asksoadorable__x3
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: okay so i've been talking to this guy Javier for a while and it seemed like at first he was gonna ask me out and be happily ever after.
Recently though he had told me he lost interest and liked someone else and he still wanted to be friends.
a week after this we were texting (as friends would do)we he all of a sudden told me that when he saw me in school today, he wanted to kiss me. i told him that "stuff happens to make us feel thatt way" and then he went on to asking if i would have let him.
Me being honest i said probally but i would have been confused. He then mentioned that he missed the close intamacy that we had when we were talking-- even though it wasnt sexual.
ive already asked him to make up jis mind on what he want since i really don't feel like wasting my time for nothing, why fight for something you cant win?
i haven't had sex with him. i tld him i wouldnt unless we dated. i havent done anything sexual with him at all, no oral, no foreplay, a peck on the cheek, and a kiss on the neck, and a makeout session here and there but nothing too serious.

Should i just give up? or should i just be upfront about it?

16/f/junior in high school
17/m/senior in high school
You have to decide if he's worth your time. If I were you, personally I think that this guy is too indecisive like too many young guys are, I've been hurt by guys like that and it's often a sign that they are afraid of commitment. You are so young and you really don't want to to be bothered by someone who is so indecisive.

If you feel like he's worth it in spite of his indecisiveness be up front about your feelings, tell him that either he will decide that he wants to make you his girlfriend or you will move on and find someone else. Sometimes guys need that ultimatum, so that they know that they can't take us girls for granted.

Good luck!

Q: ive been friends with a guy whose almost exactly perfect for me 4 about 2 months. i was planning 2 ask him out but found out the day b4 this other girl did and he said yes. i found out who it was and it turns out i know her shes a preppy, ginger, that gets way 2 serious bout things,and is a total jerk. like the guy i like im the complete opposite of dat.
i decide 2 flirt with him anyway. there was a party and i started 2 dance him, he waz cool with it and having fun when she runs over and pulls him away. later on a slow song comes on and im not bout 2 give up so i start dancing with him and she freaks so i start 2 walk away when she kisses him right in front of me (she knows i like him). so i try get his attention another way i start grinding on a my girl friend and see hes smiling at me i could tell he liked it. then of course the girl starts grinding on him just 2 make me mad. later dat night she grinds on a few other dudes right in front of him. he is always complimenting me and im think he has more feelings 4 me then just a friend he dose lil flirting signs at me and i give them back
should i wait 4 him 2 ask me out? keep trying 2 get him 2 like me more? move on? or u think i should do something besides those things?
I think that you should move on, he has a girlfriend. It's not fair for you to see a guy that you like happy in another relationship, kissing another girl and he's with her for another reason.

When I was in high school there were a few guys that I liked but they always had girlfriends. It was hard for me to get over those guys, but looking back I wish that I hadn't stayed hung up over him.

If you guys are meant to go out one day you will, for now you owe it to yourself to move on. Good luck!

Q: I need advice, How do a 13yearold girl get a boy 2 like her with out looking stuped?
First of all you can't get a guy to like you, either he does or he doesn't. If you want to see if he's interested talk to him a bit more, I understand at this age that the two of you are both relatively shy. I remember that I was at your age and for a bit past that.

Being able to talk to your crush is very important though because if you can't do that then how do you know that he's even someone that you want to be with? When you get to know him more, he may just be someone that you find a attractive who has a really bad personality.

Find out what he's into, if he's wearing a band shirt or a sport jersey and you like the team that could be a good conversation to start off. Or even compliment the shirt that he's wearing and talk to him.

Good luck with your crush and let me know if you decide to follow my advice!

Q: 18 f

i have an on-going flirtation with this one guy that i go to school with. we openly flirt and will most likley hook up within the next month. i know he thinks im attractive and all but he recently said that i was a 9, as in a 9 out of 10. i dont know whether to be flattered that he gave me such a high number or insulted that he doesnt think im a 10. any opinions on this would be great.

thanks!
Some times people are very strict as to what they consider to be a 10. A 9 is still a good rating, I have been rated as a 9 by some guys that I was dating. A 9 means that he is very attracted to you, I don't think that you should be offended at all.

