I have studied psychology though I am not a psychologist or a licensed counselor of any sort. I'm an artist and writer and teach both to small private groups. I have worked with counselors by using art and writing projects at workshops to encourage people to open up, and I have been recommended by therapists to their clients to take my classes to help them understand more about themselves and what all is going on in their lives through art and writing. Though I'm not an art therapist, I use many tools from art therapy and my own experiences gleaned from counseling. I have always had the desire to help people and I do it in any way possible. Hopefully I can be of some help to many of you!
E-mail: susana182006-extra@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Occupation: artist & writer/teacher of both
Age: 52
Member Since: November 27, 2005
Answers: 116
Last Update: February 25, 2006
Visitors: 15853
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A guy friend of mine just recently announced that he was moving to another province for a job, that was about a 10 hour drive from where I live.
I was hoping that one day we would be bf and gf, so I was quite upset when he told me he was moving, and I said it was probably the last time we would see each other.
Well then HE got upset and said he was still going to visit me. Then when I invited him over he told me he would give me his old computer. Well he was true to his word, and gave it to me the next day.
My question is: Do you think it sounds like he is into me as more than a friend? I think he does because he just offered me his computer, he didnt ask for it. Also he got really upset when I said we would probably never see each other again. I think he gave me the computer so would could contact each other.
What do you think? (link)
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Yeah, I think this guy likes you! If he reacted the way he did when you said you guys wouldn't be seeing each other anymore, then that sure sounds like he likes you and will obviously miss you. Plus, he told you he planned to visit you. Why would he do that if he didn't like you? I think it's so cool that he gave you his computer! What a sweet thing to do. Don't just assume that he hopes to stay in contact with you via computer! Ask him for his e-mail address if you don't know it, and set up an account for yourself, letting him know your address. You'll probably find that he gives you a good reaction and you'll know for sure if he'd like to have that sort of communication with you. Now, if you already have a computer of your own, perhaps this was just a kind gesture - leaving you something of his to hold onto and to remember him by. Doesn't sound at all like he wants you to forget him just because he's moving.
Whether or not he ends up as your long-distance boyfriend, it certainly sounds like you have a great friend in this guy and I wouldn't discount that by any means! You never know what that could turn into!
Good luck. I hope you guys really do stay in contact. I'm guessing you'll both feel a lot better about this move if you do.
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17/f
is it wrong to think lustfully about others? i mean i can understand if it gets 2 be a constant thing and you objectify them, then its bad.. but is it really that bad 2 have inappropriate thoughts if its only ocasionally? please help
(link)
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If by "lusting" about others, you're talking about experiencing sexual attraction towards them, then that's pretty normal. No, you don't want to objectify people, but the strong desire of attraction is just a normal part of life. However, if you're thinking too often about sex or what it would be like to have sex with another person, then you want to be careful that you don't obsess. Again, this thought process, these feelings, are normal, you just don't want this stuff to rule your life.
Are you feeling that having these lustful thoughts is inappropriate because you don't think this is normal? Or, are your thoughts going beyond simple sexual attraction? Like, are you combining sexual attraction with unhealthy thoughts, e.g., feeling like you're close to practically stalking the person? It doesn't sound as though you've gone over the edge like that, so I would assume these thoughts are not necessarily inappropriate. HOWEVER, if these thoughts are directed towards a married person, e.g., a teacher, know that again, these kind of thoughts when we're younger are normal as long as you don't ACT on them. If for any reason, your lustful thoughts are directed towards younger children (you did NOT say this and I'm going to assume you didn't mean this, but you never know...), then yes this would be entirely inappropriate and would need to be dealt with swiftly and through counseling.
But, after all is said and done, I believe that you're just experiencing very normal feelings towards kids around your own age and that you need to not be so hard on yourself. A good fantasy life is healthy! Again though, just try not to obsess about these feelings. Have them, appreciate them, and move on without feeling guilty.
Let me know if this helps, OK? I don't want you beating yourself up over something that is just a part of life.
