"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 143972
Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
russianspy1234
GilbertMar
ThirdQED
mikesadvice
Eldritch
my2cents
|
| |
So I've recently tried tampons. I've had my period for 3 years and was too big of a chicken to try tampons.. But I got the courage this weekend to try them and surprisingly they aren't that bad :) i don't know what I was scared of haha. I think im putting then in correctly. My only problem is that I can still feel the tampon when im walking. I understand that if it's uncomfortable, then it's not in far enough. But see... When I walk around after, I can feel it but it's not really uncomfortable. Like I can handle it.. It's not like unbearable pain.
So am I supposed to feel it but it's not really hurting? I tried searching online and some people said it's normal since I'm a beginner at this and I'll get used to it. Is that true?
Also I play a sport and I'm worried that while im playing, I will feel it and something bad will happen. (link)
|
Beginners typically feel the tampon inserted until the vagina is desensitized enough from the insertion of a dry piece of bleached rayon/cotton blend and the removal of such, including the lining of the vaginal wall. It may take one cycle or it may take 6 cycles for your body to lose enough sensitivity for you to no longer be able to feel the inserted tampon.
I know what you should be afraid of. Tampons have been linked to dioxin exposure. There is no safe level of dioxin, and dioxin has been linked to a wide variety of health problems (cancer, endometriosis, reproductive damage, retardation, immune system damage).
Ignore my "2" rating:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=547596
Do you vagina and your entire body a favor and throw away the rest of the tampons. If you insist on inserting a menstrual product into your body then use something safe, such as a reusable menstrual cup. The link I included above also has a link to what menstrual cups are and how they don't put your body at risk for further health complications and do not cause vaginal desensitization.
"The cotton and rayon that is typical for mass produced tampons may actually contain pesticides and chlorine. Pesticides are used on the products while still in the fields to reduce the risk of bug infestations within the crops. These pesticides kill living insects so that they do not damage the crop. Chlorine is used purely as a whitener to bleach the finished products. This chlorine may actually cause a form of dioxin to be created within the product.
Dioxin is associated with environmental pollution and is highly toxic to the human body. Dioxin is actually said to be one of the most harmful and toxic chemicals known to science today and has been deemed a serious health threat. Dioxin has been linked to cancer, severe reproductive and developmental problems, immune system damage, interference with normal hormonal function and production, birth defects, infertility, increase chances of miscarriages, reduced sperm counts, endometriosis, diabetes, mental impairment, skin disorders, and even lung problems. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has reported no "safe" level of exposure to dioxin."
|
|
What are the bigger buttocks exercises you can do to make your butt bigger? (link)
|
Try backward leg-kicks. Try stair-climbs. Try running and jogging.
Invest in some workout DVDs if you can't get an idea of how to work out your lower body. You want to build muscle of your butt is just going to be saggy and flabby. Muscle gives it that round definition. You aren't going to get that through pills, eating excessive amounts of calories, or sitting on it all day.
Join a gym. Do what feels like it's working on your lower body. Run on the treadmills and do lots of squats. Focus on your lower half and what builds those muscles. Eat right to fuel the growing tissues.
|
|
I would like to get rid completely of black cicles and saging skin under the eye (link)
|
Actually, dark circles under the eye is usually a good sign of malnutrition or lack of iron, especially if you're getting enough rest at night. If you're not taking a daily multi-vitamin then you should definitely start there, as it sounds like your body may be lacking something severely. You should take the multi-vitamin every single day, whether your dark circles are there or not :) just for overall health benefits.
Now, as women, we tend to lose more blood during a month's span. The blood loss isn't extreme but it is enough to leave our bodies iron deficient if we're prone to that (heavy periods, long periods, periods with only a week or two in between). So, if you're already taking a daily multivitamin then you may need to take an extra iron supplement throughout the month as well.
As for iron supplements, some can cause constipation or upset stomach so it's best to read the packaging to see if those problems have been solved. I use Feosol, an iron supplement that I found at my local Wal-Mart, and it has specifically been formulated to be gentle in the body. I take one pill a day, plus my regular multi-vitamin, and my dark circles tend to be less than they were before I started the supplement. Always take the iron with one full glass (8oz) of water to help it absorb into your system properly.
You can tell if I'm on my period and not taking my iron because my circles are very evident. I also feel pretty weak and tired if my iron is fairly low during the day.
Now, dark circles can be a bit hereditary too, so if your mother has them then it could be just a genetic malformation; however, chances are you're just low on vitamins and possibly iron :) Chances that they are hereditary is actually fairly low though because we typically eat what our parents eat too, for the most part.
Give your body a good month or more after being on the vitamins every single day before taking an iron supplement too. All this could be is lack of vital nutrients that you're not getting in your daily consumption (common problem in the United States). So, take the daily multivitamins every single day for a month before deciding if you feel you need an iron supplement as well--even then you might want to consult your doctor to ensure an extra iron supplement is beneficial to your body.