Good luck with this guy, and don't let him use you :).

I must say that I do agree with Zane though, I've been told that I'm very attractive by members of the opposite sex however I wouldn't date someone based on their looks. If someone is dating you based on your looks than they're very shallow, and not someone that you want to be involved with.

Q: Hey, guys! I'm a 20 year old female. I'll be 21 in 2 months :D. I am in my third year at the university, and I have been given the opportunity to graduate early. I am thankful enough to have my scholarship cover for summer classes, so this has really helped me, as I have taken every summer at my school. My graduation date, upon entering, was set to Spring 2013. But, I can decide to change that to December 2012, just by taking this last summer of college. Yet, there's a few catches!

Since, my school is in Florida, and runs through the state system, when applying to grad school, admissions focuses on your last 60 credits only. They also only consider your upper division (last 60 credits GPA). I already have quite a few upper division classes. My lower division classes (first 60 credits) are not as good as my last. I went though A LOT when first starting college. First of all, I was battling an eating disorder and going to therapy almost every day. I also found out 2 weeks before starting school that I was adopted. I met my biological parents the my second semester of school. It was very emotionally overwhelming. Now.. my grades are not TERRIBLE. I just got some B-'s, like two C's. It wasn't like I was failing. I would say my cumulative GPA for my first 60 credits was like a 2.9 or a 3.0 (so that's about a B average). My upper division GPA is a 3.7 (my whole GPA now is like a 3.4). I expect to keep it this way because I am taking classes that I like now. I've gotten rid of the classes I just had to take as requirements.

So, the due date for applying to grad school in the Spring is in October. In October, I will not be done. So, they will not see all of my upper division coursework. They will be waiting for a whole semester of grades. Of course, if this is the case, I can always get proof that all of these things happened and they will see improvement, which is good. Yet, if I graduate in the spring (and do not take summer classes), the due date to apply is in June! They will see all of my classes, I will still be graduating on time, and I am starting school in the Fall. The other good thing about graduating in Spring is that I get this summer off and next summer off too. I haven't had a summer off school since the summer going into senior year of high school! I can also take advantage of this awesome opportunity at my school called Peer Advising. You get paid and you are recognized by the school and get a lot of honors, which is good for grad school (I am applying to the same university). This is something great that I've been wanting to do, so it would be nice.

The reason I want to graduate early so much is because it's driving me crazy to live at home. Nobody respects my personal space or my school work. I can never study at my house and my mom gives me a hard time about staying in the library at night because she's afraid that something is going to happen to me. I also live like right next to my school so it's annoying to drive back and forth every day. I have to drive to my area because my gym is here and all of that. I am not exaggerating about this at all. Like... I really can't study in my house. My family just walks into the bathroom when I am using it (without knocking). I don't have a room as of right now because everyone goes in and out as they please, makes a mess, and now it's like a storage room. I don't fit inside my desk because it's like from fourth grade. My mom doesn't realize all the work I have to do, trying to balance a job with school and all my other responsibilities. She doesn't work or anything, so maybe she just doesn't realize. It's not out of malice. I'm just tired. I love my family, but they are not realizing. I was hoping that I can move into my own apartment once I graduate because I can find a better job. I am studying guidance counseling and I was hoping that I can find a job in a school or something. But, once I have my bachelor's, I am will surely get paid better than what I am getting now. If I were going to another university, I would be living in a dorm. My mom actually wants me to have my own apartment. We live with my grandparents, and she realizes how I feel at my age. She wants to help me. But, she can't because she doesn't have a job right now. I could always ask my dad for the help. But, I'm not going to burden people. I would just need to find a good job that can pay for a place. I live in a very expensive city, so it's hard.

