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May 13, 2008

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I am a 29/f that loves to listen and try to help out. I have always been the one people go to for advice.

I will tell you how I feel about it. If you don't like my answer, I'm sorry. However, usually what I say is true, people just can't handle the truth.

advice

So my boyfriend and i started have sex a few months ago, and we have only done it 4 times. The first time, it hurt bad enough that we had to stop. The second and third didnt hurt as bad, but it didnt feel GREAT. Then the last time, it hurt REAllY bad again... there was about a 2-4 week period in between all these encounters. So im guessing he got bigger..but when will it feel good?

It's very doubtful that he got bigger. My assumption would be that you are just not comfortable with sex enough to relax, which is a major part of enjoying it. In time, the more comfortable you become, the better it will feel. It takes time. Please, practice safe sex.

Okay i was on a website that needed java i dont know where to download it from and the last time someone gave me a wrong website. Uhm i dont want any computer worms so...im having trouble.
Thanks in advance.

http://java.sun.com/

In the newer episodes of Zoey 101, I didn't see Chase, but I saw some new guy. (I also saw him in the beginning credits..) Well I never saw the episode when Zoey came back from that other boarding school, and then Chase left or something. Where did Chase go? What happened? I remember seeing the commercial but I never saw that episode. Also, is that other guy a replacement for Chase now? Meaning Chase will never come back? If anyone could give me the latest info then that would be great!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoey_101
According to this, Chase convinced his parents to send him to the same boarding school in London that Zoey was going to. However, she found out that Chase loves her and transferred back to PCA. Now, Chase is in London for at least one semester and Zoey is in PCA. They tried to have a webcam romance but hasn't worked out as well. The new guy is the new roommate and Zoey and him started a fling. This is where it left off.

Ok, I don't know if I am depressed or not...
I am tiredd all the timee
I eat all the time, but never put on weight
And I have periods of eating all the time, and then not eating like at all
I have two horses, and they used to be everything, and now they aren't
I have cut myself before, and think about it all the time, but haven't in about 5 months
I have had many suicidal thoughts...and think about it every day, almost like planning
This is lamee but, I went online and took about 6-7 tests, and they all said that I have moderate to sever depression
And I don't know...
It might also help to know that I don't talk about my feelings, keeping them all inside.

All advice is welcomed =]

I would suggest seeing a doctor about your problem. If you have cut in the past and feel the tendency to do it again, you need to seek medical attention asap. I wouldn't let another day go by where you are jeopardizing your own future.

so im 16 now but way back in the day when i was a bad kid, i used to steal and i got caught when i was 12. so i think i got arrested.. i was put in handcuffs and got driven to the police station and was put in a cell.. i also had to take those pictures of your face and the side. so i had to go to court and everything and i think they told me that in about a year or 2 i could call in and clear my record but i just did and they said i had to go through all these steps. but anyways. today i went to fill out a job application and i said no of ever being convicted. so basically my question is: is stealing considered conviction or no?

There are several factors involved. First, where do you live? If you live in the states, you have to think if it was a misdemeanor or a felony. This will depend on what you were stealing. If you steal something that is small and doesn't equal a greater number of monetary value, then it is not cosidered a felony. Cars are considered grand theft, and it, I believe, is a felony. Also, if you live in Canada, you have to report any convictions you have had and you will have to get pardoned before you can work at all. I would check with the local police station and ask them what your charge consisted of and if you need a pardon to go to work.

I have sorta a problem. I'm 16 male, and my best friend thinks I stalk their myspace. Everyday when I go on, i visit his myspace; I'm actually kinda jealous so I look at the comments that girls post and just read them. he confronted me about it, because he has a tracker.I said to him " no I was just bored and made a lame exuse" I mean Im not a stalker, I guess Im just jealous. So now he deleted me off of myspace and didnt really say anything to me at school today. What can I do? I see him tomorow for a study hall where we can talk. Uhm, I also have an issue where he wants to come over my house, but im kinda ambarrased to show him it because I dont have what he has, and im afriad he'll laugh or make fun of me. Wev'e known each other for almost 3 years. I need help!!

Thanks,
NY152

In all honesty, this is a very strange scenario. I would suggest not bringing it up to him about the myspace problem. Maybe, if you don't show any concerns, he won't think anything of it, and possibly be remorseful. If he does bring it up, tell him that's what you do on your myspace, you check everyone's page out to see how their day went, or whatever.

The problem with you not wanting him to come over, that's just straight petty (not for you but him). If he thinks that he is better than you and you have nothing to provide him as a friend because of what you can or the lack of what you can't give him, he's not worth being a friend. Keep in mind, not everyone is cut from the same mold. You need to be proud to be who you are. Remember there are people out there who don't have the neccesities in life to get by, and we get to have a least some luxuries.