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Haha, just kidding, I've been dressing myself for years, but the problem is that I've just now discovered my fashion sense. I actually know what looks cute and what doesn't! Before I used to wear hoodies and jeans, or t-shirts and jeans to school every day,(I'm a little bit chubby, so I liked that extra padding to hide it) but now I know what looks ok. The only problem is that I'm afraid to wear it. It's my junior year of high school, and right in the middle of the year is kind of a weird time to "re-invent myself". How do I get over this fear? I want to wear scarves to school, and nice jackets, and skirts, but I'm scared! Thanks! (I'll rate high if your advice is good, which is generally the concept or rating anyway..) (link)
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There's no better time to "reinvent" yourself than NOW! (Or, you could wait until after the upcoming holiday season and go back to school in January all reinvented and wow everyone, which I suspect you will.) I know we all worry about how others view us, but if you could try to focus on what YOU want and how YOU feel when you make these changes - I'm reading that you want a change and that you mostly feel good with the idea of change - then you will emit positive energy and a sense of security about your inner SELF which is so important to work on anyway. If you hold your head up high, have good posture, and smile, how can anyone not pick up on that great energy! Sure, you may surprise some folks, but I believe that you'll receive some very good "appraisals" and great feedback! If you're still afraid after reading this message, then I would suggest that you start with small changes to move into the "new you" more slowly, if that would make you feel more comfortable. Maybe start with jeans and a nice jacket with a scarf. You can make yourself look cool and fashionable with only slight changes. Then progress towards the more dramatic changes as you feel more and more comfortable. Also, try to think of yourself as VOLUPTUOUS instead of "chubby." If you can work on your own self-esteem without relying on the opinions of others (that's hard, I know), then you'll surely make a smashing success! I bet you'll look great and feel great too! I love change and I love to surprise people with the changes I make with my appearance. Even though I've had my own insecurity issues, with fashion I've always pretty much had the attitude of "I like it, and if you don't, then SO WHAT!" You'd be amazed how much that kind of attitude (kept in your head, not necessarily said out loud) will change how you are viewed.
Good luck with the NEW YOU! Let me know how the "change" works out. I'm excited for you!
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Well I was going to apply to this new store at the mall that sells pretty high end stuff even though I don't have any experience in retail because I was talking to the chick at the counter yesterday. We were talking about McDonalds and how it makes you fat and she seemed pretty friendly.
I walk in and I see this girl who graduated last year and she was really really popular (infamous). She recognized me but didn't say anything even though last year at school she would sometimes comment on conversations my friends and I would be having in the washrooms. She looked like she works there.
So I walk up to the chick from yesterday and ask her if her manager was there. She said she was the manager and then I asked if I she could take my resume. She said ok but she was with a customer (this customer was standing pretty far from the counter but then I realized that she was getting ready to make a purchase). I was like SHIT and was "I'm so sorry" and backed to the side. The woman took about five minutes to purchase and I stood there trying to look confident and watching this cute little girl wandering around.
Then the manager moved to the side and talked to me. I gave her my resume (in a sheet protector) and she gave it back to me saying she wouldn't need it. She asked me what position I was looking for and I said part-time. Then I blurted out that my timings were at the back. She looked behind and read them out. I confirmed them.
She told me she had never seen a double-sided resume before (Most of my friends attach their resumes with two pages stapled together). I said thanks so much and left.
On the way out, the graduate chick was walking by me and I tried smiling at her but she didn't look at me so I was like... Did she just shun me?
So I don't think I'm getting a call back now and my friends want me to go shop there next week but for some reason I felt like that incident humiliated me. I don't know why I feel this way but it might be because of the chick that graduated (I avoid shops where the popular girls work because they either glare at me or stalk me).
When I told my friends about the event, they think it went ok. So am I just being stupid or did I actually screw up? (link)
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Screw up? How? I don't think so! Your interview with the manager of this store sounds like it went just fine...normal. You even developed a rapport with her when you two talked the day before about MacDonald's. That's great. I would suggest, though, that you get your resume down to one page and trash the sheet protector. If you want to give the hours that you're able to work, then just jot that down on another piece of paper. That sort of thing is not usually included in a resume. But, it's helpful for the person considering hiring you to have that kind of information available - with your name and telephone number included. I would not hesitate to call or, better yet, go into the store again and ask the manager if she's made a decision yet. Don't make a nuisance of yourself; give it a week or so. Employers like to see that someone is assertive and is really interested in the job for which they've applied.
