Gender:
FemaleLocation:
KansasOccupation:
House wife, Mother, Local LoonAge:
35Member Since:
July 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.I'm one of the very blessed.
I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.
Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.
Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.
I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.
advice
I will try to make this as short as possible.I'm a thirty year old female.........Five years ago, I met a man online and we fell in love but he was afraid of commitment at the time and kept going back and forth about what he wanted. I didnt hear from him for about a month and moved on. Then he calls me up and tells me that he is ready to commit, but I had already moved on and told him that I couldn't just end my relationship like that even though I never denied that I loved him deeply. He felt that I betrayed him and he was very hurt. We didn't talk for a while but eventurally we started talking again...and we have tried and gotten closer over the years. He has been through a lot in his life and has some issues because of some of those things. I ended up moving to his city about two years ago and soon after he had a bad car accident which made his issues even worse. He already feels as though every one he loves, he loses and he feels as though he might die because he has migraines and nose bleeds that he thinks may be from an anuerism but he's scared to go to the doctor. While he was getting better we talked about being together and having a baby..possible moving..etc..although we were not together. Then his mother died and he was devasted...on top of everything else that has happened and he has become almost completely emotionally detached from everyone and everything... He is very intelligent and knows that he has issues...he says he sees his mother lying in the floor and giving him her last breath and he can't stand for anyone to touch him and he has hardly goes out of the house. After him mother died, he was left with all of the bills and the house and so shortly after my son and I moved in with him..We sleep in seperate rooms and we are rarely intimate. He says he loves me, but that he can't be in love with anyone right now. He tells me that I should know that I'm special and that once he gets himself together we will work on us. I have now been here about 9 months. At first I didn't believe that he had all of these issues, but I have seen that he really is messed up...I love him with all of my heart and I feel that when he's not being depressed he is a good male influence on my son. I get mad and tired of waiting and everytime I turn around I feel like I should just leave and let him deal with this stuff on his own. but because I told him when I moved in that part of the reason I moved in with him is because I wanted to know if we could be together...now he is very clear with me that if I leave, there will be nothing left in him emotionally...and I only want to leave because I just don't want to deal with everything between now and whenever he gets himself together...I mean I have been waiting for years as it is....but I love him and everytime I think about leaving I feel like it would be the end of my life.....I love and adore this man even though we are not as intimate as I really need him to be at least a little bit to be happy. I need him to be affectionate with me and he can't because everytime anyone touches him he freaks out....I see him try sometimes and I appreciate it, I need to be held sometimes....he has even told me to go find someone to "fill in" emotionally for me until he gets over his issues. I get upset and I don't know what kind of advice I'm even looking for here......but I WILL appreciate any advice that anyone has.
Sounds like a rough situation.
Listen- He is a good influence on your son when he is in good spirits, but how often is that, and what is the influence on your son when he isn't in good spirits?
I know you love him and you don't want to leave him, but to be quite honest, it may be in your son's best interest for you to move out until he gets his life in order.
He won't be left with nothing emotionally if you leave, because you can try to move nearby. Even if you can't be nearby, you can still be there for him.
Don't think of it as bailing out on him, or your relationship- think of it as doing what is best for your boy.
A sad and depressed environment will effect your son, especially as depressed as your boyfriend is.
And just because you don't live under the same roof doesn't mean your relationship won't work out in the long run.
At this time, he just can't be what you need, nor can he be what your son needs.
I know you don't want to leave, you feel it would be the end of the world for you, but you can't think of your own wants when a child is involved. Not when what you want potentially holds negative effects on the child.
As for your guy's headaches and nose bleeds, he needs to go to the doctor. I know he doesn't want to, but he could have something that is treatable. If he has an aneurysm, without treatment, it can burst and be fatal.
If he isn't seeking therapy for his depression, he needs to. It would be good for him, especially if he is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A therapist can help him face his issues, deal with them, and move on from them.
He has to be able to be able to get past his issues before he can be involved in a healthy relationship with you or your son.