True friends, will stick by you no matter what, and will stay friends with you because of your differences, not inspite of them.

I started using yasmin 8 months ago n i noticed some changes in myself so i stopped takin it, and i havent come on since n that was 2 months ago, im definatly not pregnant, Should i go the doctors or just wait a bit longer?. Or is it because i have put on weight recently could this be the reason why?

In all honesty, I would suggest going to the doctor. Any time you stop a drug treatment, you need to seek medical advice. It does not sound usual to not get your periods for two months.

So Here's the thing. I'm working on a research project for school. My topic is Alice Walker, the women who wrote 'The Color Purple'. I need to find what her impact on society was.. I've tryed google and all that good stuff. It's not the answer. Does anyone know some good online 'cite-able' sources I can use?
I really, really need help with this one. The project is due soon.
Please?
I'll rate you well.
Thanks

I am not sure if your school allows Wikipedia as a credible source (my university does not) but here is a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Walker
Sources from about.com usually are credible
http://womenshistory.about.com/od/alicewalker/a/alice_walker.htm
a library reference
http://www.library.csi.cuny.edu/dept/history/lavender/walker.html
encyclopedia search
http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/nge/Article.jsp?id=h-998
another encyclopedia site
http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-9002503/Alice-Walker
any .edu link is credible source (this also has clickable links)
http://www.accd.edu/sac/English/bailey/walkeral.htm
I hope some of these will work for you. Good Luck!

ok, so a friend of mine has this 30 year old cousin and he keeps saying he loves her and she loves him to, problem is, she's in love with him. she's like 16 so they're like 15 yrs apart. He keeps patting her on the hip and butt and it doesn't really make her uncomfortable. Anyway, when she told me she's in love with him I was shocked. She knows it's wrong but doesn't know what 2 do. To make things more complicated, she lives in a home with a dad who is always blaming her for things and stuff and a mom who doesn't do anything about it. She would leave but she's got no where 2 go. She told her cousin and he said they would get a house 2gether in a while. She doesn't know what 2 do. She isn't sure if she should stay away from him which she can't seem 2 do anyway or tell him how she feels. any answer would b helpful.

Did you actually say this was her cousin? If so, that in and of itself makes illegal. Not to mention the age difference could get him into trouble as well. I would just point out to her that if they were to get caught, he could go to jail for two different offenses. Let her know that even though she likes him, it's to risky to actually go through with this. Also, remind her that in a few years, when she is more mature and her senses have kicked in fully, would she really want to be in a relationship with a 15 year older cousin of hers? I think not.

I posted a question a while ago about telling my parents I want to move back to England to finish school when I'm 17 and how I should tell them..

Well, I decided to type everything out just to see how it sounded and so I didn't miss anything out and I had the idea of printing a copy of this one for each of my parents and sitting down with them, explaining the situation to them but then saying ''The details are on the paper I've given you'' and letting them read through the thorough explanation while I'm there..

I thought this way, they couldn't interrupt me or cut me short and there's no way I'll get nervous and forget anything or get too emotional and start crying halfway through my explination.

I've included all the details from prices to schools to transport to areas and at the end there's a little emotional plea.
Is this or is this not a good idea? Should I tell them straight up and risk missing bits out or being interrupted or just give them the paper and then let them ask the questions?
HELP!

Hi hun, me again. I am really glad you decided to talk to them. I think this approach is an excellent idea. It shows that you have thought this out completely and have gone to the trouble of getting all the information needed. I would like to submit one thing to you that I have learned in my communications class, always expect a counter argument and add to your work stating things you know could be brought up to null your work. This way, you have covered all aspects and can expect a better response. I hope this helps, and good luck. I hope soon you will be in England chasing your dreams!!:D

We have three computers in my house, all of which are in the same room. I find myself becoming distracted because they are in the basement where my sister plays with her friends and watches movies. I can never get any work done because I'm always focused on something else. I've decided I'm going to save money for a laptop, but I know absolutely nothing about what kind I should get. I'm really into photography and music, and I don't play games or anything. I can't afford a mac notebook or anything, but I'd be willing to pay a reasonable amount for a decent one. Any ideas of what would be good for me? Im 16/f btw.

In all honesty, Wal-Mart has a pretty descent one. I paid around 600 for mine and it works great. I would also like to point out that you have to get the software to go along with what you are wanting to do.

Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with an ex, when there is a child involved?

I am assuming you are wondering how to handle the ex and the new, with the children? The ex is easy, don't give him any information that is personal between you and the new. The new needs to know that communication happens between the ex and the current. The children are going to be a bit tough. They will get the feeling of ill will towards the ex and get defensive. I would suggest making sure to seperate the difference between ex and new, and that the new is not their official parent, but they are still a respectable person and you expect them to treat them with such.

about a month and a half ago i got my first pap smear. my gyno called me with the results and said it was abnormal. i went in to get a coloposy. is it very likely that i have hpv or cervial cancer? is this anything to worry about.?

I know a lot on this subject, however, it is very personal topic, and I would not like to discuss it on here in front of everyone. So, if you could e-mail me at abusby11@cox.net, I can let you know some information. Thanks.

help!! i sleep alot!

i mean i could sleep from 10 pm to 2 pm the next day! and i force myself to get up! and it takes 2 hours for me to really "wake up"... when i sleep less i can't focus or study or anything!

and i am having troubles studying! i can't study i have been slacking so much! i had the highest grades ever but suddenly i am barely getting passing grades! what is happening to me! i need energy to focus and study i am so worried! please please please someone help! i am going to a counselor and my life is average. we moved houses and i love my new house it's been 3 years! so i dont' think its the move....pleaseee help this will so screw my future! i want my study habits back! :'(

Did you know the more you sleep, the more tired you are? The average person needs around 8 hours of sleep a night. I would just make sure you set your alarm to go off 8 hours after you have gone to bed. Then, get up and go for a walk outside. The air and brisk walking will make your endorphines kick in to give you that boost you need to wake up. Good Luck!!

Just under 6 months ago a friend of mine needed a place to stay after breaking up with a live in boyfriend. I offered my home and she moved in. I had just purchased my first home and had bitten off a little more than I could chew in the amount of money the new home cost me in mortgage payments and other associated expenses. After my friend had been there for 3 weeks, I determined that we could reasonably get along as roommates and asked her if she wanted to make the situation more permanent and she agreed to pay one third of my home expenses. I thought I had found the perfect solution to my money problems as her rent would allow me to make my payments without problem and even give me a little extra to pay off some credit card bills. Unfortunately that was not to be the case. Shortly after she moved in, she lost both her full time job and her part time job and even though she found another full time job right away, she had money issues in that her wages were garnished for back child support and other expenses. Even though she had agreed to pay me a certain amount every month, this money never materialized and things got to the point where I had to beg her for money. I realize that she has money problems and other than the money situation she makes a great roommate, but I am hurting financially and find myself not only covering all of the bills, but also paying for the majority of the groceries and even giving her money for essentials such as gas to get by. I want to be a good friend and help her through her problems but am afraid that if I continue like this much further that I may lose the ability to pay my own bills which could jeopardize my keeping my new home. I am on medicaton for depression and other medical problems and have always had a problem with confrontation and feel guilty at the prospect of asking her to move out when I know she has nowhere to go. How do I stand up for myself without totally ruining our friendship and putting her in an even worse situation at the possibility of being homeless?

Oh, boy. I can actually top this one, on the same level. Try having the roommate be your brother. Yikes.

Ok, so he wasn't paying us the rent, which wasn't bad, we were charging $300 a month and that was for all of his expenses (other than gas and nictotine). We even built him his own room in this house. So, he was making out like a bandit. However, he was eating everything in our house, and not leaving my kids any food for after school snacks and weekend food. In essence, we were actually using all the money he gave us and some of our own just to cover what he was using.

My husband is on disability and we are a very fixed low income family. We just do what we can to get by. One month, my brother had decided to go to another state for a gaming convention. When he got back, he told us he didn't have the money to pay us. Then, he started getting money taken out of his check for back child support and insurance for this child as well *my niece. So, fast forward 2 months, he hasn't paid us, we are severely in debt, and we have no money to pay our own bills.

We had a tough decision to make. We had to decide on whether to hurt my brothers feelings and get ourself in more debt. In all reality, my children come first, then me and my husband, and then my brother. I know we hurt his feelings. He had no where else to go either. However, he did end up finding a place that he could afford that was all utilities paid as well. In the long run, he is happier now, and holds no ill feelings toward us.

So, my suggestion to you is to tell her that you can't afford for her to live there anymore because you are going in to debt now because of unexpected expenses. Give her two weeks to find alternative arrangements. Then, either find a new roommate *who will pay*, or go to a refinance company to get your mortgage, back bills, and credit cards put together to get them paid off. I know that reconsolidating your bills becomes a mark on your credit score, but it's better than losing everything you have worked so hard to obtain.
Good Luck!!

For my birthday, my new bf of only about a week gave me "his heart" supposedly. He knew it was my bday, he was like, ok I know what I'm giving you. But doesn't that seem kind of cheesy? I mean seriously, does he really care about me?

