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Boys being dicks
Ok im 13 years old and ive had sex kinda a lot. I've always been somone to go out with guys and i love having boyfriends. Recently when i've asked a guy to pull and stuff they say we're not gonna go any further than this coz ure way too controlling!!????
i thought well those guys are wierd then another guy i asked out said yes but i have to try not to be so outgoing the whole time. This is just my personality and all the boys are being really mean i cant help being outgoing can i???
help me please how do i change when i dont want to!!!!!
p.s reply to sarahg399@hotmail.com
thanks so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well I have to say that you need to be completely honest to yourself first. What you are doing with these guys is hurting you. You need to care about yourself more to be able to say no to these guys and what they are asking of you. What I suggest you do is to stop dating guys for a while and go on a self-discovery. Find out what you really like about guys and what is really important to you when it comes to a real relationship. Finding out your likes and dislikes helps you set up boundaries and guidlines so you don't let every guy date you and do what THEY want. The guys that tell you no are the guys that actually don't want to take it too far. The guys that take you and your body for granted are the ones you should look out for. You don't love these guys. What you love is the attention they are giving you. You like being cared about, looked at, and the fact that guys want to have sex with you. But in reality that is all they come to you for. They don't really care about you. They may say it, but then why do they act mean to you afterwards. It's not because they are mad at you, it's because they only look at you as a girl to go after when they want what they want. You don't respect yourself enough and your body enough. You are only 13 and are way to young to be abusing your body and mind this way. What if a guy got you pregnant when you were being too "outgoing"? You would be thirteen, pregnant, no boyfriend, and having to be a parent at only 13 or 14. That is a harsh reality that you need to grasp. Plus you are ruining your reputation. It seems that more now-a-days, girls your age are going after older guys, having sex, and drinking and doing drugs in order to feel older and get attention. It is not healthy and will catch up to you in the worst way hun. I'm not trying to sound like your mom or some teacher. I was your age once, and I had friends that did the same things you did. I was not like them and did not take that path. But where they ended up was not pretty. One of my friends ended up pregnant. She is 16 and is already about to have her second child. She has no boyfriend, dropped out of school, and has to work all the time to pay for her children. She doesn't even know who the father is of either of her kids! And my other friend is 18 and is addicted to all sorts of drugs, and has a boyfriend that abuses her all the time. It's not a pretty site. She allowed guys to boss her around and do what they wanted to do. She thought they cared about her but they don't. They only saw her as someone to have sex with and take care of their needs, not hers. Please don't let this happen to you. You need to respect yourself. I suggest you start keeping a diary and write down your feelings. If your friends are acting the way you are, then either find new ones, or try to get your friends to stop their risky behavior too before it is too late. Writing a diary will help you open up and discover yourself. Sounds weird, but it is true. Write your feelings, lyrics to songs you relate to, quotes and poems, and also write down what you like about guys. And write down what you want guys to like about you. Write down what you like about yourself and what you don't like about yourself. Next, stop having sex with guys. You do not need to be that intimate with a guy to feel like he likes you. Wait to have a boyfriend. If any guy every pressures you to have sex again, no matter how strong the urge, say no and drop him. Don't talk to him anymore. The right guy will come along that will take you out, kiss you, hug you, listen to your problems and actually be a real boyfriend for you. Until then, wait. Be young and enjoy life. Risky lifestyles only turn out bad in the end. You obviously know your lifestyle is not good, that is why you are trying to stop. So stay focused and if you ever, EVER need any more advice, note my inbox anytime. I'll email you this advice too, and if you need more help you can just email me back too. Take care and best of luck!
~Sherah
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