But, what do you think? Do you think that I should graduate early and move out... but risk having to take a year off school? Or should I graduate on time and start looking for a job within a school? My parents are willing to help me with an apartment in which ever way they can. But, they are not willing to pay for a dorm because it is a loss of money... since I live in the same city as my school.
I see different options and benefits out of you graduating school early and taking the summer off and graduating on time. I think that what you do is completely up to you.

If living at home is the only thing affecting your decision about graduating early, why don't you get a dorm? I know that you said that it's expensive to live in your city but how much is it to dorm at your university? You didn't really mention that option in your question, usually dorming is cheaper than living in an apartment and is often covered by financial aid.

Also, there really isn't anything wrong with asking your dad for money. He loves you, you're his daughter and if you're miserable at home he should want to help you. Call him, explain the situation and ask him if he will help you pay for a place, in order to not feel like a burden arrange a payment plan with him for when you get a better job.

Good luck, I hope that I was able to help you!


Q: Im 18/f
over the last couple years i have had very bad luck with guys iv been abused raped made to work on the streets. No one ever found out except for a few people that i told myself after it happend (just friends) my bf just broke up with me for a 3 month trip to Mexico

Iv always been openly into girls but theres none around my area that are into girls or show it.. lately iv been able to sleep with a couple guys to help with my appetite but i wanna settle down with a nice girl to treat right and i donno what to do theres no one around here for me and i can not be in a relationship with a guy again...

Please help me im going through a lot of shit right now..
-SleepiesheeP
If you're attracted to girls there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship with a girl. Sometimes people turn gay or lesbian because they don't feel like they're getting treated the same by the opposite sex, just be aware of the fact that just because you're in a same sex relationship does not necessarily mean that you will find it much better.. I hate to say that to you.

I don't know if online dating is your thing, before I started doing it out of curiosity and really met some of the guys (one of those guys I'm currently with, and he's my longest running relationship) on there I was skeptical about it too. If you are willing to try this, I would recommend to be safe have a friend meet this person with you and go to a public place, such as a restaurant or a mall. My first date with someone that I met online was at Starbucks, I met my current boyfriend at an outlet mall in my area.

P.S. I don't know if you'll view this, but I'm going to try to respond to your feedback I don't think that there's anything wrong with you. Sometimes people go through strains of bad luck with dating, and find themselves in abusive relationships. It is very common for abuse survivors to feel like it is their fault, have you received any counseling for your problems?

Q: Ok im15f and I'm not super or real good at anything. I'm just average in school I get a's and b's and sometimes the occasional c but not only in school in sports I'm ok at them but I'm not good enough to get played which lowers my confidence I feel like a fail. I have no true hobby I'm not creative with my hands in my mind I am but there's no way I can express it cause I suck at writing also I can't speak infront of people like I get way to nervous so things aren't for me. I wanna do something in my life than just be a dud with barely any friends
You may not believe this now but to offer you some reassurance about how you're feeling - you are not a failure, trust me you're not. You're 15 and you still have most of high school left to complete and college. If you want to have better than average grades research study techniques, until you find the method of studying that you like and that helps you get the best results.

As far as not knowing what your real passions and hobbies are, you will discover what you like doing when you get older. Experiment with different crafts that interest you, for example crafts such as jewelry-making, latch-hooking, sewing, knitting, cross-stitching. Writing is a good way of expression, maybe you could get into writing or start reading books? Don't worry if you're not any good at writing first, for some people it takes them awhile.

One of the reasons why it's so hard to be 15 is because you are very much still finding yourself and what interests you, you don't know who you are yet because you are so young. Five or ten years from now, you will be much happier because you will know who you are more.

I hope that I was able to make you feel better in some way.

Q: Hello, I am a 19-year-old girl, and for the past year I have been in a long-distance online relationship with a 50-year-old man. I did meet him in person, but have not seen him for two years, before we got together. I know it sounds weird, but we have made it work. He loves me very much and wants to marry me and have a baby with me. In fact, he's kind of intense about our relationship, and I'm not completely comfortable with the idea of graduating college and having a baby right away. Lately I've been thinking about what it would be like to date someone my own age, who I could actually see in person, and to not feel pressured to have kids right away. While I love my boyfriend, he doesn't give me butterflies anymore. But I don't want to hurt him. He's been with so many women who treated him crappy. If I left him, it would break his heart, and knowing that would break mine. He's told me he would probably give up on love entirely if I left him. What on earth do I do here? :(
You shouldn't sacrifice your own happiness for your boyfriend's.

