"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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What age do you think is appropriate to lose your virginity? (link)
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This question is really not as difficult as one may think in the beginning. It sounds as if it is complicated to figure out when the best time is for a person; however, it is very simple.
When you are prepared emotionally, physically, and financial to have children then it is the right time to engage in sexual activities. Children can be accidents, birth control is not always effective, and it's best to be completely prepared. A parent-to-be needs to make major decisions while being stable enough to handle the worst. You should be able to answer some questions like:
1. What if the baby has a defect--physical and/or mental?
2. What if I lose my current job? How will I support myself and another being?
3. Am I in a stable environment? Will I have a safe place to come home to with my child?
4. Who would tend to my child while I work to support the family? Who can I trust this well?
5. If I am a woman, can I my body handle being depleted of vital nutrients? Am I in good health? OR--Is my partner in good health? Can my partner's body handle carrying a child to full-term safely?
6. In a few years, will I be able to start answering a child's question about life, sex, drugs, and even responsibility? How would I handle this?
7. If my partner decides to abandon me, becomes extremely ill, or passes away will I be able to cope and remain stable for the sake of the child in question?
Personally, I know many people who became impregnated the same night they lost their virginity. Some were on birth control even so that alone shows the ineffectiveness of it. Some were prepared for such things and some were completely lost and had to scrap their entire life-plans to raise another being.
Personally, I'd like to be prepared so that I could give my offspring the best chance at life possible. I wouldn't want to raise a child that wasn't capable of making it in life because I wasn't ready to put down my life for his/hers.
When you are prepared for the worst and know that with your mate you will get through it together. Many people contract STDs/STIs on their first encounter from a partner that was simply unaware that they were a carrier. Many virgins have STDs from their parents and were never taught that the symptoms they experience are not healthy.
You need to be as educated as possible before engaging in sex. This means knowing all of your facts--good and bad. Many people like to pretend that they are not at risks for STDs and then when they are diagnosed they are confused, lost, and completely uninformed. If they had been responsible and researched beforehand they would have been able to cope a lot easier.
Many people now leave their partners for silly reasons. They may leave the person with all of the burden and responsibility. The person may have contracted an STD from an unfaithful partner that they will now have to live with and inform other possible partners about (embarrassing). They may have to rear a child completely on their own because of the selfishness of their past mate. Many people are in such a hurry now that they don't take the time to figure out if their partner is true and loving to them, and so they rush into things entirely too fast and get caught into a horrible mess.
To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
In short, it's right to have sex when you are prepared in every way possible--there is no way too label a specific age for this. Think about all of the possibilities--good and bad--to having sexual relations and answer them all honestly. Some people will reach this stage at age 21, some people won't reach this age until 35.
I hope I've helped educate you on this and you'll be able to make the right decisions in life. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)
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My 12 year old son has a neighborhood friend (who spends alot of time at our house). He is a very nice boy, who doesn't have alot of friends because he can be "a pain in the neck" (according to my son) and we believe because of his hygiene. His odor is very offensive and we don't even like when he sits on the furniture in the house. He has been in the car with us on a few occasions and it is necessary to open the windows to cut some of the smell. Here's the really tough part... how do we handle this. I would like to pull him to the side and speak to him about taking showers and wearing clean clothes, but the other part of me thinks we should speak to his parents. The problem with this is his mom is not very "clean" either. What should I do?? (link)
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I completely agree with Razhie.
You definately should not go to the boy with this problem because he is young and probably in a stage of insecurity about his own body as it is (his peers are just starting to make a huge deal out of appearance, after all).
You should see the parents in person when raising this issue, and you should most definately not blame the parents in any way. Blaming the parents (though it is their fault by not teaching their child proper hygiene habits apparently) will only make them develop negative feelings toward you and your son, possibly causing them to dismiss your concern.
Razhie had a really great idea by saying that you have heard some of the other little boys snickering about the way the child smells and that you have taken the time to try to pick up the odor. Let them know that you know how it is difficult to keep a boy clean but you also know how hurt feelings at a young age can lead to the developing of other problems in the future. Simply let them know you are concerned for the child.
Blaming the odor on anything other than the parents is actually fairly easy. You can even suggest that when your son used a certain type of soap that it just didn't cut it for him or that when he only bathed every-other-day he developed an unpleasant odor that you didn't detect until a family friend pointed it out. If you go the soap routine, suggest a soap that you KNOW works well anyway. If you feel that the child is now in need of deodorant and that the parents have overlooked this then you can suggest something like:
"I noticed when Little Johnny uses X deodorant that his odor becomes very odd and unpleasant. I'm not sure what's in it but it just doesn't agree with him and after he uses it, it takes a full day for it to wear off of him although he washes daily. Y deodorant really works for him though so I'd say it's a pretty good deodorant for controlling adolescent sweat odors."
Try to relate to the parents if you can. If your son has ever come home smelly then let them know that and what you did to keep that from happening as often. When you do this, you will be trying to give them tips on proper hygiene without implying that they do not know what that means. This is a good example:
"Little Johnny came home a few times after playing hard at school. I know kids sweat a lot and get into dirt...I mean, they're boys! Anyway, I found that if I have Johnny wash with X soap thoroughly right after school things are a lot better and the house doesn't have that sweaty odor lingering around from him walking through it. He use to only wash at night before bedtime but every day right after school seems to help a whole lot."
You should most definately enforce hygiene habits around the child too in any way you can manage. Send the children to wash their hands right after school, before eating, after playing, etc. You can even have the children wash their faces after coming home from school, before dinner, after playing, etc. if you don't already. Have your son change into fresh, clean clothes for dinner every day (this will show the boy that people are suppose to be in clean clothes for dinner and he may develop an interest in bringing a clean set of clothes over eventually for such purposes; after a while you may even want to suggest to this boy that he bring an extra set for dinner if he comes over regularly). The boy may or may not pick up some of the good habits you teach at your house but you can be hopeful.
Try to make hygiene a big thing in your family. Talk openly about soaps and the importance of washing in front of the guest-child. Ask your son if he likes the current shampoo or soap. Engage in a full discussion of shampoos/soaps and why it's important to use it each day. Let your son know if a deodorant is handling his scent well and try to make discussion about how their are many different types of deodorants, how they work, why they're needed, and how lovely some of the smells are. Start discussions about people who didn't know they needed to [shower daily, use deodorant daily, wash their hands before mealtime, etc.] and that you were a little shocked that you how you had to explain to them why it was important to--then explain to your family why it is important to do whatever it is you're discussing. Even if your child already knows these things you are only reinforcing GOOD habits. The more frequent the talk of hygiene, the more the guest-child will want to participate and he may end up changing his habits just do that.
In the meantime, purchase a fabric freshener for your couches and such for when he leaves the house so you can freshen them up from the odor. It almost sounds silly but a pet-odor-remover would probably be best since the smell is of a living being.
