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friends with benefits
Are friends with benefits really that bad?
This kid Dillon wants to have sex with me but doesnt like me as a girlfriend...If I have sex with him is it such a bad thing?
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HELL YEA IT'S A BAD THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!Dillon is just using you for his needs!he's a man-whore and you deserve someone who respects you for you!DO NOT be his lil sex buddy bc for one that's really slutty and you better than that!
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omg cassandra??
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Hes a manWHORE thats all i no
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"Are friends with benefits really that bad?"
Do you think it's bad? All that matters is what you think. Just keep in mind, a lot of people do think it's bad, so if you are willing to have sex just to be having sex, be prepared to be called some not-so-nice names.
If you have sex with him [I think] you obviously don't have any morals.(As someone below me said)
It's really your choice whether or not you have sex with him.
I think it's bad. I'm sure many people on this site thinks it's bad. The question is, do you?
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Not if you don't have morals.
Friends with benefits is risky. One person usually develops feelings for the other person - resulting in someone getting hurt.
You also need to consider the risk of pregnancy and infections/diseases.
Why don't you keep it for someone special who actually WANTS to be with you.
Don't give yourself to people who won't give themselves to you.
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Yes, because you will grow attached to him, and seeing how he doesn't like you as a girlfriend, you are going to get heartbroken. Plus, sex is supposed to be something you share with a special someone, and although it doesn't seem like a big deal, it is. The decision is deff. up to you, but sooner or later, your going to get hurt..:[
Hope everything goes well
-Taylor
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well its not really bad...
cuz i have had beneficial
friends before...well i actually
still have one...but its really
up to you wether you think its
bad or not...the only bad thing
that might happend is that either
one of you might get to attached
&& get your heart broken if one
of you ever decide to stop being
friends with benefits
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Friends with benefits basically just means two people meet up to engage in sexual activity and that is all. They rarely go on anything considered as a "date" and typically do not speak to each other more than to set-up a meeting for sex.
The problem with friends with benefits is that people tend to become emotionally attached at some point, usually females. When this happens it seems that the person simply cannot grasp that a real relationship is not forming and is not there. They tend to become very depressed and may even obsess over their sexual partner, hoping for some glimmer of a relationship--which, by the way, can never be strong if it were to form because the entire basis for (at least) one person would be sex.
This type of relationship tends to mess with a person's ability to affectively communicate with people that they are not engaging in sexual relations with.
I believe that communication and overall interaction is cut down so much as to avoid emotional baggage from forming (which usually forms anyway but these sort of people try to avoid it, naturally). The more you interact with someone on a personal basis (ie: getting to know who they are), the more likely it is that you will develop some sort of attachment to them. Attachment is a hard thing while in a friends with benefits situation because the other person typically does not share those same feelings for you.
It simply comes down to cutting personal contact out to be able to have a guilt-free sexual relationship. The more you know about a person, the higher chances there are that you will become emotionally or mentally attached to them. This is why many people say that these kinds of "relationships" are extremely unhealthy--you do not learn how to effectively communicate and interact with a partner at all.
Many people in a friend with benefits lifestyle may contract an STD from their sexual partner or may become pregnant (or may impregnate their partner). This becomes complicated and can lead many, many problems. One partner may become attached (if pregnant) or enraged (if pregnant or if a virus is found to have spread). Typically people in a friends with benefits situation are not keen on regular STD screenings so they infect many partners before they realize something is serious and needs to be handled. This leaves the partners angry and they may stalk or physically harm the transmitter.
Could you imagine being pregnant without a partner?
Could you imagine being pregnant without a partner and having to deal with an STD too?
Could you deal with giving birth to a mentally ill child who drains of financially, emotionally, and physically every day because you wanted to have sex with a partner who you weren't ready to have babies with?
There are many issues with this type of situation so people should consider it carefully if they want to lead such a lifestyle. Personally I don't think either could ever truly work out well simply because we are human. We are mentally not capable of dealing with some of the severe situations that come of these sorts of things.
Now, I've had a couple of friends who have been in a friends with benefits situation. I don't mean to speak badly of them but they are in a horrible mess in their lives.
First, there is one that has had so many sex partners that she can't remember all of their names--that doesn't count the ones she didn't know the names of, mind you. She lost her virginity because a guy wanted to do the friends with benefits thing. She cannot keep a steady relationship to save her life because she is constantly thinking sex will solve all of their relationship problems. She has been used time and time again. She has HVP--genital warts kind, and I wholehearted believe that she cannot become pregnant (she doesn't use protection so you'd think she'd be pregnant by now). She is constantly depressed, drinks insane amounts, and has harmed herself in the past to the point of trying to commit suicide. Why? Because nobody "loves" her. Why don't they love her? Because she thinks sex is love--and it's not.
