TheTeenGirl's advice column

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Q: i make such a big deal out of little things with me and my boyfriend.. he thinks kristin from laguna beach is so hot so we fight wen he watches it.. its not my fault im jealous, but what can i do?

Every girl gets jealous, but you must understand that every guy will have a crush on female celebrities. Every girl goes through it with their boyfriend. And some girls really don't care, and some do. But the secret to not caring is, to just know that your boyfriend will never meet this celebrity, hes with you. And sometimes it helps to ask him how much he loves you, because it will get his mind off of the celebrity when he talks or thinks about you. Basically, just watxh it with him and spend that time with him watching it. Just take it as old news because it will be soon.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My boyfriend and I have been having sex since late June. Last night he asked me if i got it yet ( i got it june 30th, after we first started to) and i said no but im not worried about it im going to wait a few days because my comes so randomly. and it never comes on the same date. he is yelling at me about he knows he asked girls, but i think i know mmy fuckin period and a bunch of girls periods come different times and late. he is really stressing me out, should i go to a clinic to see or buy a test now?

Well, first off, as you said, you're a girl and you know your period schedule well, so you have nothing to worry about until you know. And second, I don't think you should be having sex with your boyfriend if hes acting the way you've described just because you don't get your period on the day he and you expect. Don't let your boyfriends yelling keep you from being confident that it will come soon, you buy a test when you think that something isn't right. Not when hes yelling at you and stressing you out. And you need to have a serious word with him about that and say, "hey, I am a women, this is my period, I know when my period arrives better than you will ever know. So you better stop yelling, I understand that you're under stress, but you're making me stressed and if having sex with you means going through you yelling at me, its not worth it, you need to stop and relax." Now, he may take it wrong, but he needs to know, hes honestly got no right to act like he knows your period.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I dont know why i feel so hurt by my boyfriend. I live in florida he lives in pensavainla we promised not to date anyone except each other this year until we see each other next summer. Every time i send him an email or write him a note and he doesnt respond my heart crumbles. its said that distance makes the heart grow fond but being away from him is killing me. I dont know what to do. I never felt like this before I love him soo much! Please Please help. Im tired of crying myself to sleep.
xoxoLexixoxo

I think I know what you're feeling. And you need to ask him whats going on with no replies to your notes or e-mails that you care enough to send him. I'd start digging for the truth, because if you don't start now, it just makes things more unbearable, especially when you're crying for answers inside. But now its time to unleash your cries for answers to him. Tell him how crushed you're when hes not responding, and ask him if hes seeing anyone. Just ask him what you need to know, I want you to be able to know whats going on instead of crying all the time. If you need help with this, just inbox.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok so i have a boyfriend that i've been with for about 6 months now. im 16, my boyfriend is turning 19 in september And about four months into the relationship, i got raped by his older brother and now his family is blaming me and telling ppl it wasnt raped so now im questioning myself if it was rape or not. and then the cops got involved because my boyfriend called the cops since i told him what happened when i slept over. so when the cops were investigating, they found out that me and my boyfriend have been having sex as well. so now me & andrew arent even allowed to see each other legally and im just wondering if i should stay with him after all this happening, we want to have kids in the future and he even asked me to marry him...is this a good idea?

No, is it far from a good idea. As much as you'd like to be with him, you can't and shouldn't. You're illegal, meaning that you should not have been with him in the first place. You do not have a future with someone that much older than you when you're only 16. And even if his age was appropriate, I'd get out of his life. His brother is in denial of raping you. That is one sick family that you do not want to keep down the same path with. I can't believe that a 19 year old just can't find a girl his own age, so he goes for 16 year old innocent girl. He got whatever he could get his hands on, and that is you. You having sex with him is giving him what he wants. Hes not in love, he wants what you can give, and that is every bit of your innocence which is lost. Sorry, but you're in deep trouble and need to get yourself out of that family.

[I don't have to know what hes done, hes 19, I don't want to know him any further, hes had sex with you, thats enough information, hes a pervert, end of story, I'm not going any further with this discussion.]

