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August 5, 2005

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Hmm.. What kind of advice can I give?
Any kind you'd like. Advice on relationships (all types) Getting out of trouble(my specialty) Sarcasim is always fun.
Giving advice is something I do best, I'll awnser any question you'd like, unless they're stupid and extremely pointless ones.
About me?- I like playing basketball, I'm still in Highschool, doing things that will get me in trouble, but always being good enough to get out of it.
My friends mean the world to me, without them I don't know what'd I do.
I could go on, but I don't think I will.

Anyways, if you do ask me questions, try to hold back on tYpInG lyK diZ N sTuFf alright. Other than that Anything you want to know I'll do my best to help with :)

advice

I've been having these dreams that are really weird and I don't understand them. First, last night I dreamt that I was being very intimate with this guy. It wasn't anyone that I know, but this is kinda weird but I dreamt that I was kinda having sex. I've dreamt it before and I just don't understand. Maybe you could help me out? Please..these are really bothering me and I've been having them more often now. Also I dreamt that I was going to marry this one guy that I know and he lives far far away from me. But the thing is I barely know him! So I'm confused. I don't exactly want an answer about that dream just the ones where I'm being very intimate. Thanks for your help!, If you need anymore info, IM me at AnnaxBanana45 or email me AnnaBanana146@aol.com *Love Me*

Ha, well, it could mean a few things. What I think is happening is that your hormones are getting stronger, so you're dreaming about sex. It's a very natrual thing to do. If you thnk it goes deeper than that, pay attention to key details, I'm not really a "dream interpeter" but I'm guessing that it does have something do with you maybe thinking about sex more often? Or your hormones are coming in and it's causing you to think about it.

For homecomming I want to be able to actually dance fast. I dance in my room all the time by myself and I think I'm fine...but then I look at other people dancing and I feel dumb! None of my friends can dance either, so do you have any tips or anything??

-Zero
-Thanks!

I have the EXACT same thing, except all of my friends can dance. I think I can dance, but when I get out there, I freeze up. What you might do, is that when there's a REALLY big crowd together of like 7-12 people dancing in a group, go in the middle and dance at first. It'll make you feel a little bit more comfortable, and then soon you could probably ease in to dancing with two or three people, and then just you.

OK..growing up I rarely saw my mom and dad hug or kiss.Last year they were thinking of divorcing and it was a really sad time for me. They arent divorced and they are working on their marriage. Problem is..they are like horny teenagers and it sickens me to see them make out and slobber in front of me. Last night we were at a drive up window and they started making out passionatly right there! What can I do to express that im happy for them..but to please do that STUFF in private!? Thanks for the help..i rate generously!

Oh man, I had the same problem when my mom was with her boyfriend. The best thing to do is make it noticed that when they do stuff like that it makes you sick. Tell them if they want to do that, it's fine, just don't do it while you're around. And when you tell them how you feel, make sure they know you're serious. Try not to smirk about it, or give dirty faces, just witha serious look tell them that it really does make you feel sick and it's just something you don't want to see. If you're not serious, they won't take you serious.

ok , i dont kno what to do anymore . im babyysitting this 4 yr. old little boy . i came at 9:30 this morning and like 10 min. after the mom left for work , he's throwing his toys at me , one hitting my chin , then he took some statue thing the parents hav and starts biting on it . nd i cant control this kid . can u help me pleasE

Be firm with him, yell at him if needed to. If he's out of control the parent's can't expect you not to do something. Just make sure he knows that you're the one who's in control, and whenever he does something he shouldn't be doing, punish him by taking something away from him, when he's good, give something back, make a system. But make sure it works for you

My friend is a suicidal massicist. She cuts her wrists. She was molested when she was younger. She also does drugs and gets drunk a lot and likes it. Her mom is suicidal and her dad is a pot head. She went to a therapist before but stopped because he was annoying and cost too much. I think her life is taking a large turn down into a huge pile of shit, but I don't know how to help her. She is insecure, clingy but outspoken and is willing to fight anyone who makes fun of her, and that is admirable. She is also bisexual which has caused other probs. Can I do anything?

When it comes down to it, it's all up toher whether she wants to change or not. The best thing you can do is continue to be there for her. It seems like her family doesn't offer her much at all, but you seem like a great friend and that's exactly what she needs. She probably wouldn't admit it, but she needs you more than you could know. It's hard to say what you should do when her parents aren't worth much, and seem like they don't really care. She doesn't want to end her life, if she wanted to do it bad enough she would have done it by now. She's more so crying out and begging for attention, for someone who cares. Just get really close with her, and invite her to do things with you, to keep her from doing that osort of thing and making her feel wanted. It's not a big deal that she's bisexual, just let her know that you're not into that sort of thing but you still want to be a big part of her life, more as a best friend.

