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i feel guilty
ok. its been about 2 yrs that have lost my virginity with a guy which i thought would be mine. but it happens that he left me the next day without any reason. what have heard with freinds that he is a playboy...
now am in a relation and my new boyfriend really loves me. we are planning to leave together in the future and so far didnt have sex with him. i feel guilty now cause he still think am a virgin. am dead. plz tell me what to do ... is it true that there are some steps that can be taken to camouflage the fact that am no more one ? is it true that, it may happen that you do not bleed the first time you have sex?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The right thing to do before anything is that you need to tell your current boyfriend the honest truth. Someone asked a question relating to this before and this was my answer, as it thoroughly relates to your question (the girl is a virgin but lied to her boyfriend about NOT being a virgin):
"Honestly, it sounds like you've put yourself into a world of mess.
For any relationship to work properly you have to communicate. This means not lying to your partner. When you lie to your partner and he/she later finds out there is going to be a lot of betrayal issues.
Trust me, lies always come out somehow, usually in hard times too.
This being said, I honestly don't think it sounds like you're ready to lose your virginity to this guy. If you cannot communicate honestly to him then it's unlikely you're prepared to let him really in your life. Lying to someone keeps them away from the real you and if you're going to give something as cherished as your virginity to him then he needs to know the REAL you.
This being said, you need to stop planning out how to make your relationship "go further" sexually and start figuring out how to open up and let your partner see the true you. He doesn't know who you are if you're telling silly little lies like this to him.
It almost sounds like you've started to believe your lie yourself. You're going through a lot of effort to hide the truth when you should be spilling your guts about all of your deepest, darkest secrets to your partner. Sex is a HUGE step, are you willing to make that HUGE step when you cannot even tell him the truth about your sexual (or lack of) past?
You know it isn't right to deceive anyone and that's what you're looking to do. Please be honest with your partner. He deserves to know the truth about you if you plan to make this relationship last.
The sooner you tell your partner the truth, the sooner you two can start growing together again. Expect him to be upset because this is a big deal but know that this is the right thing for you to do. I'm sure Advicenators can help to give you tips on telling the truth to your boyfriend about what you've been hiding."
Don't doom your relationship. Tell your boyfriend the truth. Open up to him and let the relationship have a real chance. Even if there is a big argument, you can get through it if you two really do love each other.
How to tell your boyfriend is very, very simple. Tell him that you two need to talk privately about something very serious. Get alone with him and just tell him the TRUTH for a change. Let him know that it was a mistake that you lied and you've felt awful keeping it from him but you KNOW he deserves to know the truth. Let him know that you're aware he may be hurt and upset and that he has ever right to but you knew you had to tell him to prevent any further hurt. Tell him you want the relationship to work out and that's why you're telling him the truth. Be honest, let him know why the lie even started and why you felt you had to be dishonest with him.
I apologize for not answering your question in the manner that you wanted but I'm really concerned about you and your partner's relationship. I want things to work out and you not be left, hurting because you didn't do the right thing.
I hope I've helped you figure out that your relationship needs to be worked on before going any further. I wish you well and if you have any question relating to this, please feel free to ask me! :)
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hi , you may not bleed the first time you have sex ,but mostly you do . But wait , you said that he really loves you , and I dont think it would bother him as much as it might if you kept this away from him longer then that. because pranticly you didnt cheat on him , and you love him
just try you best
good luck
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i'm sorry to hear about the boyfriend who left you after you had sex =(. the good news is that you probably only did it once with him, so it oculdnt have caused too much streaching down there.
the hardest, but probably best thing to do would be to be honest with him about what happened, if he loves you he will understand.
but if you dont want to do that it is possible that you dont bleed the first time. because you could have popped your cherry while riding a horse or a bike. you could use one of those excuses if he asks.
good luck with everything =]
hailey
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