"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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I'm still a virgin, i'm pretty young, and i think i might have genital herpes.. I think i could've gotten it from my summer camping trip.. I don't know what to do? Do I NEED to see a doctor? I don't want my parents or anyone to know! D: (link)
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It's okay if you think you have herpes. Herpes is very, very common now:
"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."
http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/
Symptoms of genital herpes:
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands. Many people experience much nerve pain throughout their bodies, specifically legs and back, before and during an outbreak. Urination can be uncomfortable to painful, especially for women.
The only way you can truly know if you have herpes is to visit a doctor while having a visible outbreak so they can test it. They may scrap the area and take your blood. The blood may show antibodies for the specific strain of herpes.
Genital herpes can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies so it's important to take care of your immune system to lessen outbreaks. Babies can contract it from their mothers and it can cause blindness and fatalities so it's important that, if you become pregnant at any point in your lifetime, you let your doctor know immediately that you have herpes. It is also said that HSV-2 helps to spread HIV/AIDs since there are open wounds on the genitals.
If you become sexually active please let your partner(s) know about your disease if it is confirmed you have contracted such illness. You need to let your future sexual partners know ahead of time about the dangers of engaging in sexual relations with you. If you do not let them know and they contract the virus from you, they actually can take you to court and sue you because a doctor has already made you aware of your condition.
You also need to make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching the area around the sore. You CAN spread it to other places on your body. It may spread on it's own, but it'd be a shame to see you back saying you touched your eye after you touched the sore and now have contracted ocular herpes. You should take every precaution you can to not spread it to other areas of your body or to other people.
You can actually control genital herpes (HSV-2 strain) on your mouth and oral herpes (HSV-1 strain) on your genitals! Now, that makes things very, very confusing but it is really common now. So, if someone has oral herpes and gives their partner oral sex, their partner may end up with herpes on their genitals. The same goes with genital herpes being contracted through oral sex onto the lips.
Note that the virus cannot mutate into other strains. This means that if you have oral herpes and you spread it to your genitals (by unwashed hands or something) then you still have oral herpes on your genitals--NOT genital herpes. Genital herpes is strain 2 while oral herpes is strain 1.
The virus for genital herpes lives in a different area of your body than oral herpes does. Genital herpes locates itself in your spinal cord (and is shed from wherever you contracted it) while oral herpes is located in your facial structure (and is shed from wherever you contracted it). Genital herpes is said to cause a lot of nerve pain through the back and legs.
Herpes is highly contagious so you have to wash thoroughly if you're experiencing an outbreak to lessen your chances of spreading it all over your body.
Herpes also can be spread even if there are not visible signs or symptoms! This means that if someone has the virus inside of them they can spread it to you even if you don't see it on their skin. See, your skin cells are constantly shedding and the virus likes to come to the surface randomly--so it can be shed out at any time and you not know it.
The only real way to find out if you have herpes if to make a doctor's appointment specifically to be STD checked (request for herpes in case they don't usually test for it). They may scrap a sore if you currently have one and do blood testing to find out if you have any strain of the virus.
There is no cure for herpes so one you contract it, you will have it for life. If you fear that you have put yourself at risk for herpes I hope that you will make a doctor's appointment soon to confirm. There are medications that can make the outbreaks less severe and more manageable.
Here is some more information relating to herpes (read my answers, of course):
"How do you know if you have herpes? What is herpes anyway?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541457
"How did I get herpes? We used a condom and everything! Oh, and what helps calm the virus down so I don't have so many outbreaks?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=537694
"Can you get an STD from giving a hand job?"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=495933
"My boyfriend got sperm in my eyes. Are there risks? (Ocular herpes information)"
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541866
Please see your doctor.
It may not be herpes.
You need to find out.
I hope all is well and once you are tested you find that you are healthy. If you have more questions about herpes please feel free to ask me and I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. :)
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Thnx for the other info.The problem is,is that I don't have a gyno.I recently(about 3 weeks ago) went to my doctor and she gave my mom a gyno's name.My mom is slow with making appointments..esp.mine for whatever reason.She still hasn't called the gyno to make an appointment.My doctor even told her to put me on birth contol to make my periods easier..(she still hasn't done it..).So my plan was to go to planned parenthood with my friend after school (she wants to get tested,checked out as well) and get birth control,protection,& tested.But I was wondering if I should get a pregnancy test done just in case?Ill definately take another one at the end of the month but I jus thought since im going to be there already,why not?I just think its time to take matters into my own hands. (link)
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If you're heading over to planned parenthood then you should definately go on and have a pregnancy test done to see what it turns out. It's good to take another one if your period misses, as I've already explained that a woman does not instantly become pregnant.
If you are pregnant, you will have to have a gynecologist. I wouldn't worry too much about that now until you find out if you do have a baby on the way or not.
If I were you I would wait until my next period to start the birth control pills. Although many people claim they do not harm unborn babies, I am highly suspicious that it does cause them hormonal defects. Try not to engage in sex this month and start the pill next month if you aren't pregnant. Note that the pill is only 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with TYPICAL usage--the 99% bullsh!t is for perfect usage, and we simply are not perfect beings.
So, yes, go on and have the pregnancy test done at planned parenthood. Pick up your birth control pills if you'd like but try to wait to find out if you are indeed pregnant before decided to take them.
I just want to note that I'm fairly glad that you aren't jumping to aborting the possible fetus already like some women are. I'm not sure if it's a consideration for you or not--but I do hope you don't choose to abort. You'll get through this one way or another if you're pregnant without having to kill a part of you, you know what I mean?
You're making adult decisions by having sex.
Start making an adult life for yourself.
It sounds silly because you're only 16--but if you're going to make adult decisions then you need to act like an adult. Sounds like you're starting to get your head on your shoulders by taking the initiative to get a pregnancy test done and birth control pills if you aren't pregnant already.
Feel free to ask me if you have any more questions. :)
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Hey, I know it's way to late for regular brain-activity.. but I just moved to the states from Europe, and my first college essay is due tomorrow and I can't fall asleep because I'm so afraid of turning it in. I was wondering if you could just proof-read it really quickly? It's super-short!! You'd be saving my life. I've worked really hard to be here, and I just don't want to feel like I've made a mistake when I get back my paper.. you know?? (link)
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Sure, I wouldn't mind helping you out at all!
If you wouldn't mind, though, could you please contact me through email on this one? That way we aren't wasting "question space" on the site and we don't get banned for not asking a "real" question or what-not.
My email address you can mail to is:
[Deleted for privacy; inbox me if this is desired.]
I'm up pretty late, usually all night long actually, so it isn't a problem to proof-read your paper.
