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Q: ok so i've been going out with this unbelievebly sweet kid, ryan, for like 3 weeks now and my BEST friend is getting really jelious. i love ryan and am not going to break up with him but my friend cant even stand to see us together. i dont want to lose my best friend but i'm not willing to give up my boyfriend... what should i do? there are plenty of guys who have asked my friend, aubrey, out but she denies them all. i dont know what to tell her.

Maybe your friend has a valid reason as to why she doesn't like your boyfriend. Have you changed at all since you have started dating this guy? Do you find yourself talking about him, and you and him, non-stop when you are around her? Have you been pushing your friendship with her aside to be with your boyfriend? All of these things could play a factor as to the reason why she is jealous of him. To me, friends always come first. Because your boyfriend can dump you anyday, and where would you be then? Without a friend because you ignored her while you were dating him. Talk to her, and find out the exact reason as to why she is jealous of him. Let her know that you love her as a friend, and that you don't mean to do things that would jeapordize your relationship with her.

Q: me and my boyfriend have been going out for 10 months and his mom found notes about us having sex and both of us are really christain and love eachother so much.. otherwise we wouldnt had done that ... and his mom n dad freaked and he was away and i was here and then i went away and i didnt see him for 10 days... he picked me up frome the airport and everything seemed ok that night.. then that morning he seemed weird... and now i feel like hes avoiding me and doesnt love me anymore... he never calls me or acts like he cares... we have almost been togather for a year and i cant imagine my life without him. hes my bestfriend and boyfriend.. and i couldnt lose both.. but now both of his parents think im a slut and dont like me. i think they are getting to him. i was soposed to hang out with him tmmr and have a talk with his parents so that they will let him come over again... but then he said he couldnt because he had a birthday party to go to. im torn. i love him so much. i dont know what to do about him. or what to do if his parents are mean to me... i know i should stand up for myself. but im scared and dont know what to do.

You need to speak up for yourself. You have been with this guy for almost a year, if he is your bestfriend as well as your boyfriend, then you should be able to talk to him about any and everything. Talk to him privately one day, away from everyone else, and ask him what is wrong with him. Tell him that you have noticed that he has been acting differently around you every since his parents have found out that you and him have had sex. Let him know that you are confused as to why he won't talk to you when something is bothering you. If he cares at all about you, he will tell you the reason as to why he has been acting strange. It could be because of his parents, and their knowledge of ya'lls private life. Maybe he is getting some negative attention from them because of that. Communication is the key. Talk to him and work through ya'lls problem as soon as possible before you and him drift apart.

Q: I'm 16, i get told i'm pretty, 5'3, 120lbs, brown hair and eyes, sophmore, friendly, funny, and i love just about everyone... ok well thats the 411 on me but theres a huge problem with it: I'm sick of being single! Ive been single for waaaayyyy too long now. I want a real relationship that lasts! I used to like this one guy who just got out of a really long relationship, so that obviously didnt work out so well... then i started liking this other guy who goes to another school (i still kinda like him now too but things are confusing) and i THINK he likes me too. He's let me drive his car w/o my permit, he's taken me to this romantic park that i really wanted to go to so i metioned it to him and he surprized me, he didnt smoke for a week because i dont like it, he's spontaneously stopped by my house to pick me up, he takes pics of me on his camera and he left a message on my phone last week saying that he was looking through them and seeing me made him happy so he thought he'd call me... basically hes done adorable things like that! but the problem his he has a gf that he got after i started having a thing for him... i heard about it before he talked to me about it and he said "do you think i was sober when i asked her out?? no.." and "youre better than her, thats why i'm more worried about you being mad right now than even being with her" but yet like 3 weeks later he's STILL going out with her. I have a feeling he likes me, but since i'm not a skank i wont do all the things that his "gf" will do with him (i wont do them especially because he has the gf now). I think that he's falling for me and my personality but he's still with her because he wants some.. but i dont want that at all! I want a boyfriend who will love me for me.. i dont want to get played!!! what should I do?? PLEASE

This guy is a player. Point blank. He doesn't want to be with just you because you won't have sex with him. It seems as if he likes you for the conversation, and he loves being around you because of your personality, but he won't make a commitment to you because of your values. (As in, not sleeping with him.) I don't understand how you can like a guy, knowing that he is sleeping with someone else while flirting with you. If he had any respect for you, and liked you half as much as you like him, then he would have already of broken up with his girlfriend to be with you. Since he has not done that, or made any attempts to do that, then he has no intentions of being with anyone besides her for now. If he can go out with a girl while he is drunk, then sobers up and still doesn't break up with her, then what kind of person is he? Focus your attention on a guy that is more worthy. He is not worth your time.

Q: Hey me and my girlfriend broke up and i still liked her and i told her that then on my profile it said I LOVE YOU ****** and she e-mailed me tellin me to take it off and about how her and her friend were lookin at it and stuff like that and then she was like From Your Best Friend lol and that made me mad what should i do?

*****I RATE HIGH*****

You need to leave this girl alone. Obviously she doesn't care about your feelings or that fact that you love her. The more you try to be friendly or get back together with her, the more she will hurt you. Just let her go, and if she comes back to you on her own, then it was meant to be.