Q: This is gonna sound confusing but, my best friend that i knew for about 6 years now has this really hot brother, hes about my age. He likes me and i like him! But she doesnt want us going out and she keeps making up excuses on why we shouldnt. She doesnt know i like him and im afraid if i do tell her she will get upset and be rude about it. And plus i think it will feel a little weird going out with my best friends brother! HELP i am soo confused

You should talk with your best friend alone and ask her what bothers you about the thought of you and her brother hooking up, and ask for the truth. Tell her that she needs to tell you the truth pretty soon because you like him. If your friend is upset, then maybe she'll tell you out of anger. But if she does get upset, don't date her brother. You don't want to get yourself in that mess. But, I think you should just be honest with her, and she'll probably give it back to you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok so, last night i went to a party and met this really cool guy. he's a friend of one of my ex's. he said it was a birthday party when he invited me so one of my friends wouldnt feel lonely. well i found out later that the party is for his girlfriend. but he really wants to end the relationship. she controls him all the time. and so idk i just kinda like him. and he called me up last night and we talked for a couple of hours and he asked me out on a date tonight so we can get better aquainted. it seems fine to me but im just not sure, hes 18 and im 16, which isnt bad because ive dated 18 yr olds before, like all last year. i just dont really kno what to do. is being interested in him wrong?

Having feelings for someone is beyond your control, but actually dating him is all in your power. And 18 is a little too old for you. You're a minor and hes an adult. Its wrong, its not love, and it will never work out unless you're willing to be his, "sex machine" and whether you've dated an 18 year old that you never had sex with or not, he needs to find someone his own age. If an 18 year old has nothing better to do then hang around a 16 year old girl, then hes worthless. Sorry.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: hey again,{this is the girl who wants to get back w/ her ex}
I want my exbf cuz he makes me feel good and he's really nice and no this other guy doesnt have a gf at all or even a girl he has a crush on or anything
and my exbf also says really sweet comments like he doesnt diserve me and he's sincere. Please Help Thank U

Well, thats another sign that tells me you shouldn't be with your ex. Him being nice is only half of wanting someone. You say you want him because hes sweet. But I don't see anywhere in that sentence that you have feelings for him. It just sounds like you like his friendly ways toward you. They aren't really friendly, but I think if you date another guy aside from your best friend, your other relationships won't work out because you sound attached to him. And I don't think other guys will deal with that. Unless you trust yourself to stay with your ex and keep on being with him even if it feels like you're more in love with the other, you'll have to stay without a boyfriend until your best friend comes around or if you stop liking him soon. Are you sure that you have feelings for your ex? I'm just not too sure you really like him. I think this other guy is too much in the way for you to like someone else. I think you'll have to just let things happen for now, let life control you for a little bit and put your dating thoughts on hold for a while. I think you need a break.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey,
I'm the one girl who wanted to go back out w/ her ex and stuff but the only problem is that I like that one guy more than I like my ex and I cant stop talking to the guy I like cuz he's like one of my best friends. Please Help, Thank U

Well, that information tells me that dating your ex boyfriend isn't a good idea. I have a doubt that you still have feelings for him. I'm not really sure whats going on here with you wanting to be with your ex, yet you long for this other guy, but you've hardly talked about your ex, but somehow you want your ex. Does this other guy have a girlfriend and maybe you're jealous and want someone to see if he'd get upset? I'm not assuming that, but it could be a deep jealousy inside that you aren't aware of. How do you know you want your ex? What tells you, what makes you sure you want yoyr ex back? I'd like to know more about what you want from you ex, and the truth. It is ok to want to have someone just to use them, everyone feels that, but we know that we can't do that. So, I just need a few answers about your ex and why you want him back.

