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Hey, I’m 15, a girl. My best friend, a guy, pulled a disappearing act from my life eight months ago after we fooled around a tiny bit. As in, he wouldn't talk to me, acknowledge my existence, or even give an explanation why. Of course, it may help that we were caught messing around by his mother.
Anyway, he recently recontacted me. It was the first time I’ve ever cried from being happy. That’s how much it meant to me. I mean, after 9 months of not acknowledging my existence... he was my best friend. It was like, whoa
But due to how he's acting, I’m feeling like a booty call. And I know that if the situation were to actually materialize, I wouldn’t be able to muster up the emotional distance necessary to be a fuck buddy with him. He means too much to me. At the same time, I’m very attracted to him still, physically. And I wouldn't mind playing around a bit, as long as he can guarantee he won't pull his disappearing act again as soon as he gets a blowjob or whatever.
Now, if I were to flatter myself, I would venture to guess that back in July, when we first messed around, he got the feelings of friends and more-than-friends confused, and stopped communication because of it. He said in the email that he couldn't tell me the reasons and that they were pretty much beyond my control, but he thinks he's “over it now”. :o
Would it be stupid to engage in anything with him again? This sounds kinda sad, but I’m almost willing to do it just to be able to hang out with him again. I don't need him physically. I have fuck buddies, but it's not what I want from him. Would this work to get a friendship back? Maybe a bit more intimate, but whatever.
But, I’m getting irritated. In the halls at school, he'll meet my eyes and nod, but never a hug. Barely a word. Then he calls me late every night to talk about what we're going to do... you know. Somehow, my whole 'let's just be friends for now' thing has completely disappeared, and virtually all we talk about is, you know... sex. I mean, he's done next to nothing since, and he's horny as fuck. He spent like, half an hour last night trying to convince me to let him take off my pants. And it's just bizarre to talk and talk and talk about it without getting anywhere. And I’m not sure I want to do this so fast! After all, it's only been a couple weeks. He’s my FRIEND, above all. I REALLY don't want him to do his disappearing act for another 8 months again after he gets whatever it is he wants.
So basically we’re discussing nothing of substance but what he wants and plans. And it's weird. When I send him random messages talking about my day and stuff, he doesn't respond. Sigh.
Man, I swear, if he just wants some ass, I’ma get upset, because I can't muster up the emotional distance necessary for that. Because he means more to me than just a quick lay.
Gah.
Wow, this is really long. And has zero organization. I’m super sorry. =/
But what do you think? Is it worth doing to get my best friend back? Or should I just tell him that his behavior is inexcusable, and forget about it? I don’t bloody know…
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The guy sounds an asshole. Sorry, I know he was your mate, but you deserve better than that. Don't give him what he wants, he shouldnt get to use you like that. Tell him if he wants your friendship back, thats fine, but he'll have to about it the tough way, building a relationship without sex.
Stay strong, God bless
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If I were to venture a guess, I'd say his mom , after having caught you together may have put the brakes on for him.
She may be past it now or forgot who you were...whatever the reason, he must feel safe in thinking he can be with you again.
I don't approve of the whole friends with benefits thing myself. I think if you care that much for someone then that kind of casual relationship only leads to heartbreak...especially for the girl.
So, If he wants a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship once again and you want to try that...go for it. If he just wants someone to use
when he's horny...tell him to forget it. :)
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