tasuki's advice column

My frined would like to know, since she insists even when she's dating somebody, looks wouldn't matter. This is what I told her:

And, you know what, looks do matter. Nobody would go out with me if my clothes were ragged, smelly wet and ripped jeans, my hair unbrushed, would they? I don't get you, looks do matter. I swear. I thought you liked somebody because they're cute, and cute=looks. Like=personality and/or looks.

So, you have to re-think what 'looks' means. You think your Dad married your step mom because of her personality? Yes, but not alone. he also cared aout her looks.

Also, if looks don't matter at all to you, why do you think Jesse is ugly? it's because of his LOOKS.

Why do you 'luv' Seth?

-Actor

-Personality

-LOOKS.

I can't like a guy without the looks, they depend on the person, they represent what they person IS. If I wore exactly what I described in my other comment, nobody would be attracted to me. Like Dylan. Ripped shirt, over sized jeans--and he's overweight, nobody would like him.

Looks are very important. Don't go looking like a rag doll. And you have to understand, I'm not saying looks only matter.

--
Thanks, will rate high.

Hmm...probably...it would be nice to know what your PROBLEM and QUESTION were. This kind of thing belongs on your myspace or livejournal. I seriously don't know how to answer a question that isn't there. And your Dylan friend sounds like a perfectly fine guy to me, see, I'm not picky about weight. Just as long as he doesn't have acne on his acne and doesn't even try to do anything about it--that's just sick. But even though looks reflect how much a person takes care of themself, it doesn't show you who the person is! Looking at the preppy way I dress and my not-blue/green/pink hair, you would probably guess certain things about my personality. And you'd probably be wrong about most of them!!

Edit: You can easily get one.

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okay my sister is 12 and well, theres this girl and she is bullieing my sister! shes like "omg you better take my pictures off that websight or blur my piicture outt or i SWARE TO GOD ill kill you!!" then my sister called me over and i said

me- is that a thret
her- if you call it one it is
her- wanna piece of me?
me- no hunn, i want the whole thing!
her- right
me- couldn't thing of a good comeback eah?
her- if you dont take the pic out, i sware to god! i will kill your sister becasue i know this is may. i sware to god i will.
me- ifine want me to call the police
her- then ill delete your myspace and the picture site
me- i dont give a &#@! what you do!
her- you will when you see your sister in a funerol in 3 days
my sister- you litte &#@%! im older then you and you cant boss me around you little %!@@#*
her- yeah i can and i will
me- right i wanna see that
her- dont go to school tomorrow or youll be sorry that you did!

can you help me because this is really annoying me

ill rate you no matter what, unless if it is really bad and un-detailed adivce. try uour best :)

I do not think that girl will really kill her or you, though your sister really needs to tell the principal or somebody who can help. But what pictures of her did your sister put on a website? Were they embarassing ones that made fun of her? If that's it, then I think she has a right to be angry. Your sister should take them down. But she doesn't have a right to threaten to kill anyone. I think it's all talk, but it's still horrible talk and it is illegal. Best of luck to both of you.

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When people say "Hope I helped!", that is so freaking annoying. Is anyone with me?

Not really. Sometimes people aren't sure if they were giving the right answer or not, and "hope I helped" shows that they were sincerely trying. Or they just want to be nice and make it a little more personal. I say "good luck" a lot, it's kind of the same thing. As long as they give good advice, it doesn't really matter to me. They could try to spice it up a little bit. Like maybe: "I sincerely hope I was able to provide you with help."

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I need to to lose weight people keep telling me to diet and exercise but its not that easy even when i do do that i dont seem to lose any and when i do crunchs or situps i can never do them right HELP!!!!

You might be genetically overweight or you are actually losing fat but building up muscles. Muscles weigh something, too.

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I bought a shirt from Abercrombie today and washed it when I got home (I don't like how their clothes smell). Well, when I got it out of the dryer, I noticed that I accidently grabed a Large and it's wayy too big. I don't know if they'll let me exchange it since it's been washed. What do y'all think? I can't just forget about it becasue it was a 48 dollar shirt.

Don't return it. Think of the possibilities. You can wear a plain white shirt underneath it or you modify it via sewing machine...use your imagination and create a hot original look. Or you could wear it as a pajama shirt. *shrug* Or you could just try to return it without telling them that you washed it, but if they figure it out somehow and say you can't, well, it's not the end of the world. Try to take something sucky and make something awesome.

