I'm Kathryn but most call me KD. I'm a 16 year old sophomore. I'm rare to come by seeing that I try to solve everything I can for others before myself. I am very honest and I don't lie to make anything seem not as bad as it honestly is. I give suggestions that I myself would do if it were in my case.
I may ask for help or someone's opinion on a personal matter but don't feel bad if I do more for you than you do for me. I don't let people in. My words should tell you exactly what kind of person I am without a picture to second guess.
I'm the type of person who will fall so someone else can stand. I won't stop helping people until the day I die because I know what it is like to be in need of something and no one is there for you.
Don't ever be afraid to send me a message even if it isn't serious. There is only one kid of help to me. The kind that is given at all.
If you can't find me, I'll be walking in the door when the rest of the world walks out.
If you have a very serious matter that you wish to contact me about URGENTLY, then you may use my AIM screen name to reach me or my MySpace. I appreciate feedback to know if my advice helped at all.
Thank you,
-KD
Gender: Female
Location: South Lyon, MI
Occupation: High School Student
Age: 15
AIM: HeartedASHollow
Member Since: August 27, 2008
Answers: 45
Last Update: October 12, 2008
Visitors: 5036
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Background info:
Ok so this guy is barely 17 and a member of a neo-nazi club, he basically lives in the ghetto, he blames EVERYTHING on the immigrants who live there (which makes no sense cause its a very immigrated area) and he thinks they're the reason that his town has so many troubles with crime and unemployment.. his dad was a police and got shot at a gangland shooting a bit less than 5 years ago and his brother is equally filled with hate.. he's actually in prison right now for a race crime. So the dude wrote an essay in his english literature class praising Hitler's Mein Kampf and got in soooo much trouble for it. He's becoming more and more aggressive and angry every day.. and everyone is afraid of where he's headed.
Personal Issue/Questions:
Now I'm supposed to help, but I don't even UNDERSTAND! What's the cause of his situation?? Like is he racis simply because of what happened to his dad, or is that just an un-related coincidence?? What should he do, or what can I do for him, to change his behaviour and mind-set?? Why is he in that racist organization and how is it affecting him and would he be "cured" if he just got out?? How do I explain to him what his future will look like if he continues to where he's headed?
General Issue/Question:
I'm so mad at our society for letting organizations like these exist. They turn innocent people who just don't know how to deal with their anger into criminals. What can we as a society do to deal with people like him, and prevent this from happening? How can I open the eyes of other people in my community to what's going on? (link)
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Oddly, this sounds exactly like the movie "American History X," everything about it...but watch the movie. The movie tells you something that no other person on here would ever be able to understand.
Just rent it "American History X" with Edward Norton and Edward Furlong. You won't be disappointed.
-KD/f/16
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this isnt me, im just wondering, so if you were adopted and you adopted parents adopt another guy, and is it wrong to marry and love him? and he lvoes you back? i mean we're both adopted! (not me) just wondering (link)
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Morally, probably but because there is no blood between the two, it is legal. So it isn't incest but I'd advise staying out of that kind of love with any kind of family. ha ha.
-KD/f/16
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What are you seriously going to do with them? I mean, they say one thing, but do the other.
Anyways, I suppose I should start from the beginning. My names Megan, and I've been completely Anti-love for the past few months, due to the final realization that it's not really something I'm good at. I have problems staying interested in one guy, and it drives me competely nuts. And when I actually care, they don't.
So for the past few weeks I've been having all these mixed feelings about this one guy. He's a real sweety. But sometimes I think he's just saying all these cute corny lines just because he can, not because he means it. It drives me nuts, although I should just trust him and believe that he does care. But I don't know.. I just opened up my heart again, after I thought I couldn't care again.
Should I give him a try..? Or what? x-x (link)
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You have to analyze all of what he has said and see if it outweighs the actions he has done for you. On top of that, you need to know how he is when reacting with everyone else. Such as "has he ever pulled a love-prank on a girl because he could" or "How is his relationship life?"
I know how you feel because I'm an anti-love person but for the past 3 months, I've felt differently. I like a guy right now but I know I shouldn't because he is being shipped out to boot camp for military training for the Marines in about 2-3 months. I know it would be nothin but painful but sometimes you really have to try so you can say you believed.
I hope this helps and you find what you're looking for.
