I'm a fourteen yearold female named Laura and I have dreams of being a writer or an actress, but I have two things holding me back: Stagefright and my low self esteem.
Let's start with the self esteem issue: I never really feel good about myself because I'm so fat. I'm trying to lose weight but it's not easy. I get made fun of because if it. I also worry about not being good enough. I look at writer's like Suzanne Collins (author of the Hunger Games) and actors like Lindsay Lohan (in her younger years in The Parent Trap, not now of course), and I think "I'll never be as good as them.... I'll never have a nice body like Lindsay or skill as good as Suzanne."
Stagefright: I can't share my writing with anyone (not even my parents) or perform in front of anyone without freezing up. I am amazing in my bedroom alone, but when the time comes to show off or audition I'm terrible and shaky and quiet.
So what can I do to help myself?
Well being a writer and being an actor are completely different creative jobs. One is for introverted people and the other, more for extrovert types who revel being in a large crowd/centre of attention.
It takes years and even decades to get to the level Lindsay Lohan is at, even when she began her acting career.
I think its good to have ambition-just make sure you're not getting all wrapped up in this idea of being a celebrity/famous, and that you're doing it because you love it. As in-you get singers that want to do it to be famous, and you get others who are perfectly happy playing in clubs and gigging. Be the latter.
So you need to establish who you are, and build up your confidence. You see, the two industries you have picked are probably the two most competitive to get into & secure a job. But as with any job, a little self knowledge goes a long way.
If I were you, you need to develop a USP. A unique selling point. Something that makes you stand out from all the thousand other wannabee actors and writers out there. Volunteer in your chosen work sector. So you could voluntarily teach in a drama group. Or you could voluntarily write fiction for a local magazine? Something that makes you seem like you have a genuine interest in the industry and not just yourself.
I'd also tell you to do very well at school. Many people view drama etc as not needing many qualifications. This is false, and I believe is why many actors struggle to find a job/career. To say that you have excellent grades etc. (like Emma Watson) shows you can think analytically. More importantly, it shows employers you have knowledge of the outside world and are intelligent. This will also make you feel a more rounded, confident person.
In terms of self esteem issues-you are 14. The worst of it is now. Nothing lasts forever, and I was terrible too at you're age (I'm 18 now).
Whilst you're still young and not in the critical stages of your education, I'd spend every waking minute trying to gain confidence in your abilities.
One thing you may like to try is volunteering. Guiding/drama groups or whatever-but if you do something like a teaching role, it'll build your confidence up no end. Expectant faces will be waiting for you to say something-there's no time for stage fright. So yeh, it'll make you feel amazing afterwards. I volunteer as a public speaker for a charity-something I never thought I'd achieve-but I can honestly say I've flourished because of it.
That's how I overcame any doubts about my abilities, and learnt how to express myself. Just think how much you want it, and how angry you'd be if shyness let you down. And go for it.
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Basically a teacher left my school at the end of the year and I was very upset because I was really close to him. It'd taken me a while but I'd finally come round to the idea of him not being there - although I still miss him a lot.
Anyway, then I went into school yesterday for exam results and he was there (he'd driven 7 hours from his new house). I kind of knew he'd be there and I'd been looking forward to seeing him but it still surprised me to actually see him again. I didn't speak to him an awful lot (not like we normally do anyway) then said goodbye and left.
This event has left me really upset and I'm missing him even more now - When he left at the end of the year I'd said a nice goodbye and ended things well but yesterday really messed things up and it was awkward. Also, I guess now I know that I really won't ever see him again... and a wave of realisation has hit me - he's out of my life now.
I don't know what to do to in order to feel better. :(
Did you fancy your teacher? It sounds like you were very fond of him. Firstly it may be helpful to realize that the border between teacher and student is quite a strict one, and you should try to get any of these thoughts romantic or otherwise out of your head.
In my high school, one of my teachers died of cancer. This loss is very hard to take, especially as it wasn't announced just how ill she really was. \at least you're safe in the knowledge he will continue to grow in his life.
But you must remember, teaching is a caring role. He cared for you whilst you were a student. Now you got to thank him and move on with your education, so he can carry on caring and teaching other students.
I also find you think you'll miss certain teachers alot, but when you go to the next steps or whatever, you realize that you don't miss them as much as you thought. I think its because you mature.
So he may be out of your life now, but if you let that get you down then you're not going to advance very far. Instead, it helps to refocus your mind back on your studies, and try to get a really good career, bearing in mind all the time 'I want to make them proud'. If you get high enough in your career-they'll learn of your successes most probably.
School is like a charity. And whilst people are grateful when they receive help from a charity, most want to move on to better things. Now you have to-even though its hard!
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Question Posted Wednesday August 21 2013, 3:37 pm
Hi there my cousin and i have been together for 6 yrs secretly we hve a 5 yr old daughter together and no one knows about it weve managed to keep it a secret this long but late last year she decided to end it recently saying she cant pretend anymore and alota people will get hurt if they found out i know shes my cousin but i just fell in love with her and even now im stil madly in love with her i havent seen or spoken to her in a month now and im heartbroken is it true u cant choose who u fall in love with? and i miss my daughter too and ive Also been told by people shes been seen with another guy this is just a very big mess at the moment i dont know what to do
It'd help you if you tried to look at this situation from not your point of view or your cousins-but your daughters.
Many people on here will tell you 'ew' or 'that's disgusting' or whatever. However,you can't change what has happened and you can't help what your feelings are-so ignore any negative comments.
Focus on your daughter. Is it healthy do you think for her to grow up, not knowing who the father is, but also feeling like she is part of a secret.
For the sake of her, you have to stop pretending. You know what, you may lose your friends or whatever. But you don't want to carry on living your life as one big lie. Because life is more precious than that. You have suffered enough-but if you carry on with this big secret, your daughter will be the one suffering too.
I think you basically need a new start in life. Move away from your family/friends with your cousin. They have every right to think what you and your cousin have done is gross. But you have every right to a happy life.
So the best thing you can do now is to support the mother of your child and of course your daughter. Sit down with the mother and ask what she really wants. She can't really stop you from seeing your own child-no one parent is dominant.
Keep in mind the whole time though, to focus on the needs of your child. Remain civil with your cousin, for the sake of your child. If she doesn't still want a relationship with you then that's something you'll have to accept.
If this is the case, make arrangements to see YOUR child and create a new life for yourself. Find someone who'll love you for you, advance in a career.
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I'm a 14 year old female and I've been looking for a weekend job but I'm struggling to find one.
My question is, what kind of things would you recommend I look at? I know that not many places can hire 14 year olds so if you could think of some suggestions of places or jobs I could look at, I would be so grateful.
I've looked at hair/beauty salons and catteries/kennels..but like i said, I'm not really sure what other jobs to look at.
I do a paper round-and I'm 18. But the fact is a job is a job in this climate!
Your best bet is volunteering in charity shops. I know its not paid. But if you do it for like a month, you'll have experience. So when you're abit older you can then stand head and shoulders above other people your age when applying for shop work-because you'll already have experience.
Its an insurance issue really with hiring someone at such a young age. They only other thing I can think of for now is babysitting.
But you could try to make money by selling stuff on ebay.
But take up volunteering in a charity shop. Even one months experience can get you a job in the years to come.
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I've been excercising for about four weeks already.I run 1 mile four times a day can I lose wight by running in a mile with a healthy diet in a month1/2.Also my godmother walks everyday in the morning the last time I've seen her she got darker can she get skin cancer.
In terms of you:
Yes you are fully able to lose weight-persistence pays off. Many people struggle in the first few weeks simply because of the 'what the hell' effect. However if you don't get to this point (when you eat too many calories/go a day without exercising so carry on because you think you've blown your diet anyway.
I think it was good to ask this question because sometimes you need a bit of reassurance. You obviously lack confidence/self esteem to be going on a diet in the first place. So yes, you are doing the right thing. But reward yourself for dieting-for example going shopping for your new figure.
I believe with determination then yes you can lose weight.
In terms of your godmother. Skin cancer is one of the most common types of cancer. She can get it if she is exposed to the sun too much with its UV rays. Whether you tan or burn, everyone is at risk. So she should wear factor 30 plus sunscreen. Especially because the sun is hotter and brighter this year, and last year.
Check out these symptoms-if you think it sounds suspicious then tell your Godmother-or reassure her if she is worried. Its worth bringing up because most skin cancers can be treated.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cancer-of-the-skin/Pages/Symptoms.aspx
Good luck on the weight loss-I know you can do it!
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Lately I have noticed that of my really good friends has gotten quite skinny. Yesterday really threw me off though because she was in the bathroom and I heard her coughing- a LOT. To me, I could never think of her being a bulimic, and if she was I would be really shocked. I mean, maybe she has some other health problem but I'm not sure. I'm concerned for her well being lately and while she was in the bathroom I yelled "are you okay?" When she came out she said "yeah I'm fine" but the tone of her voice or something told me that there was something wrong. Lately she has seemed and acted so down. I'm not sure what's wrong, can someone help me out? Should I sit her down and talk to her?
Bulimia can be found in people of any age.
It is a way in which people can regain some control of their life. Has she lost control somewhere else in her life do you think?
Anyway. I used to throw up because this time last year I had terrible anxiety that would not go away.The doctors told me that actually throwing up can kill. Because the throwing up causes there to be fewer heamoglobin cells in your blood, causing you to be at risk of a heart attack (heamoglobin carries oxygen).
You obviously need to approach the situation delicately. First, just by being a listening ear may give you an insight into any pressures she is currently facing.
Then, you could bring it up, and let her know that you, as her friend, are concerned for her wellbeing stating the reasons you listed here.
Hopefully because you've provided a listening ear she'll warm to your advances and agree it may be time to seek help. If she dismisses it and carries on, then you've done your best. We are not doctors on here-so I can't tell you right now that your friend does have bulimia. However, if it is that or any other mental illness, it is up to your friend to fix it.
Help from a counselor or a doctor is effective. But they will only provide your friend with that help if she shows a motivation and willingness to change for the better.
The time to act is if you notice any other strange things happening, stress related or even physically.
It sounds like your friend needs support-and if you do discover any thing then the best kind of support you can give her is a listening ear.
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My grandma has never given me my spaces or pravice and i am 17 about to be 18. What should i do?
Thanks for that.
It sounds as though your grandma is a little over protective. Perhaps, seeing as you have been with her for fourteen years now she feels a little overwhelmed? If she has taken the role as your mum for the last fourteen years, then I think you need to give her some credit. No matter how bitter she seems (and I know it can be hard) this is the lady who bought you up and this has to be admired.
I know you don't treat her badly, but by understanding the situation from your grandma's view can help you to understand why she behaves this way, which can help you know ho to deal with it.
I think it's time for you to pave your own way in the world. Your grandma is not treating you how you would like. Fine. Go your own way.
Do you have a career goal? Its great if you do, because it will show your grandma that you are an independent young woman, who actually doesn't need to depend on someone anymore.
Your situation is tough, but many others your age are worse off than yourself. Make her proud. Not just doing the dishes and being a good girl. Real proud. Get a job if you haven't already, or begin volunteering.
You may feel like you're not getting the emotional care you need-but you are getting the physical care. Considering you're about to be an adult, I would say you need to accept that you have entered a different phase of your relationship with your grandma. View it as a good thing.
You know, you can't please everyone, but the most important person to please is yourself. Its important to not let yourself get down about your situation. Once you reach 18, things will be different. Because you'll make them be.
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How can i get prego. fast?
You never explained what the rush was, so I'll give you the beifit of the doubt and asume you have good intentions.
The only way is to have sex without protection, preferably not with anyone but with someone who loves you for who you are and doesn't treat you like a baby making machine.
If, instead what you are asking is how can I almost guarantee a pregnancy, then the trick is to have sex about a week before your period-you can work this out. This is when you'd be the most fertile so chances of falling pregnant are higher.
Finally make sure you eat healthily and stay positive.
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I know it's good to be social and stuff, but I don't want any friends at my new school... Friends mean drama, and I just don't want to deal with it this year. Is there a way to make people not talk to me (Without them disliking me or making a fool of myself for them not to) or to make them stop talking to me when they do?..
I know what you mean.
I think whilst friends can be a burden, its important to be friendly with people just because you have their back in an argument. Also you don't want to be the loner at the front of the class with no one to work with.
So you need people to just be ok with you. Simply not talking to them will make people dislike you. From a shy girl, this is not the thing that will help you. It'll make you look stuck up and above them.
I think try to gain a few acquaintances by making small talk with people. But go to the library of whatever over lunch. Its actually pretty easy to not progress any friendship-its what alot of shy people like myself do naturally, all the time.
Or you can indeed familiarize yourself with the shyer members of the group/quieter. I am not saying take them for a ride or use them in anyway, I am saying that if they are so obviously shy they'd be glad to have a bit of interest shown in them. But they wont know how to progress the friendship-which is what you want.
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I woke this morning with stomach pains went toilet was sick and pooed at the same time all day I've had stomach pain on & off which made me feel I needed to poo every time but its bright red blood coming instead of poo Ive also felt tired & weak all day can anyone give any advice please
If you went to the hospital complaining of this they'd take you straight down to theatre to see what was up.
Go to the doctor straight away.
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Hi i am 34 an my man is 36 now he made a nick name for me an i need to find one for him even though he said i dont but i find it just as fear, seeing he has one for me... he is serious most of the time but does have a playful side an i need to find one that fits him perfectly he is cabverdian so if someone can figure one out an nothing mushy gooshy or lovey dovey thank you in advance,... sassymamma
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/random/articles/102282/title/cute-nicknames-boyfriends-top-20-list
Here you go.
Also the rating of a 1 can strictly only be given if the advice is abusive. Did you not read the description next to the ratings? Whilst you may not agree with the opinion of the user below, they did give you advice in response to a query. This should be credited with at least a two, or not at all.
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My boy friend ask'd me if I can come over He's 16 and I'm 14..(We are 1year and 7months together And we are very close)watch movies and just chill! We were kinda a bit 'jags' He's parents were there but they go for a nap we lied in the living room on a matras his little brother on the 'coutsh'.But seilintley het starts kiss me in my neck and softley bite me when he's hands go slowly to my brests!(He toutch it before)it didn't bother me! Slowly he unbotten my pants and starts to vinger me..it was my firts time someone did it..but I admit it was the most lovely feeling ever ..then he said let's go the the bathroom (I did) and he stats kissing me and push me against the wall ..He taked my hands and put it ons it *thing* and lead me how to give him a Blewjob and it was kinda akward (bcs it is my first)but It started to feel nice ..He had an 'horing' for the whole time (and I don't know Was it so nice or is it horrny?)And then we seilently went back..and lied again and we start making out..And sadinly he ask me want to feel how it feel (I wanted to say no) but deeply I wanted to do It just as much as he..and I Say Yes (altought its our 1) and slowley with close he starts pulling me closer and start doning it (it was nice) we was both horney!! A Lot!! The he said turn aroud and put your leg over me ,so I did it..and he took he's thing and put it in my virgina..just when he starts puting it in he wasint so deep in so 2cm..he's mom wake up and with the hearing she is coming he pulled fast out (that was most pain ever) I had a bit of bloud (not more than a drop I think) but my Question is Why do I still have pain when it happend on 10August(womens'day) and from today I still have pain and I'm late with my period its now 35days from when I stop ...? I'm to scared to tell someone!!I don't think I could be pregnant But why am I late and why the still pain? I've read someone has the same probleme and the girl was 16 and her boyfriend 17 she did it and she had pain and didn't get her periods (she got a pregnansy test and it was negative) she then told her boyfriend ans they did it again. So I thought Must I do it again (this time let he go right in or leaf it and wait for my periods)????(Sorry for spelling I'm afrikaans)
Trust me. We know what sex is. You didn't have to describe it in such graphic details.
The pain could perhaps be from stretching of the hymen.
So you are worried your pregnant, so you think the pain will go away if you have more sex. Hello? Do the opposite!
You're 14, and have your life ahead of you. Now is not the age to be experimenting with sex wearing no protection-unless you want to be covered in baby sick this time next year.
You're 14-periods are irregular at this age anyway. Give it another week. If there's still nothing I would get your boyfriend to give you a pregnancy test. it takes two to tango and your gastration circumstances are his responsibility as much as yours. Plus he's older than you so may be able to afford one??
If you are then you'll have to tell someone. The person who'll be paying for the upkeep of it. And if you're not wear protection next time. You know you can go to youth centre's and get free pregnancy tests and things?
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I got hired to work on my college housing staff. I am 18 and female and the guy I will be talking about is 19. So, I thought he was cute for a while. We talk, we joke, he laughs at my jokes, my eyes always search for him first in a crowded room. Tonight, we had staff bonding, we watched a movie in the basement. My roommate and one of my other best friends on staff sat together, so the cute guy came over to me and asked if he could sit next to me to which I said of course. It started out really awkward, we were both on our own sides minding our own business. However, as the movie progressed, I realized we were mimicking each other's actions. We were both eating food, I finished eating, so he stopped eating. I then cracked my knuckles, I stopped and then he cracked his knuckles. So, I moved my position so that my legs were a little closer to his, he didn't move for a little but then he moved his arm to the back of the couch we were on and set it behind me.
It's just little things and it isn't a lot but do you think there is something possibly there? (: He's so cute and I don't want to just blatantly tell him that I like him right away, before the school year even starts because I don't want to ruin a work/personal friendship with him. But, do you think we may have chemistry? Thanks!
I think he may like you. But I also think its unprofessional of you to form any relationship just yet-especially as you've just started.
Sometimes when its clear someone else likes us in that way, it makes us like them.
The important thing to do here is focus on the timing. If you do want to get with him then wait. You've just started out. There's plenty of time. Concentration on the task at hand. Its also worthwhile remembering your age-18. Hormones will be everywhere and you are likely to blow things out of proportion-as you have said previously.
I know this may not be what you want to hear-but its just my opinion. You may have chemistry but this could be spoilt and it'd be unprofessional to act on it just yet.
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What should I do?
My mom took my phone while I pretended to sleep and when she gave it back I quickly checked all the recent "view history" and she friggin read all my texts and emails. This bitch pisses me off and I hate how she has to snoop around and read my personal things; where the hell is the privacy these days...
Have you got something to hide??
I bet its the same mom you just called a bitch who bought the phone and is paying for you to use it? She owns the phone if this is the case. Of course she can look through it.
I mean, you could make sure you lock it around her. There's not much you can do if she saw anything unfortunately.
Perhaps spending less time on your phone in front of her will give her the impression there's nothing going on/you have nothing to hide.
You asked what should I do? I think you should put a lock on your phone. Explain to her that although you love your phone and you appreciate she got it for you, you value your independence and feel like she doesn't trust you with it. This should stop her in her tracks. Just be nice with it and don't go calling your own mother a bitch.
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I am doing research into the teenage mind of dating and relationships and was wondering how old are you?
If you are aged between 13-23 then could you please answer me how you feel around people you like? what do you feel like you want to do when you're in a relationship? do you know if you like someone or not? if yes please specify how? I am a female aged anon
I am 18/f.
Well it depends whether your a shy/confident person.
I am shy. When I am round my crush, I feel nervous excitement. So I feel light headed, and my mouth goes dry. Think of it like your going on holiday but you're scared of flying. Like that.
And that's because I'm nervous he'll find out. Part of being shy you see.
Whereas if I was one of these loud mouths, I'd probably feel less excited for the simple reason I was in control of the situation. Some of the excitement is therefore lost.
I also think something to consider is most people like those who like them first. So if a guy shows interest, you warm to them. Check out Byrne-Clore's theory :)
Simply knowing or having a sixth sense (us women tend to have) that they like you, is enough for me to like them back. And then things escalate quickly in the mind. You know research already exists to say that if you have a crush for over six months then you're in love with them?
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K, So I don't really know where to start so lemme just dive right into it. My Mum is training to be a nurse and sometimes she stays up really late to finish or revise stuff and she never has time for me, not that I ever used to talk to her about stuff before that anyway. But I asked something small like, Do you wanna come and watch something with me, she would e=never have the time. But I think that's all just bull crap, she doesn't want to spend time with me and i know because Even when shes not doing homework or anything important, shell be texting or talking or watching eastenders and she'll never be interested in me and she''l say something like "later" but later just never seems to come. She says I should come for her If i ever want to talk but i have never talked to her about anything, I dont to anyone about anything, not even my bff's. which is terrible i know. Im an only child and i want a big sister who i can talk to anytime and who'll listen and have time for me. But the only thing I have half close to a sister or any type of sibling at all is my big cousin who is 37 and she makes me fell safe and confident around her and like i can tell her anything but its not fair coz i only ever get to see her like 2 times a year or so and she doesn't even live that far,, just 2 hours away. I'm always bored all the time and keep to myself, especially at school which especially when it comes to boys, I cant talk to any of them which is why every time I like one they get taken because I'm too late to even make eye contact. I mean WHO THE HELL IS THAT PATHETIC??
My dad is so mean and argumentative and judging and he NEVER listens to a single word I say because he obviously doesn't care. And even when I'm upset or EVEN CRYING the're so "busy" that they don't even notice! My dad never wants to spend time with me either. sometimes i ask for help with homework and all her= does is take a quick 2second glance then say "that look wayy too hard for me, im sure yu'll be able to work it out" and its so annoying. And sometimes im talking to him and i ask him what i just said and he cant even tell me. And ever since this stupid period began ive been having all these mood swings and personality and changed and i really hate it. It makes me beleive that call of suty is way more important to him than i am.
Sometimes I just hate myslef. And my life
Listen, you're under alot of pressure.
Every other teenager is under pressure too. Ok, it may be different to your situation, but still its hard. Growing up is hard.
You have mentioned alot of issues here, so I will tackle them one by one.
1) The parents. Ok. You need futher help with emotional issues and your parents wont talk to you or be a listening ear. There are other people you can speak to if things get really tough. Some parents chose not to have that kind of 'friend' relationship with their child. You tried Kooth Counselling? Free chat online when you're in distress. You can't force your parents to be a listening ear, unfortunately. As you are growing up now, they'll expect you to be more independent like getting a part time job etc. Its hard, but for many people an aspect of growing up is losing that same contact they had with their parents.
2)The not helping with homework. Do you not have a study skills department at your school? Because most schools do, as a policy to help struggling kids. Why not contact your class teacher. I have just asked if I don't understand something in class, and trust me, they never tell you to go away. If you're stuck, tell the teacher. That's what they're paid for so make them earn their money's worth. Parents to try to help out, but its was a while ago since they were studying simulate nous fractions. You could also try the student room.
3) The mood swings. Now then, as you get older and later into your teens, you will have self esteem issues. Its sounds like you have a minor social anxiety issue. I have this to, its a pain right?!
You never said your age, but if your still in school, you can work on yourself to become much more confident. Perhaps then you wont need the support so much as well. Also at college/uni there is a counselling service, so you'll be able to go to that and get help.
4) You need to have a goal. Do you have a career ambition? If not, go get one. And volunteer in that sector etc. It'll take your mind off other issues in your life and will make you feel great about yourself, whilst also helping others and helping you to secure a job in the future.
I know its hard, this whole growing up thing. But instead of relying on support of your family, be like 'You know what, I am a confident young woman, and I can stand on my own two feet'.
Do't let anyone get you down,and remember nothing lasts forever, and this particular period of your life that makes you feel so distressed will soon enter a new, happier phase.
Sorry my advice was you long!!
~Take care~
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Hey there. I've been very depressed since latley ever since my ex bf who made me stop cutting and really loved me dumped me because wasn't really ready and not that interested. Then about a week ago his cousin said he had feelings and him and I got together and he made me send pics to him and told me to keep our relationship secret. Then yesterday he said I told some people (I didn't) and he said we weren't even going out and he doesn't know if he wants to be friends with me anymore and he blocked me on Kik. School has also made me depressed because not much of my friends are in my class and I'm around a lot of people I don't know and it makes me nervous along with knowing I might as my ex (he's one grade lower than me) and it makes me more depressed. I also can't take life anymore and I really want to die. What should I do to feel normal and happy again or what's a simple way to die?
The fact you've asked to become 'normal' again is a sign you are not ready for death, and that there is an ounze in you wanting to live still.
Its hard...I have had counselling before, but your best bet is to speak to a counselor. You'd have to go to your GP to do that. If you're feeling suicidal right now, tell a friend, parent etc.
You see, breakup is something I'd say 90% of people plus go through.Trust me, there are people out there that have gone through worse than you. It also sounds like you have some social anxiety there.
You need to use the break up to make you stronger. Strong enough to be happy on your own in situtation where this guy was once with you.
If you go to your doctor, they can help with meds. But most want to put you on a counselling course. If your of school child age they'll want to do this, because its easy to get addicted to the drugs.
But you need to find that motivation to get better from somewhere. The fact you want to kill yourself. Over a guy dumping you. Serious? Go to the doctors, but tell him you want to get better, and there is motivation from somewhere.
They don't give counselling to people who don't TRY you see.
Good luck anyways, and why not begin by trying some self help books?
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I have horrible anxiey and it causes me a lot of problems. The main problem this causes is the lack of ability to talk to anyone. I can not go up and talk to anyone for just conversational purposes unless they talk to me first. That is how I made friends. This is honestly annoying the crap out of me
a very disappointing situation that just came from it. There was a tutor I worked with for math at my college. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. My class ended about two months ago. I had to go to college for something I thought it would be a great opportunity to just go in the tutor lab and say hi and chat with her a bit. A friend of mine said he was going to be there as well so he said come in at the same time to work on some stuff so he said to me come when he is there. This is perfect because having a friend of mine there can make me more comfortable and help me create coversation. Now it is not like I want to get in this girls pants or something (hell she is engaged) but I just wanted to have a conversation about stuff and not be a completely anonymous person. I am so envious of all the people who are able to just go up to people and just chat. I can't do that at all.
so I go there, but instead of going inside I get too anxious and just paced around outside of the place for like ten minutes and then just when I was thinking of going inm, she leaves (turns out she was leaving early today). I am so frustrated now and filled with regret. My freaking anxiety totally prevented me from just going in just to say hi.
there's a chance I can see her again some time but I have no idea what the schedule is going to be like. And with my friend being there today, this was such a perfect opportunity and I wasted it,
I am now going to be feeling miserable for a while. No don't get me wrong this is not a huge problem that people should be losing their sleep over or anything but this is still frustrating to me. I really want to learn something from this and let it be the "last straw" moment.
Hi,
I'm 18 and we are soo similar it is unreal.
Well, similar except I'm doing something about mine.
Social anxiety is hard, and it feels like you are alone. You're not. You've met two just on this site, right?
I needed to move away from my introverted self, so i started forcing myself to speak to people. For example, I now present a radio show as a volunteer. When you're live on air-like-you just have to talk. Sometimes I went in the studio crying because I was so scared. Now I'm a pro, and have gotten better at talking to people.
An example of forcing yourself to be in situations you may not like.
Okay, you need to learn how to cope with rejection. I'm guessing you can't cope with it because you lack confidence in your abilites, for whatever reason, most likely bullying.
So you need to build up your confidence again. When you get knocked, get back up again. But its not as easy as that-and we both know it. On this site, I have been knocked back so many times, but hey I'm still here giving advice.
The advisor below me has even told others to not accept my advice-even if I know what I'm talking about. I can cope with things like that, because I have a thick skin. Its time, honey, for you to develop yours.
Instead of me waffling on, I have attached some links to help you. But it wont truly ever go away without practice. Everybody likes to be liked, but its the difference between respecting people when they don't like you, or freaking out, that determine's your happiness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVF2bg_BMqk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsoYzpffO88
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldIAHzEHjk4
I am not a doctor, but I'd say its highly likely you, like I, have social anxiety disorder. This can be diagnosed, and you CAN get medication for this. Remember, nothing lasts for ever, and I know you like me will gradually get over it someday, and be stronger for it.
If you are on facebook I'd be happy to add you as a friend and discuss it futher-just as a fellow person to talk to :)
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Okay so this boy and I were together for a week and he said he like me a lot and I said the same thing. So we sent pics back and forth and he said he wanted to do a lot to me. But he told me to keep our relationship secret. I did. Then today, he said I told two to three people and that we weren't even going out in the first place and that he doesn't know if he wants to be my friend. And he blocked me. What can I do to get him back? Please help me!
He doesn't want you. He wants your body.
Sad but true, I'm afraid. This is why you should be more assertive before sending pics to someone online.
To 'help' you, I can just tell you to not do it again, and move on from this guy. He was never your boyfriend-because this is not how boyfriends treat girlfriends.
Just count yourself lucky that its all over with now. Don't worry, there will be someone else out there for you :)
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I recently met a guy, we sort of clicked and we and sort of became friends.. Well not really, I'd say acquaintances. We've only hung out twice (the second time was a disaster).
He's asked me to hang out with him a few times, and I was busy and the last time he wanted to hang out. I said I had already plans but I'd hang out, if they changed and that I would get back to him later.
Which I didn't, and I forgot. And he hasn't texted me now in over 3 weeks. Grr, do you think he's pissed and doesn't want to hang out, and what should I do?
I think he's probably thinking that you're not interested. So why should he waste his time?
Its up to you to take the imitative now. Be friendly not flirty. Text him: Hey how are you, been a while since we spoke.
If he doesn't answer this he has lost interest and you should leave him alone.
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