If you become close with the family at some point then this question may help you help them:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=534732
I wish you luck on helping the child out with his odor problem! If you have any more questions relating to this subject, please feel free to ask me :)
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okay. well i have had an advicenators for a while now. but sometimes when i ask a question i wont get any answers. and it pisses me off sometimes cuz i really need help. then on the other hand when i go to yahoo answers sometimes i get stupid answers that dont help me at all. so which do you like better?? yahoo answers or advicenators?? (link)
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There are many reasons why I feel Advicenators is so much better than Yahoo! Answers.
You always know that a human being will answer your site problems on Advicenators. If you send an abuse report you won't get some silly email saying something to the effect of, "One of our associates will be reviewing your report in 3 to 5 days. Please do not reply to this message." You're completely able to see if action was taken care of on Advicenators for the abuse and you can always email a live human being (DangerNerd) and any problems you're having with the site.
Yahoo! Answers is about as good as it's going to get, to be honest. You see, what happened with that site is someone set it up to how they thought it would run best and will pretty much leave it like that. All of the features it has will be about it, even a year from now not much will have changed; however, Advicenators will be growing dramatically (and we're not talking about users and answers, mind you). I read in a forum (I think it was the moderator forum a while back) that DangerNerd has a whole list of things he is planning to do with the site. That means there will be new features to come here and things will be changing and improving. I suspect that DangerNerd is currently working on features we're not aware even exist yet, but only time will tell what will change.
On Advicenators, if you are banned you can contact DangerNerd and discuss the reasoning as to why you were banned. With this said, you may even be able to lessen banned-time, I'm not sure as I've never had that issue. While recently on Yahoo Answers they had a glitch where many people were banned by their automated system for no reason at all. MANY users had a hell of a problem trying to contact a real person to figure out why they were banned and how they could be unbanned. In addition, many trolls will go to Yahoo! Answers and report abuse on various accounts and the automated system will ban those reported accounts--even if they didn't abuse anything!
Yahoo doesn't really care what answers you give out to people. I've seen so much misinformation on Yahoo Answers that nobody has bothered to correct. At least on Advicenators you can correct someone or contact a moderator to inform the other answerer of their misinformation. Without good, solid information then bad things can (and definitely will) happen to the questioner. Advicenators really wants GOOD answers, not just any old answer to boost ratings or scores.
People also seem to enjoy hurting other users on Yahoo Answers. I've noticed a lot of people bashing each other for asking "stupid" questions. Here on Advicenators that is not allowed at all and all questions are useful. We simply do not see "stupid" questions as long as they are serious because we know we have all asked questions about things we should have known before. There is no reason to feel embarrassed here because we don't bash like Yahoo Answers seems to do.
You can also purchase a paid account for very cheap on Advicenators ($10 pays for an entire year), unlike Yahoo! Answers. There's more on that on the link at the top labeled "Get MORE Stuff!" if you are interested in learning about that.
Yahoo Answers restricts linking to websites. On Yahoo Answers you simply are not allowed to link to certain sites that may be similar as to not disrupt the users flowing into their site. Advicenators encourages linking to non-harmful websites because sometimes a user just cannot explain everything without pointing out a website that has more information worded correctly. Sure, porn is not allowed to be linked, but there are a lot of users that are underage for that sort of thing. To me, Yahoo just seems greedy and careless about their users.
In short, Advicenators is better because:
We care.
We are human, no automated responses.
You can always contact someone.
Answers are thoughtful, informative, and respectful (no bashing; no trolls).
The site is STILL growing/improving.
You can link to just about anywhere and not get suspended for "abuse."
You can purchase a paid account for more features (and no more ads).
If you report abuse, a HUMAN looks at the reasoning (not automated).
I hope I've helped you figure out which site seems better for real, helpful advice :) feel free to ask me questions in my inbox if you'd like!
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okay I am definitely going to start using condoms after this.
I'm on Yaz birth control and I took my pill about 9 PM and threw up at 2 AM. well I never took another pill or anything because I wasn't sure if it was absorbed.
I know you're supposed to use a backup protection method for seven days if you missed a pill.
welllllllll. I had sex without a condom five days after throwing up. He didn't cum inside of me or anything. (but I know pre-cum and all that shit)
soooo....am I going to be pregnant now=[=[??
I'm very very paranoid about this and I'm not sure if my pill was absorbed before throwing up or if having unprotected sex five days later is okay.
HELP!!! (link)
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It is possible you may have become impregnanted; however, I would chalk it up more to typical hormonal birth control percentage.
I say this because you typically do not have to worry if you've thrown up your pill as long as it's been in your system for about 3 hours or so unless you have an abnormally slow metabolism. If you thrown up a pill before the 3 hour mark or so then you should immediately take the next pill in the pack so you're still protected. THEN, you will have to see your doctor as to what to do next because if you end your period earlier than usual (making you have 8 days of inactive pills instead of 7) then you may not be covered.
Remember that the hormonal birth control isn't 100% effective. It is only 99% effective with PERFECT usage, which means you do not gain or lose weight, take the pill at the EXACT same time each day, do not experience stress or illness, etc. It is actually only about 92% effective with typical usage so you should always be using another method of protection just in case it fails.
Continue taking your pills as normal. If you need to, purchase a wristwatch with an alert on it and have it go off every day at the time you need to take your pill. You should do everything possible to take the pill at the proper times as to not decrease it's effectiveness any more.
If your period is late or non-existant this month then you should pick up a home pregnancy test. You will have to wait a few days after your period is late to get an accurate read-out so it's probably not best to take it too early. If the test shows positive then you are for sure pregnant. If the test shows negative and your period still hasn't shown up then you should make a doctor's appointment to have a pregnancy test done there (more accurate than the home versions).
I hope things will be fine and you won't have to go through the mess of an unexpected pregnancy so early in life. Please remember to always use another form of birth control on the pill as well. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me :)
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Okay, so im going to have my first time in august with my boyfriend. I just have a few sex questions.
its pretty much impossibal to get preg. if you use a condom right?
does it hurt the first time?
can i have sex without birth control?
My periods are usually unusual, so im going to be scared if my period comes late [it usually always does] so how will i know if im preg. or not?
how do you use a preg test? im going to use one just incase.
are you sore in the morning?
anything else i need to know?
thank you :] and im 15 1/2 female. Please don't tell me that its stupid and im too young because i really love my boyfriend (link)
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Now, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm highly concerned of your lack of knowledge about sexual interaction before engaging in these acts. I will try to do my best to answer your questions thoroughly so there are no misunderstandings.
1. Condoms are actually only 97% effective is used 100% correctly and with each and every act. Face it, we're simply not perfect human beings. Do you know that "perfect usage" means that if the male pulls out he must instantly put a new condom on (remember, without his half-sex-up penis coming in contact with the outside of the fresh condom)? There are quite a few of those little "facts" about perfect usage too. Most people aren't aware of that so they aren't considered perfect users either. With TYPICAL use, condoms are actually about 88% effective. It doesn't sound too bad until you take into consideration that it means that in every 12 sex acts with using a condom, a baby will be born because of the condom's failure. That's a lot and pretty decent chances if you engage in sex frequently.
