My friend is a suicidal massicist. She cuts her wrists. She was molested when she was younger. She also does drugs and gets drunk a lot and likes it. Her mom is suicidal and her dad is a pot head. She went to a therapist before but stopped because he was annoying and cost too much. I think her life is taking a large turn down into a huge pile of shit, but I don't know how to help her. She is insecure, clingy but outspoken and is willing to fight anyone who makes fun of her, and that is admirable. She is also bisexual which has caused other probs. Can I do anything?
xxKillerQueen answered Sunday August 22 2004, 8:18 pm: Yeah. Tell her to stay strong, and not lose hope. Her dads being abusive? Call the cops. Get her rights.
She been drinking and potheading?
Tell her not to waste her life smoking her way to a death caused by stupidity.
But where the suicidal part comes in...just tell her not to give up hope. People weren't put on earth to crash and burn...wait, does she want that? Does she want to end up in a rehab center at some point? Does she really want this messed up life?
You know its her life, no one can help her in the end.
Except her. She can only help herself if she really believes that this is not the road she wants to walk and that this is not the life she wants to lead. Try and let her see that there is more to life than that. Like actually not doing illegal things, getting an education, going to college and getting a life for herself no matter what her interests are.
QtWithAbooty answered Sunday August 15 2004, 9:13 pm: well yea her life really did take a bad turn. when ppl normally get that way its normally from the life when they wer younger. maybe because her parents wer like that way she thoguht as a child that it wa s okay. when a kid grows up like that its mostly because uv ther parents. ..im sorry to say but ther isnt muchu can help her with. only to make sure she keeps going to the councelor. ttake her places make sure she has fun keep her away from drugs. wat bout a clinic....it would really be hard but she does need help. being bi is normal nuthin rong with that tho. but if shees clingy its most normal because of the way her life is. let her be clingy it seems she might need the attrention. it may help her to show ppl do luv her. try to keep her in a good life really try o help. her parents may not have helped much but ur her friend keep her in a happy life from now cuz im sure u dont want it getting any werse [ QtWithAbooty's advice column | Ask QtWithAbooty A Question ]
FrancineJoy answered Wednesday August 4 2004, 5:41 pm: Wow. Other than the fact her mother is suicidal and her dad is a pothead, You could have very well have been talking about my friend, but I suggest that you talk to a teacher or your mom. Maybe if she was committed it might help her some. She might hate you for doing it, but it will pay off! [ FrancineJoy's advice column | Ask FrancineJoy A Question ]
PleaseHelpMe answered Tuesday August 3 2004, 11:58 pm: Hey you really can only be there for her and try to make her feel better when she is sad. Confort her and let her know that you care about her. You can also try and get her to go see somone about her problems. Good luck! -Jenny [ PleaseHelpMe's advice column | Ask PleaseHelpMe A Question ]
spacefem answered Saturday July 31 2004, 11:22 am: I don't want to say no, but basically... no. I'd look out for yourself. Talk to a school councelor, they're free, about your options, because someone like this can really bring you down with them. Being molested as a child is something that basically ruins the rest of your life, your friend needs years of serious therapy and if she think's that's annoying, you won't be able to help her. Sorry this isn't very comforting. I feel bad for your friend and I'm sure you do to, but there's only so much we as normal people can do. [ spacefem's advice column | Ask spacefem A Question ]
TucanFullOfHoles answered Friday July 30 2004, 6:42 pm: This is going to sound mean, but really, there's almost nothing you can do. She has to do it herself.
Tell her that you care about her, and that you want her to be happy, and not have this need to cut herself and drink and do drugs. Tell her you love her and that you'd do anything for her. Make her feel like important and loved. [ TucanFullOfHoles's advice column | Ask TucanFullOfHoles A Question ]
LilMia811 answered Thursday July 29 2004, 7:27 pm: I know it sucks but you really can't do anything to help your friend. She has to realize she has a problem and help herself. Good Luck! :) [ LilMia811's advice column | Ask LilMia811 A Question ]
FewAndFarBetween answered Thursday July 29 2004, 1:48 pm: She. Needs. To. Stop.
First of all, I think she needs to get out of the house she lives in. If her dad is a pot head and her mom is suicidal, that's obviously not doing her any good. Try to find another relative she can stay with for a while. Talk to your parents about her situation and suggest to them that she needs a place to live. See if they're willing to give her a nice home for a while.
I suggest family therapy but that, too, is expensive and not all adults are willing to admit that they have a problem.
Second, I suggest that YOU try to counsel her. You obviously care about her and her well-being and she, obviously, needs someone to talk to. Tell her that you're there to listen to everything she has to say. Also let her know that cutting herself is dangerous and can be fatal.
There is a paragraph titled Getting Help For Yourself or a Friend that may help you.)
Molestation is not an easy subject but I believe that it will help her to talk about it. I think she needs a shoulder to cry on and, maybe, she feels like no one cares about her. She needs to know that her friends love her and care about her and hate seeing her hurt herself.
Be brutally honest with her. Tell her that you do NOT want to get a phone call one day letting you know the date of her funeral.
Her sexuality should not cause any problems. To me, anyone who has a problem with bi-sexuality is narrow-minded and petty.
hotcheerleader answered Thursday July 29 2004, 1:20 pm: If u really wanna help ur friend try talkin to her and b there for her all the time even if she doesnt want u there. U should probly tell someone so she can get help b4 she goes to far and hurts herself even more then she is now.
hope i helped
hErEtoheLp answered Thursday July 29 2004, 1:09 pm: When it comes down to it, it's all up toher whether she wants to change or not. The best thing you can do is continue to be there for her. It seems like her family doesn't offer her much at all, but you seem like a great friend and that's exactly what she needs. She probably wouldn't admit it, but she needs you more than you could know. It's hard to say what you should do when her parents aren't worth much, and seem like they don't really care. She doesn't want to end her life, if she wanted to do it bad enough she would have done it by now. She's more so crying out and begging for attention, for someone who cares. Just get really close with her, and invite her to do things with you, to keep her from doing that osort of thing and making her feel wanted. It's not a big deal that she's bisexual, just let her know that you're not into that sort of thing but you still want to be a big part of her life, more as a best friend. [ hErEtoheLp's advice column | Ask hErEtoheLp A Question ]
marlysta answered Thursday July 29 2004, 1:00 pm: It is so admirable that you want to help your friend. I can imagine the toll this has taken on you... unfortunatley, there is not too much that you can do. I noticed that some of the other advice you received was "to be there for her". That is excellent advice. However, keep in mind your own mental well being and don't get dragged into your friend's life to the point where it can affect your life. You are a good friend, keep it up! [ marlysta's advice column | Ask marlysta A Question ]
selectopaque answered Thursday July 29 2004, 12:54 pm: There's no reason for you to change her sexuality. I'm straight and guys have caused an extremely large amount of problems for me, it doesn't mean I'm going to turn gay all of a sudden.
Don't diss her dad for being a pot head, don't listen to all the commercials about how bad marijuana is. I know plently of pot heads who have full time jobs and keep those full time jobs with no problems.
How can you help her? Just be there for her. I had suicidal tendencies once in a great while, and the best help was always knowing that someone would miss me. Just be there for her, show her a good time outside of cutting, drinking and doing drugs. [ selectopaque's advice column | Ask selectopaque A Question ]
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