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Pluto

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waterbender =D haha, I'm such a nerd.

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18

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July 7, 2005

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September 21, 2006

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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

how long does an orgasm last?

Orgasms are brilliant and wonderful and make you beautiful and as if you can do no wrong. Yet, I believe the orgasm is God's greatest RIPOFF. A splitting headache will last you HOURS, even with medicine, and that is too much for even the most extreme masochist. Yet an orgasm, one of the top ten most wonderful feelings in the world, comes and goes within 1-2 seconds! God's greatest ripoff, indeed!

hi everyone. I'm looking to get stronger, quicker, etc. I have decent armstrength (i'm 13 and i can throw a baseball 73mph) but i need to build up leg strength and lower torso strength any good exercises/ drills you can think of?

thanks

Maybe you feel the need to be physically strong because, deep down inside, you are actually very insecure and weak.

*hugs*

You don't need to make yourself perfect! Just do normal exercises like stretching, walking, weightlifting, and perhaps yoga or pilates. Just be healthy and love yourself...that is what matters. Do not try to make yourself something you are not.

Of course, if it REALLY matters to you, maybe you can get a book or ask a doctor? That's my best suggestion.

(by the way, I was kidding about the 'weak inside' bit. I'm sorry--I just can't resist being silly.)

can you change you're username.if you can please tell me. I'll rate 5 for real answers Cya

No...you will have to get a new account. That's what I did when I got sick of my old username.

i recently asked you about my vagina changing..

i had a rash last week, but im pretty sure that was frum razor burn. umm the outside of my vagina is a little red and a few spots i touch while whiping or anything are a little sensitive.

I'm pretty sure that's from shaving. Your period would not cause you a rash. Having unprotected sex will do that, and allergic reactions might as well. You may have used a tampon or a pad that had something in it you were allergic to. Check the box of whatever you used, and maybe you should stop shaving for a while and see if it keeps happening. If you keep getting rashes, you should definitely talk to a doctor.

I am always getting myself in incredibly embarassing situations. Not like "farting in public" or anything like that, more like a really bad rumor has been spread about me. Or I accidentally say something bad in class and I'm worried about what the teacher thinks. Recently, my dad said something really embarassing (something serious) about me to my English teacher, and it makes me cringe with worry. Nowadays, I spend all of my free time thinking that I've "blown it" with someone I know and stressed that I've ruined a connection with someone because of something that I accidentally said or did. I lose sleep over it. I feel terrible. I'm 13/f. What can I do? How can I make amends? Pleaaaase don't give me a smart-ass answer if you're the funny-type columnist. Generally I enjoy those kinds of answers, but this is really serious.

Oh, sweetie! This happens to EVERYONE! Trust me. What you have to do is learn to laugh at yourself! I realized this when I heard the following quote.

If you can laugh at yourself, you're going to be fine.
If you can allow others to laugh with you, you're going to be GREAT.~~Anonymous (acutally, I just forgot who wrote it *sheepish grin*)

Just try to remember that everybody gets embarassed and that you have to overcome it and move on.

I can tell you a couple of my embarassing moments, it might make you feel better.

1) I'm with my friend at the movies. The guy at the ticket counter asks if my friend wants one or two. I'm thinking that there's two of us so I automatically say "TWO!" really loudly. May not seem like a big deal but man did I get stares.

2) My dad wants to buy a coat for my mom for Christmas. We're at the leather store, and he's making me try it on...now I am not the FATTEST person in the world but I am plump, and he's going "Zip it up!" and I'm like "I can't." and he kept asking the girl to get bigger sizes. This was not in a dressing room--I was right there in the open!

Here's one of my mom's, as well. My dad was working out of state and would call us every day. One morning I answered the phone and said "HI DADDY!" and, lucky for me, it was him. I didn't even think that it could be someone else. My mom found this very amusing, so the next morning when she answered the phone she said "Hi Daddy." It was my teacher. How humiliating is THAT?!

I have a thousand times a thousand more. So you see, everybody has embarassing things happen to them.

My friend asked the guy I like what he thought about me.