For a last note, I guarantee your skin will even look healthier after being on the vitamins for awhile. It's amazing at how many things can look so much better by making sure your body has what it needs to function properly. My hair looks soooo much healthier now (less breakage, fuller hair, better natural color to it) just from me taking my vitamins each day. Give it a shot, it can't hurt! :)
Take care of yourself. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
|
|
okay, im a little worried. ive missed my period almost 4 months in a row. i am too embarressed to tell anyone (even my mom). is something wrong with me? what should i do? please help me! if it helps im 15 and i started to get my periods in june of 2008 (link)
|
Any time a menstruating woman misses two periods in a row she should have a doctor's appointment to make sure everything is alright.
Like the other user said, it could be something as basic as being under a lot of stress or a drastic change in eating habits. It could be pregnancy if you've been sexually active.
On the other hand, it could be an underlying health condition that needs to be sorted out immediately, like ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids, hormonal imbalance, or even a condition called PCOS (PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome). These sorts of things need to be diagnosed so they can be treated. Ovarian cysts can burst and actually cause the ovary itself to erupt. Uterine fibroids could be cancerous or leave scar tissue within the uterus. Hormonal imbalances can become worse, causing facial hair growth or more. You get the idea.
You really need to ask your mom about getting you a doctor's appointment. Just tell her the truth and she'll understand. What's the worst thing that can happen if you tell her? And, if that happens, will that be the end of the world? Is your personal health and future fertility worth that risk?
You really need to see a doctor. There very well could be something wrong with you, but we can't really tell you because, even if we were doctors, we don't have the ability to properly examine and evaluate you from this sort of long-distance.
|
i've had my period for 4 years now, (i'm 18), and i've had about 4 extremely bad periods. i don't even know how to explain it. its like someone put my uterus in a blender and put it on the highest notch. i can't walk, i can't talk, i can't eat, i'm throwing up, i can't sleep, the pain is intolerable, and all i can manage to do is writhe on my bathroom floor and scream as if i'm in labor. but like i said, that's only happened 4 times since i started, at least that i can remember. well, my last period was on december 11th and it was one of the bad ones. a friend was over and my mom had to take her home at 7 in the morning. i didn't want her to hear me screaming.
and now i'm supposed to be starting my period this weekend and i'm fucking terrified. i don't know if i can handle another period like that. and soon i'm going to be graduating highschool and getting a job and such and how am i supposed to keep a job if i have to miss a day because my periods are that horrible? is there anything i can do? (link)
|
You and I know that over-the-counter medications aren't going to cut this pain. Midol, pamprin, advil, aspirin, or any other medication you can find at you basic store isn't going to make this pain disappear. If you are writhing on the floor, vomiting, and unable to even talk coherently then this is probably something more than an over the counter pill can handle. Let's not beat around the bush with it and make those suggestions.
If a period causes you to be unable to function then something is majorly wrong. It doesn't have to be every single period. One horrible period like this is enough to merit a doctor's visit.
There are many underlying health conditions that can be occurring. Anything from endometriosis to you body lacking a vital nutrient (vitamin, mineral, etc). I can tell you that when I first started my periods at 11 (I am now 24, for note) they were pretty terrible. A couple of years into it, I was diagnosed as having a fairly large cyst on my ovary. The cyst has been long gone now (via prescription medication) and I realize that while I do have uncomfortable cramps now, it is absolutely nothing compared to what I experienced as a youngster.
You seriously do need to talk with a doctor about this and get checked out. If it's something minor then it could be as simple as taking a medicine every day for the next few months. If it's something major then surgery may be an option to get this sort of thing cleared out.
Another user mentioned the idea of having a hysterectomy. I just wanted to note that at your age, a doctor would be unwilling to jump to that step immediately. Young women have to push pretty hard to get a tubal ligation ("tubes tided") because many later decide they do want to try for a child--and, again, we're not even talking about the entire removal of the womb. A doctor would have to see that a hysterectomy is your only way of living a fairly normal life before they would do it--and, even then, many doctors would be unsure of doing such a procedure on such a young woman, who may have the ability to recover from this illness later after more extensive treatment. The idea that you only experience a horribly terrible period every now and again would probably throw that idea right out, unless you have a severe form of cancer or something absolutely incurable. So, do not fear that they are going to rip your uterus out over a bad period, but don't look forward to having that as an upfront option.
Make an appointment with your gynecologist and explain the situation. Tell them about the immense, unbearable pain that happens occasionally, get checked out, and listen to their ideas on the matter. Again, it might be something fairly minor that can be resolved easily.
Even if we were doctors here on Advicenators we wouldn't be able to diagnose you without giving you a good medical examination, and possibly drawing up some quick bloodwork. Nobody here is able to give you a proper diagnosis or a treatment that is going to make this go away without knowing more about your body.
I also want to throw this out there: If you're sexually active, is it possible that you are having an early miscarriage? Some people experience great pain with early miscarriages while others have no idea that they are losing a life. Just a thought.
Talk with you doctor and see what happens from there. You really do need to get checked out.
|
ok so my boyfriend and i are about to have sex for the first time , i'm a virgin, he's not and he has had many sexual partners 16, and i wanna have sex with him BUT i wanna ask him to get an STD test since im worried. i dont know ANYTHING about std test like how are they perform? do you ask for a special kind? or specific test? or do you just go ask for an std test and that includes getting tested for all diseases??
so 1. what kind of test should he ask for, do you have to specify which diseases you wanna get tested for?
