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am i a slut???
hi i am 13/female and am having a real hard time moving on after last night. ok. so i like this guy.a couple nights ago we went to this indoor fun house with 2 of our friends. and we had a lot of fun. then during the last 15 mins we got dared to make out and we did (that was the first time ever for me). then last night he invited me over to his house and my friend was supposed to come and his friend was there. it ended up just being us three (me being the only girl). we watched a movie and ate for a while and then without a dare we started doingg EVERYTHING! we made out, we madeout on top of eachother, he went up my shirt and touched my boobs while making out, i gave him a lap dance (not intense though, just sat on top of him and moved around easily) i pulled up my shirt with my bra on, then at the very end we started making out and i waws pretty much humping him and he was grabbing my butt and pushing it into him and he touched my boobs and yeah thats it. and i dont know. i feel regret causee we aren't even going out and his last gf everyone called her a slut because on the 4th day of their relationship he went up her shirt (same thing as me). and i feel like a total slut. and i like him and i want to go out wtih him and he told me he likes me, but wouldn't he ask me out? i really confused and i only told me one best friend who was supposed to be there about it all and she said she didn't think he was using me but idk i have mixed feelings???? i cant talk about it with my family or anyone else except for my one best friend. please help me. should i regret what i did? am i a slut? is it bad since we aren't even going out? do you think he is using me? he told me he liked me. but why hasn't he asked me out? i'm really sad about this. i need SOME ADVICE FAST!!!!!!!!!!
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No, you're not a slut. You made a mistake. You were having fun, so you went with it and didn't think about the consequences. What are the consequences? Well, first of all, when you do that stuff with someone who's not your boyfriend, it IS considered kinda slutty, and you could get a bad reputaton if word gets around. Secondly, it might've messed up any chance of having an actual relationship with this guy. He might think of you as just someone he can use, so why ask you out when he can have his fun and stay single?
So how to fix it? First of all, you should talk to the guy about it. Tell him that you had a lot of fun with him, but that you feel like you made a mistake by doing that stuff since the two of you aren't going out. And that you've thought about it, and decided that from now on you're not going to do that stuff with a guy unless you're going out with him. That will let him know that you AREN'T a slut. And if he likes you, he'll ask you out. Then you can do that stuff and not feel guilty about it. If he doesn't ask you out, well, then you'll know how he feels (or doesn't feel) about you, and you can put it behind you, move on and chalk it up to experience.
As for your friends and other people (who will almost certainly hear about it eventually)... tell them the same thing. If it comes up, go ahead and admit that you made a mistake, and that you regret it. If you try to defend yourself, and act like you didn't do anything wrong, people will think you believe its okay to do that. You want people to know that you DON'T feel good about what you did, right?
But don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, and we live and learn.
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your not a slut no. But you rushed into things with someone your not going out with!! You guys have rushed things and your not even going out, there wouldnt be anything sacred or special in the relationship because youve already made out etc. If he does ask you out, he would only ask you out for his personal use. Do you think he values your friendship or personality? I think this boy wants excitement and not a proper relationship, where it isnt just making out. You are thirteen and have plenty of time to makeout with whoever you want to, but youve done it with some who I think is using you. You should find someone who values you as your person and sees more than just a "sex" toy. If you made out at 13 with someone who isn't your boyfriend, where you will be in a years time? You need to resepect yourself girl!You are not a slut....YET. Make sure you let him no you play the rules and if he asks you out, let him no there is more to you than making out, ask him what he likes about you. If he dosn't come up with anything genuine, I wouldn't go out with him. It sounds as if he makes everyone look bad..he was the one who put his hand up her skirt, yet she is called the slut. He put her hand up the skirt, after 4 days of dating, you can see he likes a rushed relationship where he can makeout. Is that what you want to be..his little "sex/makeout" toy?
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thats a hard one. at my school, everyone called me a slut for just wearing a skirt one day that was a little too short. but you shouldnt have done what you did. first of all, your only 13. im 15 and i still havent done anything close to that. (but im old fashioned, so w/e) second, the only person i know who has done that stuff is ALSO 13, and she actually IS a slut (shes had sex and gotten pregnant and then lost it). but i really dont wanna call you that cause i dont know you. but yeah. its not right since yall arent going out. and lap dance is a slut move. letting some guy touch your breasts *WHO ISNT GOING OUT WITH YOU* is also a slut move.
just tell him that you didnt know what you were doing and let it pass. and if people call you a slut, do the mature thing and leave them alone. as for the using part? not sure. again. i dont know him or you. but all i know is there is a fine line between liking someone, and wanting to go out with someone. i know that i have had many crushes that i didnt wanna go out with...
but to answer the headline...no your not a slut. your just misleaded and confused. and on top of all that, your a TEENAGER.
take care and dont go ANY FURTHER than first base next time, kay? :)
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well i think that doing all that stuff and not even going out or in a relationship is slutty, but you are not a slut. Just take it slow, and if he doesnt ask you out, then ignore him, and he'll miss you and ask you out fer serr. Hope i helped!
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Be careful! I was thirteen once and regret many things because of situations like this one. Things happen, but don't make a habit of them. You should respect yourself and be cautious with this guy. I would reccomend you move on before you get hurt and he starts rumors.
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No your not a slut, a slut is someone that sleeps with multiple partners *you haven't had sex yet.
It seems as if he is moving to fast, which causes concern for him using you. If he doesn't ask you out soon, I'd drop him.
I would tell you to take it more slow. This way you don't do more than having a make out session and regretting that even more.
Always be cautious of boys. They are at that age where they want to get some, and then brag about it to their friends. Not all boys are like this, but it seems to me that the ones that actually want a relationship, will already ask you out.
Good Luck!!
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