He didn't really know her, he recognized her as my friend but didn't even know her name. But she was trying to talk to him and he just told her he needed his space and pushed her back saying "back up, we need to be this apart" and telling her not to get close, and she asked what he thought about me he didn't answer and just went with that "your getting to close" crap. So could someone tell me what this means???

Thanks so much!

I think it means that he is afraid of getting close to people!!

Wait, don't walk away. I'm being serious.

If he really did not like her standing that close, which is possible, then he really hates people being physically close to him. If physical touch is important to you in a relationship (I know it is to me! I couldn't not hug my boyfriend!) and this is the case with him, then he is probably not a good choice for you.

If it wasn't about her proximity, then he was hiding his feelings deep within himself. This is never a good thing to do because it bottles up. He may like you and not want to say it because he is afraid of getting emotionally close to someone. This is very common. Usually it is because the person is afraid of getting hurt. Many couples can work around this problem, or they get therapy.

In the end, I suggest you ask him out. Don't be afraid that he won't like girls doing the asking out. What is this now, the 21st century? Puh-lease. We need to rise above close-minded gender roles. If he says no for that reason, you don't need him. If he says no simply because he doesn't like you, well, OUCH...but you'll heal in time. If he says no because he really does have a problem getting close to people, just remember that it's HIS problem, not yours. If he says yes and has a problem getting close to people, you will have to work hard in your relationship but it will be worth it. And if he says yes and has no problems, you'll probably have a fun time. I'm not saying that it will last, but that's okay. You're meant to learn from relationships so you can apply your knew knowledge to the next relationship you're in.

Good luck, I hope that whatever happens works out well for you!

OK i'm watching a martha stweart show and why is she aways says it's a good thing?!??! Won't she eva shut up!?

I don't know anything about her other than she went to jail and she has Kmart products. I live in Total Martha Stewart Purity, and the way I have accomplished this is by not watching her on TV or reading anything she has written. Martha is merely trying to make money, that is why she tells you her opinion is right. Many people do this; you see it every time a commericial comes on for anything (cars, soap, washing machines, birth control, the army, etc.) This does not mean that what they say is the best thing. For instance, Toyota and Chevrolet both say that their cars are the BEST but they can't both be best! They are merely trying to exploit you. The only way to deal with this is to be blind to them--do not take everything they say as if it is the absolute fact. Think for yourself. If you don't like what Martha Stewart says, you can argue with her or ignore her. I suggest ignoring. The reason for this is because arguments only turn into fights and fights turn into WAR. If you ignore her, the way I have done all my life, you too will acheive Total Martha Stewart Purity. Soon you will find that the opinions of Ms. Stewart no longer matter to you and you will be able to focus on more important (and waaaay more fun) things like skateboarding, making scrapbooks, getting married, raising children, and eating french fries. So be happy--live in Total Martha Stewart Purity.

*reads it over and laughs*

That sounds like I'm trying to get you to join a cult!! I AM being serious though. If you don't like something, it's best to ignore it. Watching the show was your choice and your choice alone.

I have a friend who is verbally and physically abusive. She called me and my other friend a**holes for stupid reasons, and she just us both (hard!). She's been doing little things like that forever, like calling me an idiot or stupid, and maybe hitting me a few times. I could deal with that, but now she's gone way too far. I know that's not how a friend is supposed to act. She doesn't seem to know that her behavior is mean and immature.

I'm avoiding her, but I know I can't do that forever. What should I do?

Avoiding her was a good first step, now it's time to take action. You already know that she is abusive and abuse is AGAINST THE LAW. If you tell the principal or your parents or another trusted adult, action WILL be taken. Even though you don't like her now (understandable) you still care about her, don't you? If you tell someone, they won't just throw her in jail--they will give her therapy to try and heal her of these violent tendencies. So really you would be doing a wonderful thing for her.

i know when you have a - and a + you subtract nd when you have a - - or + + you add them but when you have a - + + does it equal a negitave or a postivite? and so my question is is a + plus + postive or negitave and when a - + - is the answer a negitave or a plue and when it's - + + is it a negitave or a positve. WILL RATE 5"S THANKS!