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In gym we do sit-ups(esp.sit-up tests like how many can you do in a minute),crunches,lunges,running.If I turn out to be prego,im not sure its so safe for me to be taking part in that.Also im not sure if this makes my chances of getting prego higher,but since I was having sex with two guys..1 guy dominated it for the most part,about 5 hrs in total,the other guy about an hour in total(which is the 1 that came in me)...wouldn't it seem logical that the guy who was having sex with me the longest would produce more pre-cum therefore be a more exceptional candidate to get me prego,rather than the other guy? (link)
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You will need to speak to your OB/GYN about that then. I wouldn't worry about it too much really as long as it isn't too strenuous for you. Running is actually not bad at all--and you can always substitue the running for walking if you feel unsure of it.
I know of many girls who were quite overweight and were pregnant. Looking at them you couldn't tell that they were pregnant. They didn't want to tell their parents so they continued on with normal routines. They still went to gym class and did what was instructed. They ended up having healthier babies in an easier delivery. I'm not saying you're overweight and won't be able to tell you're pregnant, of course--the point is, gym class is harder for overweight teenagers and they were still able to participate without endangering their child.
Again, you cannot count the amount of sperm that left their bodies and went into yours. One guy could have a very low sperm count. One could have a hidden STD that prevents them from having healthy sperm so that they cannot swim strong enough to reach the egg. One could have ejaculated further into you, causing the "trip" to the egg to be shorter (this coupled with a high sperm count and healthy sperm would count for a lot). There isn't any way of knowing really. You would just have to wait until the baby was born to run a short DNA test to find which guy is truly the father.
So, good questions here, but there isn't any way of telling which of the guys would father the said child.
Again, if you feel something is just not right in your gym class, and you ARE pregnant, then speak with you OB/GYN for professional advice. Personally, I'd keep going to gym so that my delivery was short and sweet and that my baby wouldn't be colicky and would sleep better, but that's just me.
Only a paternity test is going to prove which man fathered the said child. There won't be any way around this, even if the baby comes out looking exactly like one of them. My sister had a baby and she swore it was her husbands--turned out it was a one-night stand she had as soon as her husband went overseas. You never know without that DNA test.
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hi,
I can't believe I am in this predicament but here it is.
When I was 16 I had an affair with a teacher of mine it went on for two years and he was my first love. Fast forward ten years, I have graduated from medical school and am doing my residency in NYC,(I am from New Jersey) I met the most incredible guy and after 8 months we moved in together. we have been living together for almost a year and and have spoken of marriage in the sense of when not if we should get engaged. Anyway over fourth of july weekend we went out to his mother's house in the hamptons and I saw my old teacher "Doug" I was shocked to see him there and he told me he was Garret's father. I couldn't believe it 'Doug and Garret have different last names b/c Garret's parents never married and she has since married the chief of medicine at the hospital where garret and I both work. Anyway to make a long story short I have no idea what to do, no one knows about my affair except for Doug and myself but I don't know what to do, doug called me and asked if I would meet his to talk but what is he want to tell garret, garret is literally my dream guy I can't believe this is happening to me. What should I do any advice would be greatly appreciated, I obviously can't tell anyone I know and I'm pretty lost.
Thanks again
G (link)
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You need to ask yourself something very important:
"Do I want this to come out now or five years from now when we are married and have a baby or two?"
Things like this do come out. It may be years until it does, but I'm sure that your boyfriend will take it worse then and might even feel that those were years lost or taken from him because you hid a very important secret from him. Let him decide now if he can deal with this or not before you get too deep into life with him and he feels jipped from something that will seem like lies.
So, sit down with your boyfriend and have a serious, lengthy discussion about what happened. I'm sure things will be awkward, but I'm sure he'll appreciate you telling him now rather than waiting 5 years to get the news from somebody else, somehow.
By telling him now, you're coming forward with information immediately and that will probably be appreciated, whether he tells you that or not. Even if things are rocky for a few days or weeks that doesn't mean thing cannot be worked out. Just sit down and spill your guts to him and explain that you had no idea that the man ended up being his father. Let him know that the situation of meeting the father was uncomfortable and that you needed to tell him (your boyfriend) so that he knew what had happened.
From there it's up to you two to decide what to do. You two may discuss the possibility of telling his mother. He may not be as shocked by it if he has known about other affairs his father has had. Things may end up going rather sour for a while before he cools down. In any way it is, you need to tell him NOW. The longer the wait, the more it seems that you were going to hide it for as long as you felt you could.
I wish you luck and hope that all turns out well. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Are friends with benefits really that bad?
This kid Dillon wants to have sex with me but doesnt like me as a girlfriend...If I have sex with him is it such a bad thing? (link)
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Friends with benefits basically just means two people meet up to engage in sexual activity and that is all. They rarely go on anything considered as a "date" and typically do not speak to each other more than to set-up a meeting for sex.
The problem with friends with benefits is that people tend to become emotionally attached at some point, usually females. When this happens it seems that the person simply cannot grasp that a real relationship is not forming and is not there. They tend to become very depressed and may even obsess over their sexual partner, hoping for some glimmer of a relationship--which, by the way, can never be strong if it were to form because the entire basis for (at least) one person would be sex.
This type of relationship tends to mess with a person's ability to affectively communicate with people that they are not engaging in sexual relations with.
I believe that communication and overall interaction is cut down so much as to avoid emotional baggage from forming (which usually forms anyway but these sort of people try to avoid it, naturally). The more you interact with someone on a personal basis (ie: getting to know who they are), the more likely it is that you will develop some sort of attachment to them. Attachment is a hard thing while in a friends with benefits situation because the other person typically does not share those same feelings for you.
It simply comes down to cutting personal contact out to be able to have a guilt-free sexual relationship. The more you know about a person, the higher chances there are that you will become emotionally or mentally attached to them. This is why many people say that these kinds of "relationships" are extremely unhealthy--you do not learn how to effectively communicate and interact with a partner at all.
Many people in a friend with benefits lifestyle may contract an STD from their sexual partner or may become pregnant (or may impregnate their partner). This becomes complicated and can lead many, many problems. One partner may become attached (if pregnant) or enraged (if pregnant or if a virus is found to have spread). Typically people in a friends with benefits situation are not keen on regular STD screenings so they infect many partners before they realize something is serious and needs to be handled. This leaves the partners angry and they may stalk or physically harm the transmitter.
Could you imagine being pregnant without a partner?
Could you imagine being pregnant without a partner and having to deal with an STD too?
Could you deal with giving birth to a mentally ill child who drains of financially, emotionally, and physically every day because you wanted to have sex with a partner who you weren't ready to have babies with?
There are many issues with this type of situation so people should consider it carefully if they want to lead such a lifestyle. Personally I don't think either could ever truly work out well simply because we are human. We are mentally not capable of dealing with some of the severe situations that come of these sorts of things.
Now, I've had a couple of friends who have been in a friends with benefits situation. I don't mean to speak badly of them but they are in a horrible mess in their lives.
First, there is one that has had so many sex partners that she can't remember all of their names--that doesn't count the ones she didn't know the names of, mind you. She lost her virginity because a guy wanted to do the friends with benefits thing. She cannot keep a steady relationship to save her life because she is constantly thinking sex will solve all of their relationship problems. She has been used time and time again. She has HVP--genital warts kind, and I wholehearted believe that she cannot become pregnant (she doesn't use protection so you'd think she'd be pregnant by now). She is constantly depressed, drinks insane amounts, and has harmed herself in the past to the point of trying to commit suicide. Why? Because nobody "loves" her. Why don't they love her? Because she thinks sex is love--and it's not.