-KD/f/16
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Ok so I've been dating this guy for a little over a year now.Recently something happened that i thought never would..his friend started flirting with me.Well to save some typing here me and him ended up liking each other. he told me he would go out with me if i broke off things with my current boyfriend.so i did. wasnt a good idea because the whole plan crashed and burned. my boyfriend that i broke up with found out that i had been planning this thing and his friend screwed me over and showed him all the text messages i sent him about how much i liked him. so long story short me and my boyfriend that i broke up with are going back out and i havent talked to his friend in awhile but just last night we started talking and he was drunk and he was telling me how he was going to go have sex with this girl and all this and it made me mad..i dont know why but it did. i still like him and he still likes me and i know i have a boyfriend but i just dont know what to do about how much this bothers me..anything i can do? (link)
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You need to think about this. Who has done more damage to you? you're boyfriend that wanted to stay that your boyfriend in the first place or his best friend that wanted you guys to break up in the first place?
If a guy really MATURELY cares about you, he won't do anything to ruin the happiness that you already have with someone else.
And why should you want someone that would brag about having sex with some girl of whom he hasn't even had sex with yet? and yet is drinking while he does it. He shouldn't have sex but I'm not here to preach (because I'm guessing you're younger than 19). If you guys ever had something, he could spill it all out when he is drinking.
The guy gave you up, your current boyfriend of whom was the guy you crushed in the first place is going back out with you because he still loves you and hopes it will have a happy ending. Are you willing to try to write the story?
I hope this puts it in an outsider perspective. Sorry if it sounds harsh but you need to read the other person's feelings too.
-KD/f/16
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I wasn't really invited, but my boyfriends mom was all nice to me and stuff she invited me in to my bfs suprise party. I was there for about 2 hours or something and then all the sudden two boys that were my friends came in and she pretty much kicked me out, well she said i have to leave and so do the other girls. well two other girls stayed. well its not my boyfriends fault. but im mad at him for some reason. wat do i do? (link)
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I would first ask him how it went after you left the party without holding anything against him because he himself probably didn't know what was going on.
Ask him who the 2 girls were. I know how it feels though when a mother is over controling. My first and last boyfriend I had he broke up with me because my mom would never let me get in his car and go somewhere with him but I understand why because I am young but I hated it.
But in a way is he wasn't able to respect my mother's wishes, it showed he wasn't really respecting me either. Just be careful on how you address the situation.
Hope it works out.
-KD/f/16
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im female 18 and my boyfriend is 20 everything about him is great except for one thing i dont think my boyfriend has good hygiene (unbrushed teeth,body odor)i dont know how to tell him while being nice. (link)
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You should be honest but if you want to work up to the point of being able to truly trust what you say when and if you have to here is what I would do.
IF you spend a lot of time together at his house and he has clothes everywhere or what not ask him why never cleans them or put them somewhere. Or if you're over when he decides to go to bed, ask him "Aren't you going to brush your teeth first?"
Little hints help but I'm sorry I couldn't be more use to you. I think if you lived together it would be much easier for me to answer. But remember, little things could sometimes make the biggest changes.
-KD/f/16
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yah,that is ttrue what you say hunny.=],people tell me my boyfriend those loves me becuase i always brake up with him and he always comes back to meh,i hit him and i slap him ,do ma stuff to him but he is still here with meh.
=]
im actually proud. (link)
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Just respect yourself enough to stop taking him back AFTER you break up with him.
1. It is unhealthy
2. He knows you WILL take him back so it doesn't really matter what he does (in his mind).
3. You might be missing out on someone else who wouldn't keep breaking up and getting back together.
-KD/f/16
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deaaam that sukxsz..
why he did that..? (link)
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I honestly don't know. But yeah it was upsetting at first but then I realized I don't need a guy in my life that doesn't really need me in his...
No matter how low your self esteem maybe, you should never "settle" per say, with anyone. If you have to settle and push flaws out of the way (I did that with my ex) then you really don't have anything to build together. Not if you have to physically sit down and think about how the negatives need to cancel out wiht the bad. You'll find yourself with the formula -3=1. It isn't worth it.
I'm glad it actually happened because I can just sit back and not feel worried that my life is taking a wrong turn.
-KD/f/15
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oohhh thats a realyy goodddd advice,but noo i cant help it everythime i think abouut it my tearsz go down.today i told him its over in a leettr an td him the reasonn..im really sadd.. (link)
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I promise it will get better. Now you will probably think more about his flaws than anything else and that will help you as time progresses.
