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'arguments'
My boyfriend and I are constantly getting into debates about everything, especially religion and politics. We usually don't get that worked up, but I'm afraid it's going to do our relationship damage in the long-run. Is debating normal? Or should we avoid doing it in case we start fighting and potentially ruin our relationship? Do other people have experience with this...?
16/f
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well, i think debating and arguing is a part of every GOOD relationship. it shows you care enough about the person to actually get in an argument with them. so yes, it is perfectly normal to have these disagreements, however you have to know when its gone too far. i understand you being curious if this is going to hurt your relationship in the long run, but thats really up to you and him, actually - its mostly up to you, because you cant tell him when to stop arguing. you need to be in charge of this incase it DOES go too far one time. you have to be cautious and know when to stop fighting with him over these types of things. do your best.. its fine to argue with him, but when you start feeling like it may be going too far, then control yourself and do something to slow it down and stop the fight. best of luck<3
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yes, very healthy relationships start like this actually. its good to have different opinions. and debating it very healthy to get the others opinion. just make sure one of you stays a little bit calm so it doesnt start into a big arguement. and no matter what DONT LET IT RUIN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP
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Well that depends. Do you enjoy your debates? After the debate are you mad at eachother? It might be that debating is just part of something you guys like to do. Otherwise, you just may want to avoid debating. But arguing is normal, in fact not fighting is abnormal.
<33lyds
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I sure have had experience with this potential problem! Disagreeing about certain issues is certainly normal, but debating them all the time shouldn't be normal. These two subjects are hot ones for friends and couples. I suggest one of three things:
1) agree to disagree without debating the issues; listen to each other's points of view and opinions and respect one another without judging, even if you disagree; learn from each other because this is "welcome to the real world" time and you're just getting started with hearing all sorts of opinions about issues that are important to you;
2) agree to stay clear of these two subjects and then do it;
3) if these subjects are very important to you and you honestly do NOT like your guy's thoughts and opinions (for example, they go totally against your beliefs), then it might be best to find someone else who thinks more like you do.
Good luck. You're right: you don't want this to turn into a constant battle which would definitely strain your relationship.
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I have debates with my boyfriend all the time over religion, evolution, politics, etc. You name it, we fight over it. I think debate is healthy in a relationship. Though, if it gets to extreme, then no you guys should try to avoid debating.
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I guess its a bit normal to debate certain topics. Wouldn't it be boring if you both had the same views on every single aspect in life? You should use that to your advantage - the fact that you both have different views on some things - to learn more about him, teach him more about yourself, and at the same time for both of you to learn to be more open with eachother. I think you should avoid it, but not at all costs. I mean yeah once in awhile is fine, but not too much. If you feel like you've had enough for the day or week or just for a long time, then yeah avoid it. Why would you want to argue anyway - chances are one, or both of you are going to end up being hurt anyways. If you both make an effort to see things from each others point of view, then that should make things easier for the both of you, and definatley nothing wrong with that, right? So no, theres nothing really wrong with debating topics, I mean ultimatley your opionions are not disputable. You have reasons as to why what you think and say is right, and so does he. Well I hope that helped and good luck.
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As long as you remain respectful, you should be fine. If you're going to cross the line when debating, you need to promise each other that you'll sit down & stop. There's nothing wrong with debating. I think it's healthy, but I debate with my boyfriend constantly myself.
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I think this is actually a good thing, although maybe not to the extreme it seems you are getting to. It seems to me that perhaps you are being slightly too wary about this, you shouldn't avoid having an intelligent discussion in case you start fighting! That's just dumbing your relationship down! It's a good thing that the two of you are able to carry on conversations with differing opinions, but if you or your boyfriend start to get a little aggressive, you should just "agree to disagree". Tell him exactly how you are feeling, that these talks are interesting, but you are scared of them getting over the top. Overall, I think it is wise that you continue these conversations, but if they start to get a little more argumentative than sharing of opinions, quickly end the discussion and move on to something less controversial.
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Just like the others said, all relationships aren't perfect. My boyfriend and I used to always fight, but we spoke to eachother about it, and everything worked out. It's usually just a phase, so your situation is normal. My advice to you is to hang in there! Just talk to your boyfriend and tell him you repect him and he'll respect your opinions. If you have a good boyfriend, everything will work out for the best!
Hope everything works out!
xoxo -abercrombiebabiex3
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I think that it's perfectly healthy to have some disagreements. Just make sure when you're argueing that you only prove your point clear without offending your boyfriend. Avoid fighting in public.. in fact.. avoid fighting at all. But, hey, it happens. You'll make it though.
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All relationships have fights in some way. If you sense the fights occuring every day or even worse- more than once a day. Tell him nicely you don't like the fighting, and you two should take a break for awhile.
^^ PLEASE let me know if I helped you or not!
**hope it works out!**
x-O Annerszz_101 x-O
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It's not going to hurt your relationship. Debates are fun. Well, not fun but people like to argue. My boyfriend and I debate on things all the time and we've been together for almost 2 years.
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ok i am 14 and me and my bf do the same thing but not religion or politics just views on lovelife stuff and stuff its normal fights are possible to come out of it but thats normal 2 so don't worry every one has diff views on stuff. hope i helped
Andie
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