I'm sorry but it really grosses me out a bit that he's 50 years old and interested in you, you're old enough to be his daughter. I know that age is just a number but I can guarantee you that you have two different life styles. Are you even living on your own yet? I'm sure that he's living on his own and has a full time job, even if you are he has years of experience on you and has been through so many things that you have yet to go through.

It's also not really a relationship if you don't see each other face to face, I know that from experience.

If you want ask to go on a break first, but let him know that during that time you plan on going out with other guys. After your dates see if you're still thinking about him, or if dating someone your age is more appealing to you.

Good luck and let me know what happens :).

Q: I'm 15f I can't stop crying. I don't feel like me I'm a sophomore and I feel like noone truly likes me. I've tried changing and I don't know who I am. I want people to like me but I just feel like I don't belong where I am. I feel selfish for crying and feeling like this crap. But I can't help it. It's sophomore year everyone is in there cliques and I feel like an outsider I lost most of my friends mainly because of separation of classes and they eventually found new people. I think I pushed away people.. I don't know. I just want change in my life I think that I need a boyfriend to make me happy but you guys allways say you don't but wouldn't a friend make me happy. I try to be myself but noone likes me I do have friends just not close ones that idk I feel alone. Please help I feel depressed and I cry everyday
I think that you could possibly have some form of depression, since you mention that you feel like no one really likes you. Why don't you speak to your parents about how your feeling and see if they will let you go to counseling.

However the feelings of wanting to fit in I feel are normal at your age. In order to find true friends and a guy who will love you for you, you have to be yourself. Too many people make the mistake of trying to blend in with the crowd and end up losing themselves.

In order to gain friends are you involved in any clubs or activities? They might help you get your mind off of how you're feeling, and you could possibly meet new people who you would develop to close relationships with.

Why don't you try volunteering, as well? You may be able to meet people close to your age who have the same interests as you do. People that don't live too far away but don't go to your school, it will expand your options and make you feel better about yourself.

I wish you luck!

Q: i cant were a condom cause i have a huge penis what can i do
There are more forms of birth control than just condoms. Do you have more than one sexual partner? If you just have one you can ask her if she'll go on birth control pills. Women usually have a greater choice of contraceptives than men do, how they will soon be coming out with a form of birth control for men. If you are interested in checking it out, you can read this article here: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_60/72_love_answers.html

They also have larger size condoms out there, I don't know how old you are. You didn't state that, are you over 18? If you are, you can go to a sex shop and they will have specialty condoms meant for men with larger penises.

You can also look online to buy them, and these condoms come in a white box, so if you're still living with your parents and have your own debit or credit card you can order them online. Here's a sampler pack that may give you an idea of what brands you like, if you like a specific condom see if you can find them in the drug store or somewhere else: http://www.condomdepot.com/product/detail.cfm/nid/231/pid/2708

Q: i have been single for a little over a year and it's my senior year of high school. i just got over a crush and i'm feeling great and free about not having guys in my life to distract me. but my friends are all complaining about how lonely they are and how badly they want boyfriends. i feel like i'm the only one who's not upset about being single. for me it's like this; i have a job and a ton of homework. i have to worry about where i'm going to college and things like that during the winter cheerleading starts and that takes up all my time so i don't think i'll have time to keep a boyfriend. if i can't have time for myself, how am i going to possibly have time to have a boyfriend? i won't be opposed to having one if the right guy comes along and i'll tell him that i am a busy person and things might be complicated for us but until then, i don't care about having a boyfriend right now. idk is it ok for me to feel so calm about being single and not worried about getting a boyfriend anytime soon? i mean like i almost feel abnormal because i'm not crying every night because i don't have one...
I think that it's perfectly normal to feel good about not having a boyfriend, it just means that you're focusing on your own life. I think that the reason why your friends are so down about not having boyfriends is because everyone reacts to things differently, and you might just be slightly more mature than them. I actually think it's good that you're focusing on other things other than boys, you should enjoy your life without worrying about having a boyfriend :).

