I've been dating this girl for a while now and I think I want to marry her. She's a very adventurous girl who likes to try new things. That's part of what I love about her.
Early in our relationship she told me about a threesome she had with with two guys. She said she didn't like it very much but given an opportunity wouldn't rule out trying it again. But stated had no interest in doing that kind of thing with me because she loved me and wouldn't want to ruin things. On top of this she's had sex with a fair amount of guys, 10-15, she hasn't been sexually active that long.
I have no reason to distrust her in our relationship and she's always been faithful to other boyfriends. I can appreciate that, I've had sex with quite a few women but have always been faithful, along with a three some myself.
I love her to death but it really eats me up inside. I just feel like that's such a slutty thing to do. We've talked about it and I explained how I feel about it but I avoid discussing it further because I don't want to beat a dead horse. She acknowledges it wasn't her best moment and understands how I feel.
I understand:
-Much of this is my own insecurities
-Doesn't mean I can't trust her
-There is a double standard, guys get laid, girls give it up
-Her past is her past
-I should "just get over it"
-The adventurousness is why I love her
I just don't know how to "get over it" it really eats me up but I don't want to have this ruin our relationship because I harbor these feelings of resentment.
Someone please help!
Hmm, this is something I have heard before from friends and such about their girlfriends but as you had stated in your question, you have also done pretty much the same things yourself so I usually tell my friends that they are in no position to judge someone’s past anymore than they are in a position to judge theirs.
However, this said I know myself how it can eat away at you (I had gone through the same phase with my ex girlfriend as well) but truth be told sometimes you never really 'get over it'. You just have to live with it.
If she is everything you want in a person (which I guess she is if you are considering marrying her) then her past isn't something that you should allow to get in the way of what you have in the now and what you can both build for yourselves in the future. This kind of issue is the kind of thing that Christina Aguilera confronted in one of her track (Cant Hold Us Down I believe). How if a guy sleeps with a lot of girls it's considered cool but if a girl does it she's called a slut or a whore.
These are just insecurities within yourself that you need to conquer. It may take time but try placing yourself in her place. She could very well feel the same resentment towards you for the things in your past. If every person did this then there is no hope for any relationship ever working out unless every person remains celibate until their wedding night (not something I can see happening to be honest).
Forgive me for being blunt, you need to leave her past where it is - in the past, and focus on what you have with her now. Do you really want to ruin what you have over something she did (and you have done too) in the past but is something you can't let go of because you maybe can't stand knowing that she has been with guys other than you?
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ok my computer had imvu before but then my comp got a virus like many months after i got imvu but...imvu was very slow on my computer anyways i tried downloading again once i got the whole computer cleaned out and there is this little popup that says its a corrupted file, a failed download or a virus.. i have a better virus program now so maybe it IS a virus...please help and tell me what it is or might be and what can i do?
I have been using IMVU for a very long time now (almost when it was first introduced when developer accounts on there were free) and have had no problems with the installation files being loaded with any virus or otherwise harmful software. Some virus scanners can give back false results (this happens a lot with Norton and Mcafee, both of which I have used/use). There are a number of online scanners which are very helpful in this matter. http://www.virustotal.com/en/indexf.html for example is very good when you need a second opinion on suspicious files and it is free (there is a 10mb limit on the files you send them though).
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I was listening to Talk SEx with Sue Johanson, I only caught the ending about the venus butterfly, could someone explain just what it is, or what was she said.? Sunday, March 25th
When relating to sex the venus butterfly can be two different things. It can be a sex position used when performing oral sex on a female as well as it being the name for a popular female sex toy.
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Ok so i like this boy and his name is Justice! i am madly in love with him but he has a girlfriend he is madly in love with. I wanna brake them up but he loves her almost as much as i love him (which is saying alot). he said if they ever brake up he'd go out with me. but recently he told me he thinks of me as a sis! i am so sad and don't know if they brake up if he would go out with me ! i don't want to ask him again cause he might get mad! What do I do?
I think he pretty much already told you how he left about you - he thinks of you as a sis. In which case trying to break them up would be pointless. Would you be able to live with yourself knowing you broke them up just so you could have him? If you put her in your place how would you feel if someone came in between you and someone you really loved and deliberately broke you both up? More to the point you need to ask yourself what will happen if you did break them up and he found out you were responsible? How would it make him feel about you? For now he sees you as a sis but after finding out something like that (considering how much he loves her) would he be able to forgive you? There's never a simple answer in situations like these - there's always a lot to consider. It is strange however that he said if he ever broke up with his girlfriend he would go out with you but then said he sees you as a sis. That part is confusing so that might be something you could ask him to clarify so you know where you stand. Once you know that you can decide what the next step is from there.
