Let them continue through their pathetic annouying pattern, they'll get it soon. This is just weird insane love, you love them, then you don't, repeat 5,000 times. Your friend isn't really going to kill herself, thats obvious by now, and you and your best friend know that they're just going to get right back together, simple as that. Try doing something for yourself that will distract you from watching how many more times this will happen. Set a goal for yourself and pay attention to that instead.


-TheTeenGirl

You didn't blow it, your friend did. Its ok to be upset about a surprise you had planned and somebody shouted out about it. You are right, if your friend would have cared about everyone elses' feelings he wouldn't have even thought about it. Your friend honestly has no right to be angry with you, hes just mad because you're mad at him. You came off as a "bitch" because you wanted this to be a surprise, don't feel so bad, your anger is suppose to be there. Your friend needs to fix this, not you, hes the one who broke it. Hes just mad because he made a immature joke to ruin something and nobody cared to laugh, and it made him more angry that you didn't laugh either. I understand you want to fix this, but don't please him by saying, "Oh I'm so sorry [John], I was just being a bitch to you yesterday." You set him straight by saying, "I'm not going to be mad at you forever, but you ruined something that was important to me, so I'm not apologizing for acting the way I did." What you felt is right, your friends reaction was wrong.



-TheTeenGirl

This depends on his changes, if hes changed completley like good guy gone bad boy, then hes probably in the phase where being loved by the whole school matters gag. If hes changed like hes a jerk, then you need to talk to him,give him specifics about how hes changed. His hair, voice, walk, attitude, personality, appearance, every detail. Then tell him how much you loved him before he had changed and he was so perfect for you. You have to explain until you are out of words so he will know how much it affected you when he changed, and if hes still not willing to admit, or come back to the James you knew, then you will find a new perfect guy, and he will be even more perfect because he won't change on you like James did. But, make sure that you don't find yourself trying over and over, this guy isn't worth your time if hes has to be practicly forced to his old ways. Heck, he might even realize what hes done after losing you and come back to you, But don't expect too much, something tells me that he will change back.



-TheTeenGirl

Cool, happy national love day! lol.

I need for you to decide whether this is just a normal behavior of breaking up, or if this is her talking and actually planning on exactly how she will go about killing herself behavior. If shes just saying, "I want to die, I want to kill myself" then shes probably going through a phase because she probably really loved him. But, if you are really concerned that this might really happen, you should inform her parents immediatly. Actually, go ahead and do this, just incase, just tell them that shes having a hard time dealing with the break-up. Never leave her alone anywhere, just stay with her a lot, and hang out with her as much as possible. Maybe you could tell her how you felt about a break-up you had and how you coped. Also, keep asking her to tell you her feelings, talking to people about how you feel really helps. But make sure her parents at least know about this, you just never know.




-TheTeenGirl

Ask the coach the next time you see her to talk her into getting help. Sit down with her somewhere and say, "Listen, I know whats been happening to you, you know that you don't deserve this. It will be so much better if you take yourself out of this situation by trying to tell someone because you don't deserve it, you have no right to be beaten, I know you, you are a smart and very talented girl, your a good kid, you don't do bad things. And right now, you're doing a bad thing by letting this happen to you. I'm not going to make you tell anyone, I really want you too though, you've got to get this out of your way, it has to be hard to keep going through life like this." Comfort her as you tell her, because yelling or screaming will just make it feel like you're mad for her getting hurt, and you might hurt her if she doesn't do something, and you don't want that. But, if she doesn't tell anyone, then you're going to have to. Whether you think her reaction will be strong or not. You have to help her out of this mess, she can't do this on her own.