It's not that he doesn't want a healthy relationship with you, it's just that he can't do it at this time.
Basically, you need to put your own feelings aside in order to do the right thing for your son. He needs for you to provide a healthy living environment for him. I know that you know already that he comes first- over you and your boyfriend's needs.
ygs-29/f
Maybe I'm weird but I've heard people going "number 2" like 3 times a week or so. Is that healthy? I can't seem to do that. So i don't know if that's healthy or not. My metabolism is high.. My weight is average for my height and whatnot. I eat healthy and everything [fiber, blah blah] Is something wrong with me? I can't force myself to go because I've tried.. I only know when my stomach hurts.. so what is up with me?
It's healthy to go once a day.
You shouldn't have to wait for a belly ache to be able to empty your bowels.
Eating high fiber is good. I have constipation problems, and I have to drink fiber drinks like Metamucil now and again as well as a high fiber diet.
Be sure to drink plenty of water everyday.
Avoid using harsh laxatives.
If you need to take something for constipation, use stool softeners or fiber drinks. Milk of Magnesia works well, too, though it is chalky and gross. I only use that under dire circumstances.
If fiber drinks and stool softeners don't work, then you should see your doctor.
Going once a week is not good.
ygs-29/f
The title pretty much sais it all. I have 2 sisters which makes 3 kids in the family. I am the middle kid btw. But they always get special treatment. Like my older sister for example, yesterday she slapped and kicked and practically pushed me down the stairs, and I GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT! Then just a few minutes ago, i was walking through our gameroom, and she is on the phone. She starts yelling and screaming at me to leave, then my dad (who used to be in the army, and has a VERY bad temper) starts screaming at me for walking through the gameroom! It was ridiculous. Then he turns to her and goes, please don't yell anymore okay? In like the nicest tone. Then I am always getting my ipod and cell phone taken away, WHICH I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY! When i do something so minor, no other parent would punish for it. When she just get a little itty bitty "just don't do it again.", with something sooo big! Then with my little sister, she is such a little spoiled brat, whenever i get something that she wants, she screams and cries until she gets it. Then, she starts bawling about how nobody ever cares about her, so my mom goes and hugs and cuddles her and waits on her hand and foot! My grandmother/aunt/uncle/friends/cousins have all told me that i am the peace keeper, and the one who will turn out the best, because i don't need to have all of that attention. But i think every one needs some every once and a while. Its not fair at all, i get treated so unequaly around here. Just because my older sister will be out of the house in a few years, and my little sister will be entering middle school in a few years, and how she is growing up. What does that leave for me? And, my little sister is involved with this competitive dance company thing so my mom is revolved around that 24/7. Then my older sister has dance and soccer a lot. So i have to walk home from school in the freezing cold which is about 2 miles, while they are going to some silly dance classes, and getting fast food they don't even need. Plus, it totally doesn't help that when i get like a 88 on a paper, my dad is all i'm just gonna bash your head into the wall. (which he never has) but it really starts to freak me out sometimes. Please tell me what you think i should do about this. But don't say like talk to them about how you feel, because that only fixes things for a couple of hours. I just can't take this anymore, especially right now. I have just had the WORST day you couldn't even imagine.
Well, if talking to them doesn't solve it then I don't know what else you can do other than try to avoid confrontation.
You are in a sucky situation. You have the oldest child and the baby, and you stuck in the middle of all that.
Seriously, what I would do is talk to them. If it only fixes it for a couple hours, talk to them about it every couple hours until they get it pounded into their heads that you are one of their kids too, you deserve the same treatment as the rest because they are not better than you.
Also, take pride in the fact that you will turn out to be just like your family members say. Grandmas know what they are talking about. They've seen many kids grow up around them- their own, their grandkids, their nieces, their nephews, and other kids around them.
I know that doesn't help you now, but at least you won't go into the world expecting everything to be handed to you. You know what you have to work for in this life, so you'll do just fine.
