bring up more spontanuous conversations between you two. Best of luck hun, and if you need anything else note me back.
~Sherah
I feel so badly right now.
Okay, this guy and I met on the internet. Hes from PA. Talked for a long time, as friends. And then it just happened, like..idk the romantic feelings came for the both of us. I know internet relationships are extremely lame. so please don't tell me again. But I mean, he gave me emotional support, that i needed. and he's taught me so much about life, and all that jazz.
well we got in a big huge argument last week. about me smoking/doing drugs and his drinking. I think we said a lot of shit we didnt mean to. but we both agreed to stop smoking/ drinking completely, so things should be fine. and for me it feels like things aren't the same. we supposably made up or whatever, so everything should be fine. but something inside of me just, makes me feel bad.
well hes going to bootcamp for 4 months on monday. all we have are letters to talk and stuff. and i dont even know what to do. should i stay with him? because i know if i don't, that'll be really mean of me to do right before he goes to bootcamp (which hes extremely stressed about i think.). or should i just let him go and never talk to him again. he said hes coming to california no matter what after he gets out. so there could be a chance that i talk to him again.
bleh.
theres so much to this whole thing,
its hard to write it all out.
Well I'm assuming you have never met this guy before. And are you guys a couple, as in officially dating? Or are you guys just two friends that really, really have emotional feeling for eachother that could become more? The fact that you guys are making changes in your lives for one another and also making sacrifices in order to continue this relationship shows that you guys have alot of love for eachother. Or atleast a lot of major like going on. If you guys have met before, then you have already gone through the whole awkwardness of meeting someone online for the first time and getting to know him at a way more intimate level... since the Internet is a lot less personal than actually experiencing a relationship in person.
And just for the record, I do not find Internet dating at all lame. Although I have never considered it, my brother is currently dating a girl he met online a year ago, and they have been dating for a couple months and just recently first met after a couple weeks of dating exclusively. And my best friends sister met her fiance online. They dated online, never meeting, for three years, and then finally met.
Online dating is risky, because it is so inexclusive. You don't know if that person is who they say they are, plus you only know how they are when they are talking to you online, not in person, so it is hard to figure out their personality fully. But if you trust this guy and believe he is legit, than the next step is to follow your intuition.
Do you like him alot? Is he worth the risk of continuing a relationship with, and possibly getting hurt or feeling regret afterward? If it is yes, than I suggest continuing your relationship. By the way, if one fight makes you uneasy then you need to consider why it is making you hold a grudge. What things were said that you still can't get over? Why do you feel like that fight has changed your feeling, if it has? Consider these questions and consider your future with this guy. After bootcamp, do you want to meet up with him in California and start a more exclusive relationship? You have time to think about things so take your time. And if you want to continue things, take your time getting to know him. It is a big adjustment from talking to someone online, and then meeting them and being with them all the time in person. So take it slow so that you fully get to know eacother better in person and get to fully take in one another personality quirks.
I hope I helped and I'm sorry my answer was long. If you have any more questions note my inbox.
~Sherah
yesterday my boyfriend told me he was cheating on me which i was very upset about. i'm still with him and he is still cheating on me.he said he has been cheating on me for a year. i love him very much and he said he loved me too. but he said he wasn't going to leave the other girl and he said we could share him. i'm really thinking about breaking up with him. but i love him and i'm not sure what to do. should i break up with him or just keep our relationship still going? please help and thank you so much
:{ + ;]
It is very sad that you had to ask this question, but I understand how love can sometimes blind you from what you really should be doing. that is the bad thing about love. It can make things so hard for you to let go, when sometimes that is the best thing for you to do. He CHEATED ON YOU! And to make it worse, HE WONT STOP! He wants you to "share" him? Listen hun, go up to that stupid mother-fucker and say this to his face:
"Hey (his name), You said you loved me, but I've been thinking, if you really loved me, then why would you need some other girl to keep you company when I'm the one you 'love'? Exactly... I'm glad you finally told me about this other girl, and about how much of an asshole you really have been through this entire relationship. Now that I know how you are, I have realized how much I really don't want to be with you anymore. So fuck off. Do not call me ever again, for anything. You were a waste of my time, and I want nothing to do with you."
And that will be the end of it. It souns harsh but you have the right to tell him off. And DO NOT ever talk to him again. All he will try to do is try to get you back, or try to rub this other girl in your face, which is something you do not deserve! So dump him and be done with him. And start enjoying the single life. It will be hard to get over him and it will be hard to not go back to him, but trust me, once you find the right guy, you will truly realize what an asshole this guy really is. You deserve better. You are young, and can get any guy you want. Tell yourself this and go out there and enjoy life. Best of luck hun.
~Sherah
PS: You can also add a couple punches or slaps in there after you tell him off... lol
How old is way too young to have sex? my bf wants to with me but were only 15!! is that too young please help... if that is too young what should i say to him..
It depends on you and what you are comfortable with. If you and him both feel you are ready then take the proper procautions. Just keep this in mind. If you are ready to have sex, then you are ready to handle the possibilty of becomign pregnant and the possibility of having kids. It is scary to think about but is true. Just make sure to always have protection. Never let him tell you that pull out won't get you pregnant. If he isn't wearing a condom you have a 50/50 chance of becoming pregant. And it is a proven fact that 30% of girls that have unprotected sex, within a year, will be become pregant. So don't take that risk. Be safe. Hope I helped.
~Sherah
is there a chance that i am pregnant if my bf cumed a lil on my viginna and not in it. we did have protected sex except the condom started fallin off so he took it off but he didnt put it in my after that?
Well there could be a slight chance you could be pregnant. It is never smart to pull out or let him cum on your vagina, even if it isn't inside. Sperm dies after 5 seconds of contact with the air, so I wouldn't be too worried. But if you really are scared you are pregnant, call a local Planned Parenthood and ask them how much the Morning After Pill is. Some call the abortion pill, but you really are not aborting anything. Just talk to them about it and find out whether or not your parents will be contacted about you coming in (usuaully it is completely confidential.) Sometimes the Morning After pill costs up to $40 and some places offer it for cheaper and will give you a free pregnancy tests and condoms. Just don't worry about it and be safe. Until you are actually ready to have a child of your own, whenever you have sex, be safe and remind yourself that 15 minutes of pleasure is not worth being 9 months pregnant over not to mention all the costs and troubles afterward. I hope I helped hun. Just don't stress.
~Sherah
Hello, I was just wondering if anyone out there has tried that 6 second ab thing,where you put it on your lap & you push down until it clicks 3 times? Does it work, because I am not really feeling it. Also, I am actually not HUGE, but, of course everything I eat must stay right in my stomach. Any ideas on how to make it flatter by summer?
Well I do yoga about 3 times a week and also a cardio dance DVD. Try buying Denise Austin's Personal Training DVD. It lets you customize your workout so you can pick what you want. She has workouts for your abs, stretching, thighs and legs, upper body, and also cardio. The abs secction is only about 20 minutes and the more determined you are the quicker the results. Plus the DVD comes with a guide on healthy eating. Best of luck! Also try Abs of Steel. All work great as long as you stay focused and work out regularly.
~Sherah
i am planning to go to planned parenthood tomorrow to get some birth control pills and iand an ememergy pill. can someone tell me what to saw or do when i go. i am goin alone and this is my first time.
Well first off, call the Planned Parenthood and ask tell them what you will be coming in for and then ask them what exactly you should bring with me and what exactly is going to happen. You will most likely have to bring some sort of identification and also know your Social Security number. Also, ask the costs of the things you are planning on getting and then make sure that none of this will be brought up with your parents. (Every state is different, but most Planned Parenthoods do not disclose any information to parents or guardians about anything you go there for.) Also be prepared to put some sort of address down when you come in, because they will most likely have you fill out some paperwork beforehand, just like you would at a doctor's office. Best of luck and if you need anymore help, note my inbox.