I'm really sorry that I didn't get to you in time. I promise it will get better. It was a month ago for me that my ex dumped me but a month later I feel better.
You have to let time heal wounds because in the end, that is the only thing that really ever does...
-KD/f/15
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hi,well let me say my story sorry if its too long.
ok i have a boyfriend and we been together for a yr already.now he is a freshman in high school and im a sophomore,in the morning when he sees me he dont even go up to me, not to even say hi or anything,and then in lunch he dont even go to my table to sit with me,he just stays wit his friends,im seriously confused.sometimes i think he is just embarresed to be with meh im soo sad,and when we walk together in the hallaways he dont even hug meh or kisses me.today i felt like braking up with him but i dont knoww i love him to much and im scared to loose him because he is my fisrt boyfriend nd the man i really love. (link)
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Thanks for inboxing!
First off, before you skip to conclusions, make sure you have his story. You have to sit down with him at some point in time (preferable when it is ust you guys)and ask him "Why don't you ever sit at my table at lunch or say anything to me in the hallways?"
Sadly guys can be ignorant to the point where if something is bothering them, they just try to avoid it all together. You have to find out why. And if his reason is something like "I don't know" then you really have a problem. If he can't be honest and curtious to you then I would mention that "this isn't going to work."
But since you have been together for a year, I advise trying to work out all complications. Maybe spending more time together could make him feel comfortable.
And maybe it is the fact that you are a sophmore and HE is the freshman that bothers him. Just ask him about it. Honesty is the key to havng a good and healthy relationship.
And I know how you feel, I lost my first boyfriend a month ago tomorrow actually. It is heart breaking knowing that you've saved the first kiss and everything for that guy but nothing lasts forever and we are still young.
Let me know if you have anymore questions!!!
-KD/f/15
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HI, I'm 14 yrs old and the boy next door is cute, caring and spanish. He and I are friends and we are able to talk to each other without discomfit. He is also the same age.
I really like him and he act kinda that way too i think. Should I tell? Cause his family is moving back to Venzuela in Sout Amereica in a month? (link)
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Honestly, there is no point because it would just make it harder for the both of you when you see each other for the simple fact he is moving in a month. If anything, you should kiss him on the cheek when he leaves [[ when he moves]] so that way nothing is broken and you got sort of what you've wanted.
-KD/f/15
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I am a 15 year old guy and I have been friends with a girl for about two years now. I have always liked her and she has always liked me. We recently started getting closer to eachother. We have even been kissing and stuff like that. I think that I might love her. But, now that we have started school again, she has been telling me that she likes this other guy. I have known this guy ever since I was in the sixth grade. I know he likes her as well. So naturally I care about his feelings and I would feel bad if this girl and I started dating. Should I just let him have her and try to find someone as good as she is (Which probably won't happen), or should I just ask her out and not care about the other guy? I really like this girl and I just kind of feel like she might like him more than she likes me. What should I do?
(link)
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1. Don't just let your side droop down without an explanation. If you were "kissing and stuff" you should ask her what the point was if she liked someone else and had no feelings in that way for you.
2. Don't be mean to the guy, just play it cool like you've always have at least until you find out what is wrong with your friend.
3. Find out if he knows about your relationship step-up with your friend. If he does, then you know the guy isn't truthful.
Hope this helps,
-KD/f/15
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What Do U Do When Your Friend Trys To Make U Jealous ? (link)
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You ask them simply: "What is it you envy about me so much?"
Then you;ll get your answer. Straight and direct it will shock them probably into a "I don't know" type of thing.
From there on out, the results should tell you what to do.
-KD/f/15
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okay, where to start... my best friend won't talk to me because she goes to this band thing, and when she was there, she kinda snogged this guy, but she has a nearly boyfriend here (band was away) but then when her nearly boyfriend tricked me into telling him that she went woth this other guy. so i told my best friend that i had accidently told her nearly boyfriend she freaked and hasnt spoken to me since... anyway my question is, how do i approach her? (link)
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Well in that case, maybe she just didn't want to admit what she had done was wrong. But honestly, if you are a true and caring person, what you did was right. Tricked or not.