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I'm a 13 year old female,I'm 5 foor 7 inches and I weigh 122 pounds and I'm not fat (pretty muscley and tiny bits of flab in small amounts) I eat A LOT of food in a meal and snack when I feel a lil hungry (a chocolate here,a banana there) I take vitamin C,D Omaga 3 6 and 9 essentials and a multiy vitamin for wemen.I am pretty healthy.
Breakfast : careal or a blueberry beagl if any breakfast.
10 A.M. break : dunk-a-roos,yogurt,animal crackers
Lunch : Ham or chicken w/ cheese and mayo sandwitch,juice box/water bottle
Supper : A meat (beef chicken pork),with rice,potatos,fries or something and pop or juice or water.usually big double portions
Sorry this is so long but my question is do you think this is healthy ?Also I have a fast matabalisum.
To me it sounds like a fair diet (mine is similar but I won't list it here) but remember healthy eating is only part of the chain. Its link is exercise. As long as you are getting exercise as well you shouldn't need to worry yourself at all. Also bare in mind that you are still very young and your body is still developing and growing so it will go through changes. When it comes to healthy eating however, especially at your age, I would suggest a chat with your GP as he/she would be able to better advise you if you are concerned about hat you eat.
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Okay so, I'm not extremley overweight but I am "chunky". I feel like the only reasons I've yet to find anyone is because I'm fat and ugly. I cant really change what I look like, I'm getting plastic surgery for my dark circles but my mom wont let me get anything else done. And as for my weight problem, I've been on diets and I lose 30 lbs just to gain it all back again. I'm 17/female and have never been kissed...it makes me laugh when I think of a guy ever wanting to be that close to me. I'm surrounded by 100 lb beautiful girls everywhere I go, do I have to just lose the weight if I ever want to be happy?
First and foremost if you wish to lose weight then you should do so for yourself, not for anyone else (including just to get guys to find you attractive), it makes a big difference when you are doing it for yourself. I also say this because if a guy will only like you for how you look on the outside then it's a guy who will never really appreciate you for who you are - just for what you look like. Don't think that you are ugly. I've known a lot of girls of all colours, sizes and ages and have never found any to be ugly. There have been some I have found attractive and others I have not found attractive but never ugly. You are not ugly either. As for the diets you are on, the secret is to maintain the diet. It is the biggest problem whenon a diet. Many people lose weight only to pile it back on again because they drifted back into their older habbits. Being depressed is also a cause of this so please try not to get yourself depressed. Honest to God truth, if it makes you feel any better, I had never had my first kiss until I was 23. :D So imagine how I had felt.
To answer your question, it would depend if you are unhappy with your weight then go on that diet (maybe even seek professional advice on dieting as it would help a great deal) and do it for yourself. But I don't think anyone has to be a 100lb girl just to be happy. I hope that I was some help.
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im 15/f/ny to make a long long story short, theres this guy who i liked and then i didnt like him and when i didnt he asked me out and i said no but then when i realized when i couldnt have him i wanted him and then i fell in love. we were getting to be close friends and then he had no choice and had to move to florida which is 1300 miles away from ny =[ i havent seen him in 7 months but i talk to him online and myspace ect. hes coming back to visit in the summer. i really wanna be with him but im afriad it wont work out =[ what shoujld i do!? any suggestions or help i can get! please help me
signed helpless
As you have said, he is 1300 miles away and that in itself may pose a problem unless you are able to live with a long distance relationship and you can trust him (and vice-versa). It's true that sometimes you have to act or you may lose your chance and you may have already lost that chance when you turned him down the first time round. The thing you may want to ask yourself is if you both did hook up would it be something that would last longer than just a summer fling (after he goes back to Florida) and if it is just a summer thing, would you be able to handle that? I can't tell you what you should do because that is something you will have to decide for yourself when the time comes but these are just the few things you may want to consider when deciding.
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13/f. There is this boy D, I really like him and apparently he knows. He has this really good girl friend named M. I cannot stand her. They went out once this year. My two guy friends told me the saw her kiss him and he denied it when I asked him. So whenever hes all on me I don't want his face to touch me cause I told him I didn't like M. I really want to go out with him though. How should I ask him?
Before asking him out you may also want to consider that he may have lied to you about hat his friends told you. In which case the question would be if he is (maybe) lying to you now before you both are going out what are the chances he could do so when you are both going out? Would you be able to trust him once you're both together even if he is around his friend M? Or would you want him not to be friends with her anymore? There are a lot of things here you need to ask yourself before you consider it but overall if you want to ask him out then a good start may be to ask him if he feels the same about you (as you do about him) and just go from there.
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i fell in love with this guy 3 years ago but at the time that we fell in love, he had to move. and one of my good friends alex is pissed at me because im in love with ryan. ryan can be an ass to me sometimes but hes what makes me happy. not to get into details cause we'd be here all night if i did, but my life is pretty screwed up. basically, how can i get alex to see that ryan is what makes me happy? ryan is the reason that im still here. how can i get alex to realize that?
Truth of the matter is that there is no real way you can make him see how much you love Ryan. Furthermore, Alex may be a good friend but you shouldn't need to prove or justify yourself to anyone about who you love. If he has a hate for him then no matter how hard you try to prove it to him he will not listen anyway but the way I see it you shouldn't need to prove it in the first place to him or anyone. If he doesn't like him then that is his own opinion but forcing own opinions on others is never a good idea.
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my boyfriend and me broke up 3 weeks ago and i have been finding it hard, he has sexual footage....lot's of me and him he says he will expose me and finish my life, what should i do?
24/f
I totally agree with WhenIComeAround. He is attempting to threaten you with blackmail which is illegal so tell him if he goes through with his threats you will have no problems with taking the matter to the police. If he does do it or continues to persist in threatening (even if it's just to see how far he can push you or to see if your bluffing him) go to the police and talk to them about it.
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I dont know what the problem is but i smell really really bad *down there* its disgusting, i'll like open my legs in class or something and this big scent'll come up, its disgusting!! ive never been fingered or anything because it smells so bad. is there anything that will take the scent away. i shower and clean *down there* EVERYDAY. but should i like put something in it?! please help :(
I agree with boko369. This sounds like an infection so you should speak to your doctor about it and they'd be able to help. If your doctor is a male doctor then request to speak to a nurse if you feel uncomfortable talking to a male doctor about this.
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i am not into ny one at the moment but i cant seem to find ny one suitable for me i want to have a boyfrend and be happy but it is happening :(:(
A boyfriend is the wrong place to look for complete happiness. It can be a part of your happiness but attaching such a strong emotion to a boyfriend can be disasterous if a relationship with that guy doesn't work out. I do understand how you feel though, I have been single now for over a year and a half now.
If there is not anyone you are into at the moment then you can't really force yourself to like someone because it just doesn't work that way but saying that no one is into you may not be true. There may be someone out there who likes you but is not able to say so because they are shy or afraid of what you might say. All I can really say is just give yourself time - a guy will come along for sure, that much I can promise you. :)
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Do Voice Comments show up on the phone bill? I know they are free, but do free calls show up on the phone bill? lol
and can the person who recieves your voice call get the phone number from where the call was made? like does the number appear anywhere?
just want to know before i make one to a friend lol
I can only comment on the phone bills here in the UK (via BT) which are itemized and generally include a listing of all calls made including any free ones. If you are in the USA I'm afraid I can't say.
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Please, if you could: list the most optimistic song you know.
Baz Luhrmann - Everybody´s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
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I've been going out with this guy for a little bit; a few days ago we hung out and he said he'd call to plan something out for today (Sunday). He didn't call the past few days, neither have I..but he just left me a message that he might have to cancel plans.I can't go out today..but I don't have a good feeling about this- he hasn't kept in touch for a few days, and now he's cancelling. I just have a feeling that I shouldn't make a big deal about him, that he just takes me for granted.
What do you think about all of this? In case it matters, I'm 22. F.
Unfortunately the sad truth is some guys do take their partners for granted and don't really comprehend what they have lost until it's gone (which is why many guys always come crawling back). It may just be that he has been busy with work (if he does work) and since tomorrow is the start of the working week he may have decided not to go out for that reason (early night and such). I think the best course of action would be to talk to him about it. Since this is a problem that is affecting your relationship with him as well as bringing up doubts about you both being together I think you have the right to know if something is wrong or if you are wasting your time in a relationship that will not go anywhere.
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Ugh, I've been a level 1 foreverrrr. How can I go up?