Q: Hi,

Here's the question. I've been with my bf for almost 3 yrs now.. and as far as I think.. it seems to be going pretty well..We have even talked about getting married etc...Anyways.. I asked my bf a long while ago how come in all this time I have never been able to come over to your house.. ie: see it or hang out there.. He says that he lives in a small shack kinda condo and is embarrassed to take me there.. Mind u he's seen my place and all. and I'm not ashamed to bring him there.. He comes over all the time.. I just egnored it and thought ok whatever.. then I realized his cousin and his family come over all the time and he has no issues with it so why me.. and secondly.. he always says to me to make more of an effort to get along with his mom... which I try but it works both ways too. not one sided.. and Thanks Giving is coming up.. how come she invited his cousin's family and not me.. I am so confused.. what do I think.. what do I do? does she really like me? does he really want me mixing in with his family? Does he really see a future for us? or just playing me along giving me high hopes... any ideas? I'm soo stressed..
I understand that it's fishy that he's not letting you see his house, as this could be signs of a double life. However I think that it's a good sign that he wants for you to get along with his mother, to me that shows that he wants for you to be included in family events, and rules out the fact that he's living a double life. Guys want to do things to impress their girlfriends, and he may be afraid of you judging him based on what his house looks like, as silly as it sounds after three years of dating.

You really do need to work out these issues with his mom, for most men their mother is an extremely important person in their lives. When his mother says nasty things to you, put a smile and just ignore it. If she says something to you that you find insulting don't say anything back, I know it's hard to do but fighting with his mother is really bad news.

If you are curious as to why she didn't invite you to Thanksgiving, why don't you call her? Do you not know her phone number? Call her and tell her that you know that the two of you don't get along and you think it's time to put your differences behind you, you've spoken to her son and it bothers him that the two most important women in his life aren't getting along very well, and ask her how come she didn't invite you to their house for Thanksgiving. Let her know that the two of you are both major parts of his son's life, and if she can tolerate you for Thanksgiving it would probably mean A LOT to her son.

Best of luck and if you decide to follow my advice, give me feedback and let me know if I helped you at all.

Q: My baby daddy wants to be in our baby's life now and I still have feelings for him how can I tell if he wants to hook up and it's been 8 months and y he just wanna be in his life
I would say let your child's father be in his life for now. Understand that over time his feelings may have changed for you, so he may not feel romantically about you. However if things are meant to be they will be. For now just enjoy your child together, and what's meant to be happen will happen. Basically what I'm trying to tell you is if he wants to be with you, eventually things will fall into place and you will know.

If he does want to be with you again though ask yourself this, is he really worth your time? The guy left you when you were pregnant, that shows a sign of immaturity. There are some guys that will support and stand by their girlfriends when they're pregnant, wouldn't you rather find a guy who would do that for you?

Q: Hi everyone. So I used to attend a private school and my mom moved me to the local public school in our town. I had just finished sixth grade. But since my old school was ahead of the town school, they started me in the eighth grade. It's great, I have A's in all of my classes...except for Algebra. See, I started almost two weeks late and I completely missed when they were explaining the first chapter of the textbook. I put in a ton of time studying but I still got a 67 on a quiz and then today I probably got a C on a test. I am really miserable, can somebody please help me in understanding Algebra 2? By the way, I'm twelve.
There is a site on the web called khanacademy.org, which I absolutely love and think is such a good idea. I would recommend to start from the ground up with the basic math that you're already familiar with and his methods of doing it, only because it can get confusing if you just skip to algebra 2.

This could also be a really great time to make a friend, is there a really smart kid in your algebra 2 class that knows every answer? Try to talk to him or her after class, ask them if they will help you and if they're struggling in a subject that you're doing well in you can offer to help him or her out.

