Brandi_S's advice column | Page 42

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Kansas

Occupation:

House wife, Mother, Local Loon

Age:

35

Member Since:

July 15, 2006

Answers:

3333

Last Update:

March 11, 2013

Visitors:

124049

Favorite Columnists

hitler_the_goat

about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

I know this may sound dumb, but I was wondering if a stainless steel ring would turn your finger green? I know that some jewelry does that... I just didn't know if stainless steel was one of them. My boyfriend and I are getting eachother rings for Valentine's Day. Nothing expensive, just like 40-60 dollars. The ones I have found are stainless steel, so I wanted to make sure that wasn't a bad idea.

Like said before me, it depends on skin acidity.
I will tell you to avoid pewter.

ygs-29/f

I have recently purchased a used boat from a private seller and found out after the sale there is major engine problem. I had the boat taken to a well known company that has its own marine department and is an authorized Mercury Boat Motor service center. I paid them to check and inspect the boat and motor and to change and inspect the motor lower end gear lube prior to my purchasing the boat. The results of the inspection indicated only minor problems with the boat and that the gear lube was dirty. The oil was changed in the lower end at that time. I purchased the boat five days later and took it home and put it in my garage to do some of the minor repairs. Within 15 minutes I noticed an oil leak coming from the prop area in the lower end. I took it back to the shop and they found major damage to the lower end costing several thousands of dollars to repair. This is the reason I took the boat in to this shop in the first place to protect my self from this situation.
Do I have any recourse against the seller or the shop that inspected the boat? I have not had the boat in the water or even started the motor since I purchased the boat.
Thanks for any advice you can give me.

The seller, I'm sure, sold the boat in "as is" condition. Unless they were involved with getting a faulty inspection on the boat, I doubt there is anything you can do there.

As for the boat company, you may be able to do something with that. Speaking with your county attorney to get advice on this situation is your best bet.

ygs-29/f

would you go out with someone who is going to graduate at the end of may. he's a year ahead of me and im scared that i'll get too attached. would you forget the risk and take the fall?

Listen- sometimes you have to take a lot of risks in this life. Sometimes its your heart you are putting on the line. (With every relationship, you are risking your heart.)
Sometimes its the risks you chose not to take that you later in life kick yourself in the can thinking "What if..."
The way I see it, its one thing to be afraid of life, but its another to be afraid to live it.

ygs-29/f

what makes you taller
im 15/f i i wanna get taller
does vitamins help
does zinc or iron make me get taller
just tell me what helps make me taller

You are only going to get so tall.
I suppose, unless you found an NBA player willing to donate to a leg transplant.
Since that isn't by any means a feasible plan, you just have to wait an allow nature to take it's course. Some folks grow faster than others.
I grew 5 inches between age 14 and 18.

ygs-29/f

13/f

Okay, well... I'm friends with several bi's, several lesbians and several gay people. I met a few of them on the internet and yes, I know they are not just perverts because I have their phone numbers! *waves paper in the air* Now, the problem is... My other friends hate gays, bis, and lesbians. It's stupid! They're mean to them anyway... And, this makes me uncomfortable because I think... I may be bi. Yes, I said I THINK. I don't know... Cuz, sometimes I feel attracted to the same sex, but at the same time don't. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Like... At a slumber party, I accidently put my leg over this girl... And started playing with her hair... And... I accidently murmure she was cute... *twitches* Um... But, I have a boyfriend and... I dunno. Can somebody help me here? Am I bisexual? If I am, I need to know so I can hide it from people because my mom is racist against gays, lesbains and bisexuals... T_T pelase help ASAP!!!

I can't tell you how you really feel inside. What I CAN tell you is that you should be who you are in this life, regardless of what everyone else thinks.

ygs-29/f

By 2 weeks I have to pick a novel that is fictional, min. of 200 pages, and is appropreate for a catholic school.

Any suggestions or what you picked on your first year of highschool and was successful?

Btw, I'm a slow reader, if it narrows down your list.

I'm currently reading Independence Day (the book they based the movie off of) and it's a good book.

ok my boyfriend has A BBUNCH of stuff on valentines day weekend for me and him to do that he's keeping a surprise but idk what i could do because i have no money and i cant drive or take him anywhere what can i do?? please help!! :(

Sounds to me like being there is all it would take to make him happy.

ygs-29/f

Um when i get scared, anxiety, really nervous, etc my hands are liek frozen. (I guess because when I'm scared my blood runs cold, literally?).

I know it isn't normal but I don't know if there's a name for it if it is a serious problem or disease.

My dad wants it checked and some of my friends think that it's freaky lol especially when it happens during the summer when it's blazing hot but I dunno..even though you know something's bad going on, I like the coldness.

