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sexual orientation
i recently learned that one of my very close friends is bisexual. She didnt tell me, i just kinda found out through the grapevine. Well, I'm fully supportive of her and everything, but I just dont know how to deal with it. How do i tell her I know? I dont want things to be different between us, because we're really good friends. Help please.
Sincerely,
Confused
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First of all, don't believe rumors. Just ignore it, and put it out of your mind. Unless she tells you that she is bi, don't believe it. Go to her and say, first off, that it makes no difference to you if she is or not, and then explain that you heard a rumor and wanted to know if it was true or if some idiot with a grudge was just trying to ruin your friend's good name. Things may be awkward at first, but it won't take too long to go back to normal. I'm bi, and it took me a while to fully come out to my friends. They didn't care, and said that they loved me anyway. I don't get crushes on them, and if I mention a girl I think is hot, they react the same way they would if it was a guy. If anything, this will make you even closer--this is pretty personal. If at first she lies or avoids telling you, don't worry about it. Like I said, it took me a really long time to tell my friends, and that may be the reason that she hasn't told you about it.
-Lea
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tell her how you feel if you dont things will get worse in your friendship..AbBeY!!
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its gossip. and according to a local saying,
"if da no so, da naily soh"
In other words, if it is not like that, it is nearly like that. SO it is not too far from the truth.
Just tell her you know that she is one when you too are alone together. Or ask her if it is true. And tell her that you don't care. And to make the atmosphere more suitable, start the conversation as one of those revealing ones, and make sure you cry out some secret that might be a dark secret, or you don't care if the whole world knows. then after that, ask her. if all is well, she will spill everything to you. It is a play on trust if you catch my drift.
Yeah, thats my advice.
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well, first off gossip hearing is far from the truth in many ways. I'd tell her, that you've heard things, and ask if they're true. and if they are, tell her it's okay with you, don't like your opinions change from who she is. Because you can't change that, and I'm sure you've liked her from the start because of who she was.
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Since this is probably quite a difficult time for her right now (especially if she didn't mean the fact she is bisexual to get out), the best thing you could probably do is to just talk to her about it in a very open and honest way, so that she knows you are okay with it.
Arrange to meet her out somewhere, go shopping or something and talk to her. Try something along the lines of "Look, I heard a rumour that you were bisexual and I'm not sure if it is true or not but I want you to know that if it IS true, I still want to be your friend and it doesn't change anything with our friendship. If it isn't, then at least you know the rumour is going round." Hopefully, this will show her that you don't have a problem with it and if the rumour is true, she should open up to you about it and life can go on as normal.
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Honestly you don't have to tell her. If she wants to tell you on her own time thats fine. Or if you think it is true and you want her to know than you can play it cool by saying.... Well i have been hearing rumors that you are bi? Is this true? If it is I fully support you. And I don't want things to change between us. So really it depends if you think she needs to know or not. Hope this helps. Good Luck In The Future.
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If you heard it through the grapevine, it may or may not be true. In the case that it is true and your friend just hasn't told you about it yet.. don't worry about letting her know that you know. She will tell you when she feels ready to. The most important thing you can do is not to let your friendship be compromised because of her sexuality. Don't feel like you have to do anything different or treat her differentlly than you would have normally.
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Well, if you heard it by a he said, she said type thing then it might not be true. I'd think that if you're really close to her, she would have told you before everyone else found out.
But ask her if it is. Say, "Hey it's going around school that you're bi and I was just wondering if it's true or if it's jsut a stupid rumor. If you are, it's totally cool, I was just wondering."
And things don't have to be different if she is bi. They won't get different if you don't let them. Stay friends with her and hang out//talk to her as you normally woud.
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