about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
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Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

I am 18 years old and I just had my first kiss a few days ago. It was kind of awkward and didn't go as well as I would have liked. He could tell I was nervous and still am, so he hasn't kissed me again since, but I know he wants too. Anyway, I am planning on going for it again the next time I see him, does anybody have any tips on how I can make this time better? I'm still really nervous... Thanks :)

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542507


That's a question I've answered before, very much like yours. I'm sure you'll find it useful ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i28020



by zac efron!??
is that true? honestly.

Did you look at the bottom?

"The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious."

It says it right after the story.

It's fake.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Today was my first day of high school as a freshman. And almost anything that could go wrong did.

My locker wouldn't open and there was no one in the office so I could get it fixed. I got lost at least 4 times. And I only sat with one friend [[the whole table was empty except us two]] at lunch cuz my 'bff' said I couldn't sit with her cuz her table was full.

Is there anything I can do to make my second day and the dayss to come any better?

Just be confident in yourself. If you tell yourself you're going to get lost, you most certainly will. Since I'm assuming you got to all of your classes yesterday, you should now know where they are, and if you don't, don't be afraid to ask a teacher where someone's class is. By the third day, you should be fine. C'mon- you can't possibly get lost EVERY day, and it's perfectly normal to get lost on the first few days. Don't worry about it ;]

I'm sure there were other tables you and your friend could sit at, like with other people. Just ask other people [if there are open seats] if you can sit with them. That's really all there is to it. There aren't any secrets to learning self-confidence other than to just put yourself out there and hope for the best. ;]

As for your best friend- what kind of best friend is she? If she were TRULY your best friend, she would be offering you a seat at her table, and if it were full, she'd start a new table with you. She doesn't sound like a good friend.

As for your locker, it probably didn't open because you were nervous. Just enter your combination at a normal pace, and if you are relaxed about it, it will open fine ;]. Have you ever noticed that the more you're stressed about something, the worse it goes? ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

what are some things that i can expect in high school?

Hello.

I was a freshman two years ago- and I have to say.. it was one of the most scary things I've EVER experienced! I was thrown in the trash can on the first day and it was horrible. Some kid even had to go to the emergency room! It was the WORST first day of school of my entire life! I almost didn't go back!

Haha- so hopefully you didn't take that seriously- because it really wasn't like that at all. I always play that trick on people who ask this question. C'mon- I gotta have a little fun! High school is NOT scary. It actually is a lot more fun. You have more freedoms than middle school and you can take REALLY awesome classes. If you have to chance to take a Speech class- DO IT! You think it will be the dumbest class ever and you'll be really bored- but you get the chance to get really good at speeches- and you'll learn really awesome things! When you get to be a Junior/Senior- take AP and Honors classes- these will impress colleges and they will want you to go to their college if you do well enough on them.

People may tell you that Freshmen year doesn't count for anything- so slacking off won't matter until you're an upperclassmen. This is wrong. Colleges will look at your cumulative GPA- and that includes your freshmen year. Don't slack off; you'll regret it later.

Just to debunk the rumor- There is NOT a "Freshmen Friday". Sure, this used to exist back in the 60s and 70s, but it doesn't anymore. Any school that actually still does it will probably end up getting sued by a bunch of parents. So most don't do it. Chances are, your high school won't do it.

Here is my list of DOs and DON'Ts:

Do:
-Do all of your homework.
-Make new friends [some old ones will naturally just fade away] and do this by just starting up simple conversations with people- and it will eventually lead to a great friendship. Ask someone you may want to get to know for a pencil in class.. that's a classic. Sit with new people at lunch.
-Ask the teacher for help if you need it.

Don't:
-Don't talk to seniors.. they most likely DON'T like you. The won't give you any respect.
-Don't wear revealing clothing- seniors will automatically hate you.

All in all- if you just be yourself- you'll be fine. If you have upperclassmen in any classes- you'll get to know them over the course of the year- and you may end up meeting some really great people. I know that some of my best friends I met at school freshmen year- and most of them were 10th grade or older. Not all seniors hate you- some will be welcoming- but just assume the worst in them, at first. After awhile- you'll know who to avoid and who to warm up to. You'll be fine. Don't worry.

--Jack
(16/m/Junior)

[view]

this might sound really stupid but how do you know when your in love? i really really really like my boyfriend but i wouldn't wanna say i love you if i didnt mean it...thing is, we've only been dating for like 3 weeks, for anyone in a relationship how long did it take before you said 'i love you' please dont tell me "you'll know when your in love" cause that doesnt really help...tell me anything about your relationships...thankss.

I think it shouldn't be said until you've been dating for at least a year and a half, but preferably two years. Why do I say this, you ask? Well, to be frank, it pisses me off when people in relationships at, for instance 3 weeks or 3 months say "I love you!", when they don't know what it means. Love is indescribable, and to just throw it around as if it were nothing is SO irritating to me. Love isn't something you can normally feel after being with someone for a few weeks or two months or something; love is something you feel when you're about to get married or are already married. Don't get me wrong, there are certainly exceptions, but chances are you're not it, to be honest.

My advice to you is to not say it until you're absolutely CERTAIN it's love, and really, you'll know. There IS a fine line between infatuation [which teenagers mistake as love] and actual love. When you're mature enough, you'll know what that difference is. Now I'm not trying to sound like I'm some master of love because I'm not. I've never felt love like that, I've only felt love for my family, friends and most importantly God, but that's a different kind of love.

Personally, 3 weeks is too early ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i want more ways 2 tell my gf i love her

i cant think of any

please help me :)

thanx

Well sometimes it's actions that can do it [and if your mind is there, get it out of the gutter =P].

Like give her a poem you wrote yourself, or make her a card for no reason, take her out on a picnic that you made yourself, or anything else along those lines.

Girls really love when you do that type of stuff ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

okay so im on a verizon wireless plan and i pay 5 bucks a month for 250 texts well temporarily, but i have to be really be careful with not going over because my dad is very strict, and he'll probably kill me if i did, but the person i text the most has verizon wireless, so if i went over, would i have to pay still?

I used to have that plan, and it was 250 texts to ANYONE in and out of network. They weren't unlimited in-network texts.

I have a plan now, which is a way better deal than what you're getting. It's actually I think $10 a month, and everyone on your bill gets unlimited texting in AND out of network. So you could send 1,000 texts to your friend who had verizon, and then 2,056 [random number] to someone not in verizon, and it would still be the same amount.

But if your dad isn't willing to look into that plan, just be sure to count your texts like you're doing, because I know what it's like to go over on texting ;].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Sorry this will seem very vague, but I want to be in fear the guy in question ever finds this.

There's a guy and I think he might ask me out. The only problem is, I know for a fact it will only be so he can have sex with me, or he will try to pressure me into sex.

Now, I'm not asking whether I think this is what he wants. After all I'm being vague, that would be stupid. I'm pretty sure these are his intentions.

Usually I'd say no, but the only problem is I sort of like him. So should I say yes and give him a chance and if he tries to pressure me into it I say no and dump him? Haha help!

Honestly, I wouldn't even get involved with him. "I know for a fact it will only be so he can have sex with me,"- well then that tells me it's for NOTHING but sex; he doesn't care about your personality, he doesn't care about anything but the thought of having sex with you. That's wrong, and I'm glad that you have thought this through, but honestly, I advise that you don't date him. There are plenty of guys out there who will date you WITHOUT wanting sex. You just have to be patient ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

My hair used to be all dry and sticky because I never really used much conditioner. But lately Ive been using lots of conditioner so my hair is super soft. But now Im noticing everyone elses hair, and its all dry like mine used to be. Yesterday someone said to me "your hair is so soft. you must use loads of conditioner". So people know that conditioner makes your hair soft, but they dont do it? Is soft hair like, not in? lol help please, i feel like a freak.

You start to notice as you grow up that some people will just stop personal hygiene routines either completely or a little bit.

Personally, I like softer hair, and I say that in the least-gay way possible.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i need to know how to make out
like the steps or whatever!!

Please

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542507


That's a question I've answered before, very much like yours. I'm sure you'll find it useful ;]


From there:

I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]

But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]

Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.

Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.

There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.

From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:

1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.


My friend on here, Laura, answered a question similar to this, and she gave a great answer. I will copy her answer, but know that credit goes to her.

www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542699

Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.


Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.


If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.


And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!


Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!


From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

18/f
So me and my ex boyfriend went out for over a year. I broke up with him 6 months ago because feelings faded. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. For his benefir we didnt talk for a few months he clearly wasnt over me. Hes been dating a girl for 2 months and he thinks he loves her. I was legitimately happy for him. We started talking again.

She left him a week ago and hes come to me for support. As he describes his lost relationship, it makes me feel miserable, jealous, remembering what we had. I just dont know how to comfort him without rekindling old wounds.

What should I do?

If you are worried that bad feelings will be brought back to you in helping him, you really don't HAVE to help him.

Sure, it would be the nice thing to do, but in that situation, awkwardness is sure to happen, and I would try to avoid it.

Let him down gently by saying that you don't feel comfortable helping him, because you don't want to remember what you two have been through. There's really nothing wrong with saying that, in my opinion, as long as it's not in a bitchy way.

I know if my ex came to me for consolation, I would feel really awkward about it, and like my mom always says- you NEVER have to put yourself in a situation you don't want to be in.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

My exboyfriend and I were in a very close relationship. I thought it was perfect. Seriously. Long story short, he eventually told me that he wanted a break. When I changed my status on myspace to "Single" a week later, he told me that he was shocked that I did that.

That happened a month ago. I still love him so much. I miss him. I haven't seen him since he told me he wanted a break. I want to get together and talk to him, and tell him how much of a mistake I think the break was. We were so close. I thought he loved me.

Should I ask him to meet me somewhere? If yes, what do I say? I love him.

He said he wanted a break. That means eventually it should end, and therefore, when HE is ready, HE will contact you.

The more you push him to talk, the more time it will take for him to realize whatever it was that he wanted to realize because of this break.

It's best if you wait for him to talk to you first. Until then, please be patient.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

so im a sophomore in high school this year. I'm not really popular, and like all of my friends that i know have a different lunch period than me...and i dont want to be sitting alone. And it's hard to make new friends at me school, it really is. And alot of people are going to know each other during the lunch period that i'm in..but im going to not like anyone....!

help?

Just try sitting at a table with a few people by asking "Is anyone sitting in this seat?", and then ask if you can sit down. Even if you don't know them. How else are you going to meet people? Trust me, there aren't any special potions or spells that will do it for you ;].

Just put yourself out there, and you'd be surprised to find that people are very welcoming.

Here's some conversation starters if you so desire:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545090

Just be yourself and always have a smile on your face ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I don't understand why girls send naked pictures of themselves to guys. I'm a female, and strictly good friends with a couple of guys that have a whole lot of pictures of girls i KNOW and am friends with on their phone. It freaked me out to be honest with you. The girls weren't even dating the guys..
Basically, I have no idea why you'd send pictures of yourself to a guy when it's pretty obvious they will be sent around. It doesn't make too much sense to me..

One word: attention.

These girls you're talking about are so miserable, they'll do anything for attention, even if it means whoring themselves to any random guy they can send pictures to.

But they get weird satisfaction out of it.

I don't really understand it either.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

15.f -- sophomore in high school to be.

last year, i spent way too much time on homework & studying. i didn't have any lack of understanding because i mostly got As, but i really want to speed it up this year.

last year, most days, i would do my homework & studying during lunch at the library for 40 minutes, but i still had 2-3 hours of homework a night. my teachers did not give too much homework, but i was just really slow in getting it all done because i wanted to do other things and some of the homework was hard for me.

here are all of the classes that i am taking.
AP US history
english H (my teacher likes poetry)
french III H
algebra II H
driver's ed
accounting
law
biology

please do not tell me to "google it" because i DID google it. i want YOUR opinions. ONLY GIVE LINKS if you point out what is important.

(1) can someone give me some tips on how to complete my homework faster without doing it all wrong?

please note: i will try to concentrate during class and while i complete my homework, and we're not allowed to do homework during class. only during lunch, which i will do anyway, and on the bus i can study.

(2) does anyone have any SPECIFIC tips on how to do do my homework & studying faster for any of my classes? if you've had one of those classes, what did you have to do?

i am almost half and half visual and auditory learner, but more so visual. so i do love flashcards and tables and charts. i have raided the internet of all "study tips" etc. and i do them all. i'm not stupid by any stretch of imagination, but school was legitimately my LIFE last year, and i really don't want that to happen again. as i said before, i did not have any lack of understanding so i do not need to go to extra help unless i really am having trouble. i just want to speed myself up. i have read about speed-reading and blocking out time tables in your schedule, but

(3) what else can i do?

(4) does anyone have any SPECIFIC tips on doing homework and studying (i know about not watching tv or turning on your computer or answering texts/calls) that not many people know about, or that are really effective?

thank you so much.

1. To be honest, if you try to rush yourself doing your homework, you're going to make silly mistakes. Trust me, I'm just like you; I want to finish my homework really fast, but then when I do it, I end up getting half of it wrong, and then I wonder what the point was. If you're on a tight schedule, then yeah it's okay to go a little faster, but generally, go the pace you're going. 2-3 hours of homework in high school is normal, actually. Really the only way to speed it up is to read your notes and such from that day before you start your homework, and that will refresh your memory so you're not like "Oh my gosh- I forgot what I learned today..".

2. Hmm well the only classes I've had that you're going to take are Algebra 2 and Biology, which I took two years ago in my freshman year. For Algebra 2, really all there is to it is memorizing formulas and the way to do each problem. That's it. So the best way to do that is to read your notes a lot to yourself, especially before a test.
For biology, it's a lot of memorizing with vocab and concepts. So flash cards are good for the vocab, and the concepts just involve reading them over and over, like with Algebra 2.

3. I've found that you can actually get your work done a lot quicker and more efficiently if you take a 5-minute break every half hour. I know that sounds like it will just take too much time, but really it gives you a chance to get up, get a drink of water or something, maybe go outside for a second, and just relax. Then when you get back to your homework, you're much more in the mood.

4. To be honest, if you can do your homework and watch TV, be on the computer, talk on the phone, etc., then by all means DO IT. I usually do my homework while I'm on the computer unless I really have to focus. Usually the TV is on in the background, too, so that it's not too quiet.

Something else I suggest you do is NOT do homework on your bed or on the couch or anything. Do it at a desk or table. If you get into the habit of doing your homework somewhere comfortable, you'll start to get tired and then you'll fall asleep on your homework [trust me, I've done that my fair share of times...], and then you wake up at 9 at night and wonder where the past four hours went. Sitting at a desk or table eliminates that ;].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i wanna give my boyfriend a hickey but i don't know if he'd be okay with it, i dont wanna ask him thats awkward...so my question is how do i give a hickey and do most guys like it? thankss

Actually most guys don't like it. I'm a guy, I think I would know.

There was this kid in my Spanish and Chemistry class last year who got one, and he was picked on about it for a few weeks. You wouldn't want to do that to him, would you? ;]

But you'll only know if HE likes it if you ask HIM, not us ;]. If he wants one, well then go for it.

only search advicenators.com


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

ok so im a dood (obviously) im 17 and i skateboard alot and snowboard too i love metal and hiphop and to be honest i dont think theres a Homosexual strand in me (i'd just like to say now that if anything offends anyone i honestly do not mean it in the way that it seems unless i make it block clear i do NOT hate gays and lesbians i have a couple of freinds who are)

now then... i am the only guy in a class of girls and have been for a year now. all of them have boyfreinds and i am single and have been for a loong time.. at one point or another everyone of them have said "my god i swear your gay *Followd by a chuckle*" i dont get mad or anything i know thier joking but recently its been getting silly... i work for Asda on thier Home shopping and recently they have employed a few people on for seasonal summer work. theres a sweet Thai girl around my age who's basically asked me if i was gay. i asked her why does she think im gay (after telling her the story of the girls in my class) and she said its cos' your pretty.

I AM NOT PRETTY!! AAAAGGHHH >:( i dont think i am at least. i mean there are times were i ACT a little fruity to get a laugh an a half from everyone because i play on them all thinking im gay but thats very rare that i do that. hmm, im gettin a bit frustrated thinking about it because my second question is

2.) is it because of this that i havent got a girl freind?? i havent had one in a very long time and its starting to bite me in the ass a little now because i get lonely in class thinking they ALL have someone.. :( is it because of this that i am a complete turn off to girls? is it that they would rather have me as a freind? dont get me wrong i would rather be with the girls in my class sometimes because theyre all great fun to be around. i dont fancy any of them im not obbsessed with sex, i'm more interestedon what thier thoughts are and i mean it. i'v been told by all of them that im not like the other guys but is it because ime "gay" or because im so nice... im casual no worries most of the time i play guitar skate snowboard i have a bunch of stuff i love to do besides sit on the pc for a bit. i might have trailed of the point a bit so ile shut it now.. thanks for responses. D

Hey dude- I'm just going to let you know that people used to do the same crap to me.

What you should do is just forget about what they say, as hard as that may sound. They could think this of you because you haven't had a girlfriend, but for me it was because most of my friends were and still are girls. So I don't know. To be honest, if any guys say it to you, it's probably because they are jealous that you haven't gone through the stupid drama of dating yet. Really, it's not worth it, and most of them know it ;]

My point is that you just be who you are, do what you're doing and be happy with yourself. It doesn't matter whether you're gay or straight. You're still a person. And if people want to pick on you like that for something that isn't even true, let them. There definitely are plenty worse things they could say, though I know how you feel =/.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Okay so I work at Subway and have for about three weeks. Lately people have been really mean to me: I was never trained in much except making sandwhiches and so this one girl whose my age sighes heavily every time i need her help and makes nasty comments about how mad she gets with me, talks about me to everyone, and is unfair with me more then anyone else. Now two other workers are talking about me, when they think I can't hear, and i got a knife flung at me for apparently just ' standing there' when there was a bunch of people in line. There is only two people who are nice to me at all, people who don't stop talking as soon as i walk into the room. I've been treated terribly by almost every single person there and feel like quiting because their driving me out. Am i over reacting or does this sound reasonable?

You're definitely not over-reacting. I think once people started talking about you behind your back, it was okay to want to quit. And obviously the knife thing doesn't help the cause. That actually is a very unsafe environment for you to be in, so like the other person said, talk to your boss and let them know about everything that is making you uncomfortable, and see if he can solve the problem. If he can't or just refuses to, well then I think it would be alright if you quit.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

If I (guy) see a movie with a friend (girl), should I buy her ticket? It seems like doing so would be awkward, and not doing so would also be awkward. So which is the least awkward?

Honestly, if you two are just friends, the most awkward would be if you payed. Sure, it would be a nice gesture, but it could send signals you don't want to be sending.

Whenever I go to the movies with some female friends, everyone pays their own, unless their boyfriend comes with them?

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

guys have asked me out,just not great looking ones.
WHY DOES THAT HAPPEN! i know im not the onlyone im sure pretty girls get asked out by really ugly guys no offense.
i hate it. they say im a pretty girl but how come the guys i like NEVER LIKE ME. or liike the cute ones neevr ask me out. i think i AM a little attractive thouh but when will a cute guy ask me out!

what should i do?>

Honestly, stop being picky about looks. I know that sounds harsh, and I really don't mean it to, but what I'm sure you've heard, or if you haven't already, you will hear, that at least you have people liking you. I've had so many friends tell me that no one likes them as more than a friend, and they would kill to have even the "dorkier" or "less hot" guys like them even a little. Appreciate that, please.

If you're going to be so dead-set on looks, you're not going to get what you want.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

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