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I'm the girl that previously wrote a question "Proper advice, please" about the guy that im into that is into clubbing and that kind of lifestyle and honestly, i feel kind of bad that i didnt reply to anyone elses question but yours, but i have to say that you made me really open my eyes, what you wrote hit me and really got to me. and i want to say thank you. :) He contacted me yesterday, i told him i was out with my friends and he kept asking how i was going home, and what time and to tell him when i get there, so i said okay but i never did, then he wrote me saying did you not get home or are you waiting for me to ask you if you did? so i told him my battery shut and he was like "no it didnt, i just saw you online a few minutes ago" its like hes so up to date with what im doing. i just dont get him. So ive decided to cut him off completely, theres no need for my feelings to get carried away. i really do like him and i feel like he doesnt appreciate that. so i guess i just have to shut my phone off so i can avoid him for a few days and maybe well drift apart completely, what do yu think? i hope im not annoying you. i just need someones help with all of this and i hope you dont mind if i constantly update you, thank you so much for your help.=) (link)
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I noticed you wrote this to the others advice column too lol.
Anyways, I don't mind being updated.
It seems like he's going a bit overboard by watching what you're doing online and such. Anyways, it's good that you aren't talking to him or you're cutting contact. He just needs to get the hint that you're not interested in being friends but still flirting.
So good job and you're being smart.
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i want to suicide plz help me (link)
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You need to talk to a counselor or therapist. Even go see a doctor and tell them what you're feeling.
There are tons of people who have gone through what you're going through and have felt the same but made it through.
Go talk to someone and get some help.
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my friend Kirstin just called me a few hours ago and said guess what and I said what and then she told me she is dating my ex Roosevelt i am concerned about her dating him because he cheated on me with another boy and several girls and i am afraid that he will do the same to her . should I tell her or just leave it alone ? I don't want her to think i am jealous because she is dating my ex because i am so over him even though I dated him for 7 years on off since high school i am 25 now and she is 27 if that helps .also he talked me into having sex with him by saying if you love me you will even though I didn't want to I loved him at time so I had sex with him should I tell her about this ? (link)
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I would just let her know about what happened. Don't go into details, just give her the straight facts because she's your friend and it's good for her to know.
Pretty much just tell her that you wanted her to know he cheated on you. Don't go into anything else or give any extra detail because that might end up pushing her away or not going to you if something happens between them.
It's never ever good to get in the middle of a relationship or try to give your opinion. I have friends that have told other people that their boyfriend is a bad guy, once they broke up, they never went to those friends because they felt judged. You don't want her to feel bad about being with him and you want her to be able to talk comfortably with you.
So yeah, tell her that he cheated but leave it at that.
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I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend without a condom about a month ago and I took 2 home pregnancy tests yesterday and they both came out positive and i am so scared because my boyfriend is black and my family is very racist on my dad's side but my mom doesn't care if he is black or white but she would freak out if I told her I was pregnant by anybody at 14 years old I know this for a fact because my sister came home about a year ago and told my mom she was pregnant by her boyfriend and he was white and my sister was 17 at the time and she kicked her out she said if you want to act like and adult and have sex and then your going to be treated like one the only reason I had sex in the first place was because my boyfriend said he would break up with me if I didn't have sex with him . I asked him to use a condom and he refused but I still wanted him in my life and now i am pregnant what should I do ? (link)
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Well you have to tell your parents. It's better to tell them now than later. It's really scary but you know it needs to be done soon.
You're already prepared for them to freak out, so just get it out of the way so that you can focus more on your health and the baby rather than stressing over your parents.
You should never ever stay with a guy who treats you like that. It's manipulation and it's very wrong. No girl deserves a jerk like him. Now you know that keeping a guy who would pressure you to have sex with him isn't worth it. That kind of guy won't stay around long if he's just in it for sex.
Remember that you come first.
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Ok so I just started high school. I am 14/f. I am in the marching band and color guard. So, I met this guy(my age/Freshman) at Band Camp a few weeks ago. I didn't think he would want to become friends (he didn't seem easy to approach.) Then he sat with me and a few band friends at lunch during BC and our 8th grader said I was his best friend in the Guard (that made me smile) I said i didn't really have a 'best friend in band'and the guy 'W' said "Hey what about me!?" I was shocked and said yeah laughing. Then school started yesterday. 'W' kept teasing me because i was moving around the band room a lot! 'W's 5th period class is next door to mine (before lunch) and we left our classes at the same time, he walked up next to me and he was going to sit with me and my best friend (he was in 'W' class) and he came with us and we all talked and ate till near the end of lunch when 'W' left to go to his class early.