My sister is a lesbian, and I am good friends with her girlfriend. When I am introducing the two of them to other people I always find myself saying "this is my sister and her friend."
I know I should say girlfriend, but I never can get it out.

Is it alright if I just say friend to avoid akward moments and let coversations to contiune to flow, or do you think it is affending to my sister and her girlfriend?

You should talk to your sister about it, let her know that it does in some way make you feel a little bit uncomfortable, not that she's a lesibian, just that you don't know how to introduce her and her girlfriend to other people, or how they would want to be introduced. If you feel uncomfortable I'm sure your sister can in some way understand.

ok. i dont smoke. But alot of people in my grade do. im only going into 8th grade and i turn 14 in january! alot of people that i know have at least tried smoking. recently i have been having these dreams that i smoked and i liked it..then i'd wake up. is this bad? should i have already tried it. i think want to. thx for any advice!

Smoking is definatly not a good habbit to pick up on. It's only normal if people around you are doing it, that it's going to tempt you. Everyone expeirments with things at some point in their life. So if you were to try it, you shouldn't feel bad over it. Just don't do it to the point where you don't want to stop. Smoking isn't anything special, you should be proud that you don't do it. It's a nasty nasty habbit that doesn't do anything good for you in life at all. Don't try smoking just because people want you to, or because you're going to feel left out because of it.FRIENDS will respect your desision for not smoking, they should it least. So, it's not a bad thing to try it, most do, but it would be awesome if you were one of the few who never has. There's nothing attrative about smoking, your best option would be not to do it.

Oh, and also.. that's just a dream, it's not reality, so don't feel you need to make your desision based on liking it in your dream.

how do you rate other peoples columns? if you tell me and i understand it i will rate....5's!! xox Emily
((i just picked a random catergory))

When you ask a question to that person, or if someone awnsers your question, it will ask you to rate it, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5. You click wich choice you fit best. And then after that It will ask you if you want to leave a comment to what they said. Just where it says "Welcome (your name here) below it click the link that says "questions" and it will take you to the questions you have asked and it won't be hard to get from there.

BUT don't forget... YOU have to ask the question

Hey, I've been using tampons for a little while now and it's kind of weird! Are you supposed to feel a little uncomfortable wearing them if there still new to you? Do you think they feel that way because it's not up far enough or something? I know I put it in right, but I still feel a little discomfort when there in! What's wrong?

You probably didn't put them in far enough, most of the time you WON'T be able to feel them. However, you are new to using them so you may notice them, but it shouldn't bother you, or discomfort you. Your problem definatly is that you might not be placing it up far enough.

I am twenty one years old and have been married for over a year. My husband and I recently discovered that we are pregnant. Though it wasnt planned, we are both very excited and happy about it. So is everyone else... my friends, my family, even my mom. Everyone, except for my father.

When I told him the news, he was completely shocked, which I could understand. I called a few days ago to see how he's doing, and he said some very mean things that made me pretty upset. I dont understand this reaction, because he also got married and started a family at a young age.
Its been about two weeks since we broke the news to him, and he just seems to be sad and disappointed in me.

I just want my dad to accept this and to be happy for us, but at the same time I dont understand why I am so strongly seeking his approval.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I think he will be in time. There are a few things that might be causing this unaccepting towards the situation thing. One, he might be insecure about himself. He's getting up in the age and realizing that he has a grandchild on the way just might not being helping him cope with it. Therfore, hes' going to show remorse and anger for it, not becuase of you, but because of him. Another thing, you said he started a family young, maybe there's things about your family's past that you might not know about.. like, whenver you where born maybe it was a major struggle to get on their feet and he doesn't want to see it happen to you. The best thing you can do is talk to him, ask him what part about it you don't like. You're an adult, married, so you can make your own desisions. If you talk to him maybe ask him what's the source of why he's not up for it, ask him a few questions, if he still doesn't come around, or it just ends up in another fight, the I'd back off until he accepted it. He's your father so he can't stay like that forever, and I'm sure your family won't allow him to either. I hope things work out for you, congratulations on your expectations I'm sure you'll be great parents, and I'm sure your dad will come around eventually, once he can learn to deal with what's going on with himself. (Or whatever the source may be)

its so wierd...whenever i like a guy, i sooner or later get the feeling he likes me too. i've been right a couple of times, but i just think its wierd. does anyone else feel this way? i mean...if i do make this assumption, and i am wrong, i feel so hurt. this may sound stupid, but is there anything i can do about it?