If neither of my first two suggestions don't work, talk to your school guidance counselor or one of your parents and request a tutor. A lot of times schools have an after school homework program, I'm not sure if your school would have that or not. If you're school has a program like that it is a wonderful suggestion because you may be able to make new friends, as well as get help with your math homework.

Everyone else offered some wonderful solutions, I hope that I was able to help you :).

Q: Well my mom is my best friend but sometimes she can be really mean and i don't know why. I mean it's been like this for quite a while, like over a month now, i mean she's 42 and maybe it's the hormones or something but she gets really irrated and she calls me names like patheic or loser, and i really hate when people call me names and when my mom does it it hurts tiwce as much i don't want our friendship to be ruined but i don't know what i should do i mean when ever i tell her to stop being mean she always yells at me saying that i'm the one being childish what should i do?
Talk to her when she's not angry with you, ask here if there's anything personal going on with her life. I don't know what your mom's employment situation is, but in this current economy she could be really stressed out about losing her job and not being able to support you, herself, and the rest of the family.

Also, let her know that it hurts when she's calling you names and you would like for her to try to refrain from doing so. Let her know that you're here to listen but that you think that her calling you names is unacceptable, and hurts you quite a bit.

Q: My GF and I have been dating for about a year. Her apartment lease is about to be up so I asked her if she wanted to move in with me, but she said "no." She has lived with a BF in the past but it didn't work out. She's afraid of what my parents would think, plus she wants to do it right and maybe wait til we're married. She actually owned a house with her previous BF, how can she take that many steps back when she didn't "do it right" the first time. Not sure if that's the reason, but then I'm getting blamed for his actions.

She asked if I was disappointed, and I told her that I was, but didn't want to pressure her into something she wasn't ready for, and wanted her to be 100% committed to the idea before saying yes, so I would support her decision. But deep down I know it's not going to happen for another year or longer, and her not being able to commit to me is killing me inside.

On a side note, she told me that she was ready to be engaged at anytime, but I don't feel comfortable doing that for awhile. So I felt like moving in would show my committment to her even if I can't get a ring yet.

I don't know what to do or say to her about it now.
I don't think that her refusing to sign an apartment lease has anything to do with her not wanting to be committed to you. She already suggested the idea of getting engaged to you, which to me would mean that this isn't an issue of commitment.

She thinks that moving in destroyed her last relationship, and she doesn't want to make the same mistake with you. Moving in together isn't a decision that you should try convince her to do, you'd be forcing her into it which would lead to resentment on her if anything was less than perfect.

Just accept the idea that she doesn't want to move in together, and don't take it as her not wanting to commit to you. Don't let this decision have an impact on your relationship with her.

Let her know that you still love her, and that you're okay with her decision. Good luck with this :).

Q: Hey guys!
Thisis kind of a long story but I could really use any advice..
My boo and I broke up around a month and a half ago and I cant shake him from my head. Its not that im sitting at home moping...i just cant stopconsidering if maybe he was the one for me. We just werent working out and the break up was mutual although he talked about dating in the future. He hasn't said reallly anything to me except wish me a happyyy birthday and tell me he loves me.this was like 2 weeks ago but nothing since.I'm so scared that me going and hanging out with other guys is going to ruin my chances of him coming back but my friends insist that I'm doing the right thing and he isnt whats best for me. I wish I believed them but I just keep thinking of him coming back like he previously has. I know it won't work right now but I feel so empty and like I'm going to be alone forever.it's noy that I have a bad personality or looks, guys seem to be interested in me alot..its just I find things I dont like about them and consider waiting for my ex who honestly kindatreated me badly at times. I reallly want to move on and trust that if its meant to be then it will but I cant help thinking that everything worth while ids hard work...although he should put in the work since he wasthe one who began pulling away. Can someone please help me. I know I cant go back but I'm confused if I'm making a mistake letting him go...please help, havent been this messed up in a while..:(
I don't think that you're making any mistake by breaking up with your boyfriend or your "boo" as you call him. You deserve to be with someone who treats you well, and I've been there in the past, and yes I was crying over him just like you were.

