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Q: i gota bf i lik him wel he has this friend she is a pain she always talks to me n says y cant u see him alot whats the deal etc and ik i cant iv been busy and i tell him i call him and i am very stressed out i want to c him more but i never can seem to go his friend is wicked annoying im sick of trying to read his mind he is so confusing. please gimme advice... :(

She can't push you around like that! and you've gotta tell her. She's just trying to make you feel bad. Don't let that girl push you around.
-Siren =)

Q: what do I do if i'm in love with another man and I'm married. My husband says we(the man I;m in love with) can be friends but things seem to be more than friends I really love this other man
I want to be with him! Help

You've really got to think about this. You married your husband for a reason. You loved him. Try to remember what first drew you to him and renew your love.
Either that, or get a divorce. Cheating just isn't nice, so I don't reccomend you do that. Maybe take a vacation from seeing both of them for awhile - a week or so, maybe - and figure out where your heart lies. Hope I helped a bit!
-Siren =)

Q: I have a big problem , I went out with my bf and he's 17 , Im 15 well a really nice gurl to him , he dumped me and went for here..... How do I get over him , He keeps talking about her everytime Im around him..... HE"S HURTING MY FEELINGS!!!!! PLZ HELP Thanks Jenipher

You've gotta tell him he's hurting your feelings. He won't know unless you do. You might even want to confess that you still like him, and you're trying to get over him. He might be sympathetic. I had an ex I couldn't get over for like 3 years. He kept being all nice to me, and I told him to leave me alone because I couldn't get over him if he kept being all nice. He just shrugged and left me alone. Lol. I hope I helped
-Siren =)

Q: As far back as I can remember I have seen things that weren't there(i.e. people, birds and dogs nothing inanimate). These things never talk, they don't scare me or interact with me. I have never told anyone about this before so I don't know if anyone else sees these. I know this is some sort of mental thing, but does anyone have any idea what this actually is? It doesn't bother me but I would like to know what it is. Does anyone know?

Sounds like symptoms of schizophrenia to me. You might want to get it checked out by a doctor, though, as I don't think any of us are actually qualified to diagnose you. Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Q: kay, I'm currently dating a guy named Eric, but my ex keeps ciming around telling me he is going to use me and stuff like that, my ex wants me back, and he's trying hard to get what he wants, i haven't told him about Eric 'cause it's only been a couple days, is he jealous of my friendship with Eric that he knows about or is that just me?

Sounds like he's jealous, really. He's making up reasons for you not to like this new guy, and he's trying to get you back. Ignore your ex, and stick with this guy. Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Q: can women fall pregnant by a man who is 20years older then them

Yes. It's always possible to get pregnant by a man, whether he's two days older, or twenty years older. As long as you're not menopausal, that is. If you are, you might be safe, but even early in menopause, it's possible to get pregnant.
Hope I answered your question!
-Siren =)

Q: Ok..I Like My BestFriends ex boyfriend. I'm afraid to tell her because i dont want her to get mad at me. But this guy is truly AMAZING..but i dont want to risk losing my friendship..but hes awesome!! I dont know what to do.. Please help me!!

Signed,
Split in Two

He's her ex? Find out how SHE feels about it. You should tell her. I mean, they broke up for a reason, right? They weren't right for each other. If she's cool with it - which she very well may be - go for him. If not, back off. There are other guys.
I had a single's club at one point...our #1 rule was "Your sister before your mister," and I think it should really always be that way. Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Q: I have a problem with conflicts, well you could say that. And whenever I feel really bad I cut..... It's hard for me to stop, because it brings out anger, I don't really know what to do, and I need help.

You should talk to someone you trust (your parents, for example,) and tell them exactly what you just told us. It's good that you know you need help. Anyone you tell that to should see that you're really being very mature about the whole thing. I hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Q: what does the word Vain mean? I hear ppl say this and I have not clue

I looked on Dictionary.com.