please answer....i always rate well :)

-britski-

Definatly, but most of the times I don't act on that feeling. But you definatly should, it's all about taking risks. Me, I usually don't take them and end up dissapointed. The only thing you really can do is in a sense "investigate" that feeling that you have about him liking you. Sooner or later I think it'll come to the surface, it's just all about who is willing to bring it up.

my best friend is really kewl and everything but she's stubborn and she wants to have sex but she just turned 14 and she doesn't even have a boy frined but how do i talk to her about the dangers and stuff?
signed,
confused

Well, ultimatly this is her desision. She probably already knows alot of the dangers, but ask her if she's doing it for the right reasons more so. Like ask her if she's doing it just becuase everyone else has done it (so to speak) or because she feels insecure and she feels like she needs something like that. Remind her not to do it with any random guy, becuase I gaurentee ya'll are at that age where the guy WILL TALK. And of course tell her about the dangers, and how easy it is to get infected with an STD, and get pregnat, ect.

I've been sexually active for about 6 monthes or so now, and I'm going to the gynocologist sometime this week. Will she be able to tell that I'm not a virgin? I'm only 16. Oh, and if she can find out, are they supposed to tell your parents? PLEASE, PLEASE HELP!

Alright, the doctor's definatly going to know, but from experience, they have NO right to tell your parents your personal information. The only way they can tell them is if you sign off on somethign saying they can. Also, they won't tell your parent's unless they directly ask for that information. But it's your desision to sign off whether or not they can give out that information. I hope you're not going there for them to see if you've had sex, you will defiantly have some trouble if thats the case. But if it's for anything else I woulnd't worry too much, yes, the doctor will know, but they have no right to give out that information. I know it sounds funny being as though you're not 18 and your parents have the right over you, but I guess that's just how it is perhaps? Hope you don't get caught love, good luck!

I recently lost my virginity, the girl was my age, 15, but she's already had 6 guys before me, which at least to me sounds like a huge amount. I know she's a really wonderful person, and ever since it happened I've been even more attracted to her, not just wanting to have sex again, but actually wanting to get to know her better and hang out more. I just want to know if its possible that she gets the same feeling about me or does sex become less special the more a persons done it.

I don't think it wears off, it's not the sex, it's the person. If you're having these feelings good chances are, she is too. Let her know you want to get to know her better, more about her. I definatly don't think it becomes less special the more you've done it. I think sex is at it's best whenever you're in love, or have strong feelings for that person.

my grandma loves me but she loves my other cuzin more and it shows they have like a great relationship and me and my grama dont talk that mutch she always kids around and says o this is my favorite grndaughter and she is not talking about me i just feel so bad because ahe might not be around that much anymore shes pretty old and i want her to love me as much as my other cuzins.What should i do?

Alright, I don't think your grandmother would ever want to come off like that. I don't know if this is your case, but maybe.. Maybe your grandparents spend more time with them, she's more comfortable around them perhaps. That is how it goes in my family, my little cousin is the odd-man out.. mainly becuase her parents are divorced so she doesn't get to be around as much. But I know my grandmother loves her just the same.
So, it's probably not that she doesn't love you any less than them, it's just that she's not as close with you as them, which yes, it can sometime hurt I'm sure. But the best thing to do is reach out to her, it'll probably be one of the best feelings to her in the world to know she's wanted by her grandchild.

here i go:
okay my best friend...."Nancy"....well we have been friends for about 3 years and well we have a lot of fights about stuff!! we just recently had a fight and she said "we have 2 many fights" and she hasn't been talkin 2 me a lot usually she is the one approachs me and says "hi" but now i'm sayin "hi" only she won't talk 2 me!! i said 2 her okay u wanna b like that fine so i haven't talked 2 her!!! what should i do?? she is gettin on my nerves and she is actin like a child, i am 2 mature for this kind of childish behavior!!! Lemme Kno!! :)

xoxo,
.*.BeSs.*.

