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Hiya, my names Claire. I'm 16 and I live in England. I live with my dad, my older brother and my younger sister. I have a pretty complicated family situation, so although yours may not be the same, I can probably replate to something of the confusion and hurt people with broken families feel.I'm a Christian, and I guess that is reflected in most of my responses to questions. Compared to some people, I've had a pretty good 16 years of life so far, not huge amounts to complain about. But there have been times when I've really needed to rely on God to pull me through and he's never EVER failed me. I trust his promises completely, and I depend on Christ with all my heart
advice
Hey, I’m 15, a girl. My best friend, a guy, pulled a disappearing act from my life eight months ago after we fooled around a tiny bit. As in, he wouldn't talk to me, acknowledge my existence, or even give an explanation why. Of course, it may help that we were caught messing around by his mother.
Anyway, he recently recontacted me. It was the first time I’ve ever cried from being happy. That’s how much it meant to me. I mean, after 9 months of not acknowledging my existence... he was my best friend. It was like, whoa
But due to how he's acting, I’m feeling like a booty call. And I know that if the situation were to actually materialize, I wouldn’t be able to muster up the emotional distance necessary to be a fuck buddy with him. He means too much to me. At the same time, I’m very attracted to him still, physically. And I wouldn't mind playing around a bit, as long as he can guarantee he won't pull his disappearing act again as soon as he gets a blowjob or whatever.
Now, if I were to flatter myself, I would venture to guess that back in July, when we first messed around, he got the feelings of friends and more-than-friends confused, and stopped communication because of it. He said in the email that he couldn't tell me the reasons and that they were pretty much beyond my control, but he thinks he's “over it now”. :o
Would it be stupid to engage in anything with him again? This sounds kinda sad, but I’m almost willing to do it just to be able to hang out with him again. I don't need him physically. I have fuck buddies, but it's not what I want from him. Would this work to get a friendship back? Maybe a bit more intimate, but whatever.
But, I’m getting irritated. In the halls at school, he'll meet my eyes and nod, but never a hug. Barely a word. Then he calls me late every night to talk about what we're going to do... you know. Somehow, my whole 'let's just be friends for now' thing has completely disappeared, and virtually all we talk about is, you know... sex. I mean, he's done next to nothing since, and he's horny as fuck. He spent like, half an hour last night trying to convince me to let him take off my pants. And it's just bizarre to talk and talk and talk about it without getting anywhere. And I’m not sure I want to do this so fast! After all, it's only been a couple weeks. He’s my FRIEND, above all. I REALLY don't want him to do his disappearing act for another 8 months again after he gets whatever it is he wants.
So basically we’re discussing nothing of substance but what he wants and plans. And it's weird. When I send him random messages talking about my day and stuff, he doesn't respond. Sigh.
Man, I swear, if he just wants some ass, I’ma get upset, because I can't muster up the emotional distance necessary for that. Because he means more to me than just a quick lay.
Gah.
Wow, this is really long. And has zero organization. I’m super sorry. =/
But what do you think? Is it worth doing to get my best friend back? Or should I just tell him that his behavior is inexcusable, and forget about it? I don’t bloody know…
The guy sounds an asshole. Sorry, I know he was your mate, but you deserve better than that. Don't give him what he wants, he shouldnt get to use you like that. Tell him if he wants your friendship back, thats fine, but he'll have to about it the tough way, building a relationship without sex.
Stay strong, God bless
Would you ever meet someone in person off of myspace? I know most of you are going to say no but what if it's a friend of a friend?
I met a friend of a friend who I'd been introduced to onlnie and went out with ihm for a a few months (: As long as your friend says it will be ok and you trust them, its fine
How did Judas betray Jesus? There is a band called Judas Priest. Does that pertain to the story and so they are satanic-ish because Judas was a traitor? Or was he? I don't know.
[As a correction to the person who answered first, the disciple to whom Jesus said "Before the cock crows you will deny 3 times that you know me" was Peter.]
Yes, Judas was the disciple who betrayed Jesus with a kiss.
Matthew's gospel says:
"Then one of the Twelve, the one called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and asked, "What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?" So they counted out for him thirty silver coins. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over." {Matt. 26: 14-16}
"While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss is the man; arrest him." Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, "Greetings, Rabbi!" and kissed him.
Jesus replied, "Friend, do what you came for."Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him." {Matt. 26:47-50}
The other gospels say pretty much the same. As for the gospel of Judas, which is not in the bible, along with other books such as the gospel of Thomas, do not appear in the Bible because when compared to all othe histrical evidence, they do not give accurate accounts and therefore cannot be taken as truth.
And the person before me summed up Judas Priest.
The books Gossip Girls.
Do you need to read the first one? or can you skip around and read the 2nd one first? does it matter?
I read them out of order and it made sense fine to me. Nice choice of books ;)
so I'd really like to know how to sing, you mean like really nice sound and everything, but I'm too ashamed to take singing lessons, so is there any way I could learn myself how to sing?
THANK YOU SO MUCH
There are a lot of courses, books and CDs that teach yourself how to sing, some of these can be found at:
http://www.academicsuperstore.com/market/marketdisp.html?PartNo=715130
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/034064351X/202-4479958-8416638#product-details
Also online there are sites that give tips and tuition for free, such as these:
http://www.vocalist.org.uk/singing_exercises.html
http://a2z-singing-tips.com/
Keep practising and looking round on the web. Once you feel confident enough, get a singing teacher. Nice ones wont care if you can't sing a note, they'll just help you from wherever you're at!
Good luck and God bless
I don't know if this counts as racism, but my friend doesn't really care or know about the difference between Orientals such as Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, etc. It's not that she disses the races but she doesn't get who is who and says "Japanese, Korean, whatever" or "Chinese, Korean, same difference." She also calls me a different race than I am and her family always asks me if I get my stuff from China when I buy my stuff here. I was born in the U.S. and the question really irritates me. I think her dad's the only normal one. She's not Oriental herself but she is Asian. (I don't really want to give anything away because it is probably rude, I don't know). How do I teach her about the differences? I am Oriental but I need some help. Thanks in advance!
Next time she talks about an Oriental race, and doesn't know which nationality she is talking, you could suggest to her that she simply uses the word Oriental instead. Then, while you're on the subject, gently tell her that people from other races won't midn her asking if she's not sure, and it's better to ask than just dismiss the difference. Perhaps you could introduce her to some people of specific races, and introduces them as Korean or Chinese or whatever race they happpen to be, so that she learns to associate the people with their race.
Good luck and God bless
It's almost my boyfriend and I's 2 month anniversary... do I get him something or just ignore it? If I should get him something what should it be?
I'd say get him something silly that will make him laugh, and let him know you remembered. Do you have any private jokes between the two of you? Get him something funny that will remind him of that, that only you two would understand. Or if you had a particularly special day or experience, something small that reminds you of then.
God bless
I have started dating this guy a few weeks ago, and we have fun when we go out, when we hang out and everything. I just cant seem to make him want to have sex with me. I am very beautifull, but I do have very small boobs. (A cup) I am going to be 21 in a month, and I really like him and want to have sex with him. We can be totally naked with eachother and making out, but he just doesnt seem to want to do it. He knows that I want to have sex with him. WHen we make out he wont touch me down there and he also sometime looses his erection. Im not sure if he just doesnt like me or what? hmm well thats about it. some good advice is needed
Don't pressure the poor guy! You've only been going out a couple of weeks, most people take quite a bit longer than that before they'll jump in to bed with each other. Your sexuality and his is a very precious thing. So don't rush things. I personally believe sex should be saved for marraige, but if you won't go with that, at least realise it should be kept for long term serious relatioships. If you're gonna be with him seriously, wait. Sex will be rubbish if he doesn't want it, so wait until he's ready. Love him for who he is, not how far he'll go. And if you're not willing to wait, he deserves to be with someone who respects him.
I need some ideas on how to save my money! everytime i get money i spend it right away and cant save anything for my life (like today i wasted $80 on a bathing suit and spent $175 total) ive tried locking up my money but i always find excuses on why i need to get it out. like ill borow money from my sister and then ill have to go and get her mine or ill get grounded. also i cant get a bank account yet (its just not worth it when i dont have an income) and i cant give it to my parents because they have been known to steal money off of me. Any ideas? im desperate! or tips are good too!
Get a friend to be accountable for you, explain the problem to someone you really trust who you see often, and ask them to look after your money for you. That way, it will require more time and effort to access your money so you will be less likely to spend for the sake of it. And your friend can judge when you need money, and when you're just going to regret spending it later.
God bless.
i heard a lot of people talking about how the first sign a relationship is going to end or when its going bad is when the guy er girl says "theyre too tired" er "rather sleep" then talk/hang out with you. it seemed kind've ridiculous to me, but i was wondering what other people thought.
thanks!!
I've been with my boyfriend 7 months, and I know him well enough to tell when he is actually tired. When you're a teenager, life gets tiring, for everyone! Stress does that to you. Anyways, sometimes he does use that as an excuse if there's some problem he doesn't want to talk about, but when you've been with someone a while, its pretty easy to see through that!
Anyone who ends a relatioship but using excuses constantly isn't worth being with at all!
God bless
Ok,
I have a boyfriend BUT the thing is that I am not allowed to have one. I don't know how long my relationship will last before my mom and dad find out...but I really like the guy. If I tell them I have a bf they will freak out...I really don't know what to do! PLEASE help!
(14/f)
I'd say you need your boyfriends help to work out this situation. Explain everything to him, and if he really thinks your worth it, he'll want your parents onside. So, take him home one day, maybe with another friend, just for supper or something, and say play a board game with your family, something like that, make sure your parents have a good time too. And casually ask what they thought of him, as well as your other friend (preferably female to avoid suspicion). Do this for a while, and then when you think the tiem is right, you can ask them if you can date this guy, and if they say no, have a calm and reasonable discussion with them about why you think it would be ok to date him, and listen to their opinions too.
Hope everything works out,
God bless.
im 13/f
My best friend in the whole entire world is in the hospital, shes anemic. She is really really low in hemoglobin and the doctors told her that if she were an adult she'd be dead. She is staying overnight and getting a blood transfusion. I've lost a lot of people in my life, and shes always been there. I wouldnt be able to live without her. Is she gonna be alright? THanks ill rate high
I can't tell you honey, but you sound like you're a really good friend to this girl and she's lucky to have you in her life. Let her know you're thinking of her, and keep her spirits high. Maybe you could make a card and get all her friends to write messages on it? Hope everything works out for you, I'll be praying for you and your friend.
God bless.
My dad is allergic to cats but he had one as a kid and he loves them. He promised to get me one if i cleaned my room. is there any way i could get around cleaning my room and still have a cat? how do i get him to get me one?
I think your dad is being pretty reasonable to let you have one if you clean your room. After all, he is allergic to them. I'd say just go for it with your room. It can't be that bad, and if you really want the cat, it'll be worth it. maybe you could suggest you and you're dad clean your room together as a joint effort, and try and have some fun while you do it?
Enjoy your new pet!
What should I do? there is this boy i've been dating over a year and i have feelings for someone else that likes me alot. the boy i'm dating can't seem to make up his mind about if he wants to be with me or not. so should i choose the new guy or stick with my boyfriend?
Take things sloooow. Suggest to your current boyfriend that the two of you take a break. If you've been with the lad for a year, breaking will be hard, so make it easier on yourselves. Take a break so he can work out his feelings for you, and you can work out what you want. Then if you still want to be with him, and so does he, fine. If either one of you doesn't want it, go with the other guy.
i been with my gf for about 3 months, we talked for about 4 months befor getting together. we only have communication by phone every day since we don't see each other, we only see each other on week-ends. in the 2nd month of our relationship we had sex (she was a virgin). since than we mostly spend our week-ends having sex but week days talking serious of our daily lifes. she says she loves me but i think i been come an obsession for her. what can it be obsession or love?
I think 2 months in to any relationship is too early to be having sex, especially if it's someones first time. Take time out from the sexual side of your relationship (and if it's love, you'll be able to do that.) to work out your real feelings towards her, and give her time to realise if this is really what she wants. Then take things slow. If you're really in love, you have all the time in the world to be thinking about sex later on. Enjoy the new excitement of the early stages in you're relationship, you'll miss it later.
i dont have flat abs.. so if i were to just go on a diet and not eat as many fatty foods and not do crunches would that help? because whenever i do crunches it never shows improvement.. even for like a month
Definately go with a combination of the right diet and plenty of excersise. Crash diets etc don't work, jsut stick with non-fatty, non-sugary foods, and healthy size portions. Make sure you always eat breakfast too, and enough at mealtimes so you avoid snacking. Combine this with all the excersise you've been doing, and excersise that you really enjoy, and you'll notice the difference.
So this is a last minute kind of deal, but I have a friend who is supposed to come over. My mom went out for a while, but i have no idea when she is coming back, or any way of calling her. Last time I talked to my mom she said if my friend comes over she'll have to get a ride. My friend found a ride, but I don't know whether I should tell her to come over or not. My mom DID say she could come over.
I don't really understand why you're friend shouldn't come over. If your mom did say it was ok, and your friend has a ride, then there shouldn;t be any problem.
Sorry if I've missed osmething, hope everything works out ok.
okay, so i know everyone says sex hurts. i can't even put in a tampon without it being painful... what if i have sex and it's EXTREMELY painful? what can i do? i'm not having sex ANY time soon at all... so no "omg don't have sex" talks, please.. but i'm just wondering because if i can't even put in a tampon without thinking i'm doing it wrong or it hurting, how am i even supposed to have sex??
thank youuu
Wow I actually know exactly how you feel!
I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing if you're saying you're not gonna have sex anytime soon, you're probably still growing and stuff. I'd say don't worry about it, people grow and develop and the more you get used to yourself, the easier that kind of thing will become.
Also, when you do choose to have sex, make sure it's with a guy who's like your best mate as well as your boyfriend/husband. The kind of guy you will have discussed this with first, many times, and will know exactly what you're scared of and how to make it easier.
Don't worry for now, and trust your body to know what it's doing!
Hope this helped
Claire
xxx
Recently my mom gave me some of her clothes because they do not fit her anymore. The clothes are a bit large on me. Do you think that by wearing these clothes too large for me I will let myself go and get larger as to where those large clothes actually fit? Will wearing too big clothes weaken my weight loss attempts? What should I do?
I don't think it would especially damage your weight loss attempts, but think positively! You don't need to wear clothes that big, so don't! It could weaken your self-esteem and build a negative picture of yourself. Along with weight loss comes the issue of being comfortable with who you are, and I think the best thing is to stick to clothes that fit, not too big, not too small. You'll look great, and feel great, and will help you stick to your target figure.
Hope this helps
Claire
xx
if you like someone but have a bf/gf is it considered cheating? jw.
It's fine as long as you're careful with yourself. It's not cheating, but if you're in a situation where you're alone together, you need to acknowledge your own feelings and be careful to get out if it looks like anything might happen between you. And consider your motives when wanting to spend time with them or be alone, keep in control.
Claire
xx