1-Not yielding the desired outcome; fruitless: a 2-vain attempt.
3-Lacking substance or worth: vain talk.
4-Excessively proud of one's appearance or accomplishments; conceited.
5-Archaic. Foolish.

Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Q: Okay my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months now. One of his really good friends is a girl and she and I don't get along. I dislike her because she has talked trash about him behind his back early on in our relationship telling me that I shouldn't like him, that he's a horrible person and he's a bad kisser and all this mean stuff. She used the fact that she dated hima s an excuse as well. She and I never were really good friends but she and he always have be like good friends. I now realize how hard it is for him. Because we dont like each other. He's told me how she'd make a comment when he would say he was with me or something about me and sometimes I'll admit I would roll my eyes and maybe make a comment when he talked about her. I've realized this is hard for him. I'm not sure if I want to be her friend but I do want to make things easier for him and easier for our relationship because at one point this situationw as a big factor and reason for our fights. And after our last big fight it came up again after it wasnt for like 2 months. I don't know if I should set aside my differences with her or if I should just ignore it? help please!

I think you should talk to her about how hard this is for your guy. You want to fix it, and suggest that maybe you could agree to disagree, or just not be mean at each other...
Give it a shot, though. Try to talk things out and find out exactly why you two have these differences. Clear it up - it'll help everything, I think. Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I have a new bf and al he talks about is Wars , scares and other sicking stuff, but i really dont like him that much, how do I tell him that I am going to break up with him??? PLZ HELP JENIPHER

Just be gentle about it and explain to him that his morbidity is bothering you, but that he's a nice guy. Don't be like "Stop talking about wars and stuff like that. I'm sick of it. I'm breaking up with you. Bye." That's just harsh...be as gentle as you can. Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: Is it normal to have to change your pad every 45 min., because lately I've been having to change it about every 45 min., and like my whole pad is covered in blood,(sorry this is really gross!!), am i bleeding a little bit too much?? Is there any way that i can like, slow my flow down because lately, ive been having to wear 3 maxi pads to bed...but anyways...is this normal??

You might want to talk to a doctor. I don't think you're supposed to be bleeding THAT much. I can understand changing your pad every 2 hours, but 45 minutes kinda scares me. Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Q: Due to an error that really messed up the site today, I've set up the "give advice" page to operate in "backlog mode" (because, well, we're backlogged). What this means is that instead of just seeing the newest questions first, you're seeing questions with the fewest answers first. After someone answers a question, it gets bumped down. This helps to make sure every question gets answered, and all the questions are answered equally. Questions three days old just aren't shown at all.

I put the site in this mode because we're in an emergency situation, but what do you think of it? Should we have it like this all the time, so questions with no answers are at the top, waiting for you? Or do you think we should go back to the old way, so you always see the newest questions when you click on "give advice"?

Answer with your opinion!

I honestly like the old way better. Not sure why, just do. Lol
-Siren =)

Q: I just called my boyfriend and he's moving! I know I'm only 11 but I really like him. I've known him for a while and we just started going out a few months ago. We're not breaking up but I don't know. Will the relationship work out? He's got my # and he said he'd call me that way I can get his number when he moves. I know I could write him and maybe, if my parents would let me, visit him in the summer. But what do you guys think?

If he's a trustworthy guy, stay with him! I wouldn't break up with my guy just because one of us had to move. He sounds like a sweetheart, and you guys sound like a good couple. You don't wanna get rid of that - good guys are hard to find, and if you found one, keep it, lol.
Though if you think you'd rather go and meet other guys, give it a shot.
To me, though, it sounds like you want to stay with him. Go with your gut instinct. Those are really good to use in these situations. If your first impulse is to stay with him, then do so. If not, don't. It's all up to you!
-Siren =)

Q: ok im 16 me n my boyfriend who is 17 have been going out for just over 2 weeks now.. everytime i think about him i get sweaty palms.. and all i can do is smile.. i feel like the only thing that could hurt me is him leaving me and i get all teary just thinking about it... am i falling to hard to fast?? i really think that im falling in love with him but ive seen so many of my friends go through the same thing and get hurt so im afraid to really open up.. am i being to guarded? should i end things before it gets too serious??

