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February 22, 2015

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about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

i wear my mother-inlaw & sister-inlaws clean & scented panties.ihave plenty of my own,& my wifes pairs just dont do it. i want to tell them before they find out that i been in their draws &hampers.i dont wnat them to get mad or upset so im trying to find a way to let them know what im doing before they find out,especially my mother-inlaw.

What you are doing is not right. Telling them that you are wearing their underwear is not a good idea. They will not understand. You are using your family in a very perverse way. You need to seek counseling for this. Please start taking steps to stop what you are doing. It needs to stop, not be understood by your victims.

Help Finding a Therapist
1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)

I'm not sure if this one would help you, but it's worth a try:
Stop It Now! (Sexual Abuse)
1-888-PREVENT

Good luck.

There is a condom lodged in my vagina how do I get it out??????

Your question has been answered sufficiently, but there is something that I would like to add. If you are not on any other form of birth control, the condom is lodged in you as a result of sex, and you are not trying to have children, make sure that you get a day after pill. Whats in the condom might not stay in there. Good luck and I hope that you get it out!

what is spermicide that is already on condoms
I read a question like that but i dont think i quite understand it.

Some condoms come with spermicide on them and some don't. Spermicide can be used by itself. Spermicide does not catch or trap sperm, it kills it.

This website will tell you everything you need to know about spermicide and has links to other forms of birth control.

http://www.coolnurse.com/spermicide.htm

what is the difference between regular sex and dry sex?

I'm assuming that you know what "regular sex" is and this is the official definition of dry sex:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_sex.

Most of the time, however, when people are referring to "dry sex" they mean humping with clothes or underwear on. There isn't any penetration involved, just rubbing up against each other.

HELP! i just got my period for the like the third time! is there any way that i can calculate when i'll get it next?

ILL RATE 5s!

♥ linds

Start counting days. Your cycle begins on the day you get your period. Write down or remember the first day that your period starts. Then on the day when your next period starts, subtract how many days it was. Your third period after that should come in about the same number of days. It should be somewheres in the vicinity of 28-32. Good luck!

I was wondering, how effective is spermicide that is already on condoms, because my boyfriend and i have been using that type so i was just curious how effective it was.

There's about a 20% chance that you will get pregnant if you use spermicide alone. That's 1 in 5! Not a risk worth taking. If you're talking about using condoms with spermicide, the chances of pregnancy go down to about 1%. Condoms without spermicide have a failure rate of about 3%. If you want more information check out this website:

http://www.coolnurse.com/birthcontrol.htm

It has the effectiveness rates for all forms of birth control.

Good luck!

every so often after i go pee, it feels like i still have to pee,but i dont.its not exactly a burning feeling, but sort of.what could it be?

thanks.

It sounds quite normal to me. Just as long as it doesn't hurt and goes away after a few seconds it's not a problem at all. It happens to everyone. You don't have to tell your doctor or your parents. That's silly. If ever it hurts or the feeling does not go away that's when you say something. I hope I helped and good luck.

ive heard a lot of reference to love handles on advicnators.

what are "love handles"?

Whenever you want to know something like this Wikipedia is the place to look! :D

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_handles

How possible is it to get pregnent from precum? (like having sex for like 20 seconds unprotected because both the guy and girl like the feeling of it without a condom) Do people actually get pregnent from precum? because i never heard of that happening. any info on precum is helpful thanks

Just because you like the feeling of sex without a condom doesn't mean that you shouldn't use birth control at all! There are many other methods of birth control that you could use. NEVER have unprotected sex. It doesn't matter how low the percentage is that you can get pregnant from precum, it is still there. Why take that chance? This website has some alternate forms of birth control that you can check out. I would suggest that you use the contraceptive sponge or have the girl start on birth control pills. Unprotected sex for any amount of time is not a good idea at all! I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you find a method of birth control that is right for you. Good luck!

http://www.coolnurse.com/birthcontrol.htm

does ne one kno where i can find the script for the disney movie high school musical?
thanks

A script for a movie? I could be wrong, but I don't think you can do that because there are copyright issues and stuff. I haven't seen the movie, but I did find that there is a book called "High School Musical" that I believe the movie was based on. You can look at it here - http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=br_ss_hs/104-2567041-6706356?platform=gurupa&url=index%3Dblended&keywords=high+school+musical&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&Go=Go
There are also soundtracks that would probably have all the song lyrics included with them.

I hope it's what you're looking for. Good luck!

it might be a little weird but i think i might have multiple personalities. well at least one other. its not dangerous or anything but like, one time i found myself making dinner when the last time i checked, i was working in my office. im not the kind of person who zones out often but im worried about this. sometimes i dont remember writing in my journal and i find entrys. just a few words. or other times i find things in my bedroom rearranged and my most recent incident was i looked down and i had a totally different outfit on. this happens almost every other week.

could i possibly have another personality? what should i do?