So then today. I have band with him. We talked a little (he started the conversation), then i realized i was lost.(It's a BIG campus)and he asked where i had to go. I said GEO and he led me through the huge mass of students. He and i talked a little more and i said i would meet him and my Best friend outside of 5th. So he walked me to class *smiles and blushes for no reason* and helped me find where i was suppose to go.
He did the same thing at lunch hung out till the end.
Now for my question... Do he and I seem to be making progress?? I really want to become good friends with him :)and... I'm starting to like him!!
Please help,any advice would be greatly appreciated! (link)
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Yeah you guys seem to be making progress.
I don't really have much advice for you because you seem to have got it down fine. He's definitely interested in becoming good friends with you. Just treat him like you would any other friend and he'll easily become one of them. Then of course after that, you can progress into becoming more than friends if the attraction is there between you guys.
Maybe try hanging out together outside of school. If that's weird then invite more friends along. It's a good way to get to know people better.
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So me and my boyfriend have sex like a couple times a month. I usually have irregular periods but I'm not on BC and I'm really freaked out cause I should've had my period a couple days ago. We use condoms every time we have sex, no exceptions. And we usually make sure there is no breaks or tears in the condom by filling it up with water when we are finished. I'm probably just freaking myself out but let me know what you think... PLEASSSE. (link)
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There is always a possibility of getting pregnant, especially when you're not on birth control.
But there still is a chance you're not pregnant so calm down. Periods can be late for lots of reasons. It can be because of stress, sickness, new routines, new meds, weight, diet change, and of course, pregnancy.
So either wait till you have your period or take a pregnancy test. I'd also suggest getting on birth control so that you don't have this come up again.
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This is kind of long, but please bare with me.
I met this guy about 2 months ago from a friend. ( He is 24, and im 18) age difference is not an issue for many reasons, especially the fact that i live in Egypt, so its normal over here) we got really close and he took my number and since then we've never stopped talking, we wont even go a day without talking at all.. hes always writing me asking me what im doing, where im going or HOW im going, tells me to message him when i know, calls me baby or acts like were together. Now i cant even begin to explain how much feelings i have for him, im addicted and im so attached at this point. He wasnt saying anything about the way we are with eachother so honestly, i got fed up and brought it up with him. I told him that i just wanna know where we stand, and what we are exactly. and if he treats girls the way he treats me or if im different. He told me that im special to him but that there are two things 1st thing, that he lives a different lifestyle that i do (he drinks, smokes up, clubs, bars) and im not like that all (not that i judge or anything, i just personally do not approve of that kind of lifestyle) and he knows i wont be able to handle it or deal with it, and 2nd ) he doesnt want commitment especially with a girl like me because supposdly im so "perfect and amazing" and he doesnt want me to change for him because he thinks hes wrong but he isnt ready for change. So this is what i did, i was like okay i understand, and barely called or texted him anymore.. since then hes been blowing up my cell phone always constantly calling me telling me he misses me , i pretended to be asleep once when he called so that the conversation doesnt prolong. and he was like okay please go to sleep but give me a kiss first, and started being all cute with me and stuff, so i just went along with it and since then i havent been calling or texting, hes the one who always initiates conversation and acts the same with me and i think hes noticed that im different. Now, my question is. what do i do? how do i treat him? he said he doesnt want anything serious for now yet he calls me and texts me all the time. i dont know what to do anymore :/ my feelings for him wont go away this way and im just confused and im hurt honestly cause i feel like if he really wanted me he would have been with me already. i just dont knw and i want to know whats the right thing to do. Thank you for taking the time to answer this, i appreciate it :) (link)
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It's true what you said, that if he really wanted you then he would've already been with you. He doesn't want to be with you because he doesn't want to give up his lifestyle. He already knows that if he was with you, that he wouldn't be able to keep doing the things he's doing.
He made up the excuse that he doesn't want commitment with a girl like you because you're perfect and amazing, it's clear that he just doesn't want to change for you. I mean what guy would turn down a girl who is perfect and amazing?
It does seem like he's noticing that you pulled back. He needs to know that you're not looking for a casual thing. I'm just assuming you actually want to be with him and that you don't want to settle for less.
So you have two choices. You can either wait around for him to change, or you can move on. I'd suggest moving on because he's not ready to be in a relationship. It's ok to be friends and talk to him, but not the way he's talking to you right now because it just hurts. Waiting for him to change may take forever, and who knows if you'll still want him by that time.