But it's truly sad, though. You shouldn't have to work for your parents' attention, love, and affection.
Hang in there, kid.
ygs-29/f
I made a video but I can't load it onto youtube. It says something like wrong format. How do I make it the right format?
First, did you save the video to your computer through WMM?
If you've done that, and it still doesn't work, get a video converter to convert it to an avi.
I use Bink and Smaker RAD.
ygs-29/f
Do any of you guys know any good songs to listen to when your sad/depressed even though they mean like the same thing. But, idk i'm just depressed all of a sudden. I have no reason to be, i just am. So couldchjya help me out here? Hurry too.
Try these:
http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Sad.html
I found that link, and there are others by searching:
ygs-29/f
I have a couple of questions....
1. Why don't George's other kids participate in the show?
2. Why does Josh live with George's ex wife? How did that even come about?
Thanks in Advanced!
Maybe you can find something at this link?
http://www.bravotv.com/Real_Housewives_3/index.php
ygs-29/f
How can you tell if a cut is turned into a scar or if it's a cut and still healing but very slowly?
And how can you tell if your acne/pimple is scarred now?
Well, if a cut is still healing it would be scabbed over. The scab will shrink over time as it heals.
As for the acne one, I'm not sure so I won't attempt it.
ygs-29/f
I am looking for the sheet music by Hope that is called Who Am I To Say.
please help!
Well, you can either search the song title/artist online and see what you come up with, or you can go to your local music store (instrument sales, not CDs). If they don't have it at the music store, they will order it for you.
ygs-29/f
Ok ok I know a lot of people have been asking this ,but I really am stuck. I really want to get my best friend something really nice for christmas, but I don't know what to get her. She is 16, loves theater and musicals, normally wears (American Eagle, Holister ect,) but I dont want to get her just a shirt. I want to get her something she will like.
Thanks in advance. I'll rate you. =]
Since she is into theater, she may enjoy something like the comedy/tragedy theater masks to hang on her wall.
Here is a link to show you an example:
http://www.theater-masks.com/decorative-masks.html
I know you can get them cheaper if you shop around, and you can probably buy them as a set instead of separately.
ygs-29/f
okay I started on the 8th of this month and got off like last Friday.. Well I had sex Saturday. and he told me he may have cummed in me but he wasn't for sure cause he was drunk. I heard if your drunk your sperm count is low is it?.. and Is there a chance I can be preg. and My mom wants to take me tomorrow to the health department to be put on birth control. Would it affect anything If I got put on it. and then found out I was preg. or would it help some..
Please help
i'm 17 and scared. and The guy I had sex with Is scared to.
Just as an FYI:
Semen contains MILLIONS of sperm.
Even pre-cum contains sperm. You can get pregnant from that alone.
When you get your birth control, you should get condoms too. They are to protect you. Best to get in the habit of practicing safe sex now. Condoms are the only thing that protects you from STDs.
Also, it is highly doubtful that a pregnancy test would have an accurate result so soon after sex. Since you are 17, better wait for a test until you are 2 weeks late for your next due period.
Like YG said, be sure to let them know your situation when you go for birth control. Birth control won't help you if you are pregnant, but it could harm the baby.
ygs-29/f
I'm 20 and female, and this is my first relationship with a guy. We've been good friends since high school and we've been going out for about four months or so and we've always enjoyed being together and being there for each other regardless. He always found time to call me while he's at work and I understood that the both of us would be busy (him being at work and me being in college). But just recently for over a week and a half, he stopped calling and iming me. I got worried and tried to call him back with no luck, and then one of his friends told me that my boyfriend had been hanging out with his ex-coworker. My boyfriend finally called me back at one point and said he needed to speak to me in person soon. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I love him dearly, but now I can't stop crying, what if he ended up cheating on me? He wanted this to work out between us and even promised not to hurt me or take advantage of me, but what now? I'm afraid of what he might say to me when we see each other, I want this to work out too. Please help.
Well, the only way to work it out is to wait for him to come talk to you, see what's going on, if there is a problem then put your heads together to try and solve it.