2. how can i ask my boyfriend to get a test done without sounding rude cause he has had a bad past lots of girls including trips to amsterdam if you know what i mean ...
i am gonna ask him to get the test but i wanna make sure it isnt in vain and that im not missing on something like i dont know if you should ask to get tested for specific diseases or what
please help! (link)
|
Unfortunately, most STD screenings don't test for everything you want to know about without you specifically requesting for the extra tests. Your partner would likely get a few swabs on his genitals, and possibly his mouth, as well as having some bloodwork done. They may take a urine sample in some cases. Nothing major.
It's wise to talk with someone when making the appointment about what they test for and if they're open to testing for something you request. Most places have a list that they can read off, and if you have made a list of things you need tested then you can compare them over the phone and say, "Hey, could you also test for..." Most places will do the extra testing, but some will charge slightly more for that.
It's remarkable how many don't test for herpes. Don't you think that's crazy? It is.
Here is a list of STDs you'll want your partner tested for since he has had his fair share of encounters:
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Trichomoniasis
- HIV/AIDS
- Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2 / Oral and Genital)
- Hepatitis B and C (HBV and HCV)
- Chancroid
You must also know something quite serious. HPV (Human papillomaviruses) doesn't show up in men. There are no test for HPV in males, and many times (more times than not) they show no signs of infection. They simply pass the strain onto the next woman, who then suffers from anything from warts to cancer. And if you've had the "HPV SHOT" (Gardasil) then think twice about being "protect" against HPV. There are well over 100 unique strains of HPV. Gardasil was only designed to prevent 4. There is no cure for HPV once it's been contracted. So, there is something you will never know your partner has, if he has it, until something bad happens with you and a negative papsmear result comes back as finding something. So, while his test results may come back clear, he may not actually be clean.
As for asking him to get a test, you should just talk with him about your concerns. You could approach it from the angle of you also wanting to get tested with him because you've read that virgins can have STDS (and they can, that isn't a lie). You could approach it from the angle of loving him and wanting to move forward with the relationship, and that having this STD test done would ease your mind about some worries you have over the whole ordeal. You could approach it from the angle of him knowingly been with multiple women and that you both know how STDs spread so you want to make sure he's in good health.
In the end, how could he become angry with you for wanting you both to be safe and healthy, right? It might seem rude at first if you approach it in a way that says, "I think you slept with trashy women," but, honestly, you're not doing anything but saying, "I love you."
|
16/f
i've had gauges for about 2 years.
i'm aware of the risks purely from experience and research. i know what i'm doing.
however, i know this is the last gauge i'm doing and i know its size difference.
some tricks i've used in the past were icing the gauge.. but that's about it
i'm also pretty wary of the risk for infection. it's happened before at a 6g, and i'd like to avoid it.
point being, i'd like to know the best things to use to make this less painful and safer.
i heard to take a shower first or soke the piercing, which sounds brilliant.. except i've always iced it down for the pain. so which do i use?
also, what kind of lubricant should i use? i'm not going to go out and buy something, so suggest something more likely to own. ie. lotion, liquid handsoap
and yes, this is a taper and the 2g's have been i my ears for 6 months, they're frakkin healed.
any advice is really appreciated :) (link)
|
This is a terrible idea:
"i'm not going to go out and buy something, so suggest something more likely to own. ie. lotion, liquid handsoap"
...handsoap, lotion, and other perfumed products can lead to the infection. Antibacterial soaps can cause a pretty bad infection from inhibiting the growth of the healthy cells and good, healing bacteria. It takes easily twice as long for a piercing to heal after using something antibacterial.
If you are going to use something, use something like lanolin, unpetroleum jelly (NOT Vaseline), vitamin e oil, emu oil, or jojoba oil. Many people say massaging the lobe with vitamin E before the stretching dramatically helps to loosen up the tissue and make things slide in smoother. If you can't find anything that you're willing to dish out a little money on, water-based lubricant used for sexual purposes should be safe enough for your last gauging.
Using lotion or soap is just asking to lose your lobe, develop cat-butt, or have a pocket of puss. It's like begging for an infection.
Stretch your lobes after a nice, warm shower. The skin will be slightly more elastic and will stretch easier. Icing them may help reduce pain, but it will only cause more trauma to the area. You should never have so much pain that you absolutely need a pain reliever any way. If there is such a great amount of pain then it means STOP, and that you are going to need to work up to the last stretch a little at a time. Stretching should never be so painful that you cannot deal with it. You should never bleed either. Take you time. Sometimes stretching to the next size isn't as easy as people make it sound. Don't be afraid to make this a few days process.
Nix the ice idea.
Try after you've had a nice long shower in warm water.
Use something sanitary for lubricant that isn't going to kill health cells or leave you with a nasty infection.
Stop if it hurts too much and work your way up to the full gauge.
After gauging, soak your ear in a sea salt or saline solution twice a day for the next two to four weeks. Do not use antibacterial anything. Do not use alcohol, peroxide, or soaps.
It may also be helpful to leave the taper in for another 24 to 48 hours, avoid using flared plugs for the next two weeks, and use organic plugs to allow the tissue to properly breathe.