Percentages taken from:
http://www.brown.edu/Student_Services/Health_Services/Health_Education/sexual_health/ssc/condoms.htm
2. For most women their first few sexual contacts are uncomfortable but it usually isn't as severe as to make them burst into tears or something. Your body is not naturally wide enough to accommodate a penis without stretching. Being a virgin means that your body hasn't ever been stretched either so it will go through a lot to fit a penis. There is also the possibility of your hymen needing to be broken, see this question here (my answer) for more information on your hymen:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=536676
3. You can most certainly have sex without birth control but you better be aware that your pregnancy risks increases dramatically. I would guess that one of the safest ways to NOT get pregnant during sex would be to use a male condom (88% pregnancy prevention) and the hormonal birth control pill (92% pregnancy prevention). Male condoms help to be a barrier from infections and diseases so it lessens the risk of contracting harmful things; however, it is not completely effective on that either so you should always take caution on choosing a sex partner. Anyway, using both of these types of birth control together would be a wise choice. Here is a question about how to get hormonal birth control:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543124
4. To figure out if you're pregnant or not you should use as many methods of protection as possible. Your periods being irregular is not going to help the situation so you best protect yourself to the fullest. For you, I would suggest waiting 2 weeks after your period SHOULD come and then purchasing a home pregnancy test to see the results. The 2 weeks should compensate for your natural irregular cycle.
5. A home pregnancy test is not completely accurate so please know that. If it shows a positive then you truly are pregnant; however, sometimes it can show a negative when you are pregnant. I know a girl who had her home pregnancy tests show negative the ENTIRE time she was pregnant!
Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others.
6. In my experience, the ONLY time I've actually been sore in the morning is when the sex was exceptionally good.
7. Of course! For your own safety you should read up on some facts about things like:
STD percentages:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
STD photos (seriously, it's best to know what they look like in case you experience weird symptoms you can compare it):
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
Pregnancy costs:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
...and here is a link about virginity too. It gives good examples of what they're talking about so you're able to understand them clearly:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
It's better to be extra safe now than extra sorry later so please take the time to research. I only want you to be happy and healthy so please do not take my sending you to a lot of links as rude, I am only caring about your well-being. If you have any more questions PLEASE feel free to drop them in my inbox :)
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Is it true that you can only get pregnant when you're on your period? Considering, that your eggs release when your on your period and I've heard that you can only get pregnant when they release so does that mean that if you have sex on your period and the guy "busts" in you, that you have a better chance of getting pregnant than any other time of the month? (link)
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This is very false, as you are not actually ovulating during or right before your period, but you can most definately become pregnant during this time as well as any other time during your cycle.
A woman ovulates, roughly, 14 or 15 days from the beginning of her last period; however, if your period is not a perfectly exact 28 day cycle then this can be thrown off. Ovulation lasts only a few days meaning about two or three) each cycle. Your body's temperature slightly changes during this time and you secrete more cervical mucus to ensure there is enough for sperm to travel in properly. During this time sperm that entire your body are able to live slightly longer than usual. Sperm typically can live in a woman's body for 5 - 7days, though it is not unheard of to find a few still alive at the two week mark.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg. Sperm are well equipped to find their way to their goal and they will do anything to ensure fertilization. A man's pre-ejaculatory fluid can be hard to distinguish after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse because it is a smaller quantity and is thinner. Men are not aware of when they release this pre-ejaculatory fluid so there is no way to stop it. Yes, it is likely it contacts sperm that can still impregnate you just the same.
Also, ovulation is actually when you are at your peak fertility zone. Basically, you are equally fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes). So, this means you can get pregnant during ANY day of your regular cycle equally and you have more chance of becoming pregnant during ovulation.
Ovulation tends to last a couple of days. Usually sometime during this travel is when the egg becomes fertilized and it attaches to your uterine wall when it reaches your uterus. Sometimes the egg is fertilized in the uterus; sometimes the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube way too early and a baby begins to grown in the tube (which can cause MAJOR issues and can be very dangerous).
It can be extremely difficult to tell if you're ovulating or not if you're not keeping a very close track on your daily discharge and internal temperature. Many things can also throw off your regular ovulation cycle such as: stress, hormonal birth control, antibiotics, weight loss and gain, and major diet changes.
I hope I've helped you out in understanding how your body works. If you have any other questions regarding this matter feel free to ask me :)
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So I'm not dating my boyfriend anymore but I still have feelings for him. Everything he comes over to hang out with my brother he tries to have sex with me. I want to but I'm scared.
Help?? (link)
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I'm going to be pretty blunt but honest in everything I say.
It really sounds like the only reason your boyfriend was interested in you was to have sex. If he is the one that broke off the relationship then is almost certain. If you broke off the relationship or it was mutual then you can probably think back to times he only wanted sex from you and nothing more. It happens.
If you have sex with him now you will become an emotional wreck. This may not happen right away or it may. You may become completely obsessed with him--I know people who have done this down to stalking a person, risking their own lives in certain situations. Women naturally grow emotional attachments to sex-partners, regardless of actual relationship status. You already know you have an attachment to him, but the thing is he does NOT feel the same attachment to you or he would be wanting something non-sexual with you. You are only sex to him and nothing more.
What will happen if you do have sex with him is this. You will have sex with him and he will leave, maybe not right away but it will get to that. He will simply get his jollies and leave the situation as if nothing happened between you two. He will, most likely, lead you on to believe he does like you but will never be with you again in a non-sexual way. He will lead you on so he can keep coming back for more sex--he may SAY he loves you but isn't sure of a relationship or some other crap like that. Why is this, you may ask. It's because he has figured out how to get what he wants. Many, many, many girls fall for this.
He honestly does not want to be with you.
He honestly just wants to have sex with you.
If you give into him, you're going to feel like trash later on.
Women want to be fulfilled not only sexually but emotionally by their partners. It's human nature for a woman to want to stick with one man, and this goes back to cave-men days when men protected women and supplied them with foods when they were tending to young/being pregnant. You aren't going to change your biological state so you are always going to be attached to sexual partners.
The girls who end up falling for this are left with emotional issues for YEARS, if not their entire lifetime. They feel inadequate and worthless so they tend to fall into relationships with guys who become abusive or unfaithful. Sometimes the girls don't even realize that it stems back to being sex-buddies with someone they developed feelings for so they have to go to therapy just to learn that much about themselves.
These women are more likely to be used, abused, and left. They are more likely to allow themselves to become sex objects. Some of these women end up falling into prostitution in severe cases after feeling emotionally rejected by various sexual partners (they become to believe that they are only good at/for sex).
By having sex with him you aren't doing yourself any favors. Having sex won't make things magically all better about the break-up either so please don't fool yourself into such things. You are worth more than sex, I know you are. Please do not degrade yourself like this.
I really hope I've helped you open your eyes to what you've been considering getting yourself into. If you have any more questions regarding this subject please feel free to ask me :)
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i asked this question on another site, i just need more peoples opinions with what might be going on
so, i have always had a regular period, every 23 days i have my period.. i had unprotected sex on the 22 day and so i was suppose to get my period the next day(monday) and i still haven't gotten it..and people have told me you cant get pregnant a couple days before you get your period because your not ovulating, so my question is can sex cause changes in your cycle.. i also have been having sex for over a year and its never changed before.. but maybe it has now?