~Sherah
15/f
I cheated on my boyfriend yesterday, I don't know what made me do it. I was really turned on by my ex boyfriend he was grabbing me and flirting with me and I just grabbed him and kissed him. I stopped and walked away and started crying because I AMMMMM happy with my relationship, crazy happy but I just really felt a strong horneyness
Well I have been through this many times before. I've been both the cheater and the one being cheated on and both SUCK. Well I'll tell you a little about myself so you can compare your situation because they are similar. I was with my (now ex) bf for 7 months, but when he went on a trip to Florida, I cheated on him. Total accident to say the least. The guy was sooo HOT and everytime I was around him I wanted to kiss him so bad. But I held off and kept telling him, "I have a bf!" But one day we were hanging out and he kept flirting and flirting and we ended up kissing. I immediately felt regret and told him we should never talk again. Then I told my bf. He was devastated and told me he was going to kill himself and beat the guy up. I felt bad about what I did so I broke up with him. He was upset about it and kept begging for me back, but I told him I wanted to move on with my life. I realized after I cheated on him that I really didn't love him like I thought. (Plus I heard he had cheated on me at a party... and he didn't just kiss a girl...) Well 3 months after that I met an amazing guy and we fell in love. After a rocky on-and-off 10 months of dating, I cheated on him with the SAME guy I cheated on my last bf with! Sad but true, the attraction between me and this guy was INSANE and I couldn't help myself. We kissed and were all over eachother. I was scared to tell my bf. I LOVE him so much and I couldn't believe I did what I did. I guess I did it to get back at him, because a while before that he had cheated on me. But it was no excuse. I kept it a secret, but he thought something happened because he was hearing rumors at his school that I had cheated on him with this guy (I don't go to his school, but the guy does!) So one day he left with his friends and ended up kissing another girl at a party. She got my number from one of his friends and called me and told me he cheated on me and told her he didn't have a gf. I was heartborken and tried to get him to confess but he wouldn't. He finally fessed up and I opened up and told him what happened with me only a week before. We forgave eachother, moved past it, and things are amazing. Now the moral of the story is that your sins will find you out. Sometimes cheating makes you realize what you really care about. I realized I didn't really love the first guy I dated, and then the second guy I dated I realized I really did love. But I can't tell you to tell your bf. He very well might try to hurt this guy. And if you really love him, then maybe keeping it a secret is the best thing you can do. But if you really love your bf, then you must, MUST leave this ex behind. Stop hanging out with him, because it is obviously leading you into major trouble! It will be hard, because obviously you guys still have feelings for eachother and are really into eachother, but you love your bf. So stick by him. Your ex is not worth your time and might screw up a really good relationship. So steer clear of him and focus on your relationship with your bf. Exes are nothing but trouble, believe me. So forget about him and move on. Flirting may be fun but it is also cheating when it is taken too far. Hopefully this experience will help you learn that cheating isn't the right way to learn how much you care about someone. Honestly, if you can't resist your ex, then stay away from him. Walk with someone else when you go home. And straight up tell him, that what you did was a mistake and that it never should've happened because you love your bf. He will probably be mad, but that way he will understand the boundaries and will understand why you guys should stop doing what you are doing. I hope everything works out for you. Sorry my answer is so long by the way. Sometimes I get carried away lol. Best of luck!
~Sherah
There's this guy, Nick. We just recently began talking a couple weeks ago. We are both on the track team and before we started talking, he was like "Wow, she's [me] hot. If I were [my brothers name] and I lived in (name of hick town) I'd def hit that" [as in incest, cuz thats what hicks do] to another guy. but what he didn't realize was that the person standing like 5 ft from him was my mom, so now it's a big joke with our team. He got my sn and always IMs me now and we talk during practice a lot, too. he put me on his top 8 on myspace! lol. I guess his friend likes me, we went to the movies a couple days ago and all of his friends ask me about him. Nick will ask me questions like "have you ever had a bf? who was your last bf? was it serious? is your brother cool with you having bf's?" [my brother is a senior at our school and we're both younger, so that might be intimidating?] then he's like, "so what do you think of [his friend]?" So that made me think he was just asking me those questions for his friend. I told him I hated when people asked me about him becuase EVERYONE does. He dropped it, but last night he asked me "do you like him, even just a little bit? its none of my business but im curious." He's asked me a couple other times, too. Then he asked me to describe my dream guy. Then on the way to the meet the other day he sat with me on the bus and we gave each other massages and we pretty much just hung out at the meet when we could. He told me my accent on the way I say certain words is cute. But when I was sitting with him he was talking to the person in front of us about how he hung out with this girl, I know they were going out but they broke up and I'm not sure if they're going back out or not. I think they might be because his friend asked him right in front of me if they had sex and he's like, "no, dude it's not about the sex. isn't that right, [my name]?" I didn't say anything. They might be back together. I don't really want to ask because I'm afraid of the answer. And he'll always slip in some comments about other girls and how hot they are and like last night he talked about his ex, when he didn't even have to mention anything about his ex to tell the story, but he did. But he talks about his ex/whatever she is to him now, kinda a lot -- not to me, but when I'm around I hear him talking about her. What should I do? Get over it because they might be back together? Does he like me, or...?
