betterthanyou_X3's advice column

ok i have this relly good friend who always calls herself fat, just because shes not as skinny as the anorexic girls on tv, and it relly bugs me i keep telling her that shes not fat and that i dont like it when she talks like that but she still dose. how can i talk to her and make her see shes not fat at all

If all she does is sit around and talk about how fat she is (I hate when people do this with a passion) then say something like "Well I don't think you're fat at all but if you really want to lose a few pounds then maybe you should start working out." Just talking about how fat she is isn't going to make her any thinner so why not suggest she do something about it?

Most girls just say things like that for attention and complements. After she says she's fat she hears all these things like, "OMG!! NO!! You look great!!" And if you tell her to actually work out or eat better, she'll stop. People that are serious about being fat don't announce it to the world.

But, if she's serious then you might want to suggest working out with her and watch her (make sure she's still eating and not starving herself).

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What are some nick names to call guys?
Like they call girls babe and stuff like that.
But what can we call them, that they won't hate?
For like really good friends (friends with benifits) or a boyfriend.

I say babe to guys all the time and they don't seem to mind. Stud is also a good one or Stud Muffin.

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Okay, I don't usually get nervous before performing on stage. I get really nervous during auditions, though and because I'm nervous I perform poorly and I don't get a callback. I hate knowing that I could do really well, but blowing it because I'm nervous. Does anyone know how I can overcome my audition nerves? I will rate high. Thanks.

This is what I was always taught:

Right before you go on, take a nice, long, deep breath. It really helps you calm down so you aren't as nervous. But also, take that nervous energy that you have and put it into your performance. Instead of pacing, rubbing your hands, or whatever nervous habit you have, use that extra energy to make bigger gestures, enunciate, and increase the volume of your voice.

Stage fright is a good thing, believe it or not because of the fact that you have all that extra energy. You just need to learn to use it to your advantage.

You're going to get many of declines for shows, plays, whatever you're auditioning for before you actually get cast but do NOT let that discourage you. Every time you audition, you get that much better.

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why do guys lead on girls one day then the next flirting with 3 or 4 other ones. i really thought this guy and i had something. i truly did.

Once you find out, please tell me too!

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Hey :D well my eyes have always bothered me.. i have kinda darker brown eyes..sometimes they change to hazel but i wear black eyeliner and everything seems so dark! my eyes seem so boring i get so jealous of blue and green eyes (lighter eyes) because they stand out so much and are so much prettier! is there anyting i could do to make my eyes like stand out more or look prettier? ive heard about doin something with eyeshadow but im soo bad with makeup and stuff! and everytime i try to do the smokey eye or whatever it seems to make my eyes darker! by the way im 16/f! and i do not want colored contacts..i know i have to live with my eye color but i just want to know if there is anything i could do to make them stand out more??!
thanks so much

Black or dark brown eyeliner is always good with brown eyes. But not too much. Like you said, it just makes them darker. What you want to do is put a THIN layer of eyeliner across your eye lid.

Then, use a shimmer beige above the eyeliner. Not all over your eye lid, just a layer before the crease. That'll highlight your eyes. Then take either a light pink or a purple and dab it on the outside corners or your eyes and maybe a little over the beige. That'll bring out the brown of your eyes.

Brown eyes can be just as pretty as blue or green eyes! You just have to know how to bring them out.

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hello this may seem weird, but what is the english meaning of "Asalamu Alikum warahmatu Allahi wabarakatu". if you can help i would greatly apprecitate it. thank you

Its Arabic. It means "Peace, God's mercy, and His blessings, be upon you"

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I've had my license for almost a month now and my mom STILL won't let me drive alone! The insurance they pay, the money they spent on drivers ed, and me getting my license were all a complete waste of time and money! What good is all that stuff if I can't use them?

Well, I talked to my mom about it yesterday and she said she'd think about it.

We were out shopping today and on our way home she dropped off a prescription at Walgreens. When we were leaving, she said that I could come pick up the prescription when it was ready, ALONE :D!! Exciting, right?!! NOT!!!

When it was time to pick up the prescription, she said I COULDNT GO! How messed up is that? I mean seriously, if she wasn't going to let me go, then why get my hopes up?? I was all ready to go too.

That just got me so upset it's like I can't even trust her. I would have been okay if she never said that I could go in the first place because I was used to it but when she told me I could go when we were leaving Walgreens, I got so excited.. I told her that she was ridiculous and that she shouldnt change her mind like that and went upstairs. I don't normally talk back to my parents but wouldn't you but really mad? I don't know what to do it pisses me off so much!

That sucks, damn. But what I would do is, you know how parents are always talking about how they hate driving their kids around so much? My mom always says she feels like a taxi driver. haha Well anyway, start asking her to drive you more and more places. After a little bit, she'll get tired of it and just give you the keys.

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Why when i'm singing, do i yawn every verse or so. I try to hold it back, but i just feel like i need to yawn. Espacially when i take a breath
If anyone knows why this happens or how to fix it, it would be a great help!

It isn't because you're tired, it's because you aren't getting enough oxygen. When you feel like you need to yawn, start taking in deeper breaths next time you breathe.

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I'm really nervous that this weekend at the beach I will get my period. My mom hasn't got me tampons yet cause I haven't even had my period for half a year. I can't go in the ocean and stuff though. And I am really scared I will get it over the fourth of July at the beach when MY WHOLE FAMILY is there. I want to perticipate in stuff and not worry about my period. What can I do?