( we did use a condom but it broke) (link)
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A woman ovulates, roughly, 14 or 15 days from the beginning of her last period; however, if your period is not a perfectly exact 28 day cycle then this can be thrown off. Ovulation lasts only a few days meaning about two or three) each cycle. Your body's temperature slightly changes during this time and you secrete more cervical mucus to ensure there is enough for sperm to travel in properly. During this time sperm that entire your body are able to live slightly longer than usual. Sperm typically can live in a woman's body for 5 - 7days, though it is not unheard of to find a few still alive at the two week mark.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg. Sperm are well equipped to find their way to their goal and they will do anything to ensure fertilization.
Also, ovulation is actually when you are at your peak fertility zone. Basically, you are equally fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes). So, this means you can get pregnant during ANY day of your regular cycle equally and you have more chance of becoming pregnant during ovulation.
Ovulation tends to last a couple of days. Usually sometime during this travel is when the egg becomes fertilized and it attaches to your uterine wall when it reaches your uterus. Sometimes the egg is fertilized in the uterus; sometimes the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube way too early and a baby begins to grown in the tube (which can cause MAJOR issues and can be very dangerous).
It can be extremely difficult to tell if you're ovulating or not if you're not keeping a very close track on your daily discharge and internal temperature. Many things can also throw off your regular ovulation cycle such as: stress, hormonal birth control, antibiotics, weight loss and gain, and major diet changes.
In short, just because you engaged in sexual acts right before your period does not mean you aren't at risk for a pregnancy. You may want to purchase a home pregnancy test after a couple more days to see what it says. If you are in doubt and your period is still late after a couple of days you should make an appointment at your doctor's office for a pregnancy test, as those are much more accurate than home versions.
I hope I've helped you out in understanding how your body works. If you have any other questions regarding this matter feel free to ask me :)
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I have been on the birth control lutera for about 5 months now. Everything is fine but I always find myself forgetting to take it at the right time. My gyno said that if I miss one, it doesn't matter just take two the next day. I have never missed two in a row; but I have made it a habit of missing one day, then taking two the next.
my question is, if I have been taking two every other day (for the most part), is the pill still effective?
I'm asking this because I got my period a week early, and that isn't suppose to happen when you're on bith control I thought... (link)
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Your gynecologist was right and wrong in telling you that you are still sexually protected from pregnancy if you take two pills when missing one.
First off, I want to note this:
It is correct that the hormonal birth control pill is 99.7% effective when used in perfection. This means that you should be taking your pill at the EXACT SAME TIME every single day, no alterations to your body or lifestyle. Even if you're only a couple of hours off, you have increased the chances of a pregnancy. The longer you wait in between taking pills, the higher chances of pregnancy.
With TYPICAL use of the hormonal birth control, a woman is 92% protected from pregnancy. However, one should take into consideration that even with a 92% effective rate, there is an estimated 8 in every 100 women who will become pregnant from typical usage. This being said, you should be taking as many precautions as humanly possible to prevent a pregnancy (along with STD/STI transmission). In addition, you are not even taking the pill on "typical" standards so you are extremely low regarding the pregnancy protection situation.
When your doctor told you to take two pills after skipping one he/she did not mean that it was okay to do this back-to-back days. It is very unhealthy for your body and is not helping much to decrease your chances of pregnancy. It is likely that you actually ovulated (which is what the pill is trying to prevent in the first place) and that is why you started your period.
In short, it's acceptable to double up on pills ONCE every so often (once a month is probably okay but not recommended by any means) but you should try your hardest not to do this. If you need to, purchase a wristwatch that has a timer on it and have it go off at the same time every day to remind you to take your pill.
It is good you've never missed two days in a row so keep that one up, but try better to take the pill every single day at the same time. You really want to use other protection when engaging in sexual intercourse since the pill is not as effective as you may have once thought, especially that you are not taking it as directed.
I hope I've helped you figure out what's going on with your body. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me :)
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okay.this is going to be long but if you need to know more about type two diabetes here is a link to a website that defines diabetes
http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/diet/diabetes/s
ymptoms_control.htm
so basicallly. i live in england and am a 14/f
i weigh 100 kg. thus (big suprise) i am obese.
that's one of the symptoms/causes of type 2
diabetes.
the other symptoms are:
Excessive thirst
Passing of excessive amounts of urine
Fatigue
Frequent skin infections e.g. boils
Itchiness
Blurred vision
Cuts or sores that take a long time to heal
but for me:
Excessive thirst- i don't really think i drink too
too much but i can't deny that i drink a lot but i
think i have always been that way, so i'm not sure.
Passing of excessive amounts of urine- okay this is
complicated. se since i was a kid, i have had
problems wetting the bed. recently i've been
stopping and now in the night i can't get to sleep cos i keep thinking i need to go to the toilet which i do (every10 secs!) but barley any pee comes out so does it count?
Fatigue- i'm generally sleepy person but no more than usaul which is saying a lot because it's midnight although i'm yawning but i did i wen't to sleep lat ight at 330 am and woke up about 1 pm . is that sleepng for too long?
Frequent skin infections e.g. boils - no boils but we just got a cat and recently my les have in sore and itchy where the cat scrathed me. no infections however but i have strech marks
Itchiness
as mentioned cat allergies as well as hayfever so not certain. i'm not trying to excuse my itchienes but when i hug my cat then my eyes get itchy after so i'm sure it's the cat. i'm not sure about my legs but my mom (who is a doctor) says it's cos the cat scrathed my and the marks on my legs show some wierd thiing to do with glands that i can't remeber
Blurred vision - i wear glasses so thee's no way to tell
Leg pain - i'm not sure what defines leg pain but i super clumsy so i constantly twist my leg and i'm double jointed so as of yester day i'm on crutches and it hurts so i dunno
Cuts or sores that take a long time to heal the scrathes on my legs have been the same for a few days but i can't tell
one last thing, i really don't wanna go to the doctors because as i'm under 16 my mom would find out and i don't want her of all peole, to find out because she is a mean person. is ther a sure way for me to find out withut her finding out that i have it or not?????? help me!!!!!!!
(link)
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From the information you supplied, it doesn't sound like you have diabetes at all. Everything you mentioned about signs of diabetes can be something completely different, take for example:
Excessive thirst - Larger people need to drink more water. We (yes, I'm overweight too) have more body than thinner people so we need more water to keep everything hydrated. In addition, if you aren't drinking at least 6 8oz glasses of pure water (no additives in it for flavoring) then you are probably dehydrated anyway. Your body will crave WATER but when you grab a soda or juice it isn't hydrating you as well so your body still craves more and more, hoping to get enough clean fluid (water) to hydrate you properly.
Passing of excessive amounts of urine - Having a bed-wetting problem and going to go full-pee every 30 minutes is totally different. In addition, it sounds like you have a bladder issue--like a small or overactive bladder. It's common and I knew of a guy who wet the bed when he was 19 because of a very overactive bladder. You can speak to your doctor about this and they may help you have more insight on the problem, and might be able to help you with a medication to slow the process down.