Well I think he likes you, but he really still cares about his ex/gf (whatever she is to him). It does seem like he is asking questions for his friend, but maybe he is asking them for himself too. I think he likes you, but he still really cares about this other girl he dated. And I also think that his friend really likes you too and is too shy to talk to you, so he sets this Nick guy up to doing it. Sadly sometimes guys innocently flirt. He might be doing this. I think he thinks you are cute and maybe kinda likes you, but the fact that he keeps asking you if you like his friend, and talks about this other girl constantly is a sign for you to back off. He is obviously involved with her in some way or another, or he wouldn't talk about her so much. If he got with you right now, when he still has feelings for this girl, then he probably would end up using you as a rebound girl, and who likes that?! Think of him as a friend and nothing more. You obviously like him, but you need to focus on the fact that he is not over this girl. That can spell heartache for you trying to pursue him. Time heals everything, so what he needs is time to get over her and figure out his life. Just be his friend. It's hard... I know, but is much better than being hurt by him. Best of luck and if you need anymore advice, note my inbox.
~Sherah
Ok so heres the problem, me and my boyfriend have had sex and I dont think my hymen broke. I know it didnt because even though we have had sex many times sometimes he goes to far and hits it and it hurts but it wont brake. Now I just dont let him go all the way in because it hurts and theres not point since it wont brake. So what can I do! I heard theres an operation to get rid of it but I am 16 and I dont want my mom to know. Please Help
Well unless you are sure it is your hymen, I wouldn't try getting an operation. If it is causing you to become uncomfortable, then you need to go to a planned parenthood and have one of their doctors check you out. They will be able to tell you what is causing this. Some girls are born without a hymen and some girls have very, very thick hymens that are very painful if they are broken. Everyone one is different. Find the number to a local Planned Parenthood and ask them what days they are open, describe your problem briefly and ask if parental consent is needed to come in and get a check up (it usually is not), and then ask if there any costs to getting a check up with one of the doctors. You usually have to have an ID of some sort and know your Social Security number. After this, find a day that will be easiest for you and get a ride up there. I wouldn't be too worried about this. Best of luck!
~Sherah
my boyfriend just confessed to me another girl kissed him and he didn't stop her. I was really mad at first, but then I realized i have no right to be. You see, we're in a internet relationship and not meeting till late this year. I guess it's understandable that if someone in the flesh comes along and kisses you, you're not going to stop them. I think I would do the same too, admittedly. Everyone I've spoken to though thinks I should be madder than I am, because he cheated on me. I guess i'm a pretty laid-back person. We care about each other a lot, but I understand why he did it. I feel I should be mad at him for cheating though. I still want to go out with him, but everyone is telling me to break up with him. What should I do? And am I being too nice on him?
Thanks.
Well this is a very odd subject. The fact that you two are in an internet relationship does make it sort of hard. Since you are laid back and not easily offended is probably why he actually came out and told you. If you don't feel the need to break up with him then don't. It is your decision, not your friends. You said you even would have done the same thing. I think this is why you aren't so hurt by what he did. Of course you were mad. That's your boyfriend! But not getting so mad about it shows you are mature about handling problems and hard situations. I've been through the same thing. Me and my boyfriend have been through ALOT. We've been together almost a year and this is our third time going out. He broke up with me over another girl, but came back to me, then I dumped him b/c I couldn't trust him, and secretly because I wanted to play the field. But we still couldn't stop seeing eachother. So we got back together. Over Spring Break I cheated on him and never told him. I felt he would flip out and we would break up again (I told him this was the last chance we should give eachother to make this work.) Well two weeks after that he blew me off to go with his friends to a "skating park" but I knew he was lying. The next day a girl called my phone saying he cheated on me with her at a party the night before. I didn't want to believe it at first b/c he hardly ever drinks or parties, but even his friends called my phone and told him he should stop lying and tell me the truth. He started crying and told me that the girl kissed him and he didn't stop her and they made out. I was so angry but I had no right to be b/c I did the same thing! So I told him what happened to me and he was heart broken. We got even closer after that and I told him that we should never lie to eachother and there is to be NO MORE cheating. Talking calmly about it is so much better than yelling. And we are doing better than ever. So I think you should follow your heart. You know he cares about you, and that you care about him, so nothing else should matter. Just have a huge talk with him, and make it clear to him that you are NOT dismissing what he did. You think it was very wrong and you are mad about it, but you realize why he did it. And also let him know that if you two are going to work out, that he needs to be loyal, as will you. But tell him you were glad that he told you. Letting him know you appreciate his honesty will make him want to be more open and honest with you in the future. Honesty is the best policy, so always be open with your feelings. Let him know you want to make this work. Follow your heart. It is hard not to listen to what others want you to do, but if you really want to be with him, then your opinion out-weighs everyone else. Listen to your heart and see where it guides you. If you need anymore help on this note my inbox. I will love to help. Best of luck!