Q: Hey,
Well..I want to go back out w/ my ex but the only problem is theres this other guy I cant stop thinking about but this guy only likes me as a friend but I've liked this guy for over 2 years and when me and my ex went out one of the reasons y i wanted to break up was because I was inlove w/ this other guy and it didnt feel right being inlove w/ another guy and going out w/ someone else. Please Help Me. Thank U

Well, the best thing to do would be to think about how you would go about dating your ex. You would need to stay away from this guy and not talk to him, because talking to a guy you're in love with only brings you closer to them and it gets worse for you to be with your ex boyfriend. If you treat how much you like this other guy like a small crush, it will pass eventually. But if you hold onto it like you're deeply in love, then you'll never get passed it and your relationship with your ex will just end. But, now that I think of it, are you in love or in like with your ex at all? I know you said that you wanted to be with him, but are you sure its in an act of love? Or are you wanting to be with someone to be with them? You've got to think about what it is you really feel about him. Does it overpower the love you have for the ther guy? Make comparisons in your mind with these guys. The only difference you have is that one guy happens to like you back. But you need to spend your time thinking about your feelings toward your ex and I think you'll have it figured out.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I have had my girlfriend for 2 and a half years.... she recently had a crush on someone else who she had been spending quite alot of time with lately.... she didnt tell me about the crush, and he also happened to like her. Instead of telling me, she flirted with him, and she told him she liked him and he kissed her. She said she pushed him away and said that she couldnt kiss him because she loves me. She continued to hang around this guy hoping that situation would blow over. It didnt and he kissed her 2 more times(She kissed back a little bit before pushing him away these times) and continued to spend time with him. I didnt find this out until one of the guys friends told me about it. I confronted her and she told me the situation i had just described. She says she is really sorry and that she didnt want to hurt me and she loved me and didnt know why she kept up with this other guy. She then called him telling him that she cant ever speak with him again. I am very confused on whether or not i should break up with her because I love her so much. On the other hand im scared this could happen again. Should i break up and throw two and a half years down the drain or try and fix this up. She also seemed very sincere in her apology.....

A two year relationship should be tried for another chance. Your girlfriend needs to stay away from him, and if she doesn't, then you'll have to give her your strong warning and explain how serious you are about this. And if that doesn't do it, give her up for a few days and then she'll get it. She obviously likes this guy a lot if she has the nerve to keep hanging around him. You need to sit down with her and say, "I am really glad that you've admitted to this, but for me, its going to take a lot of time to build things back the way they were. I am still hurt and I need you to stand by me instead of this other guy" Make sure she understands. I want you to work this out with her, and you both need to help each other out in this.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: okay well i really wanna make my bf happy and he kinda likes kinky things so i was wondering if anyone had some ideas on something i could do to make him excited.. but nothing like handcuffs or whipcream were only 14

I'm sorry, but 14 is too young, please do not have sex just because he wants to do "kinky" things with you. I'm sure you'd love to give him a gift because he'll like it, but you need to think of something more what 14 year olds do when they date. I think you should go to a movie and share popcorn, and go home and talk about how much you love each other. Hold hands, do the little things instead of the kinky things. Please think of something that can't destract future plans.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey, is it normal to like to feel depressed and if so does that meen yur an emo kid?

Well, sure, everyone gets sad at times, but the term "Emo" means emotional, but it doesn't mean you're emotional just because you get sad at times. To me, everyone is an emotional human being, people always use "Emo" as being depressed. But, just because you're sad at times, even for no apparent reason, don't consider yourself emo. You don't want to make sadness into a lifetime feeling, you'll regret it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey
Ok well...my I miss my ex bf and he says I can b his gf again if I want to, hes sooo sweet and says he thought he had no chance in hell w/ me but he's shorter than I am but I mean that really doesnt matter but I just dont want to have to hear everyone's comments about it, I'm thinking I might go out w/ him when school starts back up again becuase I never got to see him when we were going out and that is part of the reason I broke up w/ him. Can U Please Help Me!!!!!!
Thank You

Well, I definetly think you should give him a chance. I understand that the appearance will get the school laughing, and they may not, but if it becomes the case, then you've got to let it blow away. Sure, you'll get comments here and there, but you should just kind of laugh with them, in other words, just say, "ok, thats nice" and just move on. If you walk around saying, "whatever hes not short! He is not" then people will be all over you. Showing people that you can care less about what the school's laughing at this month or this week will just make them stop sooner. But, I don't want that to get in the way of your happiness with someone. And, you'll both get through the laughs and comments together. And, personally, I'd take it as a compliment if the school actually paid attention to me and who I was dating. I'm not a girl who wants to be in the spotlight, but I wouldn't mind if it happened all because of someone I liked. I am really hoping you'll be with him, you both sound like you'll do good together.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey,
OK well my bestfriend is who I am inlove w/ but he says he doesnt like me like a gf just as a friend but I'm the only girl he's nice to and he's really sweet and nice I mean really really nice like if he does anything wrong he apologizes a thousand time and if I dont feel good he's just like aww i'm srry I hope u feel better. Is he just a good friend or is he starting to fall for me? Please Help Me
thank u

I'm just curious, did you ask me this twice? its alright if you did, but I'm sorry if I've got the wrong person.

Q: Hey
Ok well I love my best friend but he says he only likes me as a friend but yet I'm the only girl he's nice to and he's really really nice I mean too nice for friends and I cant help that he's starting to like me. He doesnt say he is but I know he's nice enough to be. Please Help. I rate high.
Thank You

Well, if I were in your shoes, I'd wait until he came around and just admitted that he liked me. But, it may be the best thing to do. Maybe you shouldn't push the oppurtunities and just wait. If you know for sure that he likes you, then give him a few signs to assure him that you like the attention hes giving you. It sounds like he may be coming on strong as someone whose suppose to be your friend. And note that unforunitly, guys won't come out and tell them they like you, they always deny it, so don't believe him all the time when hes saying that. I think you've got your best friend in love with you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok i know im not ready to have sex NOW but i dont know if i want to wait until marriage either..i mean what do you guys think?

a part of me says

"hey who knows if your husband will even be a virgin..then its kind of pointless that you waited..and besides if you wait until your married, thats the only guy your going to have sex with .."

then again anothher part of me says "sex would be more special if you waited to have it with your husband"

any input?

You need to hold on listening to that second part. Just because you have sex with only one person in your life, its not bad, its actually great when you have had only one person. It doesn't make you less desirable or any of that, lots of teenage girls and guys go through their lives having sex, and when they get older, they probably end up regreting it because there will be a lot of different people. But, when you have your life and special moments devoted to one person, you are way more comfortable and luckier than somebody whose spent there lives as a minor having sex with a guy they hardly know. Trust me, you may think that sex after marriage will feel like a long wait and pointless, but it won't be. People always tell you to have sex when you're ready, but thats not good advice, because when you're young, you always think that you're ready. But no teenager is ever ready. I hope that second part of you comes around and takes over, it will save you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey,
My bestfriend is my crush i'm inlove w/ him and he's really nice to me, he said I was the prettiest girl in our class. Yet, the only reason he wont go out w/ me is becuase i'm not pretty enough for him. Please dont think he's a horrible guy because he's not i asked him if that is why he didnt want to go out w/ me and he said he doesnt want to sound mean but yeah thats y. Soo does this mean i'll never b able to b with him?, oh and he wants to b like my only friend but of course he can have other ones. Please Help Me this has been bothering me for quite some time now.
Thank U

First off, thanks for asking me. I don't think that this guy is horrible, I think he might be playing around with your mind alittle bit. If the guy tells you that you aren't pretty enough, I think its only better off that you might plan on never being with him. He sounds like a shallow guy, and I don't want you to think that I'm not understanding, but I have a slight thought that you might not be understanding this. He said that you were the prettiest girl in class, but he won't date you because you aren't pretty enough. It sounds like hes trying to mess around with you so that you'll keep wanting him more. And I think he likes the attention. I'm sorry, but he doesn't sound like a good guy that you deserve, I think he needs to go out and try finding another girl he really likes and get messed around with, because he deserves it. If the guy says that you aren't pretty, do you really want to feel ugly with him? Because you will. You won't feel good about yourself if you be with someone who thinks that you aren't pretty. So, I'm sorry this wasn't too much of the answer that suits you, but I hope you get what I'm saying. Chances are that he'll ask you out and hopefully you'll remember what he said.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey, ok well I have a friend who is inlove w/ me, and has liked me for like 3 years now, but, I thought I liked him once and we went out and then I dumped him b/c i didnt like him anymore. Then, resently I thought I liked him again but now I realize I dont want to toy w/ his head, b/c i'm confusing myself right now. I dont know what to do b/c my friend thinks I basically want to be his gf but I dont what should I do?
P.S. He is annoying and is obsessed w/ me and wont stop calling me!!!! make the phone stop please