About this graduate from your high school: You never mentioned whether or not YOU spoke to HER! If you didn't, why not? Maybe she's shy; maybe she's not remembering your name and that embarrasses her. In any case, you might want to be the first to make a move by way of a friendly gesture - other than just smiling at her. Don't wait for her to approach you - go for it yourself! Go up to her, say her name, remind her of who you are, and ask her how she's been and if she likes her job. Tell her that you really like this store and that you think it's so cool that she works there. That ought to get her talking.
I'd go with your friends to the store for your shopping trip. There was nothing you wrote that made me think you were purposely humiliated in any way. Maybe you felt that way, but it seems like everything went just fine except for your desire to have this other girl acknowledge you. Go into the store, have fun with your friends, and chat with the manager, if she's free, and this former highschool person! You'll probably make an even better impression than you did the first time, meaning I think you DID make a good impression...now you just want to continue on that road. Good luck getting this job or any other one you decide to try for!! And relax, for heaven's sake!
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Does Adobe make animation software? If so, wat is the latest one called? Where can I find it? Most importantly, how much does it cost?
I rate. (link)
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It appears that Adobe does make animation software and I found it by going to an amazon.com special site: http://www.otterit.co.nz/graphics/software.htm#animationsoftware This site seems to list a lot of different animation software packages you can get through amazon.com. Just click on the Animation Software link near the top of the page and you'll get to the right page. You might want to Google the brand name of a product you see on this site to find out more and to compare prices. the Adobe software is called Adobe After Effects 6.0. From amazon, it's cost is $299.99. Yep, a little steep, but what good software isn't? It's cool that you're into animation! I hope you find software that you'll be happy with!
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Does sex hurt the first time? (link)
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It depends. Because your body is not used to this sort of activity, there may be a little discomfort from penetration. However, if your guy is gentle, does a lot of foreplay to help prepare your body, and proceeds slowly then there is less possibility that you'll feel pain. If you are not lubricated enough (from foreplay) then use a lubricant for this (you can buy lubricants in the condom and/or feminine products section of a pharmacy). Even petroleum jelly (vasoline) can help. Also, pure coconut oil or cream is good for this and your guy can help you put it on! You can buy coconut oil or cream - the pure stuff - from a health food store. (It's good for giving massages also!) Since I'm sure you guys will be using a condom, there are condoms out there that have lubricant on them already. Just go slowly and try to relax. Ask your boyfriend to help you with this. Good luck, and be careful. (Just an extra comment, though you didn't ask about this: Make sure you ask yourself if this is really what you want right now. If it isn't and you're feeling pressured, there is more of a likelihood that you'll have some discomfort.)
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Alright
my "downthre" is just really raw and red and burns.
what is this?
What can I do to make it go away? (link)
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This sounds like it could be one of three things: "simple" feminine itching, burning and irritation; a yeast infection; or, the results of a bladder infection. If it's possible, I'd go to a gynecologist (GYN) and find out for sure what's going on. It sounds as though this has gotten really uncomfortable and over-the-counter meds may not help at this point. If for some reason you're not able to see a GYN right now, go ahead and try an over-the-counter med. I'd suggest first trying something for feminine itching, burning and irritation. A good one I've used is Vagisil. There are definitely others out there, so just read the labels advertising this problem. If it's a yeast infection, it's harder to find over-the-counter meds for this and you'll probably need a doctor's help. Also, eat lots of yogurt! If you have a bladder infection which would have symptoms like a constant desire to urinate even if you can't, burning sensation when you do urinate, and possible cramps in the lower part of your abdomen, then you will need antibiotics to clear this up. Sometimes if a bladder infection has gone on too long (and you may not even have symptoms of it), the acidic urine can cause irritation to your vaginal region. Good luck. I KNOW you can't be comfortable. Do know, though, that all girls/women go through this at least once (usually more) in their lives. P.S. While you have this irritation make sure you wear panties with a cotton crotch. Nylon or any other material can only irritate the problem.
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My boyfriend and I are constantly getting into debates about everything, especially religion and politics. We usually don't get that worked up, but I'm afraid it's going to do our relationship damage in the long-run. Is debating normal? Or should we avoid doing it in case we start fighting and potentially ruin our relationship? Do other people have experience with this...?
