this might sound really stupid but how do you know when your in love? i really really really like my boyfriend but i wouldn't wanna say i love you if i didnt mean it...thing is, we've only been dating for like 3 weeks, for anyone in a relationship how long did it take before you said 'i love you' please dont tell me "you'll know when your in love" cause that doesnt really help...tell me anything about your relationships...thankss.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Ramona answered Friday August 29 2008, 12:14 pm: This is pretty simple to awnser i've dated my bf for at least a year when i finally told him i loved him he was so happy! i felt sparks the first time i ever talked to him but before that i never thought anything of him i never even noticed him but after i got to know him i came to find that this guy is what ive wanted in a bf i could'nt stop thinking of him when he was gone i had had this stupid feeling in my tummy that i wanted gone so much because i knew that he was a special person and i had strong feelings for him but anyway we dated for at least a year and i told him i loved him he was thrilled bc he was afraid to tell me first...hope this helps ;) [ Ramona's advice column | Ask Ramona A Question ]
HeartedASHollow answered Friday August 29 2008, 4:06 am: You know when you're in love when you're able to kiss them passionately and not feel that you're committing some kind of crime. That the world meant you two to be together. That if you didn't have them, you wouldn't feel so "on the go" all of the time. You would feel so inspired you would run a marathon just because of all the confidence and power they give you. you feel like you could rule the world and do it right.
Knowing that you would give your dreams up for them and not regret it because you have something so unreal in your life to love that loves you back that nothing your dreams could do. That you would do anything for each other.
That you would die just to hear them talk because not seeing them is like being on an island all by your lonesome. Cold, dark and treacherous.
When you say "I love you" you never have to question if it is right or wrong because you want them around you so much that if you could be one person, you would be. Just to always be together and never have to be apart.
But 3 weeks is not love. A year or more is like potential love. When you know that you can give up all of yourself to one person knowing they won't abuse anything you have to offer or the knowledge you have given them of yourself. Knowing that trusting them is like kissing them. So easy, you don't even think twice.
That's what love is like. Or at least that is how you should feel to determine if you are.
Honestly if you are under 18, you probably won't find it for a long time. High school sweet hearts are rare and only really truly resided back in about the 40s 50s.
rainbowcherrie answered Thursday August 28 2008, 9:49 am: Firstly, as much as I respect his advice (and I really don't mean to criticise him), I really have to disagree with what CuxMiBeckNow7 said about it not being said for at least two years. Studies show that on average, people fall in love around six times in their lifetimes so logically, your first love will be in your teenage years.
I'm nearing 17 years old and I've been in love once. I knew I was in love with him after just a few weeks. It makes me angry when people tell me that I wasn't, because I know that I was. Even though we aren't together anymore, I don't doubt that the emotion I felt was love. I can pinpoint the exact moment it happened, right down to what song was on the stereo at the time. For me it was an incredibly overwhelming rush of emotions, although I can't speak for everyone.
As you will have gathered from the answers you recieved to this question, everyone's experience of love is different. Give yourself some time for your relationship and feelings to develop. You might find that you fall in love with your boyfriend next week but you might find that it never happens with him. None of us can tell you how you will know because (and I know you didn't want to hear this) you really do just know. It's indescribable and it's personal to everyone. [ rainbowcherrie's advice column | Ask rainbowcherrie A Question ]
Comrade answered Thursday August 28 2008, 5:30 am: Love is an emotion, a state of being. It's not a club you join after fulfilling X requirements, like being in a relationship for a certain amount of time. You either have it or you don't. You either know you're in it or you aren't. If you have to ask, that usually means you're not there yet.
It varys by relationship. I've had relationships where I've gone the entire duration without having to say "I love you". I've had relationships where the phrase let slip on Day 2. In my current relationship (Currently going on strong for over two years), the "I love you" came out of the bag before the first month was up.
Relationship length doesn't (or shouldn't) factor in. If you feel you love a guy, who. Conversely, if you don't, or aren't sure if you do, don't feel pressured to. You have all the time in the world, and you stand nothing to lose by waiting.
An old saying goes "If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it". Applied to your case, it would read "If you have to ask, you probably shouldn't".
On a side note, I really pity those who feel that they alone have "love", and have the brass balls to tell others "What you have isn't REAL love. Believe me, I know your feelings better than you do." [ Comrade's advice column | Ask Comrade A Question ]
AngelicEyes070 answered Wednesday August 27 2008, 10:27 pm: In the past I have had 2 serious relationships.
1. Alec- We dated for about a year and 2 months. I didn't really fall in love with Alec for a while. Maybe about 8 months in. It was awhile, but he loved me long before. I said I did but I know I didn't. Our relationship was nice, he loved everything about me and I admired him, but I knew that it wasn't a strong kind of love, it was the kind you feel about someone you have known for a long time and that you know you love them, but you can't really feel it.
2. Talon- I have been dating him for a little over 3 years now. We had been childhood friends, ever since I was born, but after my parents died and I was adopted, I hadn't seen him. I was 14 when he had moved into the town I had lived in ( we didn't know). I was dating Alec at the time and Talon was the reason that relationship ended. Later after I was 15 1/2 ish, Talon and I had met up again for months as close again....It might have been a month before I knew I loved him or earlier...You know when you love someone. I love Talon so deeply it felt like something was pulling me from the inside. I would just get a feeling of completeness and an indescribable feeling, because there wasn't really a word to describe it. I have been with him ever since.
Each relationship is different. There are different ways to love and I don't think that there is really a "too early" to be in love, but that depends on how well you know the guy. If you have just known him for 3 weeks, then yeah maybe...
You will feel it and don't worry about saying it because when you are in love you won't have to think when you say it, it will just be like breathing...natural, not well thought out.
ADDiCT3DTOHiMx answered Wednesday August 27 2008, 9:11 pm: I knew I loved my boyfriend after a couple of months. It can take longer than that, or shorter than that. It all depends. And I know you said you didn't want to hear it, but you really will know when your in love. You feel like you would do anything in the world to make the other person happy, you care about their feelings, they are constantly on your mind, they give you butterflies, they cheer you up, they make you smile, and you always want to spend time with them.
When you love someone you can look them in the eyes and honestly say that you love them without feeling guilty or not meaning it 100%. Love is one of the greatest things in the world, and trust me, you'll know when you are. (: [ ADDiCT3DTOHiMx's advice column | Ask ADDiCT3DTOHiMx A Question ]
Cux answered Wednesday August 27 2008, 9:10 pm: I think it shouldn't be said until you've been dating for at least a year and a half, but preferably two years. Why do I say this, you ask? Well, to be frank, it pisses me off when people in relationships at, for instance 3 weeks or 3 months say "I love you!", when they don't know what it means. Love is indescribable, and to just throw it around as if it were nothing is SO irritating to me. Love isn't something you can normally feel after being with someone for a few weeks or two months or something; love is something you feel when you're about to get married or are already married. Don't get me wrong, there are certainly exceptions, but chances are you're not it, to be honest.
My advice to you is to not say it until you're absolutely CERTAIN it's love, and really, you'll know. There IS a fine line between infatuation [which teenagers mistake as love] and actual love. When you're mature enough, you'll know what that difference is. Now I'm not trying to sound like I'm some master of love because I'm not. I've never felt love like that, I've only felt love for my family, friends and most importantly God, but that's a different kind of love.
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