Fatigue - You are overweight. Overweight people tend to be less active, which is one reason they are overweight. Their bodies carry more weight so they tire easier than thinner people. I suggest exercising daily, regardless of how tired you are that day. If you take steps to keep active then you WILL feel a lot better. I am overweight and always tired, but when I joined Curves (a fitness place for women) I noticed a large increased amount of energy on the days I actually worked out.
Frequent skin infections e.g. boils - Cat scratches aren't skin infections. Skin infections means you get random bumps that come up on your skin for no reason, and these bumps have puss in them when you pop them open. An infected cat scratch wouldn't even mean anything, it only means you allowed dirt to get into a wound. Stretch marks have NOTHING to do with skin infections, it only means you're overweight in your case. Your skin has stretched as far as it could so it left marks where it stretched to it's limits to allow your body to expand. You can decrease stretch marks by purchasing lotions specifically for this problem, but if you don't lose weight you'll always have them.
Itchiness - They are not talking about allergies at all with this symptoms. They are saying that if you randomly, frequently become very, very itchy for no reason (or are always itchy for no reason) then you have a sign. This would better be said by "unexplained itchiness" to clear up misconceptions.
Blurred vision - There is a way to tell even though you wear glasses. When you have your glasses on, can you still see clearly? If things are blurry then you are experiencing blurry vision. Your glasses were made to compensate for the loss in your eyes, having them equal out to a decent 20/20 vision. If you still have problems with blurred vision THEN something is wrong or your prescription needs to be changed because your eyes have gotten better/worse.
Leg pain - Again, this would better be explained with beginning with "unexplained" rather than just an overall let pain. If your lets randomly become achy and painful for no reason at all THEN you have a symptom. If you actually fell or twisted your leg then it has nothing to do with diabetes but your own clumsiness.
Cuts or sores that take a long time to heal - This means that a cut or sore you have experienced is simply not going away. I would say that a few days to a week is nothing to worry about, but weeks or months is something that is serious because your body is not healing itself properly. Some wounds naturally heal faster than others depending on how deep and large they are so you have to take that into consideration as well.
If you truly feel that you may be diabetic (and I simply do not think any of the "symptoms" you "experience" is even remotely suggestive of diabetes) then you NEED to make a doctor's appointment for a small blood test. They can usually just prick your finger and tell right away if you have blood sugar issues.
To lessen your risk of diabetes you need to become more active and drink more water. This is your life we're talking about and not taking care of yourself will shorten it dramatically. Please consider doing something to improve your overall health, diabetes or not.
So, in short, I wouldn't worry about you having diabetes just yet but you are probably high-risk for it. Do your best to get healthier so you don't have to worry about these problems in the future. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me :)
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13, female
for some reason, my vagina always smells like pee and its extremely strong. you can smell it if your in the same room as me. and when i poo, i smell really bad there too
my underwar is also always bleached at the crotch and some have holes in them. I know its not an std or anything because i've never has sex before (i'm only 13)
but whats going on? can someone help me with these two problems
and also, my white underwar is always brown and poo stained at the crotch. how can i stop this as well as the other things?
my pee also smells really bad. i know this is a lot of questions but i really need help (link)
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First off, the reason your panties are bleached out white and have little holes in the crotch area is because vaginas are actually somewhat acidic. Some vagins are more acidic than others. I have a pair or two of panties that I've noticed this has happened to and I've figured out that if I change panties pretty frequently I do not have these weird looking crotches. Many women have the white-stained/holey panty-crotch issue--some even have it so bad that they have to throw panties away every few weeks because the holes appear so quickly.
I also want to suggest that you may not be wiping yourself correctly after using the bathroom. This may lead to your panties getting holes in them quicker than normal. Make sure that you always wipe even after you pee because pee is, obviously, acidic. You may want to wipe a few times even to make sure everything is cleaned off. Do NOT use wet-wipes of any sort on your vaginal area because it can cause infections. If you are in doubt about cleaning properly then jump in the shower and wash off down there.
Next, if you are experiencing something that appears of be poo stains then you simply aren't wiping correctly or thoroughly. Wipe your bottom until you do not have any more poo on the tissue, which means you may need to start looking at the paper if you haven't before. It may also be very helpful to purchase some flushable wipes to use after you have cleaned off with regular tissue paper. There are many different brands such as Kleenex Cottonelle, Scott Flushables, and even a Wal-Mart Equate version that smells pretty pleasant.
By using a flushable wipe after you get the matter off of your bottom with regular toilet paper you will help freshen your body up if it is causing odor. Wipe the area well with the wipe and try to clean off the actual rectum, and this may require you to take one finger and clean all around and on it thoroughly. Do not ONLY use flushable wipes--only use a couple after you have used regular toilet paper.
In addition to becoming more aware of wiping and using flushable wipes after, you may need to up your showering to twice or thrice a day. Some people simply need to shower more than others. Remember that in the shower you should be cleaning your vaginal area with only water (no soap) and your bottom (with soap). Rinse off everything thoroughly after you've soaped up so there's nothing left to cause weird scents later on.
If your urine smells exceptionally bad one reason might be the lack of pure water in your body. If you don't drink enough water, your kidneys are damaged and put through a lot. Make sure to drink at least 6 8oz glasses of plain water each day. Your urine should not be a strong or dark colored yellow--it should be a very light colored yellow. If it's a strong-looking yellow then chances are you didn't have nearly enough water intake.
So, in short:
Change your panties more often, maybe one or two more times more frequently during the day even.
Wipe more after using the toilet.
Notice toilet tissue after you have wiped to make sure everything waste-like is off.
Purchase flushable wipes and wipe up thoroughly after using regular toilet tissue. Do not use flushable wipes on the vaginal area.
Up your daily shower to two a day, paying special attention to the vagina and rectum.
Drink more water.
I hope I've helped you figure out how to solve your panty problem :) If you have any more questions regarding this subject then please feel free to ask me!
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First off, i should say i've never spotted between periods so i'm relatively freaked out.
2 nights ago, I pleasured myself using an object.. and since then i have been spotting. it isn't too heavy, and the blood is mostly 'dead'. I've also noticed, today, a large chunk of some pale yellow/white substance, which i typically have after a few hours of panty use; however, this chunk is clumped up. I only had abdominal pain if i pressed upon my lower tummy (i don't anymore)and the first night i just felt a little weird, no pain came on its own (but that could have been just stressed about the spotting)
i am sexually active, my last period was like 10 days ago, and i should mention it was the most painful period i had ever had in my life. they have never been that bad.
i took a Labcorp pregnancy test 5 days ago and it was negative.
i'm pretty sure it's just a vaginal injury. i really would like to know what i should do to recover.
thanks. (link)
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It does sound like you have injured your vagina, pretty bad at that if you are bleeding after two days and chunky things are exiting your body.
I would guess that you may have an infection, as I cannot figure out what "chunky pale yellow/white" things could be other than some sort of yeast or bacterial infection.