-TheTeenGirl

I am not for abortion either, so I'm not here to bash any of your beliefs. But, her having an abortion was probably a hard decision to make, and she is now probably carrying the guilt in her. I can understand you being angry, and not wanting anything to do with her, but it happened, she can't go back now. So, maybe its time to move on and just be her friend, that may be all she needs right now. Don't go and argue and tell her how much you hate abortion, she probably feels bad enough, so I think what she needs is your comfort and understanding, or someone elses, but you can stay away from her if you are that upset until you feel different. Besides, I think she'll probably have enough people on her tail about this situation. So, you don't have to be her friend, but don't comment on it, she may not want to be reminded of it. She just needs somebody now, I don't like abortions either, but what good will it do to stay mad at her? None. But, maybe the next time your friend or anyone is pregnant, assure them that it will be better to raise the baby, because having a baby at a young age does not make you any less thankful to have a kid like an adult does. My older sister has a baby and shes 17, and shes very happy with him even though he was not expected.



-TheTeenGirl

Read that statement that you wrote and tell me if this guy is even a bit more worth it. Nope. You better watch who you pick as your boyfriend, don't tolerate this kind of behavior from a guy. Thats the point of love, to make you feel good and to work through the bad times together. Don't let him say he hates you either, thats wrong too. If you keep letting this happen, your taste in guys are going to get worse.


-TheTeenGirl

You should probably be over 16. Its a fact that teens who start end up pregnant a year later, even if protection is used, but always being on the pill and the condom decreases your chances. But, I'm sure there are the answers that say, "oh theres no age limit, it doesn't matter, its when you feel ready." Well, lots of us think we are ready for stupid things, like when we are about 13 having sex. Remember that.



-TheTeenGirl

I think they are concerned, not trying to pry in your personal life, they are loving, caring, and concerned friends. Basically the surgery IS your decision, but it wouldn't hurt to explain to your friend why you do want to or why you don't. Sometimes explaining to people how you feel is a release of stress and sadness if we have a lot in us.

If you still don't wish to tell them, at least explain to them that you are ok, and this whole knee surgery, and being around people who self destruct stresses you out, I know you want to help this cutter, but soon you are going to have to get your friend directed to adult help, helping her quit by herself makes it harder to quit alone itself, because you don't have much support when you are quitting, she needs her support system so she will feel the love shes got around her, obviously shes feeling like nobody cares by hurting herself. So you should probably get her to help, or you will make this quitting process slower or impossible.

Sorry for taking so long on that topic. But, you should tell your friends that you are only helping, and you just need their trust for now. You sound like a girl who needs someone to talk to, maybe you could try sharing your feelings, give it a shot, because you never know what you'll feel when you tell people your feelings. If you don't like it, then you don't have to do it anymore, but its always worth a try, you can start with the little things, like instant message talking, and then move on to the phone. You can even talk to me, I won't ask who you are, I'll just listen and try giving you all of the comfort I have, just inbox me if you want to try sharing your feelings.



-TheTeenGirl

When I was about 12, I thought I just sucked at math big time, I just thought, "I'm failing because its not my thing." But I proved myself wrong. I started to work hard, ask the teachers every question I had, I put all of my effort into it, and found myself happy with my grade. My thoughts changed about every subject in school that I thought I was bad at. It also changed the way I looked at myself. I knew that everything I felt insecure and bad about doing was possible for me to do the opposite of my bad thoughts. So basically what I'm saying is to put work into english from now on, not only that, but everything else too, but tell yourself confidently, "I'm going to do well in english." And no matter how stupid you sound, and stupid you feel, ask all of the questions that you do not understand, if the embarressing thoughts are overwhelming you, do it after class, if this teacher is busy after class, warn him/her that you are going to try, but there were a couple of things you didn't get. And definetly keep your words and try, read the directions, and just try, even if you have no idea. Teachers like for you to come back with a finished homework assignment thats bad rather than a blank assignment because you didn't get it.



-TheTeenGirl

Let it pass, kicking peoples' butts over words only makes you look stupid, and its only about asking some girl out. Maybe you could confront the rumor, but that would probably make you angry in a sense and people who spread rumors aren't going to care about that persons feelings'.



-TheTeenGirl

Don't you even think about it. She is a minor and you are an adult! There is a HUGE difference between minor and adults, you find someone your own age and keep your hands off of her or you will find yourself in jail you big pervert. If you believed so powerfully in God, you would not have even cuddled her like that. You better wake up right now and realize that she is 14, 6 years younger, thats like dating a baby, she is a baby compared to you! She is so underaged that this makes me so angry, I bet you aren't even going to take anyones advice stating what an idiotic decision you are wondering about. You're just going to think with your body part and date her, so you shouldn't have even asked, you're going to find yourself in jail hopefully.