You'll find the answer for this in the FAQ section. Here's a link directly to the answer for you though. :)
http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=69
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I sorta like this guy at my school who is younger than me and is a Sophmore and I'm a Junior,& he plays varsity baseball. I've just been getting over a guy and starting fresh anew. I don't want to get used or my feelings hurt again.. Just about every guy has hurt my feelings, mostly liking me and then turning around and liking someone else or leading me on. I'm scared to try again about this one.He's in my lunch, and I've already talked to a mutual friend about him like asking him his name so he told me. This guy Frank* gives my eye contact, and looks at me, but I usually don't look at him when I see him looking at me. Any takes or suggestions on how to start talking to him?.
A subtle approach may be to glance up and smile back at him when you notice that he is looking at you. Chances are that the mutual friend may even have told him that you were asking about him so he may already know you like him and it's just a matter of someone making the first initial move. Then you could pop over and say hello and talk to him (you both have a mutual friend so that may be a good place to start) or better yet (if you prefer the indirect approach) ask your mutual friend to introduce you both sometime to each other. It may be the best way for you both to initially start talking to each other and for you to start getting to know him better.
As for getting hurt, I'm afraid that's something that comes with the territory. :( There's always the chance that things will not work out. I think Bertrand Russell said it best when he said, "To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
I wish you the best of luck with him and I really do hope you won't have to go through another bad relationship.
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i am in the 8th grade and i really like this guy who is in my class. we have been going to school together scince kindergarten. He got out of a really bad relationship like a year ago and hasn't liked a girls scince. he always gives me mixed signals its driving me nuts. I am really bad at telling some1 i like them cause it hasn't worked out before and i am scared i will lose a friendship. please help what should i do?
It's always hard to tell someone you like them (I'm the same too) especially when there's a chance they may not feel the same. Thing is if you don't say something what if someone else comes along and beats you to it? Would you be content with having missed your chance of letting him know you like him? The worst that can happen is he will not feel the same way. Just let him know if he doesn't feel the same it's okay and you still want you both to be friends and don't want him hating you but you wanted to be honest with him and tell him how you feel. If he is one of your friends I think he should respect that you had it in yourself to tell him (I certainly would be as it does take a lot of guts to do).
Try not to let what's happen in the past cast a shadow over you in the now either. When it comes to love and relationships it always works on the principles that it will be or it won't. Don't let fear hold you back. Good luck with him and I certainly hope he does feel the same way about you as well. :)
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so, my friend "Lucy" and i hang out together alot with other people. sometimes she cant go to things or i do something without her but i dont make her feel bad, i try not to make a big deal out of it (even if it was super fun) in an effort to not make her feel left out. yet, i got groudned last night, so i couldn't go to this one thing with lucy and my other 2 friends. well i talked to the other 2 friends after and they were like oh it was good but we missed you, we just talked and watched a movie. then lucy of coursse has to make a huuuge deal out of it, saying it was like the best night and how fun it was and like trying to make me feel super left out. of course, the ONE night im not there it's the BEST NIGHT EVER. and it's not like this is the first time it happened, she ALWAYS does that when i'm not there and im SICK OF IT.
i dont know hwat to do. should i give her a taste of her own medicine in the future? but im not like that. should i just let it roll of my shoulders? it makes me angry though. i dont know what to do or why she does this.
Be the better person and don't play her game - wouldn't be worth it really and you seem better than that anyway. Just don't let it bother you and it'll eventually stop when she sees that it has no effect on you. :) As for why she does it, that part I have no idea about. It may just be a matter of her not realising she is doing it. Sorry I couldn't give a more indepth reply though.
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Hey im a 13/f and i have a boyfriend who is really nice and i love him to death but the thing is when we are on the phone he always talks to me and he is super nice and shares feeling with me and understands me but at school he pays absulootly no atention to me like he'll talk a little bit and hug me but when he talks to me he just says hi. And he shouldn't be embarised to talk to me im one of the populars and everyone know's we are dating so can you help??
Love,
Need's more atention!!!
It sounds to me like that is the problem, that he may be embaressed or something of the sort because he is around his friends or people who may see you both and talk about it. It does seem like a worry that is unjustified though because as you had said, everyone in your school knows you both are dating.
My advice would be to try talk to him about this. Since he seems more open with you on the phone that may be a good start and you can tell him he is making you feel unwanted like he is embaressed about you at school because he seems to pay no attention to you. See what he says and see if you can both hopefully resolve this. :)
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