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Tired of this depression
Hey guys!
Thisis kind of a long story but I could really use any advice..
My boo and I broke up around a month and a half ago and I cant shake him from my head. Its not that im sitting at home moping...i just cant stopconsidering if maybe he was the one for me. We just werent working out and the break up was mutual although he talked about dating in the future. He hasn't said reallly anything to me except wish me a happyyy birthday and tell me he loves me.this was like 2 weeks ago but nothing since.I'm so scared that me going and hanging out with other guys is going to ruin my chances of him coming back but my friends insist that I'm doing the right thing and he isnt whats best for me. I wish I believed them but I just keep thinking of him coming back like he previously has. I know it won't work right now but I feel so empty and like I'm going to be alone forever.it's noy that I have a bad personality or looks, guys seem to be interested in me alot..its just I find things I dont like about them and consider waiting for my ex who honestly kindatreated me badly at times. I reallly want to move on and trust that if its meant to be then it will but I cant help thinking that everything worth while ids hard work...although he should put in the work since he wasthe one who began pulling away. Can someone please help me. I know I cant go back but I'm confused if I'm making a mistake letting him go...please help, havent been this messed up in a while..:(
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Humans are like animals in that we like to keep going back to the same safe place or at least one we take a great deal of comfort in for whatever reason. When we are deprived of that then there is a sense of loss. So everything you're experiencing is very common.
The thing that would help you get over this the quickest is to just completely cut the cord. Don't talk to him at all. Let things just evolve as they're going to without harkening back to a dysfunctional nostalgia. You're not going to die alone because if he wanted to be with you then there are plenty of other guys who would be more than delighted to welcome you into their arms. Like yourself enough so that you realize that.
One thing that might help is to just give yourself 3-6 months in which you are going to do for yourself without worrying about matters of love. It's sort of getting back to the foundation of who you are as an individual rather than what you were when you were coupled.
Now in the far off future, and you should give it a few years, if he decides he wants to give it another go and you're good with that then fine. But see this as a chance to reinvigorate yourself, explore some new things, find some new folks to hang with. Sometimes in loss there is opportunity.
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It's hard to let go of someone you have been with for awhile. You feel hurt and you feel like there is no one in this world who could make you feel like he did. I don't know what is to become of your future. No one knows who they are going to end up with in the end. You talking to him is not going to help you move on and by you thinking that there is a future between the two of you is not helping you move on. Now I'm not saying that it won't work in the future but you can't hold on to that hope. Go out there and be yourself and date and have fun. Life is too short to concern yourself with just him. You have to make you happy and this time is about you not him. Trying be positive and try thinking about yourself and what you want out of life. I hope you feel better!
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I don't think that you're making any mistake by breaking up with your boyfriend or your "boo" as you call him. You deserve to be with someone who treats you well, and I've been there in the past, and yes I was crying over him just like you were.
Have you dated before you started going out with this guy? You didn't mention if you did or not, which could help me partially with the question. You also didn't say how long you dated. Breaking up with a long term boyfriend, or your first boyfriend can be really hard on most girls.
The way I got over my most painful break up, in which I cried for three months, was that I stopped talking to him and I started going out with another guy. Sometimes rebounding can help you get over someone, sometimes your rebound relationship can end up being the one. I once dated a guy who broke up with his first girlfriend, a girl that he dated from when he was 13 or 14 to 17 years old, and he broke up with her after trying to get back together with her he discovered that she was in a new relationship. His break up was painful for him but he got over it, and realized that it wasn't a good relationship for him to be in. She ended up getting engaged to the guy that she started dating when she was 17, after the two of them broke up.
Eventually you will definitely get over this, and he will be a thing of the past. For now just hang in there, hang out with your friends, hang out with other guys, meet new people and have fun, go back to life and I promise that you will get over the depression that you're in.
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