~Sherah
Me and my boyfriend are in love, and we wanted to get married. Problem? his mom. she told him he cannot marry me. thing is she never met me, and he sez he cant go against his mom. this is a culture thing, since me and him are both middle eastern (im actually half, which is a problem to his mother). I feel torn between leaving him and staying with someone i really care about.
Any Advice?
Well depending on your age, this shouldn't be much of a problem. If you are younger than 18 then his mom kinda has a voice in the matter. You should continue dating him of course, and put the thought of marriage on the back burner for right now. You and him are happy right now and love eachother, so don't stress the relationship out with talks of marriage. If it is meant to be then it will happen. About his mother: Talk to her. You need to meet her. That could change her view of you. If you and him really wanted to get married, then you would need to meet his parents anyway. So meet her now and get to know her. Maybe after she gets to know you, then maybe she might lighten up about the whole marriage thing. But until then, just be happy with him, without the thought of marriage in the mix. Only time will tell, so be patient. Best of luck and if you need anymore advice, just note my inbox.
~Sherah
Im about to go out and by the John Freida glaze to make my hair shiny and hopefully a bit darker, has anyone tried it and is it worth it
thanks
Well I've used it and it is a good product, but just remember not to overdo the product. Less is more. Only one or two squirts should do well. Never apply too much or your hair will look and feel greasy. And there is nothing good looking about that! Also try Redken Heat Tamer Glaze. It is sold at salons everywhere. You apply one or two squirts in the palm of your hand and then rub your hands together. Then evenly shake your hands quickly through your hair from roots to end while your hair is still really wet. Then wash off your hands and blow dry your hair. Not only will your hair look and feel more soft, but it will also be extremely shiny. Plus it gets rid of those nasty fly-aways that tend to happen after way too much blow drying and curling. Another way to add more shine is to spray your hair from root to end with a shine spray, like Got2B Shine Spray. You can buy it at drugstores anywhere and it is really inexpensive. Spray it all over your hair when it is wet and then dry it. If you want more shine after that, then lightly spritz the shine spray (about 6 inches away). Just don't over do it, because you will end up will greasy looking hair. Hope I helped.
~Sherah
okay i recently died my hair a medium brown. what is the best casual makeup to go with blue eyes and brown hair?
I have brown hair and blueish-green eyes. I usually go for a brown, bronze, or silver-white shade of eyeshadow. I use a pencil cream shadow, because it stays on all day, and goes on alot easier than powder eyeshadow. I do not suggest wild colors like bright blue, turquoise, or purple for eyeshadow and definently not blue mascara! You want something that compliments your eyes. Since you have blue eyes, you should play them up with subtle browns and silvers, not bright pastels which brings attention to your eyeshadow, not your eyes. Use bright shadows at night to spice up a look. Like if you are wearing a neon purple shirt out tonight, then go for a purple colored eyeshadow to brighten up your night-time look. But not for an everyday look. For mascara I suggest going for black or dark brown. This will make your eye color pop out. And also don't forget about the eyeliner. Dark black or brown will work great with your eyes too. For mascara I suggest Maybelline Blackest of Black Mascara with a curved brush, for eyeliner go for Revlon 16-Hour Stay Waterproof, Smudgeproof eyeliner in Ivory, and for eyeshadow I suggest Maybelline Cool Effects Shadow Liner in Cocoa Brown or Ice White. Good luck exploring your options. Just remember... subtle is always better than over doing your makeup. You want someone to look at you for how beautiful YOU are, not how much makeup you put on.