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What's the best kinds of women's deordorant that smells good? And don't say Lady Speed Stick, because I hateee that. Thanks.

Meh. I hate women's deodorant and stopped using it years ago. If you don't mind using men's, Axe is really good. I like men's scents so much better than women's and plus it actually works!! But if you're dead set on using women's, I can't help you. Sorry.

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how do you make out

I dunno. Ask God about it. I'm sure he will tell you how.

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=/ I suck at reading guys' actions, so.....

1) He sits next to my best friend in my Social Studies Class. So one day before class, I went over to talk to her, and he jumped, yes JUMPED up and RAN, yes, SPRINTED across the room, and started talking to his friend. Matter of fact, he practically leaves everytime I come near. I'm not mean to him or anything, and we get along well (just got aquainted about 2 1/2 weeks ago)

2) When I come late into class, he stares. Like the other day, I came in late, and he looked at me for about 5 minutes while I was explaining to the teacher.

3) He'll only talk to me if I say something to him. I don't think this means anything--a lot of my friends say he does that anyways.

=/ And he has a girlfriend. Or should say "groupie". She's VERY obsessed with him. I think he just gave in, (they were friends) and was too nice to know.

What do you guys think?

I don't think so. He's just a weirdo.

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so i heard that cocoa butter get rid of scars.. where can i get it and how much does it cost?

You can get it at the supermarket or drug store for a couple of bucks.

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I was just wondering if anyone had any cute but not lame costume ideas for Halloween?! I might be wearing it to school, cuz at my middle school we have this lame parade thing. So it has to be good!! I don't want to be scary!!!

Getting an early start, huh? Nothin' wrong with that. Here's what I could think of:

Snow White
or possibly a different Disney chick
a cat
Violet from "A Series of Unforunate Events"
Chi from "Chobits"
a bride
a 1980s person
a belly dancer/harem girl/genie in a bottle
a cheerleader
a faerie
a cute alien
a skunk
a pirate
um...a maid.
a fluffy chicken or duckling
a tree
a Rennaisance-era bar wench (that's what I'm gonna be unless I go with 1980s person)

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whats the average amount of minutes? 400?..500?..600? because i am getting a plan thats 600 minutes a month is that enough?

I'm not sure exactly but I do know that guys who have cell phones produce fewer sperm.

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All right. So this summer, I've had two loves.
-Let's call her "June". I met June online on a roleplaying game. I liked her, she liked me. We weren't going to get serious, I just loved to be around her. But I recently got permanantly banned from that game. I have no way to contact her at all. What do I do?
-Let's call her "Summer". I first met Summer in science class, and I just thought "Wow, she's a hyperactive freak." Then we became friends, and everyone thought she was flirting with me. We both denied that we liked each other. But then at the start of the summer I realized that I missed her and I really did love her. So then I told her that. And she said basically that she was really sorry, but she only liked me as a friend, etc. Then later after she got back from a vacation she told me she had been thinking about me the whole time she was on vacation (I was thinking about her the whole time, too) and she said that what she had previously said, she didn't know if it was true or not, she wasn't sure if she liked me or not. But I'm madly in love with her, and I'll do anything for her! Anything! I lost an hour of sleep last night due to thinking about her!
Then one day I looked on her website. Turns out, she had had a recent boyfriend who broke up with her because he hated her frequent spaz attacks. Well, I think she's funny when she spazzes, but whatever. This really didn't mean all that much to me... until I listened to my iPod. In the song "Break My Stride" (I don't know who the original is, I'm listening to AC Rock) there's a line "You look at me and you see your past. Is that the reason why you're running so fast?" And that got me thinking. Hm! Summer thinks about me and she remembered her other boyfriend who was her friend first, but then boyfriend, and now they're off speaking terms! Maybe she just doesn't want that to happen to me also! But her previous boyfriend obviously wasn't the real thing. I know that kid, and he's not the kind of guy who involves with true love. He's the kind of guy who just goes for the reputation, the street cred. I need to show Summer that this is the real thing... that I wouldn't break up with her, no way, no how... I know what love is, and I want to make her know the real thing too. Please, I'm so distraught whenever I think about her, I can't continue with my life! And never being able to talk to June again doesn't exactly help!

I'm sorry it was so long. I just really need help. And I've asked smaller questions, and some people have said that I can just pick up any girl that I want to based on my question, but I don't like anyone else. Just Summer, June, and Summer. Thank you SOOOOOO MUCH!

Oh my gosh, you're thirteen. If it doesn't work out with Summer, there will be plenty of other girls. Try not to be so desperate. Girls don't like that. Speaking from a female perspective, I read your question and want to slap you. Nothing against you, it's just...the desperation. It crawls under my skin and eats away at my bone marrow. You CAN continue with your life, it happens all the time. Didn't you see The Lion King? "The Circle of Life"? Do circles end? No, of course they don't. I know what you mean by keeping everything private. But I really don't think you're in love. Oh my gosh, how am I supposed to know how you feel?!?!?! Yes, you are in love, really!! Yeah, yeah. Where have I heard that before? Only every melodramatic lust-ridden teenager INCLUDING MYSELF says that kind of thing. Oh and definitely get over June. She's probably guy. An OLD guy. Ew. Just be a good friend to Summer, whatever happens will happen. If she falls for you and you go out then that's great, but if she doesn't...you'll most likely get over it with time and counseling. Anyways, I have to go read My Antonia. Best of luck.

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Does braces affect making out?? ive kissed my bf loads of times but he wants 2 make out n i really dunno how 2.. hes made out with tons of ppl i feel so stupid can someone give me some good advice?? I have braces btw.

I RATE EVERYONE 5'S!

It shouldn't make a difference. But warn him that a lot of food gets stuck in braces. If he doesn't have braces then it shouldn't be too dangerous, but if he does...they do get stuck together. And it's possible his tongue might get stuck in your braces. Hopefully such a humiliating experience will only bring you closer together. You can laugh about it when you tell the story to your children (that you have with him).

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is it wrong to be jelous of your stepfather when he gets expensive presents for his birthday and you dont

It's not wrong, but it's a bit immature. Especially if you're expecting presents on his birthday! That's a joke, but to be serious, I would try not to be so jealous. Unless your mom and stepfather lock you in the closet and feed you table scraps once a week, just be thankful you're living. There are more important things than expensive stuff.

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I am 15 year old male, gay, and attending High School. In the past year, I've come to terms with who I am and I've come out to 2 of my friends. My huge problem is that nobody my age comes out of the closet so I am going to be single for a while. I am despretely lonely and wanting someone to sweep me off my feet. I just feel so deprest and want to have a boyfriend like all the other straight couples have where you love each other and understand each other and comfort one another. My problem is that there is this guy that I like but he has no clue I exist. I think that he is gay. The signs are that he is in tennis, went to tennis camp and is trying out for the tennis team, is in drama class, his eyebrows look plucked, he looks well made up and his hair is curly and conditioned, he is fit, and all his friends are strangely attractive. I also see the way he looks at guys and can kinda tell. I really want to become friends with him so that I can be around him and be happy and possibly get him to come out to me and maybe even become my boyfriend but I don't know how to go up to him and become his friend. It's like I can't just walk up to him and say hey what's up because we don't know each other so I was thinking of bringing up tennis because I've started taking lessons and stuff and I'm going to try out for the team just so I can be there with him and possibly go to his camp and get closer to him. I just don't know how to become his friend or how to talk to him. What should I do?

Erm. Because he plays tennis that makes him gay? Honey, you should know better than to stereotype people like that! Think about yourself! Do you speak with a lisp and have a natural skill for interior decorating and dressing well? Do girls love to go shopping with you? I know plenty of gays, bi's and transgendered people. I myself am bi. And none of us fit those stereotypes. Become his friend like you would with any other person. And if he's gay and you end up going out, that's awesome. But be prepared, because he might not even be, let alone romantically interested in you. People are multi-dimensional. Love of tennis and plucked eyebrows do not a homosexual make. There are probably a lot of gay people at your school. Most in my school are. Others are, but just don't know yet. In fact, lots of people will show "homosexual tendencies". That's because, like I said, people are multi-dimensional. But I really should stop talking about that, I don't want to bore you with an essay about human sexuality. Actually I do, because it would be fun for me, but I'm not going to. Is there a Gay Straight Alliance at your school? It's not a dating service, but you can meet people there. And just talk to people everyone you meet. By the way, if you're not into the goth scene...my suggestion is to get into it. It's not always like this, but generally speaking goths tend to be more accepting of different sexualities. But you don't have to if you don't want to. It's not for everybody. But anyways, really...just talk to everyone! Make friends with people! You never know what a friendship could lead to. Even talk to hot, heterosexual girls. They might have a gay brother. Also, like goths, girls are generally accepting of gay boys. Oh yeah, and don't do the tennis thing just for him! Do tennis because you like tennis. But if you don't like tennis, don't change yourself for someone else.

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me and my ex have been broken up for 5 months now but I cant seem to get over him.
We happen to have a class together and we sit next to eachother (seeting chart). Well we didn't talk the first week we were in that class then on Friday he started talkin to me. And ever since then we've been flirting. I know that we will not get back together, but he confuses me sometimes because he starts the flirting at times. Then we both happen to have 1st lunch and there's this girl who is all over him and that when I first experienced jelousy, I wanted to rip her face off and smash whatever is left on the ground. I don't like to feel jelousy because I want to get over him. I just dont know what to do.

You will get over him, I promise. You just miss what you had. When he flirts, tell him "Don't talk like you're my boyfriend. We'll never be together again." And jealousy is quite normal. Just don't actually rip her face off and smash whatever is left on the ground. If she really is "all over him", that's her business, she can make herself look like a prostitute if she wants. If he's all over her as well, then he's a jerk and he'll dump her too. Please forgive my assumption that you were dumped, that may very well not have been the case. Though it's normal to miss him and feel jealousy, you're right, after five months it is time to move on. Try doing something else in your life, like walking or gardening or writing. Anything to keep your mind off of him. Maybe you could try dating again, but you're probably not ready for that and it isn't fair to whoever you date that you're still thinking about your old boyfriend. But you can go on group dates with friends, that's always fun. And who knows...one of your friends might bring along a single guy who will make you totally forget the old one. Life goes on, sweetie. Go with it. =)

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my mom keeps telling me to do chores like take out the trash, do the dishes, and other stuff.but when i ask her to help she says it's not her job. so i ask then what is your job. and she says to be the mom. and so after that she orders me to do the dishs. and i say you do them. and she says you have to earn your keep. and so i say you dont earn your keep you dont even have a job. so i get grounded. why sould i work when my mom dos'nt. i dont think i was put on this planet to do dishes. and im not her robot. but i dont wanna be grounded. should i alpolage and destroy my pride or should i hold my feet down and stay grounded.

sorry it was so long.
i'll rate a 5 no matter what

Dude, she gave birth to you! She changed your diapers, too. She probably goes to work all day, too, which is WAY stressful. And she's old. Old people get tired easily. Sure, I don't agree that you should be doing everything. My mom does work around the house just as much as I do. Even so, that's the way your mom is and you have to accept it. Someday you'll be out on your own (and probably wish you had her), but not right now so just toughen up and do the dishes. Trust me, she could be doing stuff to you that's a thousand times worse than making you do chores.

EDIT: Please don't just give me a five because I responded. I like to feel like I earn my fives, so if you must give me one do it because I had stellar advice. Thanks.

I'm just responding to your feedback, though I doubt you'll read this. I was also a C-section baby. It still counts as her giving birth. And what about the months that she had you in her womb? That should count for something too. But I digress. She should get a job, and just because you don't care about changing diapers doesn't mean that other people don't find it horrifyingly disgusting.

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Somebody please ready this..
--Okay, welp me and 3 of my friends were on the street next to my house one day. it was about 1:30 am and a cop pulled up to us. He asked us if we knew where this one guy lived becuase he supposedly robbed a beer distributer. We told him and then he asked us for our names, so we gave him them also. Then i went home and thought nothing of it. My mom has a scanner in the house though and i was listening to it..It said my name and my friends' names' and said they caught us out the bush drinking with beer that we robbed, and that they chased us, and had us held at the station untill our parents got us. NONE OF THAT is true AT ALL! He asked us for directions, thats it! My other friends heard this too over their scanners and they said "Well, why would the cops lie about that?" But they did and now my friends think bad things of us..What is there to do? is there any way we can get these cops in trouble??? :/

Get a good lawyer and give those cops what they deserve. You know that your mom will back you up, cause she'd obviously know if she had to go down to the station and get you.

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Ok, I was just wondering what color eye liner you thought would go well with me. I have blue eyes most of the time (they change) And brown hair but not really dark. And also blonde high lights. Plz help

It's kind of hard to tell without looking at you. Your skin tone and what clothes you wear make a difference, too. You'll just have to try different things and ask people how you look, and judge for yourself by looking in the mirror (though most of the time, other people will notice different things than you). As for putting it on straight...well, you're just gonna have to be patient, just like anything else.

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