16/f (link)
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I sure have had experience with this potential problem! Disagreeing about certain issues is certainly normal, but debating them all the time shouldn't be normal. These two subjects are hot ones for friends and couples. I suggest one of three things:
1) agree to disagree without debating the issues; listen to each other's points of view and opinions and respect one another without judging, even if you disagree; learn from each other because this is "welcome to the real world" time and you're just getting started with hearing all sorts of opinions about issues that are important to you;
2) agree to stay clear of these two subjects and then do it;
3) if these subjects are very important to you and you honestly do NOT like your guy's thoughts and opinions (for example, they go totally against your beliefs), then it might be best to find someone else who thinks more like you do.
Good luck. You're right: you don't want this to turn into a constant battle which would definitely strain your relationship.
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Here goes my story I already know this girl for almost two years now and lately she is quite acting really wierd for the past three months now.. It goes like this I usually hear my name with one of her friends. Whenever I get close to her,her friends kinda laugh and they do some signallings with her. I usually catch her staring at me or doing eye contact.. And one thing she really cares for me like always keeps on telling me what things to do, What to wear and etc...At one time we have this contest about a play in English class.. At the back stage she suddenly said that she wants to put her hankerchief inside my pocket oh for pete's sake she could just put it inside her own pocket.. Im quite sure her pockets is empty.. And sometimes whenever I tease her she get's really mad Im mean not that Mad like in joking manner..and to top it all off when me and my classmates went on a practice at her house I notice something's wrong I noticed that all her relatives (ie, uncle,cousins,her mom) kinda smile at me and stared at me for a few seconds maybe she told her relatives about me. Well that's about it well I could put more examples but it's gonna be quite too long for just an advice hope this helps.. (link)
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I'm not quite sure from your question if you like this girl or not. If you do, then what she seems to be doing - according to your message - sounds rather normal for a teenage girl and her friends. It sure seems like she's trying to get your attention and her friends are typically in on this. If her family members are smiling at you and watching you, yes, she's probably told them about you, but I'd say by the way they're acting that she's only said good things about you. The business about her wanting to put a handkerchief in YOUr pocket just sounds as though she might have been trying to flirt with you a little bit. I'm sure she had a place for the handkerchief on her body, but she must have had a reason to ask you to hold it, don't you think? If you like her, why would that have bothered you?
NOW, if you're NOT interested in this girl and you don't like her attentions, then you need to have a kind and gentle talk with her. Are you giving her mixed signals? Let her know that you want to be her friend, but that you're just not ready for a relationship right now. I know no one really wants to hear that a person on whom he or she has a crush only wants to be a friend. However, it would be the kindest thing you could do for her rather than deciding that she's "weird" or just bothering you. And, a lot of girls (and guys) think that when someone is teasing them that that person likes them and just can't voice it. Maybe that makes her confused and she shows it with anger. Or, perhaps your "teasing" has gotten out of hand? Are you being sensitive, FUN (not annoying), and a real friend when you tease her? Or are you saying things that might hurt her feelings because you're not thinking before you play and speak. Not all teasing is pleasant and not all people like to be teased - especially about certain things. Ask yourself what you've been teasing her about and if you'd like the same teasing back if she, or anyone else, were to do it to you.
Anyway, try to figure out YOUR true feelings for this girl and then be honest with those feelings. You AND she will be better off for it.