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My life is completely over. I feel I don't want to live anymore ((IN TEARS)) I'm ready to leave this world an be with my grandfather where there's no worries no pain and no problems..I always asked my mom why did she have me I should of never been born. I find myself going through deep depressions to the point I started to take all the pills I have, swallowing bleach, and eating rat poison, I don't want to live anymore my mind is set. My depressions are beginning to worsen I often cry myself to sleep and hope that I don't wake (link)
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Well we're not even allowed to tell how you how to end your life. We're supposed to help you work through your problems or find a solution to help you live.
Also, there is no way to commit suicide without there being any pain. You're taking away a life, there is going to be pain.
There are people who have gone through situations like you have. They have made it out of it and are completely happy now.
This is your depression, not you. You can't give into it though. What you need to do is talk to a counselor, therapist or even a doctor and tell them what you are feeling and they will seek help for you.
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i have always liked to hang out with my cousin but now that he is always with his friends i dont see him with out them. i am starting to like one, is that ok? (link)
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So you like your cousins friend?
I don't see how that's a bad thing, unless he's a bad guy or something.
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I've rephrased my previous question because that answer did not help me at all :L please can someone help me out and tell me which house hold items I can use INSTEAD OF a dildo, a real penis and any food. I live with my parents so I don't want them to find out so things I can find in my bedroom maybe???? I am a girl and thankyou in advance please helpp??? (link)
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I can't give you any other options because I have seen people who tried using other things as sex toys and they got an infection or ended up in the hospital with something stuck there.
They made sex toys a certain way with certain materials because it can easily be cleaned and nothing will hurt you.
I think your best bet would be to use your fingers until you can actually buy toy.
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21 year old female.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. Lately I have noticed that I have put on some weight. I am 5 feet tall and currently weight 136 pounds. I wouldn't say that I am exactly fat but I am not used to being this weight. Either way, I am torn about whether or not I want to lose weight. On one hand, I have preferred in the past to be fit and thin, but recently I have been questioning whether it really is that important to be skinny, and I have been trying to accept myself as I am.
My boyfriend is very sweet and supportive. I have been asking him lately if he thinks I need to lose weight and he would say "no I love you exactly as you are" but I asked him again the other day and he told me that he does wish I would lose some weight and that he is less attracted to me since I have put it on, but he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to be a jerk. I don't feel like it's fair for me to be mad at him since I asked, but I am hurt that he feels this way.
Do you think it's okay for your romantic partner to say this? Other thoughts/comments? Thanks
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I think it's ok for a partner to say this if you truly wanted to know the truth. I mean in my own opinion, I wouldn't want to hear that from my partner.
If your boyfriend is a good guy, sweet and supportive and truly wasn't being mean or anything, then you're fine. As long as he loves you at the end of the day.
I really wanted to point out something. It's really good to accept yourself as you are. But it's also good to take care of yourself, so if you're healthy then you have nothing to worry about. A lot of skinny girls aren't healthy, some of them are though. So it's more on being fit and healthy than just being skinny or just being bigger. So I think you should strive more towards being healthy, not losing weight.
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I am 17 a girl and want sex and mite be doing it(sex) tomorrow night and at church with my feauce. Is it ok to have sex at this age? and at church? And be for getting married? (link)
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Ok it is alright to have sex at 17 as long as you're ready. So pretty much you have all the right protection like birth control and condoms. You don't want to get pregnant or contract any STIs. Then of course being emotionally ready. I knew some girls who had sex and they weren't emotionally ready. They were questioning and they were nervous and scared but they did it anyways and ended up regretting it.
It's not ok at all to have sex at church though. That's just wrong.
As long as you're ready and protected, then you should be fine...but don't do it at church.
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How do you know if a guy is a virgin (link)
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There is no way to tell if a guy is a virgin. There is also no way to tell if anyone at all is a virgin. It's just a term people use if they haven't had sex.
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So there is this guy who I am very good friends with (he is a few years older than me) I have known him for a year now and he is confusing me so much! Before this happened i had an idea he might like me but I'm not sure any more. Ok so i was at this event awhile back and he kept touching me (in an appropriate way) like he kept holding my hand, wrapping an arm around me, hugging me etc. Like very touchy. I was totally ok with it though :). and he even kissed my head and was leaning on me and walking VERY close to me. So then i've been seeing him at a school camp thing and (He is VERY shy but comfortable with me i guess :D) and he's was more shy around me and awkward. and I am now the one who has to go up to him (except when i got back from a trip i was gone five days and he came up to me and hugged me and told me he was glad i was back.) and he's way more shy around me than usual... the thing is though (we text everyday)we kind of flirt when we text ( we are both shy) and i was at a football game and i was waiting to be picked up and he walked over to me and hugged me while i was on the ground and said he'll see me when school starts. so... What is up with him>?? He's acting all flirty and touching me and then he's super super shy.... What?? Please help, Thank you!! (link)
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I don't see how it's mixed signals at all. It's completely obvious that he likes you. Guys that aren't interested won't be touching you, kissing your head, holding your hand, anything. Guys can still be shy and flirty at the same time. It's just his personality.