I doubt that it's another personality, but you may have something like attention defecit disorder. I don't think that what's happening to you is normal even though it's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm not a doctor so I honestly have no idea. I would suggest talking to your doctor about this the next time you go. There would be no harm in doing so and I don't see a need to rush. You might be able to get some medication to take so that you zone out less. Good luck! :)

I heard that in England and some parts of Europe, you can get a degree for your major without taking "required classes". Is that true?

Like if one wanted to be an architect, one would only have to take classes to be an architect.

Your guidance counselor would know.

It sounds like it could be true. Private colleges can do "whatever they want" and there may be some in England that do what you described.

I don't think many people on this site are going to know for sure so definitely ask your guidance counselor.

Good luck!

hey. i'm from guam and like there's this guy who likes me and i like him back, so we went out for a few months and then we broke up. because he still had feelings for his old girlfriend who dumped him. is it ok if i can still like him and think about him and still wanna go out with him?

I think I can see why you feel the way that you do. He left you because he still had feelings for an ex. You thought that what he did was cruel and wrong and that he shouldn't still have feelings for her. Now he is your ex and you have feelings for him. You now understand why he felt the way he did and are worried that you are a hypocrite and that feeling that way is wrong.

The thing is, you're upset with what he did, not with what he felt. Feeling something and acting on that feeling are two different things. Yes, it's ok to feel the way you do just as long as you don't do what he did. Don't start dating another guy when you are not ready. Get over him first or accept that you two aren't going to be together so you don't hurt someone like he hurt you.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. Remember that he didn't break up with you because you're not good enough or because she's better. He broke up with you because he wasn't ready for you. Nothing more. I hope you feel better about this soon and good luck. :)

is lake water bad for acne?

No. However, lake water isn't the cleanest. If you don't rinse it off for awhile chances are, the dirt and grime will cause you to break out. Being dirty is a cause of acne. I guess you could say then, that the lake water is indirectly bad for acne. As long as you rinse off, you will be fine. Most people do rinse off, which would make them cleaner and thus acually be good for their acne. See how that works? The lake has nothing to do with it. It's all about being clean.

Swimming in a pool is different. There are chemicals in the pool that can help acne go away quicker along with the fact that you'll be cleaner.

I hope I helped and have a great time wherever you swim! :)

okay well im really not scared of sports i love sports...but im scared of the subect sports in school! and i dont know why maby its because of my teacher and also because were doing stuff i totally cant do..like loopings in the air whatever and people always tell me: i also cant do it but just try it... and how should i try to do a looping in the air like duuuhhh i totally dont know how and by the way many people got hurt..and im reeeaalllyy scared all the time...like the night before thursday (thats the day we have sports) i totally get nightmares like i end up in a hospital or something! and my teacher always forces me to do stuff i hate...and she's also really mean to me she said if i dont move i get even fatter then i am..and im sooo not fat im like one of the most slim persons in my class and people always tell me that! i dont know im just sooo scared all the time!! what should i do??
sorry this is so long

I'll rate

SqueakieSquid2323 is right.

I'd like to add though that you need to tell your school principal that your teacher is calling you fat. Even though it doesn't seem to bother you, it could be very damaging to others. Since you are thin and she calls YOU fat imagine how other people that are larger than you may feel. I'll bet she doesn't just do it to you either. She is a professional and should know better than to say things like that. It can be very very damaging and it needs to stop immediately.

If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable in class, which it seems you do, this is something to discuss with your school principal or guidance counselor as well. If people are getting hurt, your teacher should NOT be making you do the activity. You may be able to get out of the class too for personal reasons. I wish you the best of luck. :)

Lately, I cant get my husband in the mood… and I was wondering if there is anyway I can get my husband to get in the mood. What can I do?? What can I say where can I touch.. Its really bothering me.. I'm good-looking but lately he’s just tired and I don’t know how to get him “in the mood”

I agree with RealisticWench that the best way to do this is to spice things up. My suggestion would be to buy a new set of intimate lingerie. Garter belt, stockings, the whole deal. If you don't want to go out and buy all this stuff in public, they've got a lot of great things on eBay. Don't tell him about it and one night just put it on and surprise him. Guys are, more often than not, stimulated visually.

If you have children, send them to stay with their grandmother or other trusted adult for the night or weekend. Unless of course they're older and you can instead encourage them to stay with friend.

Another way to spice it up is to "go back" to being a teen. Make out in the car, take a shower together, have lots of foreplay, anything that you used to do with each other...once you're married, these things don't tend to happen much anymore and can get him in the mood by remembering your intimate moments in the past.

You can always talk to him about it. Sometimes an honest, open conversation is all that you need to fix what seems like the biggest problem in the universe. Ask him what's going on and what you can do. Tell him how you feel.