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Well this guy, he asked me out and then we dated, for a week and a half, until i kind of thought he was getting closer to my friend, Emma.I talked to him on msn and asked him if he liked her, but he didnt say anything and then i go "Look i dont care about anything, all i want to know is do you still love me?" and he goes "Look there is no point, you have lost my trust what more can you lose?" and i go "I just want to know Do you like Emma?" and he said "Im sorry i cannot go out with you anymore." and he dumped me. Then next week, he blocked me and deleted me on msn..oh and he looks at me alot in class. We were playing volleyball in sport, and he would look at me alot and yeah. My other friend is in his roll call class and she said he looked upset in roll call class after he dumped me..Please help!! and also he is a goth (link)
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You didn't explain what this guy meant by his saying you'd lost his trust. If he was referring to your question via MSN (IM) re: your friend Emma, then that doesn't make a lot of sense that he says you've lost his trust. Though maybe he felt more like you'd lost trust in HIM because you asked that question and that hurt him. Unfortunately many of us are very insecure and a lot of people don't know how to handle that insecurity. Perhaps this guy is one of those people and he just doesn't know how to respond other than breaking up with you. But if he can't simply talk about problems - and that's such an important part of a relationship - then I'd say you're better off without him and you found out rather quickly which is a lot better than getting completely involved with this guy and THEN finding out that he avoids any sort of discussion about issues that are important to you. If he still seems interested in you - you said he looks at you a lot in class - then maybe you just need to catch him at school and simply ask him exactly what happened and why he won't talk to you about it because you're feeling confused. I suggest not asking him again if he still loves you. First find out what is really going on with him, if you can. If he doesn't respond or he acts like a jerk, then let the guy go! You deserve a lot better. P.S. You might want to work on this jealousy issue. OK, maybe the guy was overt (clearly flirting) with his attentions to your friend. But then again, maybe he was just being friendly? Try to learn to distinguish between the two. It will help you a lot in the future. Good luck!
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K so I hung out with this kid today.. and we amidiatly hit it off (that I know of) and we hung out all day. and he held me and we kissed and everything.. But he always teases me by looking at me but not kissing me and just looking away in a teasing way. Well Im not sure if he likes me if he is playing me or what. I have really bad trust isues because I have been hurt by so many guys. I would really like to think he really likes me, because If so id like to go out with him maybe! What should I do? Im going to be seeing him tomorrow also! (link)
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It sounds like this guy likes you already! Why would he hang out with you if he didn't? And, why would you two be kissing if he didn't? Sounds to me like he was trying to be playful with you when he teased you with the "I'm going to kiss you...not now" routine. That may have been a little hard to know what exactly he was doing, but my guess is that he was trying to be sexy and get you really wanting a kiss from him. If you'll notice, this is done sometimes with TV characters. The teasing is supposed to make the other party desire the teaser more. OK, maybe he went a little far with this, but I doubt that he was teasing you because he doesn't like you! Seems like just the opposite. But hang tight and see what happens when you're with him again. You say that you'd like to go out with him. Aren't you doing that already? If you're not really on dates when you guys are doing all this kissing, you might want to consider slowing things down a bit and backing off of this intimacy until you know where this relationship is going. Please don't let it go further than this at this point. I think you'd become more confused than you are now. If you have trust issues, then follow your instincts and play it a little cooler. You don't have to be totally unavailable just because you have trust issues - you SHOULDN'T allow yourself to be unavailable because we ALL have been burned at one time or another. My advice to protect yourself is to just go easy, don't rush into anything, and don't be so willing to put yourself completely "out there" to be hurt. I wish you lots of good luck with this guy!
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please dont judge me for this iam looking 4 help not to be yelled at. i am 15 and a smoke. i want to knoe how can i quit? (link)
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Yea! You're a smart kid. You started smoking at an early age and you want to quit at an early age! How great. You should be very proud of yourself. Too many people who start so young just keep it up until it is harder than hard! I know this from experience. If you have friends who smoke and they're unwilling to refrain from doing it when you're around, then try to limit your time with them for now. Let as many people know as you can about your wonderful and courageous decision so that you can have as much support as you'll need. Throw away all of your ashtrays, lighters and any other paraphernalia you might have that has to do with smoking. Even now, while you're smoking, tell yourself ALL the time that you are a NON-smoker. If you can get this in your head, it should help you view yourself differently and can help you get stronger and stronger with your decsion. Joining a support group might be very helpful to you, whether it be in person (look in the phonebook, ask your doctor or school counselor, call the American Lung Association for a group near you) or on-line. An interesting site that helps with quitting smoking is http://www.quitforyou.org/. There you will find information that is helpful as well as several blogs from folks (adults) who are right now in the process of quitting. I wish you lots of luck. I know you can do it because you've already come to the most intelligent part of it all - YOU WANT TO QUIT SMOKING! Good for you!