So yeah, he definitely likes you.
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Hello,
I'm a bisexual teenage girl, and I'm in a long distance relationship with an amazing girl. We mostly text and meet each other on Facebook, but I would like to know some other ways to enhance our relationship.
I would appreciate any suggestions on fun things we can do -- for example, things we can do together on the computer. It doesn't have to be on the computer, though -- just anything enjoyable we can do without physically being next to each other.
Thank you! (link)
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I love doing things with my boyfriend when we're not together. So here are some ideas..
Watches movies or shows at the same time. You can either be on the phone, on IM or webcam while doing this.
You can ask questions. Like take turns asking each other a question.
You can share a journal online or send it back and forth.
You can find games online to play together.
You can read a book together. Like maybe a chapter a night or every other night. It also brings something new to talk about.
If you guys mail each other things, maybe send her cookies or a sweet love letter.
Truth or dare is always fun.
You can play phone games or on the webcam. Like 21 questions. Where you think of an object and the other person asks up to 21 yes or no questions. Or the ABC game. We used to play this on car rides when we're bored. Like you'll say something that starts with an A, so for example, You: Apple. Her: Apple, Bear. You: Apple, bear, cactus. You pretty much have to remember the words said before.
Or name that tune. Where you hum a song and they have to guess it. Then 2 truths 1 lie. You have to tell 3 stories, 2 that are true and 1 that's a lie and they have to guess which one is the lie.
Those are good to do when you're bored.
I knew a couple who were overseas who would eat together. They'd plan a meal every once in awhile, get the ingredients and cook together and eat. They'd use webcams.
One of my favorite things to do is for both of you to write down your love story. People remember things differently so she might bring up things that you forgot. Include the details of how you met, when your feelings were changing, how you felt when you told them, or how you felt when they told you, first impressions, what initially attracted you to them, first kiss, favorite memory, first date, how you felt about being in a long distance relationship, just everything. Then exchange the stories.
Me and my boyfriend used to do this, do the how much I love you. Like using analogies. Like, "I love you more than a fat kid loves cake" "I love you more than a pigeon love statues"
You guys can take free online classes together.
You both can make a list of things you can to do together when you see each other.
You guys can make quizzes online about yourself and have her take it and you can take hers. You learn new things about each other.
On webcam, you can play charades..if your webcam isn't slow.
Then of course there are tons of sites online where you can play free games. Hope this helped!!
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how can you tell or notice that your ex likes someone else? or is interested in someone.. like I have a feeling my ex likes someone or is interested in them yet they do talk to me once in a while and sometimes flirt I'm confused ?!?! (link)
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It's sometimes hard to tell if someone likes someone else. If they act like they want to talk to them and be around them a lot and act flirty towards them, then it's a good chance that they're interested in someone else.
Does he flirt with you when he's bored or something?
I don't know much of what's going on in the situation. Like why you guys broke up, why you guys are still talking, ect.
But really, if you guys are over and have no intentions of getting back together, it shouldn't matter.
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An old friend of mine whom I have known for 13 years fell out with me 3 years ago. My ex friend has been dating a very manipulative guy for the past 8 years and since, I have seen her loose her friends over the years.
Well, Too keep this short, I haven't seen or spoken to her in 3 years.
In the past month or two another old friend of mine found where I live (I live in the next building over from my ex friend ) We all used to be friends in high school back 10 years ago. I noticed since I got back in contact with this old friend, My ex friend has been seemingly nice all of the sudden.
The other day I was walking and she waved from a distance, I stood there for a few seconds dumb founded and walk away. I couldn't bring myself to wave as even 3 years later I just have a lot of hard feelings and anger towars her. She basically allowed her boyfriend to turn her against all her friends and has in the past given me the cold shoulder quite a few times. I admit, I am one to hold a grudge and if you screw me I never forgive. Why all the sudden ia ahe being "nice? She doesn't know I am in contact with this old friend. (I stopped talking to her also because i didn't want drama) I noticed she doea it when she's alone too. (link)
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You said she got involved with a manipulative guy, was that when you guys fell out?
If so, you'll see that kind of thing happen when they fall in love with the wrong guy who demands from them and they'd do anything to please him.
As for her being nice, like you said, you hold grudges. Most people can move on.