Be patient. Some people have built up scar tissue that makes the lobes harder to stretch out. You have to be patient or you can have a blowout, leading to infection.
|
|
i'm 21 f and a few weeks ago found out i was pregnant my bf and i were really excited (were planning to get married anyway) it was such a great feeling but my family wasn;t on board with the idea it was stressing me out witch my bf said to calm down since that wasn't good for the baby. well long story short two days ago i lost my baby. my bf and i are really upset i blame all the stress and i did take a tumble down the stairs as well. i feel so down and upset is it just gref of am i depressed? please help if its depression i would like to seek help (link)
|
Yes.
Everyone deals with this sort of thing differently. Just with abortions, miscarriage can really damage your mentality. It can cause you more emotional pain than physical. It can leave you with scars and a broken heart. Obviously, it can put you into a deep depression.
You should seek counseling so that you can express your inner concerns, fears, and emotional trauma of the incident. There is nothing to be ashamed of. This happens. You aren't the only one that is having a hard time getting over something like this.
Pregnancy causes hormones to change pretty dramatically. Miscarriage causes them to change, again, very quickly. It can be such a roller coaster that you subconsciously fear it will happen again. It's a great deal of stress on the body. It can take a lot of vitamins and nutrients out of you that you body needs.
Emotionally you lost a baby. Losing a baby isn't easy, even if you never got the chance to meet the little one yet. When you find out you're expecting you get prepared. You start thinking of names, how their personality will be, and what color to paint the room. You don't think of losing them or death. It's what it is.
You may blame yourself for the miscarriage. It's common. Even if you don't realize it, you might do it. It can be hurtful to think you caused a death. I don't think anyone really takes that easily.
Pills, which will probably be prescribed for your perceived depression, aren't going to make everything all better if you aren't fixing the problem. Pills will only cover up the hurt. You need some therapy so that you can move past pills and be yourself again. Pills won't solve the problem. They never do and that's why people are on them for life. If you don't treat the real problem then all you will be doing is masking the hurt with synthetic drugs.
Talk to a doctor. Get some one-on-one help. Discuss how the miscarriage made you feel. Your thoughts on it. Your feelings. How things happened. How everyone reacted. What it was like. Anything and everything. They can help you sort through this. Therapy might not fix it in a day, week, month, or even a year. It's important that you stick with it, hang in there, and try your best to make changes.
I wish you well and hope that you never have to experience the loss again. You're not alone and if you need more people (other than a professional) to talk to about it there are plenty of online community for people who have miscarried and lost a baby during pregnancy. They might offer you a great deal of emotional support through your therapy sessions and can help you to maintain a positive attitude because therapy won't be easy either.
|
Okay; 18/f && 17/m; Last Thursday, I let my boyfriend stick it in because he's a virgin and wanted to see what it would feel like; after a couple of thrust, he pulled out because he felt like he could nut if he kept going; the whole thing only lasted a minute and a half max. It wasnt long at all. I was freaking out becaue I thought he could have pre-nutted in me, and not known, and I could be pregnant.
Well today I noticed Im ovulating. I wasn't sure if I could be pregnant from Thursday and still ovulate, or if me ovulating is a sign im not pregnant?
Helpp? (link)
|
Live sperm have been found in the female body 7 days after ejaculation occurred. There are a few other cases where sperm have been found alive and well longer than 7 days, we're talking about 10 days. Once I saw a program on television where live sperm was found in a female's body 14 (2 full weeks) after it was ejaculated in her.
Precum, prenut, preejactulate, or whatever you want to call it can very well contain live, healthy sperm. There is absolutely no way to know if your partner released this fluid in your body within the time he had inserted his penis into you, and there is no way to find out if it contained any living sperm.
I have no idea how you just suddenly realized you were ovulating, but there is a highly likelihood of you being wrong about your ovulation. You would have to spend about 6 months worth of home ovulation detector kits to get an idea of how often, and when, you typically ovulate. While people say that egg-white fluid released is a sign of ovulation, ovulation could have occurred anywhere from 48 hours before or after it's release.
Then, sometimes this creamy white discharge is expelled when you're actually not ovulating. It could be from dehydration. It could be from an illness. It could be from an infection, STD, or vaginal PH imbalance.
If you are estimating your ovulation time on your cycle then that's fairly unreliable. While you are suppose to ovulate mid-way through your cycle, many, many, MANY women don't. This is why home ovulation predictor kits are available, expensive, and popular. Even I don't ovulate exactly when the online calculators say.
If you're basing your guessed ovulation from your temperature then know that the body's temperature does fluctuate a bit during the day, based on viruses and infections, and how accurate your thermometer is.
Yes, you could be pregnant. Yes, your partner can release pre-ejaculate in you body in as little as a few seconds of entry. Yes, you could have ovulated last week, today, or will be next week. No, you're not going to magically be able to tell without MONTHS of tracking and calculations. Yes, you can get pregnant from last week's deposit of sperm, even if you weren't ovulating THEN but are now.
We can't tell you if you are or aren't. Wait it out. See if your period misses. If it does, test. If it says a positive then congratulations on your first. If it says negative but your period still does not arrive then wait 1 week and retest. If your period never arrives then see a doctor. If your period arrives on time then you're not pregnant.
Stressing over it may just delay your period. Relax. What's done is already done.
|
|
How do you write up your SBA Lab for Biology? (link)
|
A great Advicenator actually answered this question a number of years ago in relation to biology, even though the question was focused on physics and chemistry as well.
Here is the link:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=428555
Apart from that you should speak with your instructor. He or she can give you better advice that will turn out to be correct. If, for some reason, you are lacking a current steady instructor then I suggest you visit your local college and see if you can talk with the biology instructor there. Many times they can help you walk your way through things like this quickly (if they have the time, mind you).
There MAY be a way to Google "talk to a Biology major" or something and get some results but I'm not entirely sure how trustworthy that information might be.
|
Okay, so I am 14 years old and i got my period late on new years eve night. So when I was at school (before the holidays) We watched this video in class and it was about this girl getting her period at late 13. anyway, after class, i overheard my friends talking about how getting your period when your 13 is really weird and late, and i didn't even have it then so i was like, oh well.
so now i have my period and its really annoying cos i got it on saturday night and its now wednesday morning(technically) and i haven't done anything since- i haven't even gone out anyhere, and i don't know if i should cos i always leak at the back of the pad(im not game to use tampons yet) any it leaks onto my underwear and my pants and i dont know how to stop it and its really annoying...Please help!!! (link)
|
When I first started my period I was 11 and it was pretty hard to figure out too. I leaked a lot and had to have my mom come and bring a change of clothes to school all the time.
Some girls bleed more than others, and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. It just means that you might need to change your pad more frequently and/or buy longer pads. So, try not to wait all day to change out. It's recommended that you change every 2 to 4 hours, depending on your flow at the time. I, personally, change about ever 2 to 2 1/2 hours and every single time I go to the bathroom to pee or something.
There are "long" or "super long" sizes available at the store that you can buy and wear. They come with and without wings; ultra thin or regular sized. If you find that those aren't quite long enough to catch your blood as you move throughout the day, then pick up some ones labeled overnight pads. I, personally, wear overnight pads all day long when I'm on my period. It gives me extra extra length and it makes me feel more secure that I'm not going to end up bleeding on my clothes. I buy these pads from Seventh Generation:
http://www.vitacost.com/Seventh-Generation-Chlorine-Free-Maxi-Pads-Overnight-with-wings
Don't go for tampons. Ever. They are extremely, extremely unhealthy for your body. You can check out some information I have listed on Advicenators (ignore my "2" rating; she obviously cannot read) here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=547596
If you find yourself still leaking onto your clothes when you're sleep, even when you are wearing an overnight pad, then double up. I've had to do this before. You could use one overnight pad and one regular sized one if you needed just an extra bit of length while you lay down on your back to sleep. Just apply one pad like you do normally and then apply a second pad as an extension to over some of your butt in the back. This is super helpful if you move a lot in your sleep.
In case you're wondering about what long sized pads look like, here is a decent photo of regular, long, and overnight pads:
http://i02.i.aliimg.com/img/imagerepos/fj/ro/fjrongan/1262159582640_hz_myalibaba_web9_3936.jpg
|
|
A guy fingered me and he might have an std,but he dosn't know yet. Can i have and std because i didn't make him wash his hands before he did it ? (link)
|
Yes. It's actually quite possible to contract an STD from engaging in mutual masturbation.
If you look through some incurable STD forums, like forums for herpes or HPV, then there is a remarkable number of infants who have contracted sores from their parents during innocent diaper changes. Mom and Dad had forgotten to wash their own hands.
So, it's very possible to contract something like herpes from being fingered if your partner didn't wash his hands before touching you. You and your partner should always, regardless of STD infection, wash your hands before touching genitals. It's just a part of personal hygiene.
|
So back in February i smoked weed for the first time since it was my 15'th birthday. Well i got really really high and started freaking out and saying, "This is a dream, this is a cartoon" and it scared me soooooooo bad. Well then i woke up the next day feeling fine. Alittle more then a month later i smoked alittle again and felt kind of like i wasnt in my body but it wasnt bad. Well then about a month later i started smoking like, once a week on the weekends at partys. and i started to know my limit for smoking. Well from time to time when i would smoke (which was once maybe twice a week) i would feel like i was in a dream and id have moments like that too. but nothing to bad. I was outside in the sun A LOT and i was playing soccer A LOT. and eating alot of fruit. So after the school year started, i still smoked the same, some weeks id not smoke just because i didnt want to. Well since about, October, iv been having having days where i feel like im not here, aka depersonalization. and it scares me. well i kept smoking until a couple days after thanksgiving and then i stoped for a month, but the depersonalization stayed the same. well then my friends pressured me into smoking again (and i was being weak about it) and i smoked it and i was soo scared. well since then, iv been having really really bad episodes of depersonalization. Iv had anxiety problems since 7th grade when i was bullied kinda bad. and i was sexually abused for around 7 years in my childhood and never told anyone. my mom and dad got divorced and that was really really bad. I had 1 friend die, one close family friend, and the guy who lived across the street die who was pretty much my dad. All within 9 months. the same 9 months that iv been smoking. If i tell my mom she doesnt believe me. Im sick of feeling like this, i want to feel like a real person again. i started writing down how i felt and getting my feelings out on paper and thats helped alittle bit, admitting the things that have happened to me and everything like that.