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Ok, this is a total random question and is basically for anyone who has seen a ballet. Im in my ballet studio's The Nutcracker and Im the sugar plum fairy, I was wondering should I smile? would it make it less graceful or better? (link)
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I would talk to your ballet teacher about what he or she is expecting from you in your role as the sugar plum fairy. It has been my experience in dance classes and productions as well as having watched many productions, that most dancers - especially ballet dancers - do not smile while performing. Of course you don't want to look angry! Most ballet dancers look slightly aloof and mostly like they are completely into the ART of dancing - meaning, they are not there to please the audience with smiles which may distract from the art of your performance.
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i had a debit card, keyword had. i gat it because i would lose my wallet often, and my money, i though that debit cards didnt allow you to go over your limit. that is evidently not true, i racked up $218 dollars in debt, without a single transaction being more that 10 dollars, i was then charged $60 for every overdraft, but the card was still accepted. is that supposed to happen? (link)
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1) I would talk to someone at your bank about how your particular debit card works. 2) I would be very conscious about recording each and every transaction in your checkbook so that you are completely aware of what your bank balance is. It has always been my understanding that a debit card will not be accepted if there is not enough money in the bank. However, if you make a lot of transactions in one to two days, they may not be recorded with the bank in time for another transaction, thus you may indeed go over your limit...as you seem to have done. The key here is to keep track of these transactions. If you don't keep your checkbook with you at all times, then keep a tiny notebook with you so that you can write down each transaction and later record it in your checkbook.
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im 16.. im in love with a guy that is 15. we went out for 4 months. but ive known him for almost 3 years now. i lost my virginity to him. one day we did it and everything was normal. the next day he calls me and says, "lets take a break, then when i think we are ready to make this a serious thing ill ask you back out." i was just like um okay? well then a couple days later i hear hes going out with some chick from his school. so hes "taking a break with me" to go out with some other chick. that really hurt me. because im in love with him. well i saw him and he didnt say anything to me. he kept like 10 feet away from me. and i was pissed off about the whole situation. then the next day i call him to talk about everything going on and he called me a b**** and i was like why are you calling me that? and he was like i heard what you said to people last night about me. i was like what did you hear? hes like you just trash-talked about me the whole night to my friends and family. and he hung up on me. so i call him back and left him a message, because he didnt answer, and i was crying and i said "the only thing i said to anyone was that i was in love with you". and that is the first time i told him how i felt about him. ive never told him i was in love with him before. and i havent heard from him since. what should i do about this whole situation and the next time i see him? and i see him quite often because my mom works for his dad. i dont know what to do PLEASE help. this may turn into suicide. he was the only thing i had. (link)
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I'm so sorry that you're going through this tough time right now. You sound pretty desperate and that concerns me. First of all, one of the reasons why it is suggested that one wait until he or she is older to have sex is so that you can really know if you're in love with a person who is in love with you, and so that you've had relationship experiences under your belt - without sex being involved. Unfortunately, it is all too common for girls to take sex much more seriously than boys. At your friend's age, he is one huge raging hormone and is probably not thinking at all about serious commitments, but just about having fun. You, on the other hand, were obviously thinking more along the lines of giving yourself and your love to this guy by way of sex, hoping for some sort of commitment. I don't blame you there. However, you guys really are awfully young to make such a serious commitment. This comment does NOT mean that I like the way he is treating you. I don't! But he sounds like the type of guy who would have done this to you eventually whether you had had sex with him or not. Having had sex with him probably just made it happen sooner rather than later. It really sounds like this guy wants to "experiment," and you were caught in his experimenting. I'm sorry for that. My suggestion now is that you back away from this guy, as hard as that sounds. When you see him, just smile and keep walking. Don't look for anything from him and don't expect anything from him. He may come around and he may not. But you need to keep your distance because he obviously is acting like he's been backed against a wall by being told someone is in love with him and hearing that she's telling a lot of people about her feelings. That can be pretty scary to hear sometimes, AND, if he doesn't feel the same way, that can definitely push him away, I'm afraid. I think that if you're still worried about what he thinks of you after having heard that you said bad things about him when you didn't, then you could write a very SHORT note to him saying only: "I never did say anything bad about you to anyone. I wish you had asked me before you accused me. Thanks for your