~Sherah
(17 f)Is there anything you would reccomend for an at-home waxing type thing for like ALL (as in private area too) areas of the body??
Well it is alot cheaper than actually going to a place and professionally getting it done. I have used an at-home kit. It is called Jolen. It is easy to use and really not all that painful. You can use it everywhere and it works for about 6 to 8 weeks.
Ok so I'm a girl of East Indian decent and I have dark dark brown hair with red chunky streaks (they've faded to a coppery red) and these look nice on me but they -totally- clash with my prom dress which is a dusty rose pink and I'm not willing to screw that up.
My friend is also Indian and she got like blonde streaks and it ended up looking really washed out.
I figured blonde is the only colour I can go with my dress because I def. want my highlights to stand out a bit but I don't want my colour looking beige.
Any suggestions on what colour I should do? If I get my hair dyed honey or something, the pigmentation might make it copper...?
I don't know if going the route of getting your hair permanately dyed is smart. It is just for prom. So if I were you, I would just use some sort of wash out dye for your hair. And pink would be really cute. Afterwards, if you want to try a different color in your hair go to a hair salon. It is hard to tell what color your hair will take. So to avoid the wrong hair color, take it to the professionals. Best of luck!
~Sherah
Ok im 13 years old and ive had sex kinda a lot. I've always been somone to go out with guys and i love having boyfriends. Recently when i've asked a guy to pull and stuff they say we're not gonna go any further than this coz ure way too controlling!!????
i thought well those guys are wierd then another guy i asked out said yes but i have to try not to be so outgoing the whole time. This is just my personality and all the boys are being really mean i cant help being outgoing can i???
help me please how do i change when i dont want to!!!!!
p.s reply to sarahg399@hotmail.com
thanks so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well I have to say that you need to be completely honest to yourself first. What you are doing with these guys is hurting you. You need to care about yourself more to be able to say no to these guys and what they are asking of you. What I suggest you do is to stop dating guys for a while and go on a self-discovery. Find out what you really like about guys and what is really important to you when it comes to a real relationship. Finding out your likes and dislikes helps you set up boundaries and guidlines so you don't let every guy date you and do what THEY want. The guys that tell you no are the guys that actually don't want to take it too far. The guys that take you and your body for granted are the ones you should look out for. You don't love these guys. What you love is the attention they are giving you. You like being cared about, looked at, and the fact that guys want to have sex with you. But in reality that is all they come to you for. They don't really care about you. They may say it, but then why do they act mean to you afterwards. It's not because they are mad at you, it's because they only look at you as a girl to go after when they want what they want. You don't respect yourself enough and your body enough. You are only 13 and are way to young to be abusing your body and mind this way. What if a guy got you pregnant when you were being too "outgoing"? You would be thirteen, pregnant, no boyfriend, and having to be a parent at only 13 or 14. That is a harsh reality that you need to grasp. Plus you are ruining your reputation. It seems that more now-a-days, girls your age are going after older guys, having sex, and drinking and doing drugs in order to feel older and get attention. It is not healthy and will catch up to you in the worst way hun. I'm not trying to sound like your mom or some teacher. I was your age once, and I had friends that did the same things you did. I was not like them and did not take that path. But where they ended up was not pretty. One of my friends ended up pregnant. She is 16 and is already about to have her second child. She has no boyfriend, dropped out of school, and has to work all the time to pay for her children. She doesn't even know who the father is of either of her kids! And my other friend is 18 and is addicted to all sorts of drugs, and has a boyfriend that abuses her all the time. It's not a pretty site. She allowed guys to boss her around and do what they wanted to do. She thought they cared about her but they don't. They only saw her as someone to have sex with and take care of their needs, not hers. Please don't let this happen to you. You need to respect yourself. I suggest you start keeping a diary and write down your feelings. If your friends are acting the way you are, then either find new ones, or try to get your friends to stop their risky behavior too before it is too late. Writing a diary will help you open up and discover yourself. Sounds weird, but it is true. Write your feelings, lyrics to songs you relate to, quotes and poems, and also write down what you like about guys. And write down what you want guys to like about you. Write down what you like about yourself and what you don't like about yourself. Next, stop having sex with guys. You do not need to be that intimate with a guy to feel like he likes you. Wait to have a boyfriend. If any guy every pressures you to have sex again, no matter how strong the urge, say no and drop him. Don't talk to him anymore. The right guy will come along that will take you out, kiss you, hug you, listen to your problems and actually be a real boyfriend for you. Until then, wait. Be young and enjoy life. Risky lifestyles only turn out bad in the end. You obviously know your lifestyle is not good, that is why you are trying to stop. So stay focused and if you ever, EVER need any more advice, note my inbox anytime. I'll email you this advice too, and if you need more help you can just email me back too. Take care and best of luck!