As a note, the friend above always feels like the guy loves her after she has sex with him. He ends up getting stalked by her for weeks. It's really, really sad that she's that desperate and doesn't realize that to snag a GOOD man then DON'T HAVE SEX WITH THEM!
Then there is another friend. She was pressured into having sex when she was around 16 by her peers. They were all talking about sex so she thought she might as well start doing it too. She has been used and tossed out so many times. She has done some horrific things that I'm sure she's ashamed of. The first guy dumped her and then she did friends with benefits with a few guys here and there. A group of guys use to say, "When Tiffany is around you know SOMEONE is getting laid!" It was disgusting how low she put herself. She made herself a sex object. She's in the same predicament the first girl is--going from guy to guy, looking for love, having sex with as many people as she can.
In the end at least one party is always hurt by the situation, regardless of how things were initially set-up to be.
You are worth more than sex anyway.
I hope I've answered your question quite clearly. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Thnx a lot for answering my other questions.Id also like to know if its also a chance that it could be either guys kid (if I am prego)?Also since I do not know if I am prego now..should I get a note from my doctor so I can stay out of gym?I mean just in case I want to keep the baby that's in question. (link)
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Regarding if it's one guy's child or the others:
It honestly is a 50/50 chance. Some men have a higher sperm count so the one who didn't actually cum inside of you (just pre-cum) could end up having stronger, faster sperm. It sounds more likely that it would be the one that did cum in you, but for all we know he has a low sperm count (only a doctor can tell) and his sperm are slow. You can easily get a paternity test done after the baby is born--I believe you can even get these free in some areas.
Exercise is really good to do when you're pregnant actually. The only things you need to not do is lift heavy things or get hit in the lower tummy. People who exercise during pregnancy give birth easier and quicker than women who do not exercise during pregnancy. The baby is usually healthier, the mother recovers faster, and everyone is a lot happier. So, if it turns out that you are pregnant you should stay in gym class as long as it's safe (no basketballs being throw at your tummy, no heavy lifting, etc.).
If you are pregnant, remember to take a prenatal vitamin. You can take these vitamins even if you aren't pregnant--it helps hair growth too :) You surely want a healthy, happy baby if you do give birth--even if you choose to put him/her up for adoption in the end.
If you are pregnant, I do suggest you keep the baby or give it up for adoption. Abortion is really, really hard on the woman--harder than giving birth at a young age. Your body may never be able to recover from abortion but your body can recover from teenage pregnancy if you take care of yourself during and after it.
If you're going to see a doctor in a couple of weeks, you should go on and have a pregnancy test done there if possible. Pregnancy tests done by doctors are more accurate than home pregnancy tests.
You did not make a wise choice in your sexual actions but I do hope that if you are pregnant you take responsibility for those actions. Please feel free to ask me any questions you have and I will be happy to answer them :)
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I don't usually - er, actually, I don't ever do this, but I wanted to express to you how impressed I am with the quality of advice that you give on this site. I asked a question I already knew the answers to awhile ago, and you told me exactly what I needed to hear. In the future, if you don't mind, I'm going to come to you for advice. This is Siren_Cytherea, by the way; I have no shame in asking questions. Are you going into psychology? Because you might consider it.
Since I'm here, actually, I may as well follow up with the question I asked before. (This is the long part) I'm still 20/f, it was the 23 year old guy who had lived with me, hung onto my key, and wasn't treating me very well.
I kicked him out of my life, wrote him a goodbye letter, and wound up reading it to him. An hour later, he called me to tell me it wasn't going to be easy for him either, what a big part of his life I was, and how he didn't know what he'd do without me, to which I responded "um, thanks? I have to go, I have plans." Yes, I know, it was cold, but I had to be at that point. He's always had a very strong emotional effect on me - he threw me into a bout of depression in the past. It ended when I flipped my car >.< .
We talked on line after that, only because he found another screen name to talk to me on, and told me he had cried for over an hour and didn't know what to do," so I let him kind of work it out in his head, but I was still worried about him, as he has a history of depression and suicidal tendencies. Even so, I didn't call him. I made no effort to contact him once we agreed that the hiatus was more of a "see you later" than a "goodbye". I was kind of a wreck the first few days. Everything made me cry, and I had no energy, and the only things I could do were play guitar, go to work, and take care of my kitten.
He called me again on Monday, I almost didn't pick up the phone, but I remembered I had told him once I would always be there for him, and always reachable to him. (Big thing, since I'm his only dependable friend) So I picked up, we chatted idly for awhile, and then he said he'd been thinking about our relationship, realized what had been going on with himself he was immeasurably sorry, and asked me if we could please try again. He also promised me this fiasco wouldn't happen again, and about six other things that I asked for, including an hour to think about it, which he was reluctant about. When he said, "You can't just tell me yes or no now?" I said "If that's the case, the answer will be no. Now give me an hour." And he did.
I eventually agreed to try again, and we hung out the next day. It was...different. I was colder, as I expected, but when we went back to my apartment (I had some pills I had to give him), we wound up talking about our failure, and he actually admitted to the fact that he runs scared when we get too close. He also admitted that he's a commitmentphobe, but I have assured him that a relationship is NOT what I'm looking for. I have four jobs and a full class load - no time.
If I were reading this question, I would say it seems that the guy needs more time away from me for personal reflection, but if I were to give him time, he'd see me pushing him away and shut down.
He lives by that whole "If she doesn't want me, then I don't want her." thing.
I warned him if we were to try to be friends again, we wouldn't be as close as we were. We couldn't be, because I don't want to put myself through this again. He wasn't too happy about that, but that's okay.
I guess I'm just looking for a general where do I go from here? I love this man, I really do, but I don't want to be with him. I'm too afraid of it after everything that happened, and I just don't have time.
Help me please, in any way you can think of.
Thanks,
-Siren=) (link)
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I do thank you very much for the kind words. I also want to note that I am not going into the psychology field; however, I was headed that direction at one point in my life. I did take some psychology courses and have received a degree in such but I definately am not in that field of work.
I think it's wonderful if you choose to come to me for advice, but please be aware it may take me a few days to respond. I am fairly busy and I get side-track easily--answering a lot of questions about STDs and pregnancy here before I remember I had an inbox question; however, I WILL get to your question in a couple of days if you are patient. I wouldn't be upset if you chose to ask it to the pool or another user either because of that.
As for your question/dilemma:
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but when you love someone in a way that is greater than the love of one family member to another, then you tend to want to pursue some sort of long-lasting relationship with the person. You clearly state: "I love this man, I really do, but I don't want to be with him."