[You put "I havn't dated." Just because you want to just call her your little girlfriend it doesn't make it anymore right.]

-TheTeenGirl

This really should not be your job to keep her awake. Ask her parents how you should keep her awake, they should help you, this isn't just your problem. Sorry for the short answer, this is the parents problem.




-TheTeenGirl

Communication is my solution, hes a shy guy, so be a brave girl and start talking to him, that way you won't have to keep staring at him in mystery of whether he likes you or not. Don't ask him, but just go up to him and say something like, "long day huh?" Or something like that. But don't give up if he answers with just, "yes" and then walks away. Thats probably him being shy.



-TheTeenGirl

Teacher crushes are normal, know this. But, theres not much you can do except to just pay attention to your school work, and keeping your grades up. We know that not seeing him anymore isn't an option, but if you just take your mind off of him and onto something that will distract you, then you'll be ok.


-TheTeenGirl

Some guys will call girls a "bitch", because they are too immature for them. Think about when you guys were friends, did YOU think you were a bitch? Answer yourself honestly, don't say yes because he said so, think hard. If you were, then you should goup to him and say, "hey, I know we aren't friends anymore, but I'm really sorry for the way I acted towards you, and I miss that connection we had, and it sucks that I had to ruin it." Now, you said he wasn't the "lets sit down and talk about this" guy, and thats ok, you can write him a note, phone him, or just say it to his face and walk away. He may take you back as a friend maybe after thinking it over. If you know that you were not a bitch, then he needs to get over himself, you don't owe him an apology or anything if that turns out to be the case. I guess another way to just "show it", is to maybe have your friends just hang out with him and maybe have them tell him how nice you are to people. If he doesn't take you back as a friend, then thats too bad I guess, but if he can't forgive you, thats his loss, remember that.


-TheTeenGirl

Go somewhere quiet, and say, "I need you to listen to me, I don't want you to say anything until I'm finished, ok? [Travis], your a really great guy, and you're fun to hang out with, and I am truly flattered that you'd like me this way. But, I love you more when we are friends, I don't really see you the same now that we are dating. I think I'd feel more comfortable to stay as really good friends." Now, at this point, he will probably will be hurt, but don't force the friendship on him. Hes probably going to be angry too. Also, he will need to take a few days away from you, just try to accept this. Its alright to feel bad, but don't harm yourself or put yourself down in any way. You are doing the right thing, ending it when there are no feelings there. Thanks for asking!



-TheTeenGirl

Its definetly not nice at all to keep this relationship going while not liking him while hes having his obsession with you and while you're flirting with other guys. So, basically you should end it, because he needs to start the process of getting over you. Trust me, you'll feel better breaking his heart rather than being in this relationship. Anytime I wanted to break up with a guy, I never had guts, so my friends did it for me. I still think this is an ok thing to do, because then he doesn't have to deal with that akward yet depressing moment of you going to his face. You weren't cheating, but its still wrong to flirt with other guys while in a relationship period. It hurts peoples feelings. So makev sure that you still to flirting with that guy once you find him.




-TheTeenGirl

I think its great that you've set yourself a goal to not cry over guys, but thats a very hard promise to yourself to keep, especially when you are 14. Dating around when you are a teenager just flat out sucks. You've got to find someone who you are into, and whose into you, you have homework and school aside from less dating and hanging aroubd them, you have to stick with your friends, and then on top of that, you have your family. Anyway, now that I've got that out of the way, basically you should get over him, it would be better for you, hes treated you wrong, move on from him. Peoples minds and hearts' change a lot during these ages. One minute you love him, the next minute you see another guy you like. Everyone changes, and it sucks. I know you see no possiblity in getting over him, but if you really find that possibility, that is your key to get over him faster. But telling yourself you aren't good enough and you're too in love will make this process much slower, and most likely won't happen. Ask your friends to help you get over him, they can help!



-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

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