Okay, I'm not really sure what the question is because of all the - - + - + +. It looks like morse code. But I will try to answer it as best I can.

A positive plus a positive is a positive.
A positive plus a negative is a negative.

If you have -4 plus 5, it is the same thing as 5 minus 4. The answer is one!

A negative times a negative is a positive. So -6 x -6= 36!

A negative times a positive is a negative.

And of course a postitive times a positive is a positive.

Now that you've read all of that and practiced really hard to memorize it, I'm going to be mean and give you the EASY way.

I'm actually not being mean, it's just that I remembered it after I typed all of that up.

Ready?

Here it is:

If the signs are the same, the answer is +
If the signs are different, the answer is -

I really hope I helped!

I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you

It sounds really familiar, but I can't tell without a tune. I'm thinking Mr. Brightside by the Killers, but I'm probably wrong. Try looking it up on google! I've typed in a few lyrics of a song before and done a search, and they found the song!! It's amazing--just like magic! =) =) =)

Hey all.
I have a spanish teacher, and he is saying, doing and drawing things that offend me.

We learned the body parts in spanish, and sometimes he makes us stretch. Well one time he said "no for estomoigo" (i am horrible at spelling, and that means stumach) and he would like rotate his hips. like in a circle.

then recently we learned things to do, like dance,(bailar) and sing (cantar)
and he would to the actions and then we would have to say what it is outloud, and in spanish. He would go, "me favorito" (my favorite) and start to "dance" and he would like do like humping type things it was so wierd. and like push his but out like fast but slow at the same time(if that makes sence)

And then, this is what totally offends me. he will draw people, and they will be having a conversation in spanish. He will usually draw a rap singer, (a male) and then a "curvy" female.
Usually Jenifer Lopez or Beyonce. He draws them with extreme curves.
like:
| |
( )
| |
that middle pard would be like the hips. and its gross. he will write, like "bootielicious" as the guys responce,or something like that, and he says it sometimes.

My friend said today that she liked to run (correr) in spanish! and he drew a picture of her, and he made her have really short shorts, and said that she had really short shorts! I understand it because of running and all, but thats gross!!

Also, today we had a fire drill, and the alarm things were going off, and he kept saying "attencion a me, attencion a me,
attencion a me,attencion a me,attencion a me,attencion a me" (that means, give me your attention) and he would not let us leave! he always wants us watching him, creepy. and then he always blows a whistle! its soo annoying and he did that today!
I dont think that has much to do with sexual harassment, but it is dangerous!

If you need to know more, ask!

He is a really good teacher, but he is young, and a lot of the other girls find him attractive, but i dont, because I find him offencive sometimes. I know he is a good teacher, and i want him to continue teaching, but I dont want him to do this stuff. is there anyway I can say something (not to him) to an adminestrator or someone, but not in a mean way, just to talk to him about what he does that Myself and some other girls find offencive?

Do you think that this is sexual harassment? am I totally over-reacting??

Please help!

I'll rate and leave feedback!

Thanks! any help is really appreciated!

-Kas-

His behavior seems very inappropriate to me. Whenever you feel harassed, it counts as harassment! Definitely go to a principal or your parents. THIS IS ILLEGAL. Don't worry about being "mean" to him. Part of being a teacher is to not harass students; if he truly is acting inappropriately that means he is NOT a good teacher. Teachers have to follow rules just like everyone else and he is a HUGE rulebreaker.

Awww, your feedback made me smile!

my best friend diana, she weighs 113 pounds and she REFUSES to eat, and i sware. shes 12/f ps shes like 5'6

diana wants to be like me. im 13/f
im really small about 5'0 and i weigh a little over 76 pounds

she wants to loose like 20 pounds and be like me.

i find that disturding because like, it just is!

how can i tell her to stop it off and well yeah!

_________________________________________________

ps she always says she is fat and she isnt!
_________________________________________________

xOx mel

Tell her that because she's taller, it evens out. She actually is just like you, but because her body type is different she only thinks she's fatter than you. Keep telling her that nobody can change their bodies, they have to learn to love what they have! And that a lot of girls would give anything to be 113.

i started my period about 2 months ago. my vagina is changing..is that normal? if so what changes are normal????