I think the problem there is that you are TELLING yourself you don't want to be with him in fear that he truly does not want to be with you. "I'm too afraid of it after everything that happened, and I just don't have time." Love does not take much time, really. Dates can be short, and, the way I see it, if you can have sex with someone then you can surely catch a movie with them every now and again or engage in a light conversation of your hopes, dreams, and desires one evening. The truth simply is that you are afraid of what has happened in the past ;)
I understand where you're coming from though. This man claimed he loved you and then suddenly went away. He trailed you along here and there and still seems to be doing this, even after you tried to put your foot down about it. You care about him deeply, the feelings haven't died down. He tells you he's interested but then says he's afraid of commitment--telling you that he likes you but doesn't see himself being with you long-term when that is what you want deep down inside. Am I right? If I'm not, please correct me, but I would place a nice bet that I've touched a lot of areas you hadn't come to yet.
You both need to sit down and open up, just as you are to me. Read this to him if you have to. Let him know that you are tired of doing this back-and-forth emotional roller-coaster. You both need to make up your minds--relationship or not? That is the real question.
He's pressing for more ("I warned him if we were to try to be friends again, we wouldn't be as close as we were. We couldn't be, because I don't want to put myself through this again. He wasn't too happy about that, but that's okay."), and I honestly believe deep inside you wish more could come of it. I'm not sure if he's looking for sex though, as some guys only want to get their jollies for a little while from who they know will let them (he may not be completely aware of this fact).
To me, the time of the relationship has come and gone. Some people can make a decently sturdy relationship after a hard break-up, but it's very difficult to do--especially when both parties are making excuses as to why it couldn't work out.
A relationship works like this:
Two people want to be together. They do what they can to make this possible. They got through tough time, but stick it out in the end.
Your relationship works like this:
Two people want to be together but keep making excuses as to why it won't work out. They do what they can to be together without labeling themselves as coupled together. Both are in denial of what they truly want so nothing will ever work out.
I understand your love for him prevents you from locking him completely out of your life, but it seems like this is a lot of drama for one past relationship. You have to draw the line somewhere. You either need to completely kill off the feelings you have for him or sit down with him and work this out COMPLETELY until you are both mentally satisfied with the outcome.
It's okay to love the guy and want a relationship but be afraid it won't work out. That's completely fine. You just need to decide what you're going to do about it--pursue him? Just be friends and hold these feelings inside even longer, pretending that everything is fine?
I can't really tell you what you should do. If I were to be in this situation then I would have cut him out of my life by now. Your feelings sound very twisted up--you LOVE the man, you do. I can only see heartache coming from this situation, but I'm not actually THERE and I am not you.
If you can somehow see this relationship blooming into something happy then you should pursue it because it seems like that is what you really want, despite your excuses. If he is what makes you happy then be happy. If you aren't happy then why are you bothering? What do you see coming of this? What is fulfilling about this situation?
Siren, what do you want from your ex-boyfriend?
A relationship is a 50/50 deal. You're going to be there for him emotionally--what is his part in your life regarding this now? What are you seeing that I'm not?
"If I were reading this question, I would say it seems that the guy needs more time away from me for personal reflection..."
I am reading this question. I say you need to take time for your own personal reflection before going further even in communicating with this man.
Please feel free to keep me posted on what's going on. I would be happy to answer what questions you have, and if I can't answer them I will give you some things to think about. I would like to know what happens with you and this man so please let me know what you come to.
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Ok, so me and my boyfriend had sex, and there was a hole in the condom. He said nothing came out so could I still be pregnant? (link)
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Yes. Sperm are very, very tiny and can seep through tiny tears in condoms. Condoms are actually only about 88% effective with typical usage as it is.
Even if your boyfriend did not cum in the condom, he probably DID pre-cum in it. Pre-ejaculatory fluid contains some sperm. As a reminder, it only takes ONE sperm to fertilize ONE egg.
After you have sex you actually do not instantly become pregnant--it can take days before the sperm find and fertilize the egg and then another 6 - 10 days for the egg to actually attach to your uterine wall. Sperm can live in your body for a long time--they've even been some found alive in a woman 2 weeks after being ejaculated inside of her!
This being said, it could take weeks to actually become pregnant after one sexual encounter. The sperm can survive in you a long while, meaning ovulation or not, it's likely they will encounter the peak fertility zone. The think you need to keep in mind is that you are ALWAYS fertile.
If your next period misses then good chances are that you are pregnant. You can take a home pregnancy test then (after the missed period) or go to a clinic for a pregnancy test (more accurate).
Purchase a few home pregnancy tests and test yourself occassionally if your period does not come next month. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage.
Please reconsider your actions. You list your age as being 13--can you really deal with the consequences of sex? I mean, think about this:
Babies don't care if you're a teenager. Babies don't care if you still want to go on dates and have a good time. Babies don't care if you have to stay home, drop out of school, and work 3 part-time jobs to make enough money to buy them diapers. Babies will come when you make these sorts of decisions with your life. If babies don't come then you might end up finding out you became infertile because of a STD that kept itself covered for years.
Condoms don't protect you against STDs and infections and neither does the birth control pill. Even virgins can have STDs, believe it or not. You wouldn't believe the percentage of BABIES who have herpes because their parents passed it to them. Those babies will grow up believing that the sores they have are normal and won't tell their partners because of this, most likely.
How could you forgive a partner for transmitting an STD to you? How could you get over getting pregnant and giving birth to a mentally ill child? What happens if the relationship gets rocky and a pregnancy occurs--what happens then? There are too many factors that will add a load of pressure on you relationship, and could break it down in a matter of days.
I know it's your body, your choice, but I am so concerned for you. I don't want you to end up like some of the people I've seen--used, abused, left, having sex with various partners, can't have babies because of an STD made them infertile, etc. Sex is really not something you need to be worrying about.
I hope your life turns around and you realize that sex is not the answer to your youth. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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let's say your boyfriend or someone you really like asks you to give them head. well, not asks you, but says it like "give me head." or "get down." or "how bout a blow job?"
how can you say no? or reject them? and they don't have to be nice rejections. (link)
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"No. I'm leaving. Bye." Followed by actually LEAVING the situation, no turning back.
Any guy who does this to you is selfish and has no care for you at all. I would even go as far as to say that the guy was simply dirty (as in: disgusting).
Be stern, no smiles, no giggles. Get out of the situation as soon as those words leave your mouth. Do not look back. Do not listen to whatever else the guy has to say.
Then you need to stop communicating with the guy. He's a creep. He does not deserve to be in your life. Period. Do not go back out with him. Do not go "hang" with him. Do not talk to him. Do not answer any phone call he actually makes toward you--he wants to use you, plain and simple.
Anybody who disrespects you like that always will, no matter what they say. If you're not wanting to do some sort of RISKY sexual activity then don't, plain and simple. You're better than that anyway, I'm sure.
Before you get alone with a guy, try to find out if he's like this. If he is, end the date and go home. You don't need to end up with an STD from a loser because he pressured you.