three year friendship with me. I'm sorry to see it end this way." Do NOT profess your love to this guy again. I think that will only make him pull away further and he may not pay attention at all to the rest of the note. Please don't make it harder on yourself by continuing to tell this guy that you love him. I know you do, but it sounds like you need to move on...like he did. Although, I will agree that he did it in a most insensitive way and I'm sorry for that. You say that he "was the only thing [you] had," and that makes me wonder if you keep too much to yourself. Do you have any girlfriends with whom you can try to spend more time? Can you join some school activities that would take up your time and help you to meet other people? I would also suggest that you not keep announcing your feelings about loving him to all sorts of people. That only makes you sound desperate and sad. You don't need to be. Sweetie, you're only 16 and I know there are guys out there who will treat you so much better! Now YOU need to focus on that and tell yourself every day that you're worth it and that you deserve someone who will treat you with respect. You may be hurting right now and maybe it's too hard to think about ever getting over this, but I promise you, you will! You will go through many trials and errors in relationships as you grow up. And each one will make you stronger and you'll know more and more what you really want in a guy by dating many guys. Just be careful about sharing too much of yourself; that is, having sex before you're truly ready and know what it will lead to in the relationship. Be wary, at this age, of guys who say that having sex will make you closer. There are all sorts of lines that guys will use to get a girl to have sex with them. You just need to listen to your gut instincts and ask yourself if this is something you definitely want to do...NOW. Please get the idea of suicide out of your head! I know that's easier said than done. Believe me, I know. However, you WILL have someone special in your life some day and you don't want to miss out on that! If you think that killing yourself will make this guy feel bad, then you're sadly mistaken. I think he's too young to understand why you are feeling so over the edge about this whole thing. If you are thinking about suicide because you want to rid yourself of pain, please think about the pain you'll be causing the people who love you unconditionally. THAT kind of pain never goes away. Your kind of pain will...really it will. Please take care of yourself and let me know how you're doing in a couple of weeks. I care.
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This guy that I'm friends with invited me and another girl over to his house to watch a hockey game. Well I had already made plans with my father to go to the show, so I couldnt go. Well my the other girl (who has a severe crush) on this guy didnt have a problem with going alone without me to his house.
Well anyways I found out the next day that he was choked at me because he had to give my friend money for a cab ride home, since she doesnt have a car. I have a car but couldnt give her a ride there and back because I had already made plans with my dad. This guy is acting really cold towards me now.
Well I have two theories about why this happened. Either A: he's jealous I have a good relationship with my father, or B. He likes me as more than a friend and was upset that I didnt go to his house? And maybe he just invited the other girl cause he's shy and would be more comfortable with her and me there?
Either way, I think he was being a jerk. The other thing I thought was maybe something happened between my friend who has the crush on him that night. Like maybe she made a pass at him, or was telling him nasties about me.
What do you think is going on? (link)
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My guess is that your guy friend was mainly peeved at the fact that he had to pay for your girlfriend's cab fare. I wasn't able to get whether or not this guy and your female friend have been really good friends or not. Whatever the case, your girlfriend should have made prior arrangements for getting home. I think the guy is going a little overboard by being pissy with you, but perhaps he thought the two of you would have worked things out before your friend showed up at his place alone. I figure he originally thought transportation would be taken care of by you should you have been able to go. Again, your girlfriend made the mistake of not making plans and relying on this guy to be responsible for her trip home. That wasn't exactly fair. Maybe she thought that because she has a crush on him that he has one on her and that this was sort of a date (which it wasn't considering he had asked the two of you). Thus, she expected him to pay her way which was totally unreasonable. You might try talking to both friends: 1) ask your girlfriend to pay back the cab fare since she was not on a date; and 2) tell your guy friend that you had no idea this would have happened and that you didn't even think about her not arranging a way home. And, ask this guy why in the world he's so peeved with YOU! P.S. If this guy is really into you, he might have been put on the spot by your friend going to his home alone. Perhaps he would have preferred that you be there and since you couldn't, then maybe your friend shouldn't have gone, though I understand why she did since she has such a crush on him. Do YOU like this guy as more than a friend? And, how good a friend is your girlfriend? Would she try to weasel in on a possible budding relationship between you and this guy? Hopefully that wouldn't be the case and I'm definitely NOT assuming that it is since I know nothing of your relationship with either of these people. If you do like this guy, maybe, if you haven't already, you need to talk about this with your girlfriend and clear the air.
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