Does anyone might know of what it is? thanks.

I know circulation issues can cause your hands to get cold. Perhaps your anxieties are causing strange occurrences with your blood flow. See the doctor like your dad says, and in the meantime try to stay relaxed.
When you feel your nerves start freaking out, try calming techniques like meditation to help ease your stress.

http://health.discovery.com/centers/stress/articles/meditation/meditation.html

ygs-29/f

I'll try and keep it short and sweet.

I go to a public school in a town about 30 minutes away from where I live. My mom is a teacher there, which is why I'm allowed to go. Because of this it can be extremely difficult to have a life with friends out there. I no longer have friends in the town I live in, and only a small group of friends in a town over. My parents have been talking about moving for a while, and yet whenever I try to help they yell at me, and tell me they will deal with it.

Why don't they seem to want to move? What can I do to help them without them getting mad? I don't think it's a question of money. It's true the town over is expensive, but I've looked and there are affordable houses. Theres a lot of work to do before we sell our current house, but I'm completely willing to help them with every step of it. But I need their help first; I can't go rip out the rug in our basement and replace it myself, I can't gut the bathroom by myself. What should I do?

Plain and simple: It's their house, not yours.
They will decide where they want to live next.
They will decide what work to do in the current home.
I mean, it is home to you, but you have to remember its only home to you for so long- its home to them forever.
Take you/we out of the equation. Trust them when they say they will deal with it.

ygs-29/f

ok im gonna have a baby soon and i really want to name if its a boy 'sean' or a girl 'brooke' but i have no idea wat their middle names gonna be can anyone give me some suggestions.

Considering it took me months to finally decide on names for my boys, I can't help you anymore than giving you the sites I researched:

http://www.babynamesworld.com

http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames

ygs-29/f

okay,so i had sex for the first time about a couple weeks ago?

ive only done it once,and he used a condom,and im almost positive it didnt break or leak.

i usually get my period on the 30th or 1st.

its the 4th now and i still havent started

but ive been really stressed about it and all

like all month

so i could still get it

or idk

my period can be irregular but it hasnt been for a while

like i used to get it on the 10th

but i still havent has my january period

which like i said i get on the 31

or the 1 of the next month (like febuary 1st in this case)

If you are an adult, wait to test until you are at least a week late.
If you are a teen, wait at least 2 weeks, because your cycle is not likely regulated.
That is the best way to ensure an accurate test result.

Don't stress, because that can cause you to be late. You could be just having an irregular month.
Don't fret unless you don't have your period by February 15th or so.

ygs-29/f

so, this is kinda a stupid question, but what would happen if you drank an entire bottle of niquil?

It's called overdose. That is VERY dangerous.
Drinking an entire bottle of Nyquil is foolish.

"What happens if I overdose?
Seek emergency medical attention if you think you have used too much of this medicine.

Symptoms of an overdose may include dry mouth, feeling restless or nervous, dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, loss of appetite, increased sweating, warmth or tingly feeling, seizure (convulsions), or coma."

From link: http://www.drugs.com/mtm/nyquil-cold-medicine.html

ygs-29/f

Ok I have a boyfriend named jesse and he's a skater........I'm a emo I dont want 2 be with him anymore I'm in love with a guy named josue who is also emo but I don't want 2 brake up with jesse because I don't want 2 hurt him......please help me out my heart belongs 2 josue

There's no way of breaking up with someone without hurting them. The longer you put it off, the more he will be hurt. You just have to do it.

Look at it this way- By putting it off, you are being unfair to Jesse and yourself, and also wasting each other's time. You need to be able to move on because you want to, and he needs to know that so he can move on, too.

ygs-29/f

since 8 month my boyfriend and i trying have a baby nothing work? is that cuz of too many partner or undevelope or what? what wrong with it? also cuz of thinking about baby too much? I'm 19 year old, i know I'm young...help me...

Actually, you can get pregnant at any time. Some days you are more fertile during your cycle. They do have a test you can buy that will tell you your most fertile days. I'm not sure how that works, though.

It doesn't mean anything is wrong. You could just be trying too hard. Just relax and try not to stress over getting pregnant. Enjoy the intimate time you are sharing with him. Once a baby comes into the picture, those times become few and far between.

ygs-29/f

The other girls my age tease me alot just because I'm a Tomboy. My friends that dont tease me just constantly talk about the boys they like and what make up would look good with the new clothes they bought and what hair styles would look cute and what shade pink to paint there nails and blahbly blahbly blah. I dont tease them because of it, I think it is mean to tease other people you should treat people the way you want to be treated! I'm just tired of being teased so much and not being invited to slumber partys because they are going to do make overs and not being able to hang out with my friends because they are always going to the mall or going to have some weird jappanese laddie paint there nails and talk on the phone and all this stuff I dont want to do. Not once have they asked me what I cared about or wanted to do or anything I'm really sick of it what should I do?