I've had a friend screw me over, I ended up forgiving him but I didn't want him as a friend. I would smile, wave, ect. It'd be one of those friendly but not friends type of thing.
She's probably just gotten over it and isn't holding onto it like you have. She's probably gone back to being more normal than before.
I'm assuming you don't want to be her friend, but it's not a bad thing to act nice even if you have no interest in being their friend again. It's more of the mature thing to do.
But anyways, that would be my best guess as to why she waved.
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I'm 14 and a female.. I asked a question about 2 months ago about me not sure if I should go to Mexico or not, and well I did go. It was an unforgettable experience. unfortunately my grandmother passed away and my mom and I have been having issues since then. I've always had this anger towards my mom. I try to let it go but the thought of what she did/does makes me sick. A few years back i was a lot younger and my older sister caught her sexting on webcam with a man. I was too young to really be upset but a few months ago she left her phone in my room and she left to the store and I also did something I shouldn't have. I snooped through her phone and saw she was sexting and had pictures of a man's area.. I haven't told her anything, my sister back then did but I didnt want to create the tension that they created before i thought i'd just forget about it but i didnt. its been making us fight so much i get angry for the smallest thing, how can i make ourb relationship better? (link)
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Well you already know you shouldn't have gone through her phone.
Cheating isn't right, but you don't know the whole story so you can't hold things like this against her.
Honestly, you should let her do what she wants because she is an adult. I mean you haven't done anything anyways since you found this out a few months ago right?
My mom cheated on my dad several times within this past year. Of course I was upset, but I didn't let that ruin our relationship because it's not between me and her. It's between her and my dad. It's not your place to hold this against her. I do agree that you have every right to be upset.
So you also want to make your relationship better? I think you should talk to her and let it all out. Tell her what you did, you're sorry but you want to know what's going on. You are partially involved in this because cheating can ruin families, but remember, you don't know what's going on and you're not fully aware of what can be going on in the situation.
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So I have been talking to this guy for a year off and on. At first when we started talking all we did was make out but as the relationship went on we did more. He ended up giving me head. Recently we were at a park, but we just stayed in his car. We started making out then he started to finger me. My pants ended up off and he ended up giving me head. We hung out a few more times after that but then the last time we hung out he didn't wanna hook up because all we do is kiss. I tried to give him a hand job and all he said was don't unbutton my pants unless you're giving me head. I decided to stop talking to him after that because I realized that maybe this wasn't a real relationship and he was just using me. But we would talk on the phone all of the time and text. But Was he just using me? And is what I did slutty? (link)
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Yeah, this guy wasn't looking for a relationship. He just wanted sex. I thought you said you guys were talking, not dating?
Anyways, I really hate the word slut. No girl deserves to be called that. And no, if you look up the definition of slut, it's not even close to what you've done. Plus, you thought there was something more going on than there actually was.
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Hi I am a fourteen year old girl. Last December I read a paragraph about depersonilization disorder and I've heard if you keep thinking about it you will eventually 'get' the disorder. Long story short, I worried about getting this disorder for about nine months but I haven't had any of the symptoms and I really don't want to 'get' this disorder. How do I forget about this disorder? I am healthy but I'm always worried something is wrong with me. How can I build my confindence? (link)
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You don't just get disorders from thinking about it. It has everything to do with your brain and chemicals and such.
If you really think you have a disorder, you need to see a doctor so you can be diagnosed and they can help you with it.
Whatever you heard about just getting the disorder, it's just to get in your head and trick you. My dad once told me a story about a friend in India. His wife was talking to someone about if someone thinks they're sick, they'll really believe they are even when nothing is wrong with them. She didn't believe it but she did what her friend told her and tried to test it out on her husband. Her husband was outside sleeping with his mouth open and she woke him up saying, "A snake just went in your mouth!" He didn't believe her but she kept going on about how he was sleeping with his mouth open and she saw it go in. Eventually, he thought he felt it inside of him and started thinking he was really sick and would act sick. Then he was sleeping again and she woke him up and told him she saw it come out of his mouth. So then he started feeling better.
So, it's a really strange story but I think you get what I mean. Like, it's all in your head.
But seriously, if you believe you have a disorder, don't self diagnose yourself, see a doctor.
As for building your confidence, you need to get out of your comfort zone. That's the hardest thing to do. Smile at people and say hi. Dress comfortably and pretty, make sure you feel good. You can slowly build your confidence by talking to people you don't know or don't know too well. The biggest problem we have is being judged and wondering what other people think of us. Most likely, the person you talk to is too busy thinking about themselves and how they appear. So don't stress it.
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