A yeast infection isn't really a big deal and can clear up with some over the counter medication; however, a bacterial infection can be very serious and can leave your body with a lot of trauma if not treated by a professional.
Bacterial infections are caused by the same things yeast infections are caused from--sex, tight clothes, vaginal injuries, douching, etc. Oddly enough, they also start out with the exact same symptoms of a yeast infection. The only catch is that it cannot be cleared up with over-the-counter medication and can cause major damage, including infertility and something referred to as Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.
The bacteria that cause BV can infect the uterus and fallopian tubes.
PID can cause abscesses, scarring and damage to your reproductive organs. This can cause pelvic pain, infertility and ectopic pregnancies. Ectopic pregnancy is where a fetus starts to develop outside the womb (usually in a fallopian tube). The fetus won't survive and needs to be removed and may rupture the tube. The sooner PID is treated, the better.
Around 3 in 10 women with PID develop chronic pelvic pain. About 1 in 10 women who have had PID can no longer have children as a result of damage to their fallopian tubes.
For those women with PID who do go on to get pregnant, up to 1 in 20 will have an ectopic pregnancy. There may also be complications with childbirth, such as having a pre-term baby or passing on the infection to the baby.
BV is treatable with antibiotics prescribed by a health care provider. Two different antibiotics are recommended as treatment for BV: metronidazole or clindamycin. Either can be used with non-pregnant or pregnant women, but the recommended dosages differ. For reference, BV can recur after treatment.
Please see your doctor as soon as possible to get yourself checked out. You really don't want to be suffering pain years later because you were too foolish to seek medical attention when it was required. I hope everything will be okay and the doctor finds an easily treatable issue.
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So, I've noticed this for almost all my life, and I've just assumed it's nothing to worry about, but I just want to know if it's what I've been assuming all along.
There's like...some kind of hole right above where my butt ends, and it doesn't go into my body or anything. It's almost like a belly button, except it's not in the right place you know? I've just always assumed I was born with a tail, and it was removed immediately after birth like most people who do are born with them.
Am I right or not? I would ask my doctor, but it's not really life-threatening to me, so I kind of don't want to pay the copay money just to see her over that :) (link)
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I would say it's very possible you were born with a tail, but there isn't going to be any way for us to confirm this or not.
It seems that tails may be more common then most of us think:
"One out of every 16 children is born with defects. Most of these are minor, such as the babies born with tails. When a baby is born with a tail, the doctors cut it off right away. Most people do not know if they had a tail."
http://www.odd-info.com/body.htm
I suggest talking with your regular doctor about it the next time you go for whatever reason. They may be able to check out the area and actually tell if something has been removed at some point.
I would think that a tail removal wouldn't leave a place looking like a belly-button though. A tail would be much like a limb on your body, or even a finger at that. With the removal of such things you aren't left with an indent, but, rather, a scarred up surface.
You see, you are born with your body already being aware that your umbilical cord will be removed from the body. If you notice when a baby is born, the umbilical cord does not resemble a limb attachment at all. The naval itself is sort of already formed with the cord extending from inside of it. See what I mean here:
http://newborns.stanford.edu/images/Cord.jpg
While a tail is more like an actual attachment:
http://www.thefetus.net/images/article-images/Musculoskeletal/tail_fernando_files/Tail-man.jpg
...which would mean removal would leave a scar, not an actual indentation. There would need to be a reason to actually dig INTO the body with the removal and I really don't envision doctor's doing such, especially that it is so close to the spinal cord. You can see that it has nothing to do with an extended spinal cord, as many animals' tails are, here:
http://www.thefetus.net/images/article-images/Musculoskeletal/tail_fernando_files/Tail-man2.jpg
Anyway, I wouldn't worry much about it right now as it could be something like a serious injury you had as a baby that you cannot recall. It may also just be a birth defect in itself--an unusual indentation.
So, in short, have your doctor check it out the next time you go in, but I definately wouldn't make an appointment just for this like you said.
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i thought that if u have sex on your perioud then you cant get pregnet it just feals nasty what do you think? (link)
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You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually. Yes, there is chance you could have been impregnated if you had sex while on your period, even at the start or end of it.
There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.
Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is always another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days (5 - 7 in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions).
So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur. You should always be using some sort of "protection" to lessen (they don't prevent) pregnancy and STD/STI risks.
On another note, you ovulate roughly midway through your cycle. So, if you have a normal 28-day cycle you ovulate 14 days into it. For three or four days there you are at your most fertile state. However, if your cycles are abnormal then it's doubtful you'll be able to figure out when you're ovulating; although your internal temperature and discharge would tell you a lot (you expel more sticky discharge for these days).
To make it a little more clear, you are pretty much equally as fertile throughout your entire cycle, only when you ovulate you are a little more fertile than usual. There isn't a time when you are not fertile or less fertile than usual.
Anyway, back to discharges:
1. Before ovulation- There will be a small amount of (mostly) clear discharge.
2. Closer to ovulation- Discharge is wet and sticky. It is usually white/lightly cream colored. There is usually some mucus but it isn't as stretchy as it will be during ovulation.
3. At ovulation (roughly midway from your last period)- There will be a noticeably larger amount of discharge lasting a few days. It resembles stretchy egg whites. You are most fertile here (high risk pregnancy) and sperm entering your vagina will be able to survive slightly longer than other times.
4. After ovulation- Discharge is sticky but not as stretchy. Mostly clear, dwindling back to the "before ovulation" stage.
Many things can change the discharge you experience so it's best to not try to figure it out that way, to be honest. If your periods are irregular, you take hormonal birth control, have been taking an antibiotic, have been under a lot of stress lately, and many other things can all cause your discharge to change.
Anyway, a woman can get pregnant at any point in her cycle. It is always best to practice safe sex to reduce these chances if you are going to engage in such activities. It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sex ;)
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Better to be informed and knowledgeable of something in case something goes wrong--you won't be caught off-guard then! Take some time to get yourself informed before jumping into things.
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(sorry in advance if it's a disgusting description)
16/f lately i've seen what looks like blood in my stool. it's relatively bright red and looks like streaks going vertically on the stool. (as if coming off as it comes out) what could be the cause of this? should i look for any other symptoms that could mean something? (link)
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It sounds like you have some internal damage going on. It's probably best to see a doctor at this time before things get worse, and they usually do.
Rectal bleeding can be very serious, especially if you are also menstruating. The loss of blood may cause dizziness, fainting, weakness, low blood pressure, etc. People with signs and symptoms of a reduced volume of blood often require emergency hospitalization, and transfusion of blood. With there being much blood coming out of your rectum along with your normal amount of menstrual blood, I would probably be quite concerned for your health at this point.
Moderate to severe rectal bleeding, which I assume yours would be classified as since you say it's obvious there is blood, is usually treated in the hospital. You may even need to stay a few days if it's severe while they check you and try to fix whatever has gone wrong.