If I were in this situation, I would also tell my friends as a warning. I wouldn't want my friends falling into the trap and getting caught under that sort of pressure. Girls do stupid things some times--they think, "Oh, this guy really likes me! I don't want to do this but...he likes me!" You need to keep your head on your shoulders though--if a guy doesn't care about if YOU want to do something on your own then he isn't going to care about you in any way ever.
So, simply say no firmly and leave.
It doesn't matter if he gets upset.
He should get upset for treating you like trash.
You aren't a sex toy for him to play with.
You are a human with real emotions and needs, and you should be cared about--not used.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me :)
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Long story short: Had a 3 some a day ago..1 out of the 2 guy friends came in me while I was jus starting my period.At the time I was only spotting,but not enough to drip onto the sheets.Later that day it became a flow.So now im questioning if I might be pregnant,considering the fact that there wasn't any protection used.Should I be worried?Should I take a test when my period is over? (link)
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You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually. Yes, there is chance you could have been impregnated if you had sex while on your period, even at the start or end of it.
There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.
Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is always another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days (5 - 7 in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions).
So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur. You should always be using some sort of "protection" to lessen (they don't prevent) pregnancy and STD/STI risks.
Your best bet is to wait until your NEXT period to take the pregnancy test. Believe it or not, women do not become pregnant instantly
After you have sex you actually do not instantly become pregnant--it can take days before the sperm find and fertilize the egg and then another 6 - 10 days for the egg to actually attach to your uterine wall. Sperm can live in your body for a long time--they've even been some found alive in a woman 2 weeks after being ejaculated inside of her!
This being said, it could take weeks to actually become pregnant after one sexual encounter. The sperm can survive in you a long while, meaning ovulation or not, it's likely they will encounter the peak fertility zone. The think you need to keep in mind is that you are ALWAYS fertile.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize ONE egg. Your partners likely both precummed in you, whether you or they realized it or not. Your partners cannot control that and men usually do not feel when it happens. Pre-cum does contains sperm and WILL get your pregnant. Your partners can release pre-cum in your body the second they enter your vagina with their penises--they doesn't know, neither do you.
Purchase a few home pregnancy tests and test yourself occassionally if your period does not come next month. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage.
Pick up some condoms. They are 88% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage; although, they do NOT protect against STDs and STIs.
Pick up hormonal birth control pills. They are 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage; however, they do NOT protected against STDs and STIs.
Also, I say wait until next month so you give your body a chance to produce the hCG hormone that it does when a woman is pregnant. Home pregnancy tests aren't very accurate in finding that hormone so the more time you give your body to produce enough of it, the more accurate the test is going to turn out.
Don't put yourself in this situation again. Ever. Learn your lesson now before it's too late and you end up with a newborn baby, dropping out of high school, and struggling to make enough money for a pack of diapers. Babies don't care if you're a teenager. Babies don't care if you still want to go on dates and have a good time. Babies don't care if you have to stay home, drop out of school, and work 3 part-time jobs to make enough money to buy them diapers. Babies will come when you make these sorts of decisions with your life. If babies don't come then you might end up finding out you became infertile because of a STD that kept itself covered for years.
A baby can ruin your life at this moment.
An STD can ruin your life.
Please think things through.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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does the brand loreal test on animals? (link)
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Many companies test on animals and, yes, Loreal is one of them.
If you are against animal testing then you should be alert to which company you are buying from. Some different products are from the same company--such as Dove (soaps) and AIM (toothpaste) are from the company Unilever. Unilever does test on animals but also makes many, many products sold in stores like Wal-Mart so you must remember to check labels.
You can usually find out which company is selling the product from the back of the bottle/item, nearing the bottom. In the case of Unilever and Dove, it will say, "Dove is a Unilever product."
Be aware that if the company tests on animals it is how they find out about possible side effects on humans usually. If a shampoo from Pantene (tests on animals, owned by Procter & Gamble) makes a bunny rabbit's eyes puff up and ooze then they can list on the warning label something to the effect of: "Do not get product in eyes. If irritation occurs..."
Rabbits are, of course, not the only animals that companies test on. They also may test on mice, rats, dogs, etc. Even some pet food brands (such as Iams) will test their products on animals before deciding to market it to us for our pets.
Here is that link about Iams and their animal testing:
http://www.iamscruelty.com/
Mars Candy (makers of Snickers, M&M's, Twix, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, Starburst, Dove, Skittles) actually tests products on animals:
http://www.marscandykills.com/
So, if you're trying to avoid purchasing from a listed company that tests on animals, it may be beneficial to print the list given by another use below. You can print it out and take it shopping with you, hidden in your purse, so you can pull it out after checking labels. Cruelty-free companies are usually much smaller, thus sell less, and their prices may be slightly higher.
So, the next time you pick up items from Johnson & Johnson, Neutrogena, Oral-B, Suave, Tom's of Maine, 3M (post-it notes), Fendi, Gillette Co., Bioré, Kleenex, and even Colgate-Palmolive you may want to think about switching brands to something cruelty-free!
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http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:a9pwJnDozkykWM:http://bp2.blogger.com/_bN46DqRCydM/R_ICWEBmiRI/AAAAAAAAAEc/719RrStBtV0/s320/garnier.jpg
is this colors till availabe from gaRNIER? ITS NUMBER IS "ub-3"
I cannot find it anywehere! did they duiscontinue it? its the only thing that worked on my hair to get lighter!!!
where can i contact garnier? whats their number?!?!
im despEEERRATTE! (link)
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You can most definately get the right answer about this hair color from Garnier if you write them an email explaining your problem and giving specifics about your Garnier hair color you're looking for:
http://www.garnierusa.com/_en/_us/services/contacts.aspx
You can also certainly give them a call about your product or write them a letter:
Phone Number:
1-800-4GARNIER
1-800-442-7643
Mailing Address:
GARNIER
Garnier LLC
New York, NY 10017
They may have slightly altered the hair color and have re-named it for that reason. If they let you know that hair color has not been discontinued then request a listing of places in your local area that it is currently sold at.
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up to how many heat degrees fahrenheit can a CHI flat iron go up to?
i heard 410 degrees but also 450? or maybe higher? i dont know whats the reeeeeeeeeeallll highest amount of heat! (link)
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Well, from what I'm looking at, it doesn't quite go up that high.
The CHI Ceramic Flat Iron (original model) goes up to 370ºF according to:
http://www.folica.com/CHI_Ceramic_Fla_d1.html
This site:
http://hubpages.com/hub/Chi_Flat_Iron
says: "The Original CHI (1") that operates at a fixed temperature (350 degrees F)."
If that isn't hot enough for you, you may want to look into their suggested flat iron called Solia Tourmaline Ceramic Ion Flat Iron, which has an adjustable temperature control that can be set between 140°F - 450°F. In addition, I have heard wonderful reviews of the Sedu Professional Ceramic Tourmaline Straightening Irons, which claim to have an adjustable temperature control that can be set between 240ºF - 410ºF
If your Chi is actually not the original model then you need to let us know so we can see if it may alter the temperature. I know some models are smaller than others so the temperatures may vary slightly.