As a note, the friend above always feels like the guy loves her after she has sex with him. He ends up getting stalked by her for weeks. It's really, really sad that she's that desperate and doesn't realize that to snag a GOOD man then DON'T HAVE SEX WITH THEM!
Then there is another friend. She was pressured into having sex when she was around 16 by her peers. They were all talking about sex so she thought she might as well start doing it too. She has been used and tossed out so many times. She has done some horrific things that I'm sure she's ashamed of. The first guy dumped her and then she did friends with benefits with a few guys here and there. A group of guys use to say, "When Tiffany is around you know SOMEONE is getting laid!" It was disgusting how low she put herself. She made herself a sex object. She's in the same predicament the first girl is--going from guy to guy, looking for love, having sex with as many people as she can.
In the end at least one party is always hurt by the situation, regardless of how things were initially set-up to be.
You are worth more than sex anyway.
I hope I've answered your question quite clearly. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Yes, it would.
You know, sex is alot of things to alot of people. Some people think its an expression of love, some people think its alot of fun, some people think its sacred.
The problem with sex and you mixing is that in this case, its nothing at all.
Speaking from an adult perspective, sex is complicated. It generates alot of emotions, passions, urges, and bonds between people. The problem with friends with benefits is that it tries to throw human nature out the window.
When people are friends with benefits for an extended period of time, one of two things happens.
- One of the two people grows to dislike the other. There isnt enough in common for even basic friendship between the two of you, and because the sex had between two people who don't really like each other is going to be terrible, you grow to dislike them more, as the only reason you are around them at all is sex.
- One of the two people wants a relationship more than friends with benefits. It might be you, it might be him, but you have enough in common to be friends. And from that, something develops. I mean, if you like someone as a friend, and you find them attractive enough to have sex with...
Most intelligent adult men see this as a perfectly valid reason to start dating a woman.
I'll offer you an additional thought to think about, from a perspective of a guy.
Guys who ask directly for sex aren't smart about sex themselves. They aren't worth much, either. Do you know the real reason women are supposed to make men work for sex?
Because for the most part, we will do exactly the minimum required in order to get it.
Its sad, its not fair, and it really goes to show you how lost the average guy is without a decent partner. But there it is.
So, if you require that a guy be a decent human being, care about you, be a decent boyfriend, and make you happy outside of the bedroom, then any guy who wants you will have to be decent, care, and make you happy.
And any guy who can't do that, is to self centered to want to, etc, won't get laid (and hopefully not reproduce)
Its also worth noting, that this is one of the areas most men do not mature in quickly. Often times guys who are worthless in their teen years turn into decent, responsible, marriage material later in life.
No, that is not an invitation to date older men.
The point is, that decent guys are fewer and far between at whatever your age group happens to be, because too many of them are not grown up enough.
Which is a very, very good argument to you for waiting a good while for sex. Date around. Kiss somebody. Keep them out of your clothes and make them work a little for what ground you give. Sex should mean enough to both you and them to go through that.
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ok this kid dillion first all sounds like a loser... he clearly does not appreciate you for who you are and if he just wants to fuck you then whats the point? Its not like going to get anything out of it besides becoming emotionally attached. Also you would be consider a whore. and if you really want it that bad ... buy a vibrator or find someone you can really trust =] Hope you make the right decision ... rate me 5 starss
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Chances are, neither you nor "this kid Dillon" have the emotional maturity to make friends with benefits work.
If you really want to, go ahead and have sex with him -- we can't stop you. But I have a hard time imagining how this is possibly going to end well.
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Probably.
I don't think FWB are necessarily evil for two adults who have a good deal of romantic experience and a good emotional vocabulary, but for teenagers who are just learning how to deal with sex and all the emotions it brings up, it's pretty much asking to be used and have your heart torn up into little confuzzled pieces.
If you’ve barely had sex before in your life, you won’t be able to handle no strings attached sex. Honestly, some people never can.
For now, just go after what you really want. If you want a boyfriend, hold out for one and don't settle for anything less.
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Yes it really is.
You are risking an STD. AIDS can kill you
others can stay with you forever causing
problems.
You risk pregnancy which will alter your
life forever. You're much to young to be
tied down with a child.
Thats a lot of risk taking for a guy who
doesn't care enough to make you his
girlfriend.
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