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fights with my boyfriend
16/f
hey guys okay so heres my problem...
ive been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months now and we've been doing great and we're so in love..but lately we're been getting in these stupid fights and on the phone its just been quiet like we dont know what to say or talk about anymore...we've talked about it with each other and we know that its going to get better and our feelings for each other are still the same...but i just dont understand why we've fought soooo much and its just been in the past week...we've had like 4 or 5 fights already its happening like everyday or like every other day...we also talked about how its normal for couples to fight and that a relationship cant go on without one...
but i have a feeling its me because hes such a great boyfriend he never does anything wrong so i think somtimes its just me and that i need some kind of atitude ajustment or somthing...
i have no idea but i know i dont want to keep fighting like this...any advice would be helpful thanks so much...
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Alright, trust me, everyone fights. Some people are worse then others. But I can already see the major reason why you guys fight. You guys are in what I call the "comfort zone". I am in it too with my bf of almost a year. We hang out all the time, and are so comfortable with eachother, that we can talk to eachother about anything. But when we get on the phone, the conversations are so boring I could literally fall asleep. I miss those late night talks til 2 in the morning too. But I came to realize that we are so comfortable with eachother that we have nothing to talk about. Absolutely nothing. And it can sometimes make you feel like something is wrong in your relationship when you have nothing to talk about, when in reality, you are over analyzing the issue way too much, thus causing you too worry and stress. And what does stress cause unintentionally? Fights. Stupid fights. Fights over the dumbest things start because of stress over other parts in the relationship. The funny thing is that the fight isn't about that problem, it is about something completely unimportant. So stop worrying about the boring convos on the phone and start focusing your energy in bringing the spice back in the relationship. Remember when you guys first met eachother and started dating? You couldn't get enoguh of eachother, the conversations were so long, and so much fun... That is because you were getting to know eachother. Now that you really know eachother, there is not much to talk about anymore... So the best way to break the cycle is to not take for granted the little things in the relationship. Appreciate the things he does for you. That out-of-nowhere amazing conversation might not be on the phone, but could be you and him driving on the way to the movies. It might not compare to those late night talks you once had, but every conversation you have with him is a new outlook on him and the way he is. So when you see him next, suprise him with something you know he loves. I met my bf at a fair, so one day I took him to the fair, bought him his favorite candy bar, and we rode the ferris wheel together, since that was the ride we first kissed on. Doing a romantic gesture like this will make things a little more interesting and will bring up more spontanuous conversations between you two. Best of luck hun, and if you need anything else note me back.
~Sherah
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Ok you sound just like i did when i was in a long term relationship with my ex. We just recently broke up and i am dealing with that. But besides that...Sometimes i used to enjoy starting a fight/argument with him for no reason and i didnt know why i did either. You might just be like i was but there is nothing wrong with that just try to realize your doing it when you start to and then look at him and say i am srry and i love you and he will feel so much better and you will too.
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Ok i know my answer was pretty shitty. I think you and him should talk. If that doesnt work then, well my boyfriend says you guys should go to therapy. but thats his opinion. Ok
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Hey there,
You're right fighting is normal. The question is what are fighting about, has something happened recently in either of your lives i.e. problems with parents, friends, school? Also lets be real of course he does stuff wrong, you are looking at him now through rose coloured glasses because if he is human (he is right?) then he has flaws the important thing in any relationship is not to date the "perfect" guy but to to love the guy despite his flaws.
As for the lack of things to talk about, maybe you are spending too much time together and then you each know about what each other did throughout the day, set aside 2 days a week where you don't see each other you should notice the change in the phone conversations soon after also if you are spending alot of time together that could contribute to the fighting as you are bound to get on each others nerves consiously or unconsiously.
Hope this helps, feel free to to ask for clarification if need be.
Sassysara
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