My guess is that the original CHI Ceramic Flat Iron heats up to about 350 degrees. You may want to look and see if it lists it on the box you purchased the Chi at, if you have it already.
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Okay...
I really want to have sex but iam really afraid tha my paretns are going to find out or my friends!
and what if i get pregnant!
i mean i will use a condom but you can still get pregnant but all my other friends never got pregnant when they had sex but could and it would ruin my whole life!
i need help PLEASE!
~Sandy~ (link)
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You know what I think? I think you're trying to kill off what youth you have left. Having sex is VERY risky and if you're not prepared then you can end up in very difficult situation.
To begin with, condoms are only 88% effective (typical usage) on preventing pregnancy. That means that out of every 100 sexual encounters between people, 12 women will become pregnant.
The hormonal birth control pill isn't much better either. It's about 92% effective for typical usage--remember, the 99% they tell you if for PERFECT usage--are we perfect beings? Nope! So, that means that out of every 100 sex encounters, 8 babies will be conceived.
Babies don't care if you're a teenager. Babies don't care if you still want to go on dates and have a good time. Babies don't care if you have to stay home, drop out of school, and work 3 part-time jobs to make enough money to buy them diapers. Babies will come when you make these sorts of decisions with your life. If babies don't come then you might end up finding out you became infertile because of a STD that kept itself covered for years.
Pregnancy costs:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Also, a baby takes a lot of time and energy. The baby needs 100% of you all of the time. They need all of the emotional support you can give them and, face it, you're not quite up to that yet. Try thinking about balancing child rearing, a full-time job, paying on hospital bills from delivery, and homework all in one day. You'd get so burned out quickly that you couldn't provide a decent life for the baby.
Having a baby means you're sacrificing all of you for another being. You have to alter or give up your future dreams to ensure that they will have a future. Forget having decent relationships with guys too if you're unmarried. They will know how much responsibility you hold and may even fear of getting you pregnant again; even if you stay with the guy that impregnated you he may become nervous of producing another child and there will be a lot of stress on the relationship--more reason of a break-up. The baby becomes your entire life, your world revolves around him/her.
I know everyone is making a big deal out of sex but you don't have to. You don't have to end up with an STD. Do you know that a good 80% of my class in school had gonorrhea? Now, that is scary!
Condoms don't protect you against STDs and infections and neither does the birth control pill. Even virgins can have STDs, believe it or not. You wouldn't believe the percentage of BABIES who have herpes because their parents passed it to them. Those babies will grow up believing that the sores they have are normal and won't tell their partners because of this, most likely.
STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
I know a lot of girls who are so depressed because they have been used and abused throughout the years. They threw away their virginities when they were young, believing they were in love. When the guy eventually left them they fell completely apart. Some lost their virginity when they were 15, they're now in their 20s and cannot cope in relationships. All of their relationships fail because they can't get over the fact that sex should not be important for a relationship to survive. They will do this over and over throughout their entire life, popping out babies (or aborting them) by different guys and being unhappy.
The first time is not going to feel good for the woman. It hardly ever does. The problem is this:
If your relationship NEEDS sex to prove love then sex is going to break the relationship. Sex is not what people claim it is and that's why many people sleep around. Those people sleeping around are looking for that oh-so-wonderful sex they were told about and figure it must come along somewhere.
I know people who have broken up with boyfriends/girlfriends because the sex wasn't good. Seriously. I am not kidding. I have heard of many people saying how in love they are, but after having sex they become obsessed with sex and end up breaking up because the love fades off and all that is there is desire.
Sex can break a couple sometimes and I'm sure you don't want that. I've seen couples break up because they just weren't compatible in the bed (someone was too shy, someone had a kink, someone didn't like something the other loved, etc). Those couples made too big of a deal out of it. They wanted sparks to fly and for it to be special and perfect and when it wasn't what they expected they were highly disappointed.
Seriously, please reconsider.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of care--to save yourself for that very special day, for that special person, through all of those years. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
How could you forgive a partner for transmitting an STD to you? How could you get over getting pregnant and giving birth to a mentally ill child? What happens if the relationship gets rocky and a pregnancy occurs--what happens then? There are too many factors that will add a load of pressure on you relationship, and could break it down in a matter of days.
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you're dead set on losing your virginity, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
A baby can ruin your life at this moment.
An STD can ruin your life.
The guilt can ruin your life.
My suggestion for the time being is simply this:
Make memories of your youth.
When you're older you'll have something to say. Your grandchildren will all sit around, wanting you to tell them about the time you and grandpa went out and did this and that. They'll come to you advice on how to make their own relationships work and you'll be able to say, "It isn't about having sex. It isn't about saying you're going to marry them. It's about life, love, and making lasting memories together."
Wouldn't you two like to look back years down the road and have giggles about the silly things you remember and the good times you had during the week? You'll be able to tell your future friends and possible children and grandchildren all about the neat things you two used to do together.
I feel sad that a lot of the teenagers now won't have a "how we met" story other than, "We met at a party and starting making out and had sex." I feel sad that teenagers will have to say, "I was engaged to 3 guys before he asked me and we got married." I feel sad that they won't have anything to say about what they did together other than, "Well, we we could see each other, we had sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. We had a few pregnancy scares." I feel sad that they will have to tell their own children things like, "No, your mother/father wasn't my first sexually. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to this one guy/girl. I had been with 13 people prior to your mother/father."
Go roller-blading.
See concerts.
Go to the park and watch old people in love.
Lay on the ground and look at the clouds.
Go on movie dates.
Share a milkshake.
Read books together.
Go have a few double-dates with your best friend.
Volunteer together.
Talk to strangers together and see if you can help brighten their day.
Help each other grow.
Don't worry about sex.
The time will come when that will be important.
The time is not now.
Be 13.
Be 14.
Be 15.
Be 16.
Be 17.
Be 18.
Enjoy your youth while you can, and look back to laugh and smile at the good, wholesome memories.
Your parents finding out that you engaged in sexual relations would be the least of your worries.
Make good, lasting memories of the short period of time you get to be together. It may seem like having sex is a big deal and you'll remember it forever but you two, most likely, won't as the years go by. Everyone does it. It isn't special.
I do hope that you reconsider and make the right choices for this stage of your life. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S.
Do you really want to be one of the users here asking, "AM I PREGNANT?!" For note, those girls who are doing the friends with benefits thing? They will circle that a thousand times in their lifetimes and won't ever be happy--do any of them ever really sound happy? Nope. Sex isn't as great as what people make it out to be, I promise.
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the first one is about this girl (played by kristen stewart) that gets raped in a jeep during a party,and months later the guy goes to her school and like she has never told anyone about the rape and they act like nothing happened? and later he gets caught and the movie ends by her telling her mom the story.
and the second one is where this guy and girl in high school that start dating..and the first time they met was like at a bonfire or something? and then he starts to physcially abuse her. she decides to break up with him and he kills her and hides her body in a lake after.
i forgot the titles of these movies that i liked and i think i saw them both on lifetime. only people that are positively sure please answer :D or if you have a some idea. (link)
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The first movie is Speak, definately. It was a pretty good movie that I saw a long while back. Kristen Stewart (as Melinda Sordino) was pretty believable--you'd almost think the entire thing was really happening to her.