You have to see it from the boyfriend's perspective. Imagine what it would have been like if he didn't know his girlfriend, someone he trusted a lot with, was cheating on him. Imagine if it was you. How would you feel if you didn't know and no one wanted to tell you because they thought you weren't worth the truth. Good or bad.
As far as talking to her goes, Just be nice to her. If you have a class together, just get her a paper or something like that. Give her a pencil when she mentions to someone that she doesn't have one.
If she doesn't respect that, then she really is self absorbed. Only people that would cheat honestly are because there is no reason to cheat because when you're not happy, you break it off with the person anyway. But when you DO cheat, you're not thinking about how the other person feels, at all, none whatsoever.
I hope you understand this
-KD/f/15
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Last year I tried hard to make new friends and I did. I met this guy Jacques who is great because his nerdish ways don't make me seem so weird.
The bad thing is my female best friend and he started dated. And at first everything was great I was so happy for them and I still am especially for him because he is head over hills in love I mean its sad how fast he falls.
I noticed her getting weary everytime either of us mentioned each others names. And after both of our attempts to make sure she knew what we knew and that is we are in no way attracted to each other.
She said it might be easier if he and I stopped talking. But, it turned into her and I not talking any more. Mostly because of my hate o the way she acts. She'll say she hates when he talks to other girls but then he'll turn around and pass her phone number off to any guy that asks. She never talks about how she's feeling about our friendship well not to me anyway and that's just retarded because no one else can tell you how I think, to think all the years we've been friends she would have heard some of the things I said about honesty and communication I've dropped a good amount of friends because they weren't honest with me. Plus the fact that she's always trying to hook me up with other guys, not that its a bad thing, what's bad is she waits til I find a guy I really like and all of a sudden becomes WAY to friendly with them. I mean talking to them more than I do. And to be honest I'm sick of it. Always being played the fool while she talks about me to other people. I'm so sick of trying and on top of it all this is my senior year. I've decided to write her off from me. Because, I won't be happy with fakeness around me and senior year is all about being happy , loving your last year.
I found some new friends, but I stuck in the making close friends department. Any ideas on how to reel them in. (link)
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I know how you feel and people like her are honestly stupid. To the point of where you would love to punch them. People get so jealous and greedy fast. In fact, today in Japanese I was asked a question: "What is the worst attribute of people?" and I responded "greed" and I mean that in more ways than just money.
People let too much air consume their brain and then they turn into that.
Anyways...You should be yourself and what I mean about that is mention something to them about what you like when you talk. Such as when they talke about movies or tv, even music. Put in a comment like "Yeah, they're good but I prefer -name of whatever-"
Just try to carry on a converstation with them with comments of your own but not to the entent where it seems that only yourself is talking lol.
-KD/f/15
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My boyfriend seems to think that when he calls other girls hot it impresses me.
Well it doesnt, and honestly, it's really pissing me off.
Once or twice is some-what acceptable, but i'm talking about almost every day!
It's so awkward for me because i just stand there and look like a total idiot.
I mean, what am i supposed to say ...?
"Cool" ??
yeah right, so the other day i talked to him about it, and he said that's the last time i'll ever hear it from his mouth.
A few days pass and he was really keeping his word.
Then the other day we were talking about lindsay lohan and he was like
"Im not even gunna say it!"
and i was like
"what?"
"that shes hot."
and i was like "YOU JUST DID!"
things like that.
another thing he does is point out EVERY SINGLE pretty girl in the mall he says he knows and say
"I used to like her"
One time i busted him because we go to different schools
and he was like "I used to like her"
and it turns out the girl he pointed to
went to MY school.
so i said "how do you know her?"
and he was like "she goes to my school"
and then she comes over and says
"Hey!" to me.
not even acknowledging him!
and he never spoke about since then.
he does it to impress me and i know it.
or he'll spot a grouup of other pretty girls and tell me he knows him.
I have no idea what to do anymore!
im lost.
what do i do? (link)
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Well it sounds like he's actually trying to make you jealous. That maybe he wants you to look a certain way or act a certain way.
A guy knows,common sense [[if they have any]], that talking about other girls being attractive to another girl's FACE is only going to do the opposite of attract.
But guys are dumb, well most, but if the Lindsay Lohan thing is the only event that has occured recently, I'd let it go. Because he must be trying, but I would ask him " What the hell are you trying to say? Do you want me to be someone else because that is what you're hinting at?