Well, chances are in this situation, she's probably feeling the same. You're honestly probably on her nerves, which is why she lashed out and said that. If you're too mature for it the best thing would be to just keep the drama at a low. Just don't forget she's your best friend, 3 years is a long time. I think 3 years is worth fighting for too. Listen, her problem probably is, is that ya'll have just been hanging out too much and the friendship is getting annoying, it happens to the best of friends. Ya'll just need some space from each other and she'll eventually come back around.But trying to talk to her might just make it worse, and ya'll might say some things ya'll don't mean, so just be catiuos about it.

my cousins have both had a lot of trouble with drugs and addiction. i am very scared they will die and i always cry when i talk about it. I get so sad and i dont no what to do, my emotions are taking me over!

Alright, my cousin had the same problem, babe there's really nothing you CAN do. The only way they'll stop is if they're ready, which most of the time only comes up when they have a RUDE awakening call. But the best thing you can do is encourage them both to try stopping, try to get them to go do things with you, keep them busy so they won't have time to do those things.

On another note depending on how old you are, maybe you should talk to someone old enough to deal with something like this, but you could... on ceartain occausains if your cousins are over 18 that means they're old enough to make their own desisions. HOWEVER, you can go to a judge and do something, I'm not quite sure what, but he can put them in a drug rehabilitation place for that kinds of things. Now, if they're under 18,and you're really scard that they might die from it...TELL their parents.... it won't be a bad thing to do, you'll be saving thier lives. And their parents can more than likley do somethign about it.

My social life is like a roller coaster. Sometimes I won't have any plans for a month, and then other times I'm hanging out with people twice a day and then again at night, but every time I fall into a slump I find myself turning to drugs as a way back into the social scheme. This is how things go most of the time. I'll have more or less no friends. Then I'll buy some weed or something, talk to some folks and they'll want to go get high with me. Some of my other friends will see me hanging out with people again and want to go downtown or to a movie with me, then im done with the drugs. With my social life back on track I usually meet a girl and then I tend to get really caught up in that and the rest of my life suffers, when the relationship is over i find myself back at the start and thinking about doing drugs again. Even when I don't meet a girl something usually has the same effect, sports, school, something like that. Anyone have any ideas of how I can keep my social life on track without having to resort to drugs?

Don't let it stop. If you get in this slump everytime your social life gets a little low, then simply don't let it stop. Grantid, you're going to want to take a break from things every once in a while, but maybe if out of your group of friends, you found a BEST friend, one of them who you'll want to spend most of your time with, who hangs with "the group." Doing drugs definatly isn't the right awnser to things at all, face the problem head on, without using the drugs. It seems like you may overhwelm yourself with things. Like the whole girl thing, like you said you get caught up... it's probably the same with hanging out with you friends all the time. You're having so much fun and you're in the moment, you don't want it to end, and then boom, it does. I don't know you so I don't know exactly what to say but... When it ends so fast like that, when the track you're on just stops, it might feel like you don't know what to do anymore. Maybe...Maybe if you kept in mind that these hanging out with your friends 24/7 thing usually come to a stop at some point, like maybe if you just rememberd that, and tried not to get too caught up in the situation with your friends, you wouldn't resort to using drugs afterwards. I'm not saying don't let yourself havea good time, by all means do that, I'm just saying don't make it your entire life and just make it seem like that'll be all there is to do, and then when it stops get overwhelmed and then go back to drugs. It's hard to describe what I'm trying to say in words but that was the best I could do, well I could go on more but that would be one big ol' response, if you want me to go into it more just hit up my advice column. I really hope you can find a better way than using drugs...

I had asked a question about denial..and I thought I would elaborate to make it easier to comprehend the question. Just for your knowledge and information, I am a 14 year-old girl. Someone was saying I have muscle tone in my cheeks and I was like what!? Then he said "Denial is the first stage?" What does this mean? Thanks!

Denial means that you know that it's true, but you don't want to admit it. You don't want to except the fact that it's true, so you hide it and try and deny it, hence the word, denial.

im going to b a freshman in high school and i was wonderin if anyone could tell me what homecoming is like. do u have to get all fancy or wut? i have never heard about it b4 so im kinda nervous. also r there like sadie hawkins dances?(where the girl asks the boy) im just wonderin. thanx!

Alright, homecoming, is a little fancy... you definatly are going to have to get dressed up, alot of girls get their hair done ect.. it's alot of fun though, you'll alot of the times go out to eat before the dance with your date/friends ect. And then Sadie Hawkins dance is very casual, you dress up like your mate, and you get to choose what to wear, that doesn't have to be fancy at all, but it's cool when it's creative. And yes, you ask the boy... you pay, you choose the clothes ect..

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