Melinda is constantly trying to figure out where she belongs now that the rape happened. It caused her to realize that her "real friends" were not really friends after all. Nobody seems to care about what happened and they all have moved on with their own lives, leaving her behind.
The movie goes on to show how wrapped up in expressing her emotions through art Melinda is. In the end, after trying to reach out to friends and tell them about what happened and them not believing her, the truth comes out and all is right.
Speak will actually be coming on Lifetime on 9/15/08 at 10:00 PM if you want to catch it.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0378793/
Could the second movie you're talking about be called No One Would Tell? It stars Fred Savage as Bobby Tennison and Candace Cameron Bure as Stacy Collins.
It's basically about a 16 year old boy who is physically abusive to his own mother and girlfriends, if I recall correctly. He beats Stacy (16 year old girlfriend) a lot and she constantly has bruises on her. He even hurts her at the school gymnasium and she covers for it, telling the coach that she just tripped.
He becomes extremely possessive and jealous-telling her who she can speak to and what she can wear. Turns out, Stacy finds out about an old girlfriend he had that was also beaten by him regularly.
The girl, Stacy, tries to break-up with Bobby but he asks her to meet him to talk about things. Him and a friend drive her down to a lake--the same lake they made love at before--and he kills her there, dumping the body into said lake afterward.
If you haven't seen the movie, I won't spoil the rest of it for you.
If that isn't the movie, I do suggest you watch it. I had to watch it in school and it really wasn't as bad as I figure it would be. Fred Savage does a decent job at playing a horrible, physically abusive boyfriend. The movie is actually based on the true story of Jamie Fuller, a 16-year-old senior in high school who murdered 14-year-old girlfriend, Amy Carnevale, on August 23, 1991.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117191/
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how deep is it til your cheery inside your vagina? and where exactly is it inside of you? (link)
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Your hymen (aka "cherry") is actually not inside of your vagina. If you have a hymen, it can clearly be seen by simply looking at your genitals.
Here are some great drawings of what a hymen is suppose to look like. Be aware that they come in different forms so there are a few drawings to see:
http://www.healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html
The hymen usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina.
It is rare but some females are born with an imperforate hymen--or a hymen with no opening. A doctor will do a simple surgery to create a hole in the hymen of these newborn females so that blood from later menstrual cycles does not back up into the body.
Anyway, since women have a small hole in their hymens anyway things can go into the vagina and, obviously, come out of the vagina. This being said, if a guy got his semen on your vagina in some fashion then there IS a chance of pregnancy to occur.
If you do have vaginal intercourse and you do not completely break/tear your hymen it will stretch out and create a larger hole, just as your vagina will naturally stretch out to accommodate the penis. Some hymens are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or they will tear only partially, and there may be no bleeding at all.
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okay so i made a dumb mistake long story short
i had sex today and my boyfriend didnt use a condom.. i know we should have and i have had pregnancy scares lately where i think im pregnant because i end up missing my period but i guess my cycle just changed a bit bit now its back on track..
i use this online thing to track my period and it says like ovulation day and such this website
http://www.mymonthlycycles.com/
and it says that today i was fertile... and i had sex without a condom ah.. and im only 16 and i know it was a mistake so im not looking for a lecture i just want peoples opinions of if they think i have a high or low chance of getting pregnant.. i mean .. he pulled out and jizzed so.. i don't think any got in me.. (link)
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It sounds like you've put yourself in a pretty tight predicament; however, there is something you need to know about ovulation and "fertile days" that you're talking about.
You are equally fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes). So, this means you can get pregnant during ANY day of your regular cycle equally and you have more chance of becoming pregnant during ovulation.
Meaning you should NEVER engage in sexual activity without "protection" again pregnancy. You will end up pregnant very quickly even if you only have sex on the days you believe you aren't ovulating.
After you have sex you actually do not instantly become pregnant--it can take days before the sperm find and fertilize the egg and then another 6 - 10 days for the egg to actually attach to your uterine wall. Sperm can live in your body for a long time--they've even been some found alive in a woman 2 weeks after being ejaculated inside of her!
This being said, it could take weeks to actually become pregnant after one sexual encounter. The sperm can survive in you a long while, meaning ovulation or not, it's likely they will encounter the peak fertility zone. The think you need to keep in mind is that you are ALWAYS fertile.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize ONE egg. Your partner likely precummed in you, whether you or him realize it or not. Your partner cannot control that and men usually do not feel when it happens. Pre-cum does contains sperm and WILL get your pregnant. Your partner can release pre-cum in your body the second he enters your vagina with his penis--he doesn't know, neither do you.
Purchase another few home pregnancy tests and test yourself occassionally if your period does not come. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage.
For note, I too use mymontlycycles.com to track my cycles. The thing you need to remember is that your period may be off by a day from stressors or such, throwing the PREDICTED ovulation date off. What's even worse is this: stress, weight fluctuation, hormonal imbalances, diet changes, etc. can ALL throw off the ovulation date. MyMonthlyCycles cannot account for such factors.
Pick up some condoms. They are 88% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage; although, they do NOT protect against STDs and STIs.
Pick up hormonal birth control pills. They are 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage; however, they do NOT protected against STDs and STIs.
Don't put yourself in this situation again. Ever. Learn your lesson now before it's too late and you end up with a newborn baby, dropping out of high school, and struggling to make enough money for a pack of diapers.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Very high chance of pregnancy.
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oh my gosh! whenever I get my period,I get bad cramps and I just wanna scream so loud!sometimes I even hug my cat tight. they just really really hurt.is there any way to help them be less painful?HELP please! (link)
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If you are having debilitating cramps you really should talk with your doctor about this. Dysmenorrhea, or cramping and pain during menstruation, is serious. This is the leading cause of lost time from school and work among women.
There could be an underlying issue within or outside the uterus (for example, pelvic inflammatory disease, leiomyoma, endometriosis, adhesions, adenomyosis, uterine displacement, or a retroverted uterus). Endometriosis is the most common cause of dysmenorrhea.
Endometriosis is a serious condition and can leave you infertile if left alone since it results in scar tissue. This means, the lining of the uterus is growing outside of the uterus, where it's suppose to be. This causes the body to be unable to expel it properly. The tissue still detaches and bleeds but is left in your body.
Endometriosis occurs in one in every 5 females. Usually diagnosed between ages 30 and 40; however, it is not unheard of at younger ages. Here is the Wikipedia page about it (which has the symptoms listed):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis
In the meantime, to relieve menstrual cramps try what works best for you:
1. Take ibuprofen (like Advil), or some over-the-counter painkiller such as Midol or Pamprin.
Remember, ibuprofen should always be taken with food or milk. Follow the dosage instructions on the bottle.