But if he keeps up after that, after he KNOWS your pissed, I WOULD personally leave him or in other cases such as young girls like to do, make him jealous as well. That isn't the most intelligent thing to do but it might be a way to make him see what it feels like to not be the only one looked at in the room.
Just do what he does but with guys "Oh he is hot! wouldn't you agree -name-?"
It would probably work. An eye for an eye and not in a violent way. I think he'd know what you're doing after the 2nd or 3rd time that day you said it.
Hope this helps! [[ This might seem a bit immature but these days, with guys, what ISN'T?]]
let me know if it works out
-KD/f/15
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You answered my question about J and L, and I wanted to say the thing is that J is happy with us and never sees where I find what's wrong with us. I try to tell her, and she wont listen to me. (link)
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Well if she doesn't listen, it shows she doesn't care and doesn't want to see things from your side. Or she is in denial about it all so she thinks she can just avoid it and everything will be okay but that isn't how it works.
What she is doing is making it worse. You have to MAKE her listen, otherwise you'll be goign in circles for a long time and things might just burst instead of end in a suttle way. Say something that would get her attention so you both know what is is really listening and not just going to brush it off of her shoulder.
-KD/f/15
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i went with this boy back in the 6th grade and it was great at first then he broke up with me for 1 of my best friends.This year in the 8th grade i really really want him back but he is going with my friend still but she doesn't like him.i need some tips on how to get him back can somebody PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE HELP ME GET HIM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(I AM 13/F) (link)
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Well you haven't hit high school yet so I would just not speak to both people. The girl knowingly went out with your boyfriend and realized that she didn't really need you anymore. That you basically meant nothing to her.
The guy is just not a nice person. He might have used you to get to her but that is besides the point. He hurt you for your best friend.
Wanting him back would show him how weak you are and with these things you want to be strong about them so you don't let people, especially guys, walk all over you.
Just do yourself a favor and WAIT until at least 9th or 10th grade. People grow up more. And I think you could too. Not in a bad way but so you'll be able to REALIZE more and know what to do when things like this happen.
I hope this helps!
-KD/f/15
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My exboyfriend and I were in a very close relationship. I thought it was perfect. Seriously. Long story short, he eventually told me that he wanted a break. When I changed my status on myspace to "Single" a week later, he told me that he was shocked that I did that.
That happened a month ago. I still love him so much. I miss him. I haven't seen him since he told me he wanted a break. I want to get together and talk to him, and tell him how much of a mistake I think the break was. We were so close. I thought he loved me.
Should I ask him to meet me somewhere? If yes, what do I say? I love him. (link)
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Well if he wants to come back, he will. And if he does, saying "I love you" will make him want to walk away or run because of all the things you made him think about in that amount of time between the break up and the moment you saw him you began to talk.
I would give it time but other than that I would move on. I would consider it a lesson: that you need to think about things more clearly before giving them up without realization for what it is exactly that you're doing. Like changing you're status while you're on a break would probably make anyone cry because you're not giving it a chance and you're just rushing it to the end.
I'm not saying you did anything wrong. You just didn't wait long enough to see how it would all work out.
But I wouldn't dwell on it. You have you're life ahead of you.
-KD/f/15
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I have had way too many boyfriends to count. It's my problem too. Boys like me, and I like boys... but as soon as we start dating its like I pick out all their imperfections without meaning to. I'm now with my 12th or 13th boyfriend. He's really nice, but he never calls me or asks me out places, and when I call him or I invite him places, we never have anything ot talk about. He's kind of boring... I hate breaking it off with guys when they didnt do anything wrong. Is it my fault for wanting a certain type? Should I stay with him and see if things get better?
Thanks
Elise 15/f (link)
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I would talk it out one day when you do spend time together. Because maybe the reason why you don't talk is because you have all of these potential, negative thoughts running a marathon through your mind at any other time.
Once you get through the hard stuff, it becomes natural to everything else. But give it more time, discuss how you feel that he never calls or asks you to go places.
A lot of the time, boys/guys need to have these things pointed out to them. They don't ever really know about girls/women. Other than we seem impossible and hard to please.
But guys our age, WOW...sometimes it is just a wait-a-while-then-try type of game." But honestly if this doesn't work out...I would take a break from guys and think about getting myself established for the future [[school]]. So I have a place to show my man when I'm older ha ha...Well if I EVER find him ha ha!
-KD/f/15
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