Well, there are several reasons that I can think of why he did this.
1- you two just started going out and he is unsure of what to get you because he doesn't know what you like.

2- you two just started going out and he may think it's to soon to get you an actual gift.

3- he watched Big Brother last summer and he saw Nick do that to Danielle and he has no imagination of his own.

4- he could be broke and couldn't afford to get you something.

5- he really forgot it was your birthday.

6- he could actually just be selfish and cheesy.

I would just leave it be. I mean, it would be ackward if you started harping him about his "gift" and you may end up being single and no gifts at all.

BTW- Happy Birthday

hi i am 13/female and am having a real hard time moving on after last night. ok. so i like this guy.a couple nights ago we went to this indoor fun house with 2 of our friends. and we had a lot of fun. then during the last 15 mins we got dared to make out and we did (that was the first time ever for me). then last night he invited me over to his house and my friend was supposed to come and his friend was there. it ended up just being us three (me being the only girl). we watched a movie and ate for a while and then without a dare we started doingg EVERYTHING! we made out, we madeout on top of eachother, he went up my shirt and touched my boobs while making out, i gave him a lap dance (not intense though, just sat on top of him and moved around easily) i pulled up my shirt with my bra on, then at the very end we started making out and i waws pretty much humping him and he was grabbing my butt and pushing it into him and he touched my boobs and yeah thats it. and i dont know. i feel regret causee we aren't even going out and his last gf everyone called her a slut because on the 4th day of their relationship he went up her shirt (same thing as me). and i feel like a total slut. and i like him and i want to go out wtih him and he told me he likes me, but wouldn't he ask me out? i really confused and i only told me one best friend who was supposed to be there about it all and she said she didn't think he was using me but idk i have mixed feelings???? i cant talk about it with my family or anyone else except for my one best friend. please help me. should i regret what i did? am i a slut? is it bad since we aren't even going out? do you think he is using me? he told me he liked me. but why hasn't he asked me out? i'm really sad about this. i need SOME ADVICE FAST!!!!!!!!!!

No your not a slut, a slut is someone that sleeps with multiple partners *you haven't had sex yet.

It seems as if he is moving to fast, which causes concern for him using you. If he doesn't ask you out soon, I'd drop him.

I would tell you to take it more slow. This way you don't do more than having a make out session and regretting that even more.

Always be cautious of boys. They are at that age where they want to get some, and then brag about it to their friends. Not all boys are like this, but it seems to me that the ones that actually want a relationship, will already ask you out.

Good Luck!!

15/f

i know theres tons of these questions butttt me and my boyfriend have been sating 4 months. i got him like a medium/smallish sized teddybear thats holding candy and another little thing for valentines day. are teddybears ok for guys? i mean it's just valentines day, but i don't want to feel lame haha
thanks =]

Yes, teddy bears are fine for guys. You know, I saw a teddy bear that holds a cd with his hands. I thought that would be a perfect gift for a guy, a cd and a bear.

k im good at flirtin in person but like when im on myspace or when im textin i have nutin 2 say
like sum guys say like "hey cutie" or "ur cute" or watever & like i dont know wat 2 say 2 that so they would wanna keep talkin 2 me
so like wat should i ask instead of wats up & wat should i say when they say im cute or watever so they still would wanna talk 2 me

I would just say thank you, and ask who they are. Start a conversation like you would normally with someone. If you don't worry about flirting and trying to make yourself more desirable, you tend to be more yourself. That's who you want them to know you as.

Alright
so......i believe i am fat
i weight 161 lbs and 5'1
i have never told any1 but my best friend how much i weight so no mean cmments please
but,alot of people have told me im not fat but, i still feel like i am
i blame this on my brother he has told me i was fat since i was 3
now though he tells everyone at school i have a beer gut
it really hurts me mostly because i have saved him from going to a boy's home mutlipal times
So, i have 2 questions do you all think i'm fat(i have some muscle too)
and what should i do about my brother

In all honesty, it's how you feel about yourself that counts, not how others do.

Your brother is cruel for teasing you like this, however, all siblings have that tendency. I would just ignore him. If he thinks it doesn't bother you, he may stop teasing you. Also, I wouldn't stand up for him anymore either. It's time he figures out that you can't step on the toes that saves your hiney and get away with it.

If you are truly concerned about your body weight, here is a bmi calculator that you can use to decide of your weight class. http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/
I would like to say this, if you are wanting to lose weight, it just takes determination and will power and you can do it. If you are happy with yourself, then that is wonderful. I have learned that even though I may be a little overweight, I am still sexy and I love myself. This is the best way to live, happy to be who you are. Good Luck!!

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