2. Start birth control pills.
Many gynecologist recommend birth control pills which regulate and sometimes decrease menstrual cramps.
3. Use a hot water bottle or heating pad on the cramping area. You can now buy ThermaCare HeatWraps for Menstrual Cramp Relief that warms up and is stickied to the front side of your panties so you can go about your day. I've had friends that tried the HeatWraps and they really loved them.
4. Start an exercise routine.
During menstrual cramps, the last thing on your mind is exercise. However, many women find that after they establish an exercise regimen, cramps are lessened. After several months, your menstrual flow may be lighter and less painful.
Try light aerobic exercise, swimming, meditating, or a short jog.
5. Change to a healthier diet.
Try to stay away from eating only junk food or food that does not make you feel better. During or right before your period, make an effort to eat more balanced meals, iron-rich foods (eggs, meat, poultry, fish, beans, nuts), fresh fruit, vegetables, and vitamin supplements.
Taking a calcium supplement daily (all through the month) has helped many women lessen menstrual cramps.
6. Drink lots of liquids (hot and cold).
Most women don't drink the recommended 8-10 glasses of water (or juice) a day. Try and cut down on soda and coffee. If you feel bloated, lethargic, or if you have constipation or diarrhea, be sure to drink lots of water.
Abstain from alcohol. If you tend to retain water during your period, alcohol will only add to your problems.
Cut out caffeine. The caffeine in coffee, tea, cola, and chocolate can contribute to menstrual discomfort by making you nervous. Go caffeine-free. The oils in coffee also may irritate your intestines.
7. Have an orgasm or two.
Achieving orgasm through masturbation or other means temporarily reduces painful cramps for some women. The vigorous muscle action moves blood and other fluids away from the area, relieving pain. If you don't feel comfortable with this method, that's okay. Just do what works for you.
8. Get your feet rubbed.
The foot contains acupressure or trigger points that are believed to be connected along internal energy pathways to your pelvic area. Feel for these spots (which will be sensitive during your period) in the depressions above either side of your heel. Gently press in with your thumb and fingertips. Do the same along the sides of your Achilles tendon, moving up toward your calf muscle.
Try this acupressure technique for a few minutes on each foot. In my experience, this always works for me, especially when I'm having trouble falling asleep because of the cramping.
I hope you find some relief for your killer cramps and get checked out by a doctor. It's better to be safe than to find out years later you may be unable to have children because you let this problem go on too long. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I don't know what I have...
I think that it might be a problem but I don't even know...
My symptomns:
Tired ALL the time
Very forgetful
I shake all the time
Anxious about everything
Fluxuating eating habits (eating a lot then not anything at all)
Developing a very short attention span
Weird aches and pains
Moody (I am a girl if that helps anyy)
Can you help me? Have you seen this before? Have you had any or all of these symptomns? I am very confused and I am very afraid of what the docc might say...
IM me at ashleymarie854 if you need more infooo (via AIM)
(link)
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You're at a very hard age. You're a young teenager girl and have a lot of pressure on you to be "perfect" in society, whether your realize this or not.
There is a problem here in that you believe something is wrong with you when nothing may be. If you keep telling yourself that something is wrong then you will begin experiencing the symptoms of the disorder in question. If you keep saying, "There MUST be something wrong with me!" Then your mind will begin fabricating symptoms to back that thought up.
Regarding the listed symptoms and my thoughts:
1. Tired all the time -- Stress can do wonders to your body. If you're stressed you can not sleep well or not have a good, deep sleep because of it. My guess would be that the stress of being 14 is causing this issue.
2. Forgetfulness -- Again, stress can do some amazing things to your body. When you're under stress your sleep isn't as good, meaning you aren't going to think clearly of the daytime and will easily forget information because of this.
3. Shaking -- Stress can cause you to be tense and nervous. Shaking is usually a sign that you are under a larger amount of stress.
4. Anxious -- See #3. This is what stress does to you.
5. Odd eating habits -- Again, stress can be the cause. People under stress may gorge themselves one day and eat very little the next with the vary amount of stress they are experiencing.
6. Short Attention Span -- Review #2. As a note, you don't have ADD. You could clearly sit down and type this out (most likely in a matter of seconds if not two minutes) meaning you CAN focus. People with ADD cannot focus that long. It's been overly diagnosed because the big man wants to get money from something and people, for some reason, believe having ADD more than some other disorders.
7. Weird aches and pains -- Stress and growth. Your body is QUICKLY growing right now so it's normal to have a few aches and pains from that. You shouldn't be in SEVERE pain but a few achy times is nothing to worry about, especially if you played hard a few days before, have been inactive for a few days, or are under a large amount of stress.
8. Moody -- This relates to stress as well.
You're 14. Your peers are constantly stressing you to be perfect for them. Being a girl, you have to constantly thinking about fashion, hair, make-up, accessories, how to say the right things, how to make people like you, how to get the hot guy, etc. Your peers put this pressure on you, believe it or not.
Then your parents are pressuring you to do well in school. They want you to make good grades, perfect A's would be best. They only want good for you so you shouldn't be mad at them. The problem arises in this:
If you're constantly trying to figure out how to be acceptable in front of your friends then you have little to no time to be good in school.
Your parents won't realize that because they're currently not teenagers and have probably long forgotten that amount of stress. They now stress about family, work, and bills while you're stressing over your entire high school experience.
Your doctor will, most likely, diagnose you with something. I had college psychology classes and my teacher told us that a few disorders were WAY over used so they could suck money from patients without spending time on working out their real problems. A lot of mental-therapy workers like to overly diagnose people with ADD/ADHD and bipolar because we ALL have some of those symptoms--but the catch it, SOME of the symptoms does not make the for the disorder.
If you ever saw a TRUE ADD/ADHD person you would know it. They can't sit still EVER. They can't focus long enough to write out three words on a sheet of paper. They can't sit down and chat with friends online or, hell, in person for that matter. They can't hold a conversation because their mind is constantly jutting back and forth between things.
And just because you have ups and downs in your life doesn't mean you're bipolar. Bipolar people aren't wired right. They get sad for no reason--when really great things are happening. They become furious in a minute, again, for no real reason. You may say, "Well, I should have been happy but I was real sad that day!" but the key is this:
Are you experiencing stress? Are there stress factors in your life? You are very young and at an odd age so the answer is, most likely, YES, you should be under stress.
Your problem is you're 14 and under stress.
Start from there and work your way to less stress and your symptoms will fade off.
Stop thinking something MUST be wrong with you--you're just stressed, most likely, and that's all.
For a last note, your hormones are insane right now since you are quickly maturing. Take that into consideration too.
See a doctor if you're truly concerned. They are the only people that can official diagnose you, but I do bet the real reason is the stress of being a teen. Make an appointment and talk to your doctor and see what they say if it makes you feel better.
Relax and enjoy teenager years and stop freighting over possibly being messed up. You're just fine. The reason your peers don't seem this way is because they hide it too ;) it'll be okay.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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