~Sherah
There is this girl at my school that knows my boyfriend somehow and i think she likes him. He deosn't even know her that well but whatevr. Anywho she said she is going to call my boyfriend and tell him I'm cheating on him. well the thing is i'm not and i would never do that to him bcuz i love him so much. Idk who he will belive tho!!! wut can i do to stop her. and if she does tell him how will i tell him that i didn't cheat on him? I'll rate!!!!
Well go up to her the next day at school, tap her on the shoulder, and when she turns around hit her in the face! lol... jk. Well you definently need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him what is going on. Tell him that she confronted you at school and told you that she was going to call him and tell him all this bullshit to try and break you guys up. If you feel like it, also confront her about it and tell her that she really needs to stop being manipulative and to stop trying to steal your boyfriend because it is not going to work. Tell her to back off and stop calling your boyfriend. Let her know there will be consequences to her actions if she doesn't. Don't threaten her of course, but make it clear to her that you are not going to back down. And if possible, find some dirt on the girl. I'm sure there is something you could find out about her that she doesn't want people to know. If she is going to be mean, then be mean right back. Need anymore advice then note back my inbox. Best of luck!
~Sherah
PS) How did she get your boyfriend's number in the first place? And when did she go up and tell you her scheme?
Well the happiest thing happened to me... I found the love of my life... I love his family his family loves me vise versa... But the only problem is he lives next door... Ya some people are like thats the tightest thing ever... But it is a hassle sometimes when i wanna go out with the girls and its like i have 2 sets of parents... One weekend i went to a party with my friends and i came home at 12:30 and his parents were all pissed cause he wasnt with me... I dunno... But i love him though... And his parents think we are getting married... They told him to wait till after graduation to get married and we have been going out for like 2 months? that kinda creeps me out... What should i do??
Well only after 2 months of dating my bf, his parents and the whole rest of his huge family were calling me their daughter-in-law and that they can't wait til me and him get married and have kids. At first it was very overbearing hearing that when I had only been dating their son for about 3 months, but after a while I kinda felt comfort in hearing that. I really liked his family alot and they all treated me like their daughter, which was nice, since me and my mom don't really agree on much (she was the good kid in highschool, and I was the one going to parties like his parents were when they were my age). Take it as a compliment that they like you that much that they could picture you guys being married. My bf actually asked me after 6 months to marry him and I told him straight up that I didn't think that was a smart idea, given we had only been dating 6 months, and that it would probably be best to wait years from now and see where our lives take us. Marriage is a big deal. And make this clear to him. It's a fact that only around 50% of marriages now-a-days actually last without divorce. That is horrible. So let him know that right now you and him are young and just started dating and shouldn't be thinking that serious just yet. Tell him that when you do want to get married you want to make sure it isn't rushed and is the right time. Tell him that when you say your marriage vows that you really want to stay married for the rest of your life, til death do you part. Marriage is a big deal and a life long commitment so tell him how you feel. Just don't be too harsh about it. He obviously loves you, and maybe just sees you as being his wife someday in the far future. It's not like he is buying a ring this very moment. Now that would be kinda creepy. lol... Hope I helped.
~Sherah
hey...so i met this chick (sherah) liek a year or so ago...and shes really awesome and hot but she lives in indiana and i live allll the way out in california...we used to talk alot but not so much nemore...what am i supposed to do to get her to come out here to the oc over summer???? lol =D
OMG... Angelo! Yeah, I was gonna say that I missed talking to you! I didn't know you were on this site... Well about the whole summer thing... I'm working alot, so I will have a lot of money to go on a road trip. And of course I'd love to go to the OC. Hit me up on Bolt sometime or on aim. Miss ya!
~Sherah
PS) What's your name on here? Do you even give advice? lol