Have you dated before you started going out with this guy? You didn't mention if you did or not, which could help me partially with the question. You also didn't say how long you dated. Breaking up with a long term boyfriend, or your first boyfriend can be really hard on most girls.

The way I got over my most painful break up, in which I cried for three months, was that I stopped talking to him and I started going out with another guy. Sometimes rebounding can help you get over someone, sometimes your rebound relationship can end up being the one. I once dated a guy who broke up with his first girlfriend, a girl that he dated from when he was 13 or 14 to 17 years old, and he broke up with her after trying to get back together with her he discovered that she was in a new relationship. His break up was painful for him but he got over it, and realized that it wasn't a good relationship for him to be in. She ended up getting engaged to the guy that she started dating when she was 17, after the two of them broke up.

Eventually you will definitely get over this, and he will be a thing of the past. For now just hang in there, hang out with your friends, hang out with other guys, meet new people and have fun, go back to life and I promise that you will get over the depression that you're in.

Q: -19 female

Ok, my boyfriend is the nicest person i know. He completely loves me and does so many nice things for me. He doesn't have a car though, so i drive us everywhere and he usually pays for food and other things, because he feels bad for the gas that's wasted that I have to pay for ya kno? Anyways hes a complete sweetheart, and i know it, but i don't appreciate him enough maybe? Like for some reason since he doesn't have a car I get mad at him a lot ,cause i have to pick him up to hang out from his friends or his house. It's just annoying to me that my boyfriend can't be the one driving cause i feel like it should be that way? I really wish i could change my attitude about it ,but i really just don't know how..it's one of those things that just puts me in a mad mood too much and I don't want it to have that affect on me/us anymore. advice?
You may or may not want to hear this, but let me ask you this.

Are you really that interested in him? Maybe him not having a car is your way of venting out your frustration over the fact that you're with someone that you're not interested in. I really don't think it would be matter that he doesn't have a car and can't drive you around if you were.

Someone can treat you really well and have you still not be interested in them. The best thing to do is that since the both of you are still young at this point, and can find other people who will make you happy, just tell him that you don't think that you're as interested in him as you once thought you were and you don't think it's fair for him to be with someone who doesn't feel the same mutual feelings.

Q: I guess im asking this cuz im looking for comfort because i just got rejected by a guy i like he didnt say he did not like me just that he had a girlfriend so now im sad but things could change right?
Staying hung up over him would be a major mistake. Yes, it's possible that he could like you but right now he has a girlfriend. As unlikely as it may be it's possible that he could stay with this girl for years to come. When I was in high school I made the mistake of being infatuated with guys who already had girlfriends and that got me absolutely nowhere.

Also, by telling you that he has a girlfriend it could be a nice way of telling you that he's not interested in you without flat out saying it.

This is probably not the last time in life that you will feel rejected and hurt. I'm not sure if you started dating yet, but when you get older and involved more relationships you will end up with broken hearts. Look at the rejections that you're currently going through as learning experiences that offer a stepping stone until you find the guy that you're going to marry.

Find another guy whose single, and find a way to talk to him. I think that a lot of teenagers make this mistake they find someone that they think is absolutely gorgeous but never talk to them, so they never know what their real personality is like. When I got to know most of the guys that I had liked in high school most of them were complete jerks and I'm glad that I didn't go out with them. You may end up with a boyfriend whose cute and whose personality you absolutely love.

Good luck and let me know how everything goes if you decide to follow my advice.

Q: What does it mean for a guy to say you are naive when it comes to relationships?
When someone says that you're naive it usually means that you're inexperienced. Saying that you're "naive about relationships" means that you're inexperienced and probably not making the best choices in relationships. When you grow older and gain more experience you will be considered "experienced about relationships."

bio
soadorable__x3

Info
Member Since:
December 9, 2010

Answers:
118

Last Update:
July 7, 2015

Visitors:
8046

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker