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I am here to help, so take full advantage!

My name is Kat and I know how it feels to feel like there's no one you can talk to about something, or like no one cares. I DO. And I will try to help you as best I can. I promise nothing more or less than a friend to talk to, a listening ear, and someone who will tell their honest opinion on your dilemma. I usually answer your questions from my phone-online, so i wont be able to see EVERY link.

You can leave your question in my INBOX or you can even email me or add me on myspace.
:]

P.S. Feedback is GREATLY appreciated-- help me help you.

[Namaste]

advice

Ok last year i liked this guy Matt but i stopped likeing him towards the end of the year but now i keep having dreams about him sounds weird i know but i dont know why i'm dreaming about him because when i have dreams i dont dream about the guys i like i dont even dream alot but the past few night i've been having dreams about him and i dont know why does anybody know?

Answer to your recent response 9/25:
I think you need to talk to matt and see what's going on. Ask him why everyone keeps telling you this stuff first (to bring up the conversation). If you want to know go straight to the source. I doubt him and his friends would try so hard and persistantly if it were a joke. Maybe he sees something in you that is refreshing and not like other girls. I'd strike up some conversstions with him. It couldn't hurt! :)

---------
I use to have dreams-actually still do-about people I care for. Not like in the sense where their just in my dreams, but they are my dreams. I've found it to be that I'm very in tune. The world has its ways-quantum psychics, electronic frequencies and fields, etc. It has its ways of linking things of importance, doesn't matter if its small or big, to a person who is open to it. Maybe your suppost to help him with something... A problem or something. He may be in trouble or will soon be. Mine usually happen before someone I love is in for something. I end up telling them to watch out because something's going to happen, or if it already has, then it could get worse.

It can also come in on a positive note. You can maybe be sensing uplifting frequencies from him, or maybe your feeling that he's thinking of you.
Look into it.

Goodluck.

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Idk about this kid anymore (he's a sort of ex), but here's the situation.

All I wanted to do was the talk to him (I told a friend to tell him to call me, since I have no classes with him), and he was like "No..she's going to ask me to homecoming".

After he said that, I was just irritated, and said "You know what? Screw you, jackass. Just so you know, I have a boyfriend, and I'm already going to homecoming with someone. I just wanted to talk to you."

According to my friend, he was really shocked and he acts all awkward around me now, but whatever.

Now, I hear that he admitted to liking this girl that's been, like, stalking him. i mean, she's a nice girl and all, but anyone with a brain can tell that he doesn't like her.

But anyways, he admitted to liking the girl to one of my best friends (the same best friend who told him to call me)

Is he trying to make me jealous? I know full well that he doesn't like this girl. About a year ago, he supposedly told her "I used to like you, but not anymore". He looks hella bored when she tries talking to him. Yet, he is apparently going around telling people he likes her, and has convinced my best friends that he does like her.

But I don't believe it at all. This girl has liked him for two years, and he's known that. It just seems odd to me.

Your thoughts?

3 things....:
One, I totally disagree with that first 'make him jelous back' comment. What are we, in grade school??
Secondly, he may actually like her but you can't really see because your too into the whole you and him thing. He may actually have moved on... If so, just accept it, because you have moved on as well.
And third, if he HASN'T moved on and is actually lying, its because he was hurt you were so blunt with him. It was something he wasn't expecting you to tell him, and he was expecting to have the upper hand. Since you put him in his place he has a bit of a bruised ego, and you know guys-they have to act tough and pretend they don't care. This shows he does. If he's pulling this, he's taking the easiest target (a.k.a. Miss.Obsessive-Pants) and using her to cover the truth. He's telling everyone he likes her because he knows it will get back to you and he doesn't want to pull the whole 'tell you off' thing, because you already did. He'd just feel lame telling you right back off because he knows it would show your right and that it hurt him. He doesn't want that. Ah... Hope any of my ranting made sense. Lol.

Goodluck.

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ok so im eighteen years old and ive probably only had 4 boyfriends, but they werent even serious.
and i've had sex once.
im a timid girl and whenever im with a boy i like, i cant seem to make the first move, but i really want to.
what are some pointers i can have to make me come out of my shell?
and how do i know if im doing a certain move the right way?
i dont want to suck at it! ahh please help!!!!!

So since this is a very open-ended question, I have to ask:
What is the goal here, and what first move are you trying to set?
Are we talking about sex, asking out a boy, kissing/making out, flirting, being more confident with yourself or all of this, or D all of the above?

I think humor is what boys most love in girls besides. intellegence. You have to be able to be free-spirited, fun loving, and be comfortable in your own skin. A while ago I read that people are more attracted to confident people and started thinking about the people I hang around with. I noticed that it was so true... People can really see that light inside. So if you want to impress someone else you have to work on yourself first. That's one of the biggest and best things I can think of for you to shed your shell. Get through those layers of fear and find the you that's waiting to be exposed.

As Elenor Rosevelt said "Do one thing every day that scares you"

Goodluck.

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heyy is there any way to get rid of blemishes in one or two days? theres only one really noticable one on my face and school is tomorrow :/

thanks in advanceeee

Crush up a cople asprins and mix with a little water like a paste-like mixture. Put it on your blemishes overnight.

Orrrr.... The thing that HONESTLY works for me EVERY time is Oxy. There's a product by them that's in a tiny container but its the best stuff in the world, I swear. I put a few dabs on my pimples at night and I wear it over night. In a day or two its completely dried up and healing. Hope this helped.

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15/f

I have some really strange things that I do.
I'm constantly talking to myself (but not really talking out loud, just sort of just mouthing what i would say if i were talking to another person.)
And If I've just walked away from having a convo with someone, I keep repeating what i've said to myself for like 20 minutes after.
I can't focus on ANYTHING no matter how hard I try and I'm always oblivious to everything.
I always isolate myself in social situations because it's the only thing I feel safe doing. I never say anything to anyone because I know that they won't want to talk to me.
I feel like people are watching me when I'm alone and I worry that people can hear my thoughts. I know that's irrational but it doesn't make it go away.
I'm also in some kind of negative mood all the time- be it sad, mad, upset, lonely, etc. I never feel happy and when I smile it's fake unless I'm laughing at something.
I'm always horny and I can't stop my sexual behavior even in public.


so just tell me what you think is wrong. am I schitzophrenic? (sp?)

You may be a Sociopath. I'd see a psychiatrist, babe. You may be 'socially awkward'-its a term, I'm not insulting you in any which way. I really think you should try to get a psych evaluation, it may give you peace of mind. Really only someone like that can officially diagnose you and help you with any further treatment you may have.

Goodluck & hope all goes well.

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I think i need counseling. I haf anger issues and me and my very best friend (friend fer 10 yrs)got into a massive fight and she said that she wasnt my friend ne more and i cut myself all over and then i started hyperventalating. i couldnt feel my hands or my feet and the room was spinning and she called me and i was freaking out on the fone with her and i was so afraid. we worked things out but i think i need help idk waht to do im so scared.

What you had there was called an Anxiety Attack. You were too stressed. You need to calm yourself and please try not to cut anymore. The scars suck to have to cover up later on.
Just try to see a psychologist and keep everything zen. Try some yoga or meditation sometime.

Goodluck.

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there is nothing physically wrong with me i am healthy and able and all that...its just that i dont feel comfortable i cant explain it. there is something constantly bugging. its hard to explain. i know what it is but and it cant be put in words the best way i could think of it is discomfort. i am becoming over sensitive too like i hear a song i get so emotional and i watch something but there is nothing thats tear dropping and i start to get all emotional again. and then i hear like dramatic sounds in my head i cant explain it... its really complicated... and sometimes i get images of death and murder and cutting myself and what it would feel like to die... its diffrent that being suicidal thats one thing for sure.. its closer to curiosity i guess. like one time i jumped 200ft off a crane bungee jumping and i rmmber thinking him... i wonder if this is how it is before you die or fall or whatever.... i am confuseeeeddd. am i ok??? i mean there is nothing thats that depressing or anything around me... lol. i don't know. anyone knows what this is?

Maybe your changing as a person. Or maybe its something called 'Dissociation'. Is there something that happened to you that could have altered this character change in you? Were you abused, are you/were you using drugs, alcohol, etc. These things can cause a change in you and even image problems.
Think of recent events that may have led up to that and you may have your answer.

Goodluck.

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14\f.
Today has sucked. For months know ive been completely moody, and it ruining everything.
Whyy am I for one moment happy, laughing and enjoying myself, next completely sad.
Its weird.. Im not on my period. Im not PMSing!
My Mother calls it hormons. I call it being depressed because im always in a bad mood. then maybe for a day ill be hyper, happy then crash and wanna stay in bed forever.
Help!

Maybe you have depression, but it sounds more like mania to me. I just answered a question like this and you can see the answer on my advice column. I'd see a psychiatrist and get diagnosed if I were you. As for your mother, let her know that she needs to be more supposrtive and more empathetic for your problems. Also, I'm not sure if your heading has anything to do with how you feel or if its a random title, but if it does, maybe your making yourself sick thinking your fat. Like I said, I'd see a psychiatrist.

Goodluck.

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Is this some kind of personality disorder im going through?

I jump from happy to angry to sad to just about different emotion to the MAX so if i am happy, im really really happy, but if i am angered by little thing, i get so aggrevated and mad.

I act on my emotion, such as yell at people, punching walls, swearing like crazy (which i have stopped now), saying i hate someone, and then pretty soon after, I just feel so sad and bad that I had done all that and regret so much.

Is that some kind of disorder? I would love to get that checked out by some kind of therapy, but my parents thinks im lying and they are kind of in denial because I said i need some help because I am sick and tired of crazy mood swings. They basically doesnt like to think there's something wrong with me, especially mentally.

It sounds like 'Mania' to me.
Mania is the terms psychiatrists use to describe a state of elevated mood, rapid speech, grandiose thinking, and agitation that can occur in several different illnesses, but which is the hallmark of bipolar disorder, previously known as manic-depressive disorder.

Approximately one percent of the population develop bipolar disorder during their lifetime. And if you have been diagnosed with depression its important for you to know that one out of four people with depression develop a manic episode- at which that diagnosis should be changed to bipolar disorder. As with depression, bipolar disorder may be a manifestation of an imbalance in signaling between neurons, the cells in the brain.

Do a google on 'bipolar disorder' or 'manic-depressive illness'.

Goodluck with your diagnosis.

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I'm about to start learning how to play the drums. Next weekend I'm going for my first lesson.

I've always wanted to play and I know it obviously requires alot of hand control and doing two different things with your hands and once and what not and I don't know if I'm good at this or not, it's just something I've never thought of so my question is if it turns out my hand control isn't all that hot is it something you can learn and practice or is it something that you're naturally born with?

Also, if anyone plays the drums, any tips?

Ah no problem and no need to worry! Your instructor will work you through EVERYTHING. It just takes a little time to get it running smoothly and all, but other than that PRACTICE IS KEY.

When I first started out I couldn't play two different beats at once. I mean when you get really good, think about it- you'll have you foot going(bass), and you'll have both hands moving from snare to tom toms to the high-hat to your other cymbals. You'll get to the point where you can do all those different things at once no prob and you'll be so happy and so glad you took the time to practice.

I'd say to try a snare and high-hat combo at first, then a bass, snare and high-hat together. Work with it. Right hand high-hat, left hand snare, right foot pedal. Make a jazzy-style tune.


Goodluck and welcome to the drummer family!

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What are some good songs and books to help a girl cope with the ending of a very long relationship?

I don't know what type of music your into but there's a few songs on the album Cexcells by the band Blaqk Audio that are pretty cool like:
'On A Friday' which goes like "safe to say you won't recall, so let's just pretend nothing happened at all"

'Wake Up, Open The Door and Escape To The Sea' "My my your oh so sly, let's leave unsaid what's left unspoken. And my boy, your so coy let's just pretend that nothings broken"

I also like the song 'Warning Sign' by Coldplay
"When the truth is I miss you..."

'Dreams' by Stevie Nicks

'Broken Hearted' by Eighteen Visions

'I won't see you tonight Part 1' by Avenged Sevenfold

'Heartbreaker' by Pat Benetar

'Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough' by Patty Smyth and Don Henley
"There's a danger in loving somebody too much and its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust'

'Disease' by Matchbox 20
"I can't live without you baby tell me what am I suppost to do about it?"

'Nothing Lasts Forever' by Maroon 5
"I want so bad to pick you up but your still too reluctant to accept my help"

'Endlessly, She Said' by AFI
"Still each time I always meant every word, every one."

This is an array of different music types. I suggest you read the lyrics first before you hear the music so you can truly appreciate it before prejudging. Each of these bands-especially AFI-have amazing lyrics.
Oh, and Goo Goo Dolls and Incubus also are good bands to make you feel better.

& about the book-my best friend's favorite book is called 'The truth about forever'.

I hope you feel better babe.

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Sometimes i get these painful things in my mouth and I can't describe it but the closest thing I can compare it with is a pimple.

Sometimes I'll have it on my tongue or on my gum.

Does anyone know what it's called and why I get it?

A cold sore. Its a form of herpes. Maybe from something you had in your mouth.
Do a google search on 'cold sores'

There are a few other things worse that it could be, but I doubt it since you didn't sound real panicked. Just a minor cold sore that you can get over-the-counter meds for.

Hope this helps.

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Okay so over the passed few weeks i've been horny, im a virgin, n im 18 n i think its about time!! I wanna have sex but the problem is that idk who with...the only guys i wouldn't regret it is with my 2 passed ex's but i dont wanna have to contact them. would it be stupid if i just did it with any guy? Not like a one night stand or just any guy but but a guy that i know or something.

I agree with spookykiwi, and I have to add that if your supposedly 'ready', but you don't know who to do it with... You're not. When your truly ready you'll know for who. It will be very clear and you won't have to go through the trouble of going through every name in your little black book to pick out the lucky guy.

Goodluck & Make good choices

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22/F.

Have you ever had a partner who you wanted to break up with, but still really wanted in your life as a friend?

My exboyriend was my best friend, but he was more than that. We got together when we were 17, friends from age 15. I felt like he was a part of my personality, and I loved him to bits. But I felt no passion for him and believed we could not make it work in the long run (I still believe this and do not want a relationship with him again).

We broke up after living together for two years. After two months of trying to stay friends, he said he did not want anything to do with me anymore. I was seeing someone new and he could not cope with this and I do not blame him. This happened ten months ago and he is now happily dating another girl, from what I hear.

Right, the part where I need advice: I know my ex will never be a part of my life ever again. I have heard from several people who are friends with him now that he is genuinely relieved to have me out of his life (this hurts a lot, and is surprising because he begged me not to break up with him). I love him very much, even now, and I think about him all the time. I've had days when I can't stop crying, I miss him so much. Sometimes I wake up, and I think it must be a nightmare, and my smiling best friend will still be in my life, but I remember that it is not. We live in the same small town and are in the same year at university, however I have not seen him in four months. I feel like he has died. I worry about whether he is ok all the time, even though I know rationally he is fine.

If you have ever felt like this about a person - desperately wanting them in your life, or even just wanting to know that they are ok, but knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make this happen - please tell me how you dealt with it? This sounds so horrible, but if he *had* died, I feel like I could mourn and move on, but instead, I'm left in this void, trying to work out if there is anything I can do, but knowing honestly that I can't make him want me in his life again (especially if he is happy with someone else). How do you cope with psuedo-grief and move on with your life?

Oh gosh, I know exactly how you feel. Its like your words spilled out of my heart. Its almost like your in unfamiliar territory and left not knowing quite where you stand. I'm going through the same thing-my ex bf was my best friend and I feel pained to know he's out there and not dead but yet I'm having to move on as if he were-full aware that he's not, just that we can no longer have contact with eachother... If that made any sense whatsoever.
I try to keep it in the mindset that its 'all for the better' and that things in life happen for a reason. He was meant to make you happy while he did, but life has in store for you many bigger things. He needs this space to be able to move on without hurting from the loss of you. Him disconnecting, not seeing you, not talking to you, saying he's moved on and he's glad you two are over... That's all his mindset of trying to keep it together because he knows he needs to move on either way. Regardless of if HE can move on or not, life still does. He knows this and you do too. I don't know if anything can or will stop the pain of losing a best friend that you were so close to, but I know that what you learned from him and what he learned from you is a priceless experience you will learn to take as part of your structure. Someday when you think of him it will be of just that and you'll smile...you won't feel any remorse over it, but be glad and greatful of 'that boy that changed your world'.

Goodluck & I wish you the best.

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Alright,theres a cute hollister dress that i bought.And it would look really cute with leggings,andd it says that to.But idk heres the dress.Tell me what you guys think I should wear it with??
http://www.hollisterco.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_10251_10201_361558_-1_12602_12552

Personally I was thinking white leggings, button earrings, and a headband or bow for your hair. That's not everyones taste, but that's the first thing I thought of when seeing it. Its cute.
If you want to go more edgier I'd suggest black leggings, though, with flats of kitten heels.
Either way girly or edgy kitten heels would look stellar with this outfit.

Goodluck & rock this new outfit!

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16/f

I'm not like other kids when I say I hate my highschool. I actually mean it. Since I've been there, we've had crappy principals who gave us no freedom & who didn't really like us. This year, there's a lot of changes some good & bad. We have shorter lunches, but we can use our phones. We actually get to go on trips & our principal is really nice. However, the teachers are stupid.

School started for me on the 5th, and since then I've missed 2 days of school. Even though I've legally missed two days, my teachers have been marking me absent everyday since school started which is wrong. I've been there everyday except the 13th & the 18th. So since absences go according to block & not day, I have 49 absences. All the work I've done has been for nothing. Getting up at 6 am everyday & busting my ass to do good & start my year well has been a waste of my time. Today, I got pulled out of class so that they could yell at me about attendance even though I've been to school. There are people who can prove I've been to school & been to my classes. Why I got marked absent for days I was there is beyond me, but maybe my teachers are idiots.

Anyways, I was also told I wouldn't be able to graduate on time [not even with help from summer school] & that there were no other alternatives to help me out & that the thing I should be worrying about is my attendance. I'm not worried about attendance, I've been coming to school. I'm actually worried about graduating. I messed up my past 2 years of school and I will take responsibility for that, but I was told I had a chance at graduating on time, and now I'm being told something completely different. I'm honestly taking into consideration that my school probably doesn't want to help me at all.

Since this incident today, I've decided I need to transfer schools. There are schools in the city [I live in the suburbs] that will give me plenty more oppurtunities [such as night school & online classes, we don't have this] that will help me graduate on time. I'm willing to go to school & do these things because I want to graduate & better myself. I'm even signing up for the Marines on Monday and I was told from a Marine I'm friends with that they rarely ever accept GEDs, so that possibility was out. I want to make a better person out of myself, but my school is really holding me back.

Is there any advice to getting transfered out & doing it as quick as possible? Do you think that if I take online classes & night classes [with the help of how I do this year & in summer school] I have a chance of graduating next year like I'm supposed to? I'm really desperate for help here. My school really fucked me over these past few weeks and I need to know if transfering out is the best idea for me. Any advice is greatly appreciated, and really this is directed towards parents/older staff. I know it's annoying to have a specification, but I want someone who knows what they're talking about because I don't want a freshman telling me how school works when they're not even close to being done yet. Thanks in advance!

Ah, school systems! I know how difficult schools can be all too well. I have been thrown most of the bad things high school has to offer, and I know how you feel now.
For the days you have been unfairly marked absent you should hsve some proof for like in-class work dated back to those days, papers that were given out on those days, graded work, etc. I don't know if you have one of these schools, but some schools have video cameras in the classroom-thats another form of proof. I think if I knew where you were and lived there (knew the area) I would better know where to tell you to go and what you could do to make up credits. Since I don't I'll give you some non-specific suggestions.

I would make sure teachers are marking me PRESENT, so make sure to make yourself known those days 'did you mark me on the roll sheet today?'...things like that.
On top of that night school sounds like a good suggestion if your not too busy with regular school homework, a job, etc. You want to make sure you have enough time to breath and think. Time for yourself. Its not a good idea to exhaust or over work yourself because it can hurt your health in the long run.
Also, you were talking about switching schools. Ever heard or thought about taking Independent Study? You work from home and if you are really on a roll you can work get all your classes out of the way fast unlike the set speed that traditional school gives you. But its all about DETERMINATION.

I wish you the best and I hope that your schooling works out. Keep the strength and stay positive. Oh, and another thing... I wanted to share with you words I told myself to help me when I was in your place.
"It doesn't matter HOW I get there, as long as I GET there"

Basicly meaning you may be in hard times and there may be something you may not want to do to be able to graduate, but remember your GOAL & ending result and AIM FOR IT.

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I need some help. Adults idea would be appreciated too. I'm in 9th grade and i would like to do a science fair project that has to do with dance. Please something specific!!

I don't have a specific answer, but I think something having to do with dynamics would be appropriate. That or something having to do with gravitational fields. They both have things to do with dance; dynamics especially. I'd google something like "dynamics of dancing" or "dance and science"

I'm sad to say I don't have much answers for you but these, but I hope the helped.


Good luck on your science fair project!

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i have started drinking a new drink called enviga...is it good for you??

Anything that speeds up your heart rate like that and with tons of caffeine can't be good for you, honestly.

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Okay so I had to go swimming with my period yesterday. I never tried a tampon before. I wasn't scared when trying to put it in. I just don't get how!! I read the directions and stuff but I just don't get it. Does it like, slide in? I kept pushing in all different spots but it's like it wouldn't go in. I want to start using tampons but I'm just not sure. When I thought I had it in, like 1/4 of a cm of it was hanging out along with the string, but it took soo long to do that, so I just left it in there and went swimming. It felt SO weird swimming, maybe cause it was my first time with a tampon, or it wasn't in right. When I took it out about 3-3 1/2 hours later, it sort of unfolded at the top, and there was like a very very tiny amount of blood on my underwear. I just need help in how to put it in the right way!!

Some tampons are just harder to put in than others. Cardboard can be pretty difficult for some, so I always suggest plastic. When I was starting out I was lost too- the key is to rwlax and take some breaths so your body can relax. Your vagina is like any other muscle on your body and can tighten up and make it harder for you to slide in a tampon. So breathing is key.
For some slightly crouching or bending in a squat can help you slide it in.
I find the easiest and best tampon to use is Tampax Pearl. Its a little more expensive, but so worth it.

Goodluck.

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Can you go swimming without a tampon? Because I've heard your period kind of stops in water. What I mean is when your in water there isn't a flow. Because i cna't seem to put one in and I have to go swimming for PE class! Help! Thanks so much! And I rate. :D

It's not that its stopped in water, and its not like it doesn't stop-its kind of posponed. I'm going to tell you right now you DO NOT want to pull a ME at Waterworld thinking I'd be okay with a light flow and in water most of the time. I had the most embaressing moment when I eent to the snack bar and whoosh.. The posponed period came and ran down my leg!
Ah, I don't know why I'm telling all of this, but its advice... Learn from my mistake and TRY to use a tampon. ANYTHING is better than nothing.

Home my humiliation helped =)
&Goodluck.

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