Since you want it to work out, if he cheated the only thing you can do is try to get over it. Good luck with that- it isn't easy to do at all.
If he comes bearing some sort of bad news, then you need to take the time to think it over and see if it is something that can be left in the past, or if it something you can't let go.
If you can't let it go, then it is only fair to both of you to move on with your life.
ygs-29/f
15/f
my bf is completely taking me for granted. he never calls/txts me and when we talk online he is playing his stupid computer game and not paying attention to me.
but the weird thing is- he acts like he's all happy to be with me when we're on dates!!!
please tell me what's up with him... :( i'm so upset.
Maybe he prefers talking to you and spending time with you in person rather than on the phone or computer.
I'd take that as a compliment. It means he would rather be with you personally. Phones and computers are really rather impersonal.
Have you even talked to him about this? If not, you should. That's the way to find out what's going on in a guy's head.
My husband, for example: typical guy- can't mind read, don't read between the lines, don't know what the problem is unless it is directly stated to him.
He's not stupid by any stretch of the means, but he is a guy and he doesn't think like we ladies do.
Guys generally don't do the whole complex beat around the bush type things we ladies tend to do while expecting to be completely understood.
If you have a problem- say so, but be glad he likes to actually spend time with you and enjoys going on dates.
ygs-29/f
hey i lost my verizon env, and my parents arent getting me a new one. its the newer version. is there a way to track it without having some chip or something like that. i know its at school and its not in my locker it fell out of the car this morning.
Check at the office and see if anyone happened across it and turned it in.
Call it and see if someone answers.
If it fell out of the car, it may be in the parking lot, or street, depending on where you got out. It may have gotten run over. Check around in the area, including ditches.
ygs-29/f
15 f\ virgin
I'm a little older then 15 and a half. I love my boyfriend dearly. I really AM ready to have sex with him and I want to give him something I can't take back or give anyone else. I would have sex with him, however, I feel I'm just too young! I know for a fact no one would find out about it, I rather it be personal. I would like to know your opinion. I know I am ready, I just consider 15 young.
thanks alot, xo
I can't tell you what I think is too young, because my opinion is that you are just that.
However, that really isn't fair, now is it.
What is fair is this- If you are worried that you are too young, then you really aren't as ready as you think. Why? Shred of doubt. Don't ignore that, either. You have that doubt for a reason. It's called thinking smart.
Trust me- if you love each other dearly, he won't have a problem with waiting until the right time, the right age, and zero doubt. Why? Because he respects you.
ygs-29/f
im 17/f. for a few weeks now ive been talkin to this guy. he likes me so hes always around me when he sees me. hes fun to hang out with but as of now were only friends, maybe FWB bc i just got outta a relationship and dont have feelings for him. my two really good/best friends cant stand him. which for one i think is really unfair bc they dont really know him. he can be very out there and wild-actin, and ill admit he can get annoying sometimes, but they act like they just hate him and are always giving me grief about it, saying things like "omg are you gonna go out with him?? how can you stand him, id kill him!" and just stuff like that. ive told them before that they dont even know him, that hes not always like that. ill admit after school when him, our other mutual friend and my two girl friends are all outside, he acts really crazy and can get irritating, but theyre really pushin it. theyre so judgemental. how am i supposed to handle this? its not that i care what they think about him.. its that they talk about it.. or him.. or me soo much and wont get off my back about it and its freaking annoying and makes me wanna slap em. any ideas ???
You just have to be blunt about it. Tell them outright to stop, they've made their opinions loud and clear, you don't want to hear it any longer.
If they don't stop, tell them if they respect you they will knock it off.
If they STILL don't stop, well, at least you know how much your friendship is respected.
ygs-29/f
what's a pap smear?
It is where the doctor feels in your vagina and takes cell scrapings to check for abnormalities- cysts, cancerous cells, etc.
Yah, they suck. I won't lie- I hate them, but you should really get checked once a year or so, depending on your age. They will tell you how often, but if you get birth control, it will be yearly.
ygs-29/f
15/f Well i have this friend. Ive known him for like 1 year and 1/2.he has a gf hes been w/ for about 2 months. He really likes her.But he told me she only wants to hug him.No kissing or anything. But recently he told me taht we need each other. he also told me that im beautiful. hes confusing me..does he like me or his girl?is there any chance for us in the future??
Wow, that's pretty shaky ground you're treading on, there.
Listen- From what you say, sounds like he is wanting more than just the hugs that his girlfriend is willing to give him. He really likes her, yet he needs you? Sounds to me like he needs your "more than hugs" more than your companionship.
Sounds to me like he is looking for a booty call. Sounds to me like he might just be the type of guy to cheat on his girlfriend.
If he is willing to cheat with you, he is willing to cheat on you. Not saying that is his intention, but beware, because that's how it sounds.
If that is the case, you really, honestly don't want a chance with him in the future.
ygs-29/f
this school year, i've been moving from one clique to another cause i didn't fit in. until finally, i think my friends now are the ones.:) i love that they've accepted me and all but i can't help but get insecure because they're all pretty and fit. i know i shouldn't feel this way cuz there's more than just physical appearance but i can't help but feel it. especially when we go out and they could wear dresses or shorts with it looking good on them. please help meee.:(
13/f
Remember that when in the presence of true friends, you no longer need to feel insecure. You found friends that you feel are true friends, and they have accepted you for who you are. Give them the same respect and accept them for who they are. They wouldn't want you cutting yourself down or feeling insecure because of how they look.
You gotta start being happy being you. Yah, you have faults, but so do they. So do I. So does everyone. Our faults are a part of what makes us unique individuals.
Your friends have accepted you, now you have to accept yourself. Once you do that, then your friends are your friends- they aren't pretty and fit girls who make you look down on yourself because of their appearance.
I don't know. Maybe that didn't make sense.
ygs-29/f
ok i got a question what happends if you have a boyfriend but you hate his mom. Also you moved in with him and you rent out rooms she is the landlord but she walks in when ever she wants and brings anyone in whenever she wants. She wakes people up at weird hours i mean i know its her house still but there has to be laws against something!
Well, the simple solution (though it may not be so simple) is to rent rooms elsewhere.
Even if you don't like her, you need to respect her. She is his mom, and she and he both deserve for her to be respected. Always remember that.
However, she isn't being respectful by barging in whenever she wants. If you pay rent on a room, that is YOUR room.
She has no right to just come in no more than she would have any right to barge into a house she rents. That is trespassing. She owns it, but you pay for it.
But like I said, the simple solution is really, truly, honestly the simple solution. Move out.
If you seek legal action against her or cause a ruckus, you may end up with more issues than you bargained for.
Just think, if you marry this guy, she will be a part of your life for the rest of your life.
Moving out would be harder now, but far, far easier in the long run.
ygs-29/f
I recently had a scrapbooking party at my house. My sister got to meet a few of my friends from work. This was the FIRST time she had met them. I got a phone call from her a few days later, asking if she could have the home addresses of 4 of the women from my party. I didn't have the addresses on hand, so I told her I'd get back to her. She wanted to send them cards. She later told me she had looked in the phone book and gotten another one of the addresses on her own and sent a card to one of my other friends. Do I confront my sister? I think it's weird to send cards in the mail to people that are my friends that she's only met once. Also, she doesn't know the politics in my workplace. Help!
I wouldn't fret over it. If they don't like her sending them cards, they'll say something. The women surely realize she doesn't know how things are in your workplace.
She's surely just trying to be friendly, and she may not know any other way she feels comfortable with to try to get to express friendship to folks she don't know.
If the ladies do happen to mention that they are offended or don't want her sending cards, then would worry about saying something to her.
Until then, there really isn't any harm in it, and there really isn't any sense of potentially hurting her feelings unless someone has a problem with it.
ygs-29/f