What are some ways i can bring myself back?
How long will this last?
What can (link)
|
I think this, as well as depression and anxiety, is a fairly common problem amongst users. In a way, it may be directly linked to the marijuana consumption, but it also probably ties in with previous life experiences.
There was a recovering drug user that once came and spoke to my school about the recovery process. He said a few things that I haven't really heard before, and it was surprising because he was a drug user at one point. He said everything started with weed for him.
Marijuana makes you feel high. You get a little bit of a rush. You feel fairly decent while you're stoned. Things are a little easier-going, a little funnier, and a little lighter. Life doesn't seem so serious for that little amount of time. Things are different. Unfortunately, those things are typically not reality.
So, those problems that you had a little less hard on you. You kind of push those out of your mind, or they suddenly don't seem as bad. Life isn't "great" but it's a little easier to deal with when you're high.
Then, you come down from the high and things are serious again, only, unfortunately, they can feel a little more serious. People aren't as funny any more. You suddenly don't seem as likable to the people around you. You're reminded of your problems and of reality. You're, again, faced with real life, real problems, and real situations.
So, it can feel like you suddenly don't fit it or even belong. You spent time in what is almost like another, less serious, world and then you came back and saw how life really is like here on Earth. It can feel like you don't belong. It can feel like it isn't real and that you're just going through the motions of this life.
Using anything that creates desensitization in any way, physically or mentally, can cause problems for the user, especially if it's consumed frequently. It's harder to come back to real life and be able to deal with reality after you go away to a lighter, less-serious place. Reality progressively gets more boring, harder, and unhappier. It screws up the way you perceive life, including people.
You probably won't find your answers to healing alone. It would be wise to speak with honestly with your therapist about it. Depersonalization can be pretty hard on the person experiencing it. When you feel like you're just "going through the motions" in a world you "don't feel" you "belong in" then it is very troubling, discouraging, demotivating, and lifeless. Some people live with this disorder for many, many years before seeking the appropriate treatment. Some people are healed and back to normal in as little as a few months of starting treatment. Unfortunately, some people will never feel quite right again.
Writing down how you feel is a good start but you aren't likely to suddenly be well because of it. You need to integrate back into reality, see the joy in what is real, and find your place of belonging again. You need to talk things out with a professional. Most people aren't able to recover completely without the assistance of a professional.
Reach out to a counselor, therapist, psychologist, or anyone in such fields. Tell them the truth of what has happened, and seek help for yourself. Don't down medications and hope they will solve all of your problems either. Medication may help you return to normal-feeling but they aren't going to solve mental and emotional hang-ups you have so make sure you become involved in therapy sessions to learn to cope, deal, and grow as a person.
|
|
Any good cites I could get porn free (link)
|
I'm not entirely sure of your age or gender, but there is a wide variety of free online sex and porn sites you can find by a simple Google search, particularly any search of a certain image or video you wish to view.
It is illegal to watch or view pornography under the age of 18, 21 in some U.S. states.
So, depending on your country and state, the law may differ. Pornography is not illegal, but viewing or creating such things while under the age of 18/21 is very illegal. I am uncertain of the consequences, but I'd say that you and your parents would be in trouble if it was found.
There is a reason why porn sites make you click a link, claiming you to be at least 18 (21 in some states) so that they are not liable for any "damages" done to you. The site will clearly state that there will be "adult content" on the site and if you have made a mistype then to EXIT or click that you're under 18/21. They don't just put that sort of thing on porn sites for the hell of it, you know. :)
So, take a stroll over to:
http://www.google.com/
And do a search for what you're interested in if you're of legal age. Anything from free home videos to foot fetish images. Seriously. Google doesn't not index pornographic websites.
If you're underage then maybe you should spend your time elsewhere. Developing the porn habit at an early age can cause some issues in your idea of what sex and sexual interaction should be. It can (not WILL, but CAN) even inhibit your ability to develop emotional connections and stable relationships.
Things like:
Swimming
Skiing
Sledding
Skating
Reading
Exercising
Crafting
Writing
Learning a new talent or hobby (musical instrument, dance, painting/drawing/art, acting, etc.)
Dating / Double Dating
Volunteering
Can be terrific ways to spend your time that are not illegal for somebody like a 14 year old to engage in ;)
|
|
In my daughter's school there will eventually be a swimming unit in gym class some times in the following semesters and both boys and girls have the class together. Isn' t kind of wrong to force young people to be in bathing suits in front of each other? Even if its one piece? I assumed they would be seperate. Daughter is in 8th grade by the way (link)
|
Appropriate for this day and age? Yes, it's fairly normal to have a mixed swim class.
Appropriate for your children? That's up to you. You are the parent.
If you don't want your children exposing themselves to the opposite gender in tight swimsuits then make a decision to change the situation. Speak with the class instructor and principal about your concerns. If you are strongly against your children being in this situation (and there is nothing wrong with being against such situations) then pull her out of that class and let her learn to swim with you or in a different setting away from school. It's perfectly acceptable to not just "go along with the program" like other mindless parents. If you disagree then do it strongly. This is how people begin homeschooling their children. There isn't anything about swimming that you can't teach her or that you can't hire someone to teach her in a more appropriate setting.
You must take into consideration something though. If you have ever taken your daughter to the beach and she has been in a swimsuit then there is nothing there that hasn't been seen before then.
If you allow her to watch public television programs or popular movies then she may have already see everything there is to see about the other gender, by the way. Click on MTV sometime and just marvel at what they are feeding the youth. That isn't entertainment--that's selling sex.
If you want changes made then you have to stand up for them though. By changes, I mean the entire society. Sure, one person isn't going to change an entire school-system but if enough people join together and say, "Y'know...I was thinking...I really don't like this...let's change it," then it can be done long-term.
Over the past few decades we have really hurt our children. They're more sexually promiscuous than they were. They are more open to drugs, alcohol, violence, eating disorders, and homosexuality. They are likely to be obese, depressed, and suffer many marital divorces. Has our society improved? Yes and no. In some respects we are flushing ourselves down the toilet.
So, is one swimming class going to affect your daughter? Maybe. Maybe not. It depends what she has already been exposed to, and what she will be exposed to in the near future. It depends on who the children she will be swimming with are, personality wise. It depends on her personality strengths. It depends on your parenting skills. It depends on proper child-parent communication. There is no pinpoint answer.
I hate to break it to you, but if you look around this site a lot of 8th graders are already having sex, giving oral sex, having anal sex, and engaging in mutual masturbation. Many aren't virgins in any way at all. Many have had more than one or two sexual partners already. Many already have disease like HPV and herpes. Many have been pregnant, have had abortions, and are still having unprotected sex and engaging in random hook-ups at alcoholic parties. At 13. Unfortunately, if you're child is in public school, he or she is already exposed to that sort of thing, even if it's by word-of-mouth by their peers. I wouldn't have believed that years ago, but after 3+ years as an advice columnist on Advicenators, I can safely say that it IS worse than most parents think.
Decide for yourself if it's appropriate and do what you feel is best. Make the changes. Improve your child's life in many ways. Be a parent.
|
Do most ppl have fetishes?
How can i approach a girl/women to peek her belly button or picture it?
How to find girls who have belly button fetish?
Is there any girl around san Francisco who have belly button fetish? Would love to discuss with them more personally. (link)
|
As I recall, it's estimated that 30% or more people have a sexual fetish of some sort. This ranges from very harmless fetishes to very dangerous ones. I would take a stab at saying the foot fetish is probably one of the most common ones, if not THE most common.
If you're looking for a play-partner then find women interested in navel play. Search groups online devoted to belly button lovers. Even people gathering on sites that feature videos of this sort of fetish will have males and females who are interested, and who are possibly open to showing off their own navels.
If you're looking for a long-term partner then it's probably not best to just seek out someone just because they're interested in belly buttons. It doesn't mean you're a good fit for each other, and these sorts of heated passions burn out quickly. Instead, get to know a woman, build a connection, and share your desires with her if you get the feeling she may be open to it. It's better to be compatible in more ways than one.
|
|
I got my inner conch pierced three days ago.. my piercer gave me a salt spray to spray onto the piercing 3-5 times a day, and i have been doing that. but every time i do it, water gets in my ear canal and causes irritation (feels similar to an ear infection). anyone know how i can clean it without hurting my ear?? i tried putting a tissue in there, but to no help. (link)
|
You shouldn't be spraying the saline solution directly on the piercing anyway.
Simply soak a cotton swab with the saline solution and dab it around the puncture wounds. Don't twist the piercing around or anything. If there is crusty buildup then simply wipe it off with the saline-soaked cotton swab.
If you insist on spraying your ear, for whatever reason you see fit, then put a cotton ball right at your ear canal like people do when they have an ear infection. Remove the cotton ball after you're done spraying the skin. Voila. No water in the ear.
|
|
So if you had anal sex but not actual sex would that still make you a virgin? Also same question with oral. Thanks! (link)
|
Unfortunately, there is no true medical definition for virginity. This leads people to run with their own ideas. Instead, let's pick up a real dictionary:
As per Webster's Dictionary:
Virginity:
- the quality or state of being virgin
Virgin:
- an absolutely chaste young woman
- a person who has not had sexual intercourse
- a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity
Chaste:
- celibate
- pure in thought and act
Celibacy:
- abstention from sexual intercourse
Sexual Intercourse:
- 1: heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis
- 2: intercourse (as anal or oral intercourse) that does not involve penetration of the vagina by the penis
Putting those definitions together to form accurate information:
Virginity refers to a person who has abstained from vaginal, anal, and oral intercourse.
As per some Wikipedia knowledge:
A virgin (or maiden) originally meant a woman who has never had sexual intercourse. Virginity is the state of being a virgin. It is derived from the Latin virgo, which means "sexually inexperienced woman"
Anal sex is sex.
Oral sex is sex.
Having anal sex or oral sex means you're not sexually inexperienced.
While you may be a virgin to the whole penis-in-vagina thing, engaging is anal or oral sex IS engaging in sex. Engaging in sex typically means the loss of virginity and sexual purity.
Otherwise, homosexual males would always be virgins. A homosexual male could have sex with 50 men and still claim virginity then. That doesn't quite make sense, does it?
You can also contract a wide variety of SEXUALLY transmitted diseases by engaging in oral and anal sex. STDs typically occur in non-virgins. How would you explain being a virgin when your doctor found a case of chlamydia in your anus or down you throat on your vocal cords? Your doctor would not consider you to be a virgin, free of STDs, or sexually "pure" if you were to come to him for a check-up and STD screening.
It's like many girls say, "I'm a virgin!" but they've had anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation over 100 times. Do you think that person would be considered clean, holy, pure, or similar to The Virgin Mary?
I don't know about you but I really, truly do not believe Jesus' mother had anal sex but still considered herself to be a virgin.
See what I'm saying?
Virginity = sexual purity
Sexual purity = exactly what it says
Engaging in anal sex and/or oral sex means you are not sexually pure. Not a virgin.
|
|
So i get my period once a year. For a whole week every january. i didn't get mine yet this month considering it's the first day of the new year. I was close to taking one step plan b the other day in december until i realized that if i take it, i will bleed non- stop because of all the uterus lining and blood all left in there. what's going to happen to my body with all that lining and blood in my uterus? what do you think will happen when i next get my period. will i bleed blood clots? how do i get all that lining and blood out of there? Also, is there a name for only having a period once a year? n i've only gotten my period twice my whole life. (link)
|
A lot of women who have PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) have their periods infrequently, ranging from anything like once every other month to once every few years. I am not saying you have this disorder, as there is no proper way to diagnose you with such over the internet, but those women don't bleed out and die when they get their period.
They find their period may be somewhat heavy, but not typically to the point that they need to seek medical assistance. The lining of the uterus is thickened since it wasn't shed frequently, but it usually just results in some cramping and some tissue expulsion ("blood clots"). Usually their periods don't last longer than a typical period.
There is a silly myth that the uterus has a blood supply of it's own. It doesn't. There is no magical built-up blood that has been filling your uterus. The lining is thickened, yes, but the blood hasn't been sitting in there for a year. It circulates just like the rest of your blood in your entire body does.
So, you shouldn't need to worry about bleeding non-stop, bleeding out, or dying from having you period. It may be uncomfortable to have your period but you aren't likely to die when you get it. I actually did have that sort of problem, and I got my period every single month. As a matter of fact, when I was younger, I got my period for a whole two months straight before and had to get medical help. So, when you hear stories of women who have had to go to the ER because they are bleeding so much on their period, it doesn't mean it's because they missed a period before.
Some women have to have a small medical procedure done to remove some of the lining if things get too built-up, but these are not usual either. The doctor will go in and remove excess tissue from the uterus and clean things up. It's usually and in-and-out procedure. Again, it's not too common of needing to be done so I wouldn't worry much about needing it if your doctor is aware of your problem and doesn't suggest it.
So, taking Plan B and having your period because of it shouldn't be affected by not regularly having your period. There is always a chance of having negative side-effects from Plan B, and that's why the instructional material that comes along with it says to seek emergency medical care if you bleed through a pad within 1 hour or less, have severe abdominal cramping that inhibit daily activities, run a high fever, or uncontrollably vomit. So, just because you don't get your period usually doesn't mean you WILL bleed out and die when you do bleed, but that doesn't mean there isn't any risk at all. I hope that makes sense.
|
|
Thanks for your response..Impressive....How old are you....Do you have belly button or any other fetish (link)
|
Hi there!
I'm a 24 year old female, for starters. I've been on Advicenators for a small number of years and have seen a lot of questions go through here. One question I answered a few months back was about a navel fetish, specifically the insertion of things into the bellybutton, and that spurred a short research project on the fetish so that I could supply a decent answer to it.
So, no, I'm not "into" bellybutton play like others.
Fetishes are completely normal to have, and most popular fetishes are completely safe to engage in with a trusted partner. About 30% of people report having some sort of sexual fetish. That number may sound minimal, but you must take into the account of the number of people who were dishonest in the survey and the idea that many people view "fetishism" differently. Chances are, you meet many people, including you family members and coworkers, each day that have a secret, hidden sexual fetish!
Make sure to keep your sexual fetish in check. It is unhealthy to become engulfed in these sorts of things. While it's fun to play around with when you are with a partner, you need to remember that if it interferes in your daily life or activities, inhibits your personal interaction, or causes any sorts of disturbances then you may want to speak with a sex therapist to get a few things cleared up, worked out, and managed better. :)
For note, if you're seeking to find a special play-partner on the Advicenators website then you may be displaced. Advicenators is a site to give and receive real advice anonymously, which means there is no chit-chatting and most people are fairly private in giving out photos, personal information, or even their email address. The site just isn't meant to be a hook-up zone. ;)
I did a quick Google search to see if I could direct you to a more public forum IF you are seeking playmates interested in your fetish. There are some "groups" you can find by Googling the term "Belly Button Fetish Forum" quickly, but I found not specified forum. If that is useful to you, then I'm glad I could assist you in a redirection.
|
|