Don't complain to your mom.

Instead, go up to her and be like "Mom, you know how we're going to be beach this weekend? Yeah well, I'm supposed to get my period then so I'll have to wear a pad and you're not supposed to go in the water with a pad on! I want to be able to have fun!" She'll either suggest tampons or ask you what you want to do about it (that's when you tell her you're ready for tampons).

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If the clothes from abercrombie are so...thin....why do they cost so much?
And I don't want this to sound mean, but why do so many people buy their clothes there, just for them to shrink in the laundry?

Actually, it's only some of Abercrombie's knits that are thin. Their polos are not and their tees are actually pretty thick. And most of their clothes are pre-shrunk and don't shrink when you dry them. Their clothes are pretty good quality.

They cost so much because it aims for the upper middle class teens and college student. If you like their clothes and have the money, then shop there. If you don't, then don't shop there.

Just fyi though, if you look at American Eagle's clothes, they're the ones that have the extremely thin material. Almost all of their girl tees are see through that's why I don't shop there anymore. haha

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Will tennis help me to stay in shape for track?

It'll help you stay in shape but it won't do you that good for track. You probably need something with more running. You could always just go for a run everyday and try to improve your time each day or every few days.

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k i was reading ur advice for something on depression. it was outlets for depression. but anyway u say that depression is just people moping around sitting in the dark. it is more than that and its not something a lot of people can recover from without help from doctors or meds. i just wanted to tell you depression takes over your body and makes you feel like crap, sad, and emotional and a lot more things too. you cant just recover by just getting out and hanging with your friends because when you are depressed you kind of feel like everything is your fault and dont want to hang out with people. it pretty much takes over your brain basically. i just wanted to tell you this not being mean or anything so please dont take it the wrong way. i just wanted to kind of let you know how it feels. thank you

Well yeah, for some people, it takes more than that for them to get over but for alot, it's just the dark thoughts that are always in their minds. If someone is always having these dark thought and aren't happy and don't do anything about it, then it's just going to get worse.

But by surrounding yourself with people you love, you ACTUALLY love and doing something that you ACTUALLY like, it really helps, ALOT. I've had a family member that was depressed and he never wanted to do anything but once we got him out and about, he started feeling better, like he didn't have to feel all sad all the time.

Thats just the way I see it from experience. I've also had friends and family on the meds as well and they just didn't seem right to me. It was almost as if they could feel nothing but happiness and that isn't always a good thing.

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13/f. I was bra-shopping for something strapless with my tube top, and I couldn't find anything that was 32A (damn...the bra companies expect everyone to look like Barbie!!!). The 34A was too loose, so I had to settle with the 34A pushup bra. What I need to know is, are padded bras stupid? I don't want to be tacky.

Actually, sometimes padded bras do look kind of stupid. You know when you're out and you can TELL that a girl is wearing a padded bra? That looks super dumb. But if there's just enough padding JUST to add shape then yeah, that looks good.

Pushup bras, on the other hand are totally okay because they don't look fake. All they do is push your boobs up. If you have to wear a padded or pushup bra because a 34A is too small then definatly go with the push up.

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Salam. i am a revert and started to attend Masjid recently. well i have no one to teach me what is okay so this may sound kind of stupid, but does it matter if your hijab has patterns on it as long as it covers everything but face and hands? thank you

No, it doesn't matter if it has patterns on it.

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My hair is not easily curled. It takes me about 2 hours to actually get it curled with a curling iron and half the time it doesn't even look the way i want it to. I have tried curling gels and scrunching, but none of it has worked. I want my hair to stay curly for about a day or so...And quick to style. Does anyone know how?

Two things you can try.

One:
Use those old fashion curlers. You know the ones that you roll your hair up in and leave in for a few hours. You can sleep in them too. So put your hair up in those and after you take them out, put hair spray over every curl. And ALOT of it. Make sure you use GOOD hair spray so it won't go soft.

Two:
Each time you curl a section of your hair with your curling iron, immediately spray it. It'll make the curls stay in shape longer.

And you could always get a curly perm if you want it to stay for a couple of weeks.

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Hey all! Well, I need new eyeglasses, and I really like the ones from Chanel, so if anybody knows where to get them and Chanel sunglasses too, and how much would they cost I would really appreciate them. Also, I heard you could get them at like LensCrafers, but do they sell the real Chanel eyeglasses? Thanks.

P.S.-I'm 14/f and I live in Maryland.

You need to check with your local eye places and see if they have them. I live near a TSO (I think they're only in Texas) and they have designer glasses but the TSO across town doesn't. So, if someone said that Lens Crafters have them, it doesn't mean that ALL the Lens Crafters locations do. See what I'm saying?

So, just get a phonebook and start calling places.

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i recently learned that one of my very close friends is bisexual. She didnt tell me, i just kinda found out through the grapevine. Well, I'm fully supportive of her and everything, but I just dont know how to deal with it. How do i tell her I know? I dont want things to be different between us, because we're really good friends. Help please.
Sincerely,
Confused

Well, if you heard it by a he said, she said type thing then it might not be true. I'd think that if you're really close to her, she would have told you before everyone else found out.

But ask her if it is. Say, "Hey it's going around school that you're bi and I was just wondering if it's true or if it's jsut a stupid rumor. If you are, it's totally cool, I was just wondering."

And things don't have to be different if she is bi. They won't get different if you don't let them. Stay friends with her and hang out//talk to her as you normally woud.

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