Have you thought to have your own slumber party with your friends? That way, you can try to involve them in your interests.
There's stuff to do that isn't girly, like maybe you and your friends would have a fun time going to a paint ball place, a go-kart track, or something similar.
I don't know if that's something you think would work out, but I thought I'd throw the ideas out there.

ygs-29/f

hi, 26 m virgin....i am quite addicted to masturbation

is it normal to masturbate 2-3 times a day, how many times is it advisable?

i just get turned on by seeing panty & bras...is this normal?

will abstinence from masturbation help before getting to sex?

will masturbation effect my sexual drive?
honest suggestions required, please help.

No worries, fella, you're fine.
It won't affect your sex drive, it won't make you blind, it won't lower your sperm count, etc, etc, etc. That's all myth.

If you want to do it that much, go ahead. You aren't hurting anything. You are perfectly normal.

ygs-29/f

I know people ask this question like 50 times on this site, but I actually have some details. My period came last month (Dec 25), and I had sex with my boyfriend in January, but we ALWAYS use protection; however, I am about 4 days late now, could I be pregnant or am I just freaking out for no reason?

If you are an adult, wait to take a test when you are at least a week late.
If you are a teen, wait at least 2 weeks. Why? Because your cycle is not likely completely regulated.
Stressing over it can cause your period to be late, also. Hard as it may be, try not to worry and fret.

ygs-29/f

I am 34/F. My best friend/cousin told me the other day that she has contemplated not being friends with me anymore because of things I say to her, i.e., I told her I wasn't going to an event because it was boring, and she was offended because it is part of her family tradition and her parents plan it every year. (I had no idea her parents planned it. It is a city-sponsored event.) She also said that when I was little, my mom would talk crap about her family and I would repeat it to them. I don't doubt that this is true, but it happened when I was a kid so I can't remember anything that was said, and neither can my cousin. She just remembers it happening. I teasingly called her a "hoverer," and she was offended because she has heard me in the past say that others were hoverers and it was negative.
I am upset that she has contemplated not being my friend anymore and also that she seems to be overly sensitive. I actually watch what I say around her because I know she is overly sensitive to begin with, I just didn't realize how much. I have not spoken with her since she told me all this. What should I do/say?

Hmmm...

If it were me, I would apologize for things you've said that she took as hurtful. Not for things you allegedly said as a child.

As for the childhood happenings, I would remind her that you were repeating what you heard, not expressing your personal thoughts.

Your cousin really needs to realize that a true friend doesn't make it so her friend has to pick and choose her words wisely. Just because you say something that can be construed and negative doesn't mean you meant it negatively towards her.

Maybe she is over protective of her kids? Remind her that being that way doesn't make her a bad parent. Especially when so many kids aren't lucky enough to have a parent who cares what they do.

I'd tell her that you understand she's sensitive on certain issues, but when you say something that she feels is rude, that your intention wasn't to be rude.

ygs-29/f

ok, this is really random, but my dad is a VERY republican/political/history person. He was talking to me when the pressident was giving the state of the union address. well anyways
we were talkin about who could win as president.
heres my few questions

1. COULD a midget win the presidency
2. WHICH do you think would come FIRST? A woman president, black president, or a jewish president?

I am just wondering, please answer these! THANKZ!

Personally, I don't think it should matter as long as the person elected does a good job of running the country. I would vote for said person, but I couldn't honestly tell you if everyone else would.

ygs-29/f

im tired of taking BC pills everyday to prevent pregnancy. Isnt there like a shot i can get from my doctor that will prevent me from getting pregnant for like 5 years no matter if i use protection or not?

Depo Provera shot is available. You have to get it every 3 months.

Here is a site with good information on it:
http://www.brown.edu/Student_Services/Health_Services/Health_Education/sexual_health/ssc/depo.htm

If you are looking for something more long term, you can get an IUD. You can get them for 5-12 years. They are completely reversible.

Say, you get a 12 year IUD. In 8 years, you get married and want to have babies. You have the IUD removed, and you are good to go.

Here is a site with IUD information:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control/intrauterine-devices.htm

Be sure to research your options before making a choice, so you know you are making a choice that best fits you and your needs.

Also remember that the only thing that protects you from STDs are condoms. You should always practice safe sex, even when on birth control. You are worth it to protect yourself.

ygs-29/f

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>