Awww, that's cute. That's how I felt - and still feel - about my boyfriend. The only thing that could hurt me is him leaving me or cheating on me or whatever.
I fell hard, really fast, but we've been together for 8 months on the 14th and we're looking at a really long-term thing. Don't be afraid to open up. I was all guarded, then I finally gave in and let myself open up, and I've never been happier in my entire life. Don't end things. Sounds like you've got a great thing going. Keep him, keep the relationship, and open up a little bit. Love is great. Don't be afraid of it.
-Siren =)

Q: ik this is dumb but i am really paranoid about my bf. we dont see eachother a ton becuz it is summer and we are both busy. i saw him 4 days ago but today like we didnt talk at all i have relatives over and etc. i really like him and i want to go out with him but if we dont see eachother i get all worried he will dump me or not like me or whatever. it sucks. then he has this pretty friend and blah blah blah i am just overreacting i hate it.
any advice? thank u

If he's a trustworthy guy, you have nothing to worry about. Hell, my guy's gonna be in Vegas for the rest of the summer. You may not see each other a lot, but you can still call each other. it's better than nothing, right? Tell him your concerns. He'll iron them out for you. Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Q: ok so i have a bf and one of our friends is having this party. he will be there and so will some of my friends that have never met him be4. i really dont want them to meet him becuz:
1) if they think hes hot theyll b all over him
2) if they think hes ugly later they wont shut up
3) either way they will be really annoying and say stuff to him that i wouldnt want them to
i already talked to them they dont care they said i need to calm down etc.

Let him meet them. If your friends think he's hot, don't LET them get all over him. Tell them to back off.
I brought my guy to my old school. EVERYONE there thought he was extremely hot, but I was touching him at all times so no one could steal him from me. ;)
If they think he's ugly, who cares? It's their opinion, not yours. Some "friends" of mine think my guy's ugly, but I think he's the hottest guy ever...only my opinion matters to me, as yours should to you.
I hope I helped a bit!
-Siren =)

Q: well i've decided to take the plung and kiss my bf! ahhhhh i'm scared! anyways, i need a plan. bearing in mind that i'll have to do it in school time (lunch or break) or on the way home from school. any ideas??? I WILL RATE U FOR THIS!

Yay, kisses! Lol
Try a goodbye kiss right before you two go your separate ways. Take a deep breath, kiss him, and say "See you tomorrow." He'll go home with a smile on his face. Lol. He'll think it's cute, so go for it! Best of luck!
-Siren =)

Q: hi. i've been with my b/f for about 5 mo. and i'm 14 and he's 16. i REALLY want to have a baby! i don't know why i just ReAlLy do! but also my cuz whos 20 's g/f just had a baby and she was 17(now 18) and they really struggle with financial problems. then his bro was dating a woman last year and just 2 weeks ago found out he was a dad. i really want to have a baby! what should i do?

That's great that you want to have a kid...but I seriously would NOT reccoment doing it now. Firstly, I doubt that your boyfriend is ready to be a father, no matter what he says. Financial stuff is really a problem nowadays. I'd reccomend going through college and all that first, so you can get paying tuition out of the way, and THEN have a kid. That way you can afford it and not have to worry about affording college, too. Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: wat candy is your fave:
A)Hersheys (with or without almonds)
B)Twix
C)M&Ms (any kind of M&Ms)
D)Other (if you pick this kind wat is your fave)

thanx!! luv ya!!

Out of the givens, TWIX!!!!
Other? PIXY STIX!!!! LOVE those. *purr* Suuuuugar...
-Siren =)

bio

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren