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Roommate can't pay rent
Just under 6 months ago a friend of mine needed a place to stay after breaking up with a live in boyfriend. I offered my home and she moved in. I had just purchased my first home and had bitten off a little more than I could chew in the amount of money the new home cost me in mortgage payments and other associated expenses. After my friend had been there for 3 weeks, I determined that we could reasonably get along as roommates and asked her if she wanted to make the situation more permanent and she agreed to pay one third of my home expenses. I thought I had found the perfect solution to my money problems as her rent would allow me to make my payments without problem and even give me a little extra to pay off some credit card bills. Unfortunately that was not to be the case. Shortly after she moved in, she lost both her full time job and her part time job and even though she found another full time job right away, she had money issues in that her wages were garnished for back child support and other expenses. Even though she had agreed to pay me a certain amount every month, this money never materialized and things got to the point where I had to beg her for money. I realize that she has money problems and other than the money situation she makes a great roommate, but I am hurting financially and find myself not only covering all of the bills, but also paying for the majority of the groceries and even giving her money for essentials such as gas to get by. I want to be a good friend and help her through her problems but am afraid that if I continue like this much further that I may lose the ability to pay my own bills which could jeopardize my keeping my new home. I am on medicaton for depression and other medical problems and have always had a problem with confrontation and feel guilty at the prospect of asking her to move out when I know she has nowhere to go. How do I stand up for myself without totally ruining our friendship and putting her in an even worse situation at the possibility of being homeless?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
honestly, you have been a very good friend, but dont let that jepordize your life situation. You need to sit down and have a chat with your friend. She needs to know how YOU feel and the situation YOU are in. The best thing to do, is not to be mean to her, but give it to her in a nice tone, and tell her that you both can get through this, but its going to take effort from the both of you. Make a plan, and get to action! Make sure you both have jobs, and limit the things you buy, that includes groceries and luxury items. If it comes down to it, it could be a bit easier to ask for some help from your parents or relatives if you can (or hers.) If you do not think that she is taking this whole thing serious enough, then you might want to clue her into what could happen in the future if things continue...like how you menchoned being homeless. this is serious, and you definetly can get through it, but not alone. if she is with you, no matter how good of friends you are, you need to care for yourself too. Maybe if she cant pay the bills right away, and that is fine with you, then she needs to at least pay for groceries and gas. You could also start taking busses. even taking out a loan could help.
GoOd LuCk!!!
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Oh, boy. I can actually top this one, on the same level. Try having the roommate be your brother. Yikes.
Ok, so he wasn't paying us the rent, which wasn't bad, we were charging $300 a month and that was for all of his expenses (other than gas and nictotine). We even built him his own room in this house. So, he was making out like a bandit. However, he was eating everything in our house, and not leaving my kids any food for after school snacks and weekend food. In essence, we were actually using all the money he gave us and some of our own just to cover what he was using.
My husband is on disability and we are a very fixed low income family. We just do what we can to get by. One month, my brother had decided to go to another state for a gaming convention. When he got back, he told us he didn't have the money to pay us. Then, he started getting money taken out of his check for back child support and insurance for this child as well *my niece. So, fast forward 2 months, he hasn't paid us, we are severely in debt, and we have no money to pay our own bills.
We had a tough decision to make. We had to decide on whether to hurt my brothers feelings and get ourself in more debt. In all reality, my children come first, then me and my husband, and then my brother. I know we hurt his feelings. He had no where else to go either. However, he did end up finding a place that he could afford that was all utilities paid as well. In the long run, he is happier now, and holds no ill feelings toward us.
So, my suggestion to you is to tell her that you can't afford for her to live there anymore because you are going in to debt now because of unexpected expenses. Give her two weeks to find alternative arrangements. Then, either find a new roommate *who will pay*, or go to a refinance company to get your mortgage, back bills, and credit cards put together to get them paid off. I know that reconsolidating your bills becomes a mark on your credit score, but it's better than losing everything you have worked so hard to obtain.
Good Luck!!
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This is a hard situation she has put you in. Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her that you have had money problems, and need her to pay the rent, and tell her you want to help her, but you also need to help yourself and not go into debt. If she says she cant pay, tell her that she has to start looking for her own home, but can stay in yours until she moves into her new home. It may hurt a little but its better than pretending nothing is wrong, and getting youu into financial trouble.
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