Well...what changes have happened? I'll tell you what's normal and what's not if I know what you're talking about.

First i would like to state i am a m/13
Amd i am terribly sorry to everyone who has been answering my ?s. That i keep talking about my best friend who i have a major crush on and she knows it. Anyways...

Ok my best friend know i like her and when we talk about the boys she likes i sometimes ask her "but what are looking for in a guy" she tells me now somtime in the the conversation she always says seriously "Well maybe one day i will just go out w/ you"(something along those lines anyways) Now is she hinting something to me(she has clearly satated she has no crushy feelings for me. so what does this mean.

Is she lying to me when she says she doesnt like me
Does she want to go out w/ me
If she does want to go out w/ me how do i ask her

This is my most important ? yet

And i would just like to say thanks truely and deeply for all the people who have/will help/helped me out.

Much love, thanks, and prayers for you all

Carpe Diem

There is no way for me to see into her mind. Maybe she is playing hard to get or maybe she is just being a dangwalloper-schnortle. The best thing to do is take charge, tell sincerely how much you care about her, and ask her out on a date. There is no right or wrong method. You can't try to be like the guys on movies or attempt to match some sort of standard. The answer lies within you--this is something you have to do for yourself. I really hope you two end up together. And I give you permission to use "dangwolloper-schnortle" if you ever have the opportunity.

okay, i started my period last month in august on the 23. and yesterday on the 18th of september, i thought i was starting my period but it was like 5 days early. its like brownish and sticky. kinda gross to read i know but i wanna know. so i wore a pad to school today and its just like a normal period but just a wierd color and early. whats going on? is this supposed to happen?

Yes, that's totally normal.

I'm getting advice for my friend.. Ok, well my friend is going out with this great guy, adn when she told her mom that he liked her.. She ssaid taht she should only be friends with him.. How can she tell her mom they are going out without hurting her feelings???

There is no law that says she has to even tell her mom. It's not her mother's life.

hi umm i was wondering what is better and iPod or an mp3 player..my google goes really slow so i cant look on there..thanks

...

iPods ARE mp3 players!

i want my room to be makeovered..like by a professional such as in those magazines. i know you can like win it and stuff but can you just go find one & pay them?? if you can, where can you go? thanks so much because my room looks really ugly right now and i want it to look good! i rate 5s! :)

Yes, there are interior decorators that you can pay. However it costs a LOT of money so you'd better be able to pay. My cousin is a decorator, I'm sure there are a lot of them nearby. Try looking in the yellow pages.

i'm 13 f and i've never had a boyfreind in my life. never had a guy ask me out. never had a guy kiss me. nothing. it's not that i'm ugly or anything, i'm pretty i guess but def not like gorgeous and i'm not mean really and yeah. i guess i'm just not guy material? :( but i really really want a boyfriend and a first kiss. like it's driving me insane i can't help it! and a lot of my friends have had boyfreinds and idk about the kissing part. what is wrong with me? how can i make myself feel better about myself/ please help!!!!!

The reason you have not had a boyfriend is not because you are ugly. It is because you are young. You have lots of time to have a boyfriend, trust me. Especially since guys mature more slowly than girls. The guys at your age are not quite into serious relationships yet, it will take them a few more years. Do not think that you're not "guy material". Do not make yourself head over heels gorgeous, do not try to change yourself, just so you can get guys. Guys don't go out of their way to be pretty and neither should you! Besides, that will only attract the guys that only want SEX. As for the kissing, you don't have to worry about it until it is happening, so chill and don't obsess. And just because your friends have had boyfriends...ugh...do I have to go into that thing about the jumping off the bridge? Please. You should make your OWN decisions.

well im a fresman in high school and i still haven't gotten mi period! ( i no pretty sad huh?) well anyways im afraid ill get it in school and ill be wearing white pants... what can i do? i don't want any surprsies

First of all, that's no big deal. Everybody develops at different rates.

Secondly...don't wear white pants!! I was fortunate enough to be wearing black on the day that I got my period. So wear black or red pants and always carry tampons and/or pads with you! Problem solved!! Yay!

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