Many diseases and conditions can cause rectal bleeding (varying in degree of severity, of course). Common causes include: anal fissures, hemorrhoids, cancers and polyps of the rectum and colon, diverticulosis, abnormal blood vessels (angiodysplasia), ulcerative colitis, ulcerative proctitis, Crohn's colitis, infectious colitis, ischemic colitis, and Meckel's diverticula.
Diagnosing rectal bleeding relies on the history and physical examination, anoscopy, flexible sigmoidoscopy, colonoscopy, radionuclide scans, angiograms, and blood tests.
Your age alone may offer an important clue to the cause of rectal bleeding. For example, moderate to severe rectal bleeding in teenagers and young adults is more likely to come from a Meckel's diverticulum. Moderate or severe rectal bleeding among older individuals is more likely to be due to diverticulosis or angiodysplasias. Mild rectal bleeding in an adult with prior abdominal radiation treatment may be due to radiation proctitis.
The absence of other symptoms also may provide important clues. Bleeding from diverticulosis, angiodysplasias, and Meckel's diverticula are usually not associated with abdominal or rectal pain. Rectal bleeding from ischemic colitis is often preceded by the sudden onset of lower abdominal, crampy pain. Fever, abdominal pain, and diarrhea often occur with colitis due to infection, ulcerative colitis, or Crohn's colitis. Mild bleeding accompanied by pain in the anal area during defecation (passing of stool) suggests bleeding from an anal fissure. A recent change in bowel habit such as increasing constipation or diarrhea suggests the possibility of cancer of the colon.
To actually treat rectal bleeding you must correct the low blood volume and anemia, diagnose the cause and the location of the bleeding, and stop active bleeding and prevent rebleeding. For this, a doctor is definately required.
Please make a hospital visit this evening if you can. This shouldn't wait any longer than it already has. You are not in a good state and things can become worse in no time. Please seek help now.
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ok. its been about 2 yrs that have lost my virginity with a guy which i thought would be mine. but it happens that he left me the next day without any reason. what have heard with freinds that he is a playboy...
now am in a relation and my new boyfriend really loves me. we are planning to leave together in the future and so far didnt have sex with him. i feel guilty now cause he still think am a virgin. am dead. plz tell me what to do ... is it true that there are some steps that can be taken to camouflage the fact that am no more one ? is it true that, it may happen that you do not bleed the first time you have sex? (link)
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The right thing to do before anything is that you need to tell your current boyfriend the honest truth. Someone asked a question relating to this before and this was my answer, as it thoroughly relates to your question (the girl is a virgin but lied to her boyfriend about NOT being a virgin):
"Honestly, it sounds like you've put yourself into a world of mess.
For any relationship to work properly you have to communicate. This means not lying to your partner. When you lie to your partner and he/she later finds out there is going to be a lot of betrayal issues.
Trust me, lies always come out somehow, usually in hard times too.
This being said, I honestly don't think it sounds like you're ready to lose your virginity to this guy. If you cannot communicate honestly to him then it's unlikely you're prepared to let him really in your life. Lying to someone keeps them away from the real you and if you're going to give something as cherished as your virginity to him then he needs to know the REAL you.
This being said, you need to stop planning out how to make your relationship "go further" sexually and start figuring out how to open up and let your partner see the true you. He doesn't know who you are if you're telling silly little lies like this to him.
It almost sounds like you've started to believe your lie yourself. You're going through a lot of effort to hide the truth when you should be spilling your guts about all of your deepest, darkest secrets to your partner. Sex is a HUGE step, are you willing to make that HUGE step when you cannot even tell him the truth about your sexual (or lack of) past?
You know it isn't right to deceive anyone and that's what you're looking to do. Please be honest with your partner. He deserves to know the truth about you if you plan to make this relationship last.
The sooner you tell your partner the truth, the sooner you two can start growing together again. Expect him to be upset because this is a big deal but know that this is the right thing for you to do. I'm sure Advicenators can help to give you tips on telling the truth to your boyfriend about what you've been hiding."
Don't doom your relationship. Tell your boyfriend the truth. Open up to him and let the relationship have a real chance. Even if there is a big argument, you can get through it if you two really do love each other.
How to tell your boyfriend is very, very simple. Tell him that you two need to talk privately about something very serious. Get alone with him and just tell him the TRUTH for a change. Let him know that it was a mistake that you lied and you've felt awful keeping it from him but you KNOW he deserves to know the truth. Let him know that you're aware he may be hurt and upset and that he has ever right to but you knew you had to tell him to prevent any further hurt. Tell him you want the relationship to work out and that's why you're telling him the truth. Be honest, let him know why the lie even started and why you felt you had to be dishonest with him.
I apologize for not answering your question in the manner that you wanted but I'm really concerned about you and your partner's relationship. I want things to work out and you not be left, hurting because you didn't do the right thing.
I hope I've helped you figure out that your relationship needs to be worked on before going any further. I wish you well and if you have any question relating to this, please feel free to ask me! :)
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ok first off let me say thank you so much it was very helpful but if anything it made me way more worried. i am a very shy girl to begin with and still am a vergin i have had guys try to get in my pants but havent gotten far. so if i cant get a female doctor would you suggest taking someone or something to keep my mind off it? (link)
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If a guy had contact with your vaginal area then you are sexually active and you will need to tell the doctor that. You can tell the doctor, "I am sexually active because I have engaged in mutual masturbation with ## of guys; however, I have no engaged in intercourse." This ways he knows if you are at risk of something. Just as a side note, fingernails can and do carry disease like HPV and herpes.
You should ask your mother if the doctor is male or female first. You can also let her know that you would be more comfortable with a female doctor. Once you're at the doctor's office there is usually only one gynecologist available at a time.
You should bring someone with you to keep you relaxed in the waiting area but it's unlikely they would be allowed in the examining room. This is because many women use that alone time with the doctor to reach out for help in abusive situations. You can ASK for someone to be in the room with you if you really want but, again, it may not happen. Definitely bring someone to help keep you calm in the waiting room though :)
You may also want to write out a list of questions you have for the doctor if you do have any, such as STD/STI questions, birth control questions, or questions about the procedure. It's totally fine to sit down with him/her before, after, or even during the procedure to ask questions. Many women feel a lot more comfortable asking what the doctor is doing specifically as he/she is actually examining them. The more relaxed you are during it, the smoother it will go and before you know it, it will be finished.
I hope things go well at your appointment. If you have any more questions that I could answer please feel free to send them to me in my inbox here :)
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i am 15 and my mom thinks the way i dress is going to get me in trouble and i refuse to chiange so she said that i could still dress the way i do but she wants me to go on the pill so what does the exam entail? (link)
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A papsmear is usually an annual thing for all women. It's best to start having the tests when you begin having periods but most women tend to wait until they become sexually active.
Pap smears can be incredibly uncomfortable. Some women experience pain while others go through it like a breeze. It really depends to on the person and how skilled the doctor is.
In my personal experience, they are extremely uncomfortable and I have been known to cry during the procedure. I know that it's something I need to do each year to make sure that I am healthy so I continue with my check-ups. The procedure doesn't last very long at all and ensures that everything is working properly and is healthy so I endure it.