My last bit of advice would be to see a counselor. Sometimes, you can try "everything" and nothing works. Both of you should go, but even if it was just you, a relationship counselor would be able to help you out tremendously with this. Many, many couples find themselves in your situation. Good luck! :)

My Mom read my journal/diary and found that i had had sex before, (not anymore) and she went ballistic. She is now taking me to a gyno tomorrow, and i really dont want to go, (besides, im not haveING sex, I had it once before) and shes putting me on birth control. I was wondering , does she have any right to force me to do these things? She cant force me to go to the gyno, and she cant force me to have birth control right? (Birth control being a shot of hormones) I dont want these things to happen.. Do i have a say in what happens to me? 14 yrs old and obviously female if that helps.

This is why keeping a journal is a terrible idea. Somebody always reads it. In the future, either try to keep your journal less personal, or start using an online journal, a journal with a key, or something a little more secure. I actually made up my own symbol language to keep things secret from others. Yes, you can laugh, but, hey, it worked.

I think your mom's reaction, however "ballistic" it seemed, was justified. I'm sure you know, at least now, that having sex at a young age is an irresponsible and dangerous thing to do. In her place, you'd probably react in the same way. The thing is, you've already realized your mistake and probably won't do it again. She has just discovered it and hasn't come to terms with it yet. Try to keep this in mind: she will calm down.

I doubt that she will force you to take birth control. When you talk to the doctor/gyno, tell them that you realize that you made a mistake and have since become more mature and won't make those decisions again. The doctor will probably advise your mother that you don't need birth control. Why suffer the side effects for no reason? I don't think you have any power in making the final decision, but you do have a LOT of say in the matter. Just make sure that you are completely CALM, MATURE, and HONEST when talking to the doctor and you should be fine.

Your mom forcing you to get a pap smear and other tests involved with seeing the doctor/gyno is a little different than her forcing you to go on birth control. Yearly visits to a gyno should start right after you begin being sexually active no matter what age you are. This isn't a punishment, it's to protect you from things like cervical cancer. Don't fight this. It's very important that you go for your own health. Don't refuse or resist just to spite your mother. You could be putting yourself at risk!

I wish you lots of luck and remember to stay completely composed no matter what is said when you are talking in the presence of any professional. It will help your case a lot. :)

I just got my period. I've been trying to use a tampon. This sounds really gross but I can't find the "hole" it goes into!?! I've tried readying the directions...it doesn't help what should I do?

Try using a small hand-held mirror so that you can see what you're doing. It's just like what you may have gone through if you've gotten your ears pierced or have contacts. At first, you had to use a mirror to put them in. After you got a better sense of where they were supposed to go, what it looked like, and what it felt like, doing it without a mirror became quite easy. Good luck! :)

I love and believe in God and have my whole life. I come from a religious family but recently it's been really hard to believe. In the past month, I've lost my Aunt and my best friend's Dad to cancer.

My Aunt was just about the best person I've ever met. Honestly, sometimes I can't stand my extended family but she was different. She was always sweet, energetic (when she wasn't in the hospital) and optimistic.

My dad is always working so I almost never get to see him except on Sundays. My best friend and her family live next door so I was always around them and her father. He was such a great man and acted like a great father figure to me considering I don't have any older brothers and my dad is always working or busy with clients.

It's not fair that they get sick and die when there are murderers and such running around everywhere. It's not fair that God does this to me, my family, and my friend's family. My Aunt and her dad were great people and it's not fair that God takes them from us like that. I want to still believe that it all happens for a reason and that God loves me, and he know what he's doing, but I can't. I don't know what to do.

These feelings are very, very natural especially because of what you're going through. This is something that you should talk to your minister about. None of us on Advicenators are religious experts. Most questions involving religion on this site will get a lot of answers telling you that God doesn't exist and such, which isn't going to help your faith at all. Then, most of the other answers are either very cliche, or it's obvious that the person doesn't have any idea what they're talking about. Everyone goes through times like these at some point in their lives and many people actually become closer to God through them. Talking to your minister about it will help a lot. Your minister knows your family and knows you. He/she will be able to explain things to you in the correct way. I am very sorry for your losses and I know that you can get through this. Good luck.

hello there. i am thinking about getting limewire. if you get caught with it, can you get arrested? and how do they even catch you? and dealing with itunes (i have that too.) how do i get the songs from limewire to my ipod? or to my library? or will they just like automatically show up? im so confused on all of this. help please.

Limewire is legal, so don't worry about getting caught with it. Putting music from limewire onto your ipod however is not unless you pay. Otherwise it's considered stealing music. My advice to you is to get limewire and enjoy it. If you want to put music on your ipod, either pay, or find a different program on the internet that better suits your pocketbook. Limewire is a dollar a month I believe, but there are some programs where you pay by song so if you're only planning on getting a few songs, that would be better for you. Good luck!

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