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Help me please!!!
Ok well there is this girl that i go to gymnastics with and she has been coming to gym with bruises and marks all over her legs. I've asked her many times to tell me what happend and she told me 'nothing!' and i keep asking her the same question and even the coaches ask her and one time the coach asked her if she fell and she said 'yes' but then she told me she lied to him! I think her parents might have abused her because shes very quiet and timid and if u tell her not 2 tell anyone, SHE WONT!(even my dad thinks so) I'm really scared for her so please help! How can i make her tell me the truth?
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You just might be jumping to conclusions, but if she is being abused you need to help her. Talk to her, comfort her, just confront her about it. Hopefully she'll do the right thing and tell you.
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Tell her you can help her if she tells you the truth. if you dont like it you can get them to stop by just telling sombody. If your her friend she should tell you juss ask her .
Ryan....
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What sort of marks are they? They're obviously big enough to attact your attention, but are they cuts/bruises on her knees, shins, or other 'hard' areas? It can be easy to scrape these areas, but on 'soft' areas - like the back of the legs or thighs - it's much harder to casually cause injury.
You and your coach are both worried about her. Unfortunately, you can't make her tell you the truth. You do need to talk to a responsible adult - perhaps starting with your coach. You can tell him/her that your friend admitted to lying to the coach, and just explain that you are very concerned.
You can also talk some more to your dad. Anybody can call the Family and Child Protection Services to voice concerns or ask questions. If your friend is being abused, she might feel she doesn't have the choice about telling someone - you might have to do it for her by talking to your father or someone else you trust.
Of course, your friend might not be being abused. But it's worth the risk to openly share your concerns with an adult, as if there IS abuse happening it needs to stop.
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Try not to jumo to conclusions, especially if you are in gymnastics.Its a rouogh sport, don't push it, that could make thing worse. If she wants to talk, she'll come to you
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Tell the coach she lied to him. Teaches have to turn in suspected cases of child abuse by law. If he thinks he has enough to do so, he will get her help. Help him out by telling him what you know.
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First of all don't push her to tell you, that makes her feel scared that you might hurt her too if she is being abused. Let her come to you and just let her know that she can talk to you about anything and you wont freak out about it but you'll try to help as much as you can.
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You may be right that she is being abused, but she needs to feel comfortable before she can talk about it with you, or anyone. Right now, the "trouble" she would get into for talking is much more scary, than dealing with the abuse. Do you know anyone else who has been abused, that she can relate to? Someone who has successfully over come it? If you gain her trust, then I think she will open up to you, but if you are right and she is being abused by her parent(s) then she has a problem with trust. She will find it very hard to trust anyone. Try validating her feelings. Tell her that you know she is scared. You know that she feels she is to blame, (because they/he/she tell her that. And that you know she probably feels like sh*t. Tell her you will help her only if she permits it, then when she opens up to you, and you know the truth, and that she is being abused, convince her that telling about it is the best course she can take. Please be sure that you know what you are doing. People who abuse people weaker than them, are capable of anything. It may take some time, but keep at it. It is worth it. You are a good person. Don't get discouraged, but also be patient.
Michele
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The best thing to do would be to inform a social worker at the school. Its good to keep your friends secrets but when their health is on the line you need to be there for them and speak out to someone who can do something about the situation.
The social worker/guidance counselor/or a teacher you get along with well .... Will most likely confront her and hopefully get her help.
I can speak from experience, being abused isn't something that is fun. It needs to stop. Be the friend she will love forever even if she hates you in the begining.
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Ask the coach the next time you see her to talk her into getting help. Sit down with her somewhere and say, "Listen, I know whats been happening to you, you know that you don't deserve this. It will be so much better if you take yourself out of this situation by trying to tell someone because you don't deserve it, you have no right to be beaten, I know you, you are a smart and very talented girl, your a good kid, you don't do bad things. And right now, you're doing a bad thing by letting this happen to you. I'm not going to make you tell anyone, I really want you too though, you've got to get this out of your way, it has to be hard to keep going through life like this." Comfort her as you tell her, because yelling or screaming will just make it feel like you're mad for her getting hurt, and you might hurt her if she doesn't do something, and you don't want that. But, if she doesn't tell anyone, then you're going to have to. Whether you think her reaction will be strong or not. You have to help her out of this mess, she can't do this on her own.
-TheTeenGirl
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i dont think you can make her tell the truth but you can go to the Councler/police/child abouse and tell them what the problem is and all shes told you. I cant belive that out of all the questions people has asked me and all of the things that the same thing has happend to me this is a problem that only my friend has well neways i went to the police because every day during our swimm meet she would come with at least 1 or more scratches or bruises on her arms and legs. i would ask her and she said it was nothing but then she lied about it to the swim instructor and thats when i went to th police about it and it turens out that her dad was abusive and she thanked me for going to the police for help she has allways said how shw wished she could never see her dad again now every day for the last year she has came to school with a smile on her face
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You have to explain to her that you are her friend and that she can tell you anything. If she is being abused, it should be reported immediately. Ask her if there are problems at home and if one of her parents hit her, she needs to tell someone about it. Usually children being abused think it's their fault when it's really not. Tell her it's not her fault at all and she needs to tell the truth before it gets worse. xo
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