In short, the doctor will take a urine sample from you first to run a pregnancy test, usually. After taking your blood pressure and asking you a few questions regarding your sexual status (be honest, they've heard it all and are not allowed to inform anybody else of the information you provide them).
They then usually send you to a clean room to completely undress and lay on a table. The table has foot rests for your heels. You will be instructed to position yourself in a manner that is helpful for the doctor to work at. They will let you know how to lay and such. You may feel uncomfortable and embarrassed at this time but it is fairly normal and the doctor has seen plenty of naked bodies.
Your doctor may do a breast exam on you to begin with. He/she may also listen to your heart and lungs and press on your body and ask if you feel any pain anywhere. The doctor will then simply look at your vaginal area for signs of infections or visible STDs after switching on a very large, bright light at your vaginal area and gloving up. They may ask a couple of questions while doing this.
The doctor then will separate the walls of the vagina with a speculum. The speculum is a slender metal (or plastic in some cases) instrument that looks somewhat like a duckbill. It may be warmed or lubricated before being gently inserted into your vagina. With the speculum in place, they can visibly see your cervix.
Your clinician will then insert a special swab, brush, or stick to wipe off cells from inside the opening of the cervix and from the outer part of the cervix. The cervix can be very tender and this scraping can cause some bleeding and discomfort. It is not unheard of for this scraping to cause your legs to twitch.
The doctor will next place two gloved fingers into your vagina while their other hand gently presses on your lower abdomen. This identifies the size, shape, and position of your uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries. It can also let them know if you have any masses growing or any abnormalities.
The doctor may also do a rectal exam at the end of this procedure. Not all doctor's do this but it is no big deal either. They simply slide a finger or two into your anus to feel for masses and to check the back of your uterus.
The more you relax, the smoother things will go. It's okay to ask questions throughout the entire thing and your doctor already knows you are nervous so they are prepared for all sorts of things. If something is painful, it completely acceptable to inform the doctor about it.
I hope the doctor's appointment goes well and you are healthy.
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i'm not sure if this is true or not, but to me i see that girls only have TWO holes. but apparently i also hear that girls have THREE HOLES?!
1. butt hole
2. pee hole
3. sex hole??
is that true? if so, where is this "sex hole"? (link)
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You have three holes in your lower region. The first (closest to your front) is your urethra and this is where you urinate (pee) from. The second hole is your vaginal canal and this is where babies and menstrual blood exit from. The third is your anus and that is where your solid wastes exit you from.
Here is a decent diagram of how these three holes are laid out on your body:
http://www.middle-east-info.org/league/somalia/normalfemalegenitalanatomy.gif
As you can see, your vaginal opening is much larger than your urethra and is much higher up than your anal opening. Your vagina will also be a lot more moist in and around it than the other holes because it is constantly cleansing itself.
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I'm 16/f virgin and I've heard about a million things about sex. I've heard from my parents that I should wait until I'm married. I've heard from magazines that I can do it with anyone, but I should use a condom. In movies they make it seem like you can have as much sex as you want. Then you have others saying save your virginity while another group says things like you have to "test drive before you buy" kind of thing.
Who is right? Or because in this day and age that there are so few girls that have thier virginity that it's not important anymore?
Thanks,
A Virgin and proud (or possibly not).... (link)
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First off, you should hold your head up high in knowing that you are a virgin. Virginity still is special and it should be cherished a lot more than it is now.
I completely understand when you say that the media keeps telling you that it's safe to have sex with anyone you have sexual desires for. This is very untrue though and you can be left with many scars because of it.
Engaging in sex puts you in a difficult situation. You can be left with emotional issues but nobody really talks about that. The reason why your peers pressure you to have sex is actually fairly simple. They aren't having good sex and they feel bad and let down from what they believed was going to be awesome, and it's human nature to want to be socially accepted. They will pressure you to have sex because subconsciously they feel bad and want you to relate to them so they don't feel alone. These people simply want others to be like them so they know they are accepted.
The people who are telling you to have sex only want you to do it too because they are either hoping your sexual experiences are just like theirs so they won't feel alone and jipped, or so you give them something to talk about for awhile.
It's TRUE! I have had girls my age confess this very thing to me: "I pressured her into having sex with him because I had lost my virginity and, well, I knew it really wasn't great and I wanted her to feel bad with me."
In reality, sex was never that great for me with the boy I lost my virginity to. I regret it every day. It left me feeling inadequate--like something must be terribly wrong with me. Because of this I still feel like my vagina is wrong and weird. Just as a note, I lost my virginity about 7 years ago--YES, I STILL feel like my body is messed up because sex wasn't good and fun like everyone said it was.
If I could, I would take it all back and would keep my virginity. I wish I wouldn't have made that mistake years ago. What's crazy is that I believed the whole "wait until you're in a long-term relationship with someone you love and loves you" bullcrap. Yeah, I waited and was with the guy for a year and a half or so and was STILL left, STILL heartbroken, and STILL empty. Sex did not add fun like so many people claim.
Instead of making meaningless sex-memories, I wish I would have made true fun memories with my past. There are so many things I wish I would have done with my youth then (which, hey, I'm still youthful but you know what I mean probably). I wish I would have actually connected with my partner, heck, I wish I would have had enough sense to find a good partner that wouldn't deceive me. I wish I spent time learning about someone instead of trying to make something meaningless into something exciting.
If you have sex and something goes wrong then you will be scarred for the rest of your life. If things get out of hand, pregnancy occurs, you're hurt in some way, or you contract a STD from the activity you cannot take it back. You will have to carry that onto each and every partner you have after then. I'm not even talking about the emotional hang-ups that can develop from ONE activity.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. You'd be amazed at how many people have accidentally given their infant a STD--especially herpes. The child grows up thinking that their symptoms are normal because the parents are so ashamed.
Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and NO "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child (or children in the case of twins) means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.
For some shocking STD facts, check this out:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is also a link of photos of various STDs. Most of the photos are of males but there are a few female photos in there. Some are very scary. Don't worry about many photos popping up when you click the link, they're behind other links so you can choose which ones you might want to check out:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.
Here are some facts about how much a baby costs within the first year of life; you should really check it out just for future issues as the knowledge could come in very handy:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner.
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
...and here is a link about virginity too. It gives good examples of what they're talking about so you're able to understand them clearly:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
Trust me, one night of sex can really screw you over, especially when it entails losing your virginity. You set yourself up for so many mental and physical hang-ups it's ridiculous. Please protect yourself from going through heart-ache and future sexual issues.
Sex is not what other people say, I promise you. You shouldn't rush into it because you want to have fun and "enjoy" your youth. Enjoy your youth in less-harming ways. Look back at your past and have MEMORIES of THINGS YOU DID with others and not faded-out, half-assed memories of meaningless sex.
Keep your virginity and be worth something extra-special to your husband/wife in the future.
I hope that I've helped you open your eyes to a couple of things and informed you of facts you may have overlooked.
In addition, here are a couple of other Advicenators who are also wise in keeping their virginity:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=535643
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=535823
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