Thats sad. You are a minor! You don't need to be with him! Hes just a big pervert, I feel sorry for girls like you.



-TheTeenGirl

Listen, your question is not pathetic, and niether are you. You know you need to tell her to get out of your life, but its hard for you to think about letting go. So that doesn't make you pathetic at all. I really think that talking to your best friend wouldn't be too much help. I think its time that you've done something for yourself, and something you could start with is letting her go and cleaning up the cutting situation. Pure hearted girls like you don't deserve to have scars on them and a rude best friend that causes the stress of your cutting. Be that pure hearted girl to yourself and clean up your situation. You have those other friends you talked about in your question to have. They respect you, and they don't want you to be hurt. You can bond with one of those friends as a best friend after your cutting problem gets itself a solution. You need to tell your parents, yes, I am crazy, but you need to get help. And if you want to talk to me about how you should go about getting help, I am begging you to ask me, I will listen to you, and help you through it. I hate picturing a girl like you losing her happiness or innocence to cutting. So, if you need support, I can be that support.



-TheTeenGirl

I think you should wait for the guy to ask you out if thats what you want. I really doubt that you'll lose him, if he likes you back, he'll stay. And if you get tired of waiting for him to ask you out, go ahead and do it. But, I think the guy will come out of his shell and just ask you out if he likes you. But, I'm sure that talking more will help the friendship turn into a love relationship too, so you can keep talking about everything everyday and just wait for him.


-TheTeenGirl

So, what you're saying is that if you signed up for Teen Stars, then you can't be around family or that much? If not, please correct me, I'm not getting it.



-TheTeenGirl

Well, I think that before you jump back in a relationship with him, you need to know what exactly happened and you need the absolute truth out of him. I know you heard it from someone, but you never know if he could have kissed her and decided to leave the rumor as he just told her he liked her. But, I sure would be extremly upset if I had a boyfriend that told a girl he wasn't taken. So, you need to do some hard thinking and talking with him before you go back with him. And when you do get back together, don't have sex with him for a long while to see if he gets impatient or tries forcing you. You need to test him if he really does love you. Because, it sounds a little bit like he could be trying to get sex. He also needs to understand that if he lies a lot, then he cannot blame you for believing a rumor and for you to believe it. You definetly don't want to look easy, and you shouldn't be easy. You need to make it clear to him that you won't tolerate lying or telling a girl that hes single. I can't really see this relationship going on because of him lying and doing what he did. Hate is a strong word, especially if its a girlfriend you're talking about. I think you should try one more time since it has to be hard losing your virginity to someone and letting them go suddenly. But, I hope you don't let him step all over you.




-TheTeenGirl

I understand your question. I guess black people can say it because thats what they are called. But, if white people say it, its just really disrespectful and it probably hurts their feelings. But, I'm thinking that wigger isn't a disrespectful term, it sounds like something just made up for those who are 'posers' I guess you could say. But, I'm not sure, but some white people do call black people niggers anyway, and black people call them names anyway too, so it basically goes both ways in disrespect.



-TheTeenGirl

Are her parents aware of the cutting issue? You have to tell them so she can get some help. And, you have to talk to her parents into turning her back into a 12 year old girl instead of a sad gothic type of girl. Shes too young to start dressing any way like that. Her parents shouln't have bought her clothes like that. Thats a sad thing to see a 12 year old girl dressed up as some punk/gothic/sad girl. Thats a child going to waste. I think her starting to cut is some kind of attention she wants. You need to tell her parents about the cutting, and if you did, then its time to get her some school help or something.



-TheTeenGirl

Your brother and your boyfriend are being boys. I understand how akward it must be to see your brother and boyfriend wearing masks, but its really just a guy being a guy, and an 8 year old being an 8 year old. I'm sure they won't play with the mask for too long, but they'll probably act silly and entertain you. Heck, if I were you, I'd be making fun of them. But, I think you should go ahead and let them act like fools. I don't really know whats bad about it except that they act like little boys, but boys take lots of more time to grow up than girls.




-TheTeenGirl

Wow wait a minute, no way. I don't care if this guy spreads rumors about you being square or prude, you do not want to go and have sex with a guy to prove something right. What if you became pregnant? That guy would dump you in a heartbeat, and you'd wish that you were prude. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with being prude when you are 15! If you aren't prude, then something is really wrong. That guy is immature, and you are acting immature too just thinking about having sex with him just to prove something to him. You ignore him at this point, actually, you should have ignored him from the start.





-TheTeenGirl

You're going through a rough phase with the break-up, but you feel depressed, but its temporary. Every break-up has its ways of dealing, and most likely if it was a great relationship and you were really into that person, you get sad. I'm not answering this question to get a great note about me, I really know your pain and want to help you. The proccess of getting over someone is slow just the way we hate it, but a good way you can go about this proccess is to do things for yourself. Take a relexing bath or shower anytime you need one, go out with a friend even though you may feel too sad. You can cry when you need to, but don't make it a habit. Talk to a friend about your ex-boyfriend until you can't say anymore. This will help because when your feelings rush out, its like cleaning inside of yourself and washing that sadness out that you're holding in. Sometimes sleeping early can make things easier because your mind is off of things, and then sleeping through the night and get a full nights sleep. But, you should tell your parents and friends, that you need to take a few weeks easy because you are sensitive to whats happened. I think you should focus on yourself a lot, set a few goals for yourself and try achieving them to get your mind off of things. A good goal would be to do sit-ups and push-ups and try getting higher each day. Keep yourself busy with you, and talk to other people about how you feel. If anyone ever is rude to you about talking about your ex too much, I am somebody that won't get tired of it, and will listen to you. Even if it takes a year for you to get your feelings out, I'll be there to talk. Don't hesistate, I'm not busy, and I don't get sick of people who need help. But, if you don't talk to me, I really hope this break-up gets easier faster, but it will heal, I promise you.


[Of course the pain from a break-up will still be there after a month, trying to say its depression is making it way bigger issue than it really is, its a broken heart, not depression.]

-TheTeenGirl

I think the baby needs to be put up for adoption, I know being raped sucks, but please give this little life a chance. Think about it. Or you can raise the child to be pretty good and keep it. But, I am truly begging you to give this new life you're about to bring to the world a chance, you'll still get to go to Yale if you put it up for adoption. Abortion can haunt you just knowing what happened, but you'll know that the baby is having a new life and you won't have to feel guilt. Please think about what you'd be doing if you did the abortion.



-TheTeenGirl

Ok, your friend doesn't even deserve to be worried about by you. Thats the truth. Don't let something like this go just because shes your best friend. What she did with that guy hurt you a lot, and she was not thinking and was not doing something a best friend would do. You need to tell her how you felt when she told you about having sex with a guy you liked. It doesn't matter if she liked him too, she was dead wrong. And if she tries to make excuses instead of, "I'm very sorry that hurt you," then don't even talk to her. She knows you'd never do that to her. And that guy is trash anyway to be honest. You deserve much better than this. You have been disrespected and you shouldn't tolerate it for a minute. As for your friend being pregnant, I really suggest just leaving that to her, I understand worrying, but now its time that shes worry about something instead of you.




-TheTeenGirl

The next time she brags and says or does rude things to you, say, "Sandy, we are friends, you need to start treating me like a friend, not someone you're competing against with boys, and trying to act like you're so full of low self-esteem." I know that will seem hard to say, but you can't keep letting her put you down and take control. Actually, the next time she says shes ugly, just say, "whatever you say" and no that doesn't mean you really think she is, but let her just put herself down instead of you. And when she brags, just don't say anything and change the subject, but if she tries to brag again, just say, "ok, whatever, so what are you doing today?" Or something like that. But if it comes to a point where subject changing and ignore her fake self hating, then just tell her how you feel.



-TheTeenGirl

Ok, you need to calm down. There is nothing wrong with shrinks. I don't why you have to judge them so quickly and automatically hate them. You havn't given them a chance. Sure, you went in the past, but you walked in with a bad thought on it. You need to just go in and try talking to them, its definetly not going to kill you to at least try letting your feelings out to somebody. I'm going to tell you that I never really got along with my mom, and she never listened to what I had to say. So, she'd come in and talk with me and my shrink, and she'd have to listen. You have no reason to hate them, "I just hate them", isn't a reason. Since your mom is making you go, let something good come out of it by just giving them a chance.


[Then no columnists should be responsible for your lack of describing your "bad" past with a shrink]

-TheTeenGirl

I really want to help you, but I need to know why you're sick and what you mean by you're scared of going back.

Well, I can't tell you how sorry I am for this painful experiance of watching your parents fight and disagree. But you can't really stop them from divorcing or leaving. Now, if your mom is wanting to leave your dad and move away from him, then thats a whole different story, so could you tell me if you're scared of them getting a divorce, or are you scared that she will take you from your dad and move away and not see him again? Please write back, I'd love to help and talk to you about this.

Well, you've asked her if anything was up, and she said no. So, its time to search for evidence. You need to get her journals and check them for any evidence. You now have the right to invade her privacy for her safety. If you don't find anything at all, you need to ground her when she comes home after 9. Warn her and stick to your word. You have to stand up and make sure she gets home by curfew, and if you do this, you will be a great mother to her. And if you still suspect something, get a girlfriend and drive where she is where she can't see you an spy on her. No matter how wrong it feels, you need to know, and you have the right when you suspect danger in her life. Try having her group of friends come over and see what they are like. Also, you could try talking to her, and ask her if something is wrong or if she needs help with something. Try asking her whats wrong. From everything you have listed thats happened, she could be going to drugs. She could be a sad girl. Another thing I'd recommend is taking her out more. Buy her some things, get to know her more. But first, you need to know if shes using drugs. I know that you can be a good mother to her, you just have to find out what you need to know. Get in her life and find out whats going on.



-TheTeenGirl

I think you both should have not even talked to him since you both like him. You made her a promise, and if that promise included her not dating him either, then that promise definetly should have been kept. A boy will come and go, friendships are there to stay, in other words, boys are not worth fighting over. Your friendship is much more important when you are thirteen. So, I think you need to get with your friend, and tell her that you're sorry. As for that guy, if you are both willing not to be around him, then it will work out better. You friend was pretty cold doing that to you, but you need to think twice before making a promise with your friend.




-TheTeenGirl

Sit down with your boyfriend and tell him it stresses you out that he wants to change a lot. Tell him how much you love him for himself. And if he changes on you anyway, you know it can't be worth it. If he changes to a person that isn't your type, you know you have someone better that won't change waiting for you. But lots of guys get through phases of wanting to be wanted, and wanting to be noticed. You should tell him that the guy he is right now is the guy you fell in love with, not the gothic guy, or the punk, or prep. I find your stress more than understandable, but if you let him know how important he is to you, then he'll probably come around.



-TheTeenGirl

The best way love will happen, is if you don't sit there in sorrow and misery and wait for it. Don't chase it, it will come when you least expect it. That is what I believe because it happened to me. I focused on school work, and friends, and love came after me. Love at first sight is a cheesy love saying. Love can be on friendship, but that has to be unexpected too. Lots of girls dream about falling in love with their best friend, and they try forcing it to happen, so that has to be something you don't know will happen.




-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
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