Well. first off, thank you for asking me your question. You both sound like an on and off couple. You probably are confused about how you feel about him, maybe you do have feelings for him, but his obsession with you is just a big turn off. Meaning you just don't like his obsessing with you. But, if you're sure that you don't like him more than a friend, then the next time he calls, ask him nicely to stop and tell him that you do not have the same feelings for you as you do toward him. Just say, "Hey, you're a really nice guy to talk to, but I need for you to stop calling so much, I'm really sorry, but I'm not feeling the same way you do about me." And, your friend just sounds like she knows that you guys will be off and on, so don't take your friends' thoughts too offensively. But, the only way you can make him stop is to be 100 percent honest with him. Even if the truth is just really hard to get out, its important the guy knows that you aren't on the same page as him. Because, if you don't tell the truth and just keep taking his calls, thats really playing around with his mind.And you already stated that you didn't want to. Don't hesistate to ask for more help going about this ore anything else.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: heyy ii really need someone to help me in this situation. please i rate high =) ..

ok well my boyfriend and i have gone out like once or twice b4 and were going out as of now again and the first 2 times i broke up wit him for the same reasons being 1) he acts all different around me and its like its not the person that i actually like in him 2) he choses like his friends over me for example we`ll be talking on the phone and hes like ''my friends calling i gotta go love yah bye'' *hangs up* its like yeah i love yah 2 .. talking to the dial tone. and im just soo stuck.. i mean 2day he came over and ofcorse he just had to bring over one of his friends.. and this is one of the problems tha way he acts when hes around his friends compared to me.. and like his friend wanted him & i to make out and stuff and thats just not something that my bf would do right away in a relationship and stuff so he started acting like lets do it type of thing when thats really not like him.. idk and like he tells me im beautiful like only when his friends are around i mean is he just trying to get something from me, im soo confused. do i believe him or not? .. and im always tempted to break up wit him but the past 2 times i broke uhp wit him i regreted it .. and soo yeah im really just stuck..and i just wanna move on in life.. i dont know what to do .. anyone have any sugguestions between break up or just like any other ideas? please help!!

The guy you are with hasn't quite matured yet. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't be with him, but hes just not very grown up with the dating world, and how to treat a girlfriend nicely. But, if I were you, I'd probably let him go and have the exact same tempt to just break up with him. Hes at an age where only his guys matter to him. Its really hard being with someone who spends a lot of time with friends, in other words, its hard to be with someone when they are really immature. And, about the whole making out thing, your boyfriends' friend is also very immature, too. You and your boyfriends' doing things are between you, not your friends or his friends. But, at this point, you shouldn't even be kissiung this guy if hes suddenly in a sexy mood because his friends want to see that.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I have been in my current relationship for 9 months. Previouisly my relationship was 4 years in which we had a child. since then her father hasn't seen or talked to her in 6 months. Now when she starts to get close to my boyfriend she takes three steps back. But if she meets someone new she walk with them and hold their hand and she won't do this with my boyfriend. This upsets him and I've told him maybe she's just afraid to get close with himbecause she's afraid he will leave her too. Please help me try to understand this better. (she's only 5 years old)

Your boyfriend needs to stop pushing it. Your daughter is only five years old and he needs to think more of that fact. Have you ever thought that maybe since her dad left that she will get close to anyone but your boyfriend because she feels replacement has been taken from her fathers' place also? I think its your boyfriend who needs to understand better. He sounds too impatient for this kind of situation, I'm not asking you to dump him, but you need to say, "look, shes had a rough past with her father, and you're going to have to wait for however long it takes for her to get a healthy relationship with you." Your daughter is just going through difficulties with her past, its not abnormal in anyway, even teens get like this toward their mothers' new boyfriends. And five year olds can get upset about these things, shes so little and had to handle a big past. So, I hope you can tell your boyfriend to calm down, because your daughter probably needs your hand to hold right now when it comes to this problem.

-TheTeenGirl

bio

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.