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My husband.

Question Posted Tuesday May 2 2006, 1:48 pm

Lately, I cant get my husband in the mood… and I was wondering if there is anyway I can get my husband to get in the mood. What can I do?? What can I say where can I touch.. Its really bothering me.. I'm good-looking but lately he’s just tired and I don’t know how to get him “in the mood”

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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?

Razhie answered Tuesday May 2 2006, 3:46 pm:
Okay, I'm a little surprised people dove into seduction techniques and almost totally ignored the most obvious course of action: Asking him.

You are married adults. You're both old enough to know you aren't mind readers, you should be able to talk about this. Simple non-judgmental questions like "Hun I've noticed you aren't as interested in sex lately. Is there something different you want to do?" Might open up a whole new chapter in your sex life.

Sometimes things just click sexually. Sometimes two people click in a certain way sexually and stick to that because it is safe, although it's not the most satisfying. Some days try as hard as you may you just can't get into it.

If the lingerie or treats or old hangouts appeal to you then by all means girl go for it! But before you try and treat him, ask him what a good treat would be. If you are feeling a little out of touch with him sexually, talking to him is the place to start.

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TheOldOne answered Tuesday May 2 2006, 3:17 pm:
Just a thought, but not every man is run by his penis. You may get good results if you make an extra effort to show him affection and kindness. Give him a back rub, or a foot rub. That can often be very sensual.

Or think of some other sort of treat for him, something you know will make him happy.

But try not to make him feel that you're just waiting for sex. It's not true that all men are ready for sex all the time, no matter what; sometimes it helps a lot to make a man feel loved.

Sex and love aren't two separate things, or shouldn't be - at least not when you're married.

You might also try a new perfume, or experimenting in different ways. And if none of THAT works...consider a counselor. Going too long without sex can definitely hurt your relationship.

And of course it's very frustrating. :D

Good luck!

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sizzlinmandolin answered Tuesday May 2 2006, 2:43 pm:
I agree with RealisticWench that the best way to do this is to spice things up. My suggestion would be to buy a new set of intimate lingerie. Garter belt, stockings, the whole deal. If you don't want to go out and buy all this stuff in public, they've got a lot of great things on eBay. Don't tell him about it and one night just put it on and surprise him. Guys are, more often than not, stimulated visually.

If you have children, send them to stay with their grandmother or other trusted adult for the night or weekend. Unless of course they're older and you can instead encourage them to stay with friend.

Another way to spice it up is to "go back" to being a teen. Make out in the car, take a shower together, have lots of foreplay, anything that you used to do with each other...once you're married, these things don't tend to happen much anymore and can get him in the mood by remembering your intimate moments in the past.

You can always talk to him about it. Sometimes an honest, open conversation is all that you need to fix what seems like the biggest problem in the universe. Ask him what's going on and what you can do. Tell him how you feel.

My last bit of advice would be to see a counselor. Sometimes, you can try "everything" and nothing works. Both of you should go, but even if it was just you, a relationship counselor would be able to help you out tremendously with this. Many, many couples find themselves in your situation. Good luck! :)

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RealisticWench answered Tuesday May 2 2006, 2:04 pm:
Most men do go through phases of not wanting sex, just like women. Try spicing things up, do something that you wouldn't normally do to surprise him, give him a blowjob, I don't know any man that that wouldn't put in the mood!

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