Q: i was out the other day and met my sisters mates who were drunke.ive always kinda nown that my sister is gay but i thought it was just a phase. they lat it slip that she was gay and she had a girlfriend.i havent talked about it to my sister yet and was wondering if anyone has been in my situation and what did they do.im not ashamed by it but im just shocked,do u think its still a phase? please get back to me soon. xx

No, I don't think this is a phase. Someone knows when he/she likes someone of the same sex. It is a feeling that has been with them for awhile, not one that just pops up one day. Just talk to her sister. If you want her to be open and honest with you, then you need to do the same for her. Talk to her and let her know that her friends accidentally slipped and told you something, and you just wanted to know if it was try. Tell her that you will love her no matter what, but you would rather know then to think about it as a rumor. Let her know that you are not ashamed of her sexuality, but that you are hurt that she didn't tell you about it. If your sister cares about you, she will tell you the truth.

Q: my friends brother is coming home from jail at the end of the summer.. her mom is always in a bad mood and her sister has to go to a psychologist because she has problems with her brother.. i feel so bad for my friend.. and she knows there are gonna be more problems when he comes home because her mom will want him to stay in the house and her dad will want him out and her brother never listens... i know its gonna be hard for her and i just want to help her.

The only thing that you can do for your friend right now is be just that, a friend. Listen to her when she needs to talk, be her shoulder when she needs to cry, hug her when she's said and pick her up when she's down. Let her know that your house is her sanctuary whenever she needs it. Invite her over for the weekend when you know that the pressure at her house is getting to be too much. Write her little pick-me up notes during the day when you know she has had a bad night. You can't fix her family problems, but you can devote a listening ear and a dedicated heart to her. I hope the situation with your friend doesn't get too bad.

Q: I feel so bad that my mama and me dont always get along. She's my real mom and we have an arguement like 75 percent of the time we're together. she usually starts it. she'll yell at me about my attitude. and i would yell at her and shell get all mad at me and i get mad at her. sometimes she comes to apologize. but one time i told her off when she was trying to apologize then she yelled at me and she doesnt apologize anymore. now when we argue, it wears off. sometimes i go 2 days without talking to her but i dont want to. i wish i could get along with her. the sad thing is that i really need her. i cant wish for her to go away because i need her no matter how much we dont get along. she just doesnt understand me she tries to help me but ends up making things worse and i know its not her fault we just argue more than we spend time together even when we are spending time together. im sorry this is so long but i dont know what to do. can somebody help me?

Then you need to make your mother listen to you. Sit her down and tell her exactly how you are feeling, and be strong about it. Let her know that you love her very much, and that all of this fighting between the two of you is hurting you a lot. Tel her that you miss the days when you and her didn't argue, and you wish that you and her could go back to them days. Let her know exactly how you feel, bare you soul. If you can communicate better in writing, then write her a very long and detailed letter. Mothers are human too, and sometimes when they make mistakes or hurt other people's feelings, they may not realize it and need to be told about it. It is good that you want a strong relationship mother, and hopefully after this talk or letter she will understand that.

Q: ok im the girl who asked this ? ok me and my bf just broke up last night ok and it was all becuz i told him the truth about something i told him that i was starting to have feelings for someone else and i mean i hadn't cheated on him or anything me and the other guy just talk alot and i think im starting to have feelings for him and my ex was asking me what was wrong and i told him and i told him becuz i felt like i was lying to him and i didn't want to feel that way ne more and now he thinks im imature and sex hungry for some reason which im not i not stupid and i don't plan on doing any of that kind of crap any time soon just cuz the fact my parents would kill me and cuz im to young......so really who's being the imature one here me or him??? and should i have told him?? i mean was it a stupid mistake telling him or did i do the right thing???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok now heres the thing i just found out from one of my bestest friends in the world i mean she wouldn't lie to me about anything ok that my ex made out with this chick on a chorus trip and it was in florida when it happened and what not but when i confronted him about it he says what happens somewhere else stays there im just wonder if thats RIGHT in any kind of way.......becuz he made me feel guilty for just talking to another guy and he effin made out with another chick so do you think thats right........

I think you are very much so the mature one in this situation. You told your ex how you felt. You were both truthful and honest about how you felt because you didn't want to feel as if you were hiding something behind his back. You spoke up for yourself, even when you knew there could have been consequences, and I applaud you for that. There is nothing wrong with having the feeling of like towards another boy. That will happen throughout your lifetime, even when you are older and married. (Trust me, I know because I am both older and married.) Your ex is hurt by what you told him, and therefor, he is trying to make you feel just as hurt as him. The rumor about your boyfriend could or couldn't be true. But he's not going to tell you the truth right now. He is WRONG when he says what happens somewhere else stays there. If that is the case, then he is saying that he could cheat on you with another girl somewhere else and not even feel bad about it because it was somewhere else. I think it is best that you and him stay broken up. Someone who thinks like that can't be trusted in a relationship.

Q: ok im 14 1/2 ok and theres this awesome guy at my school and i mean i like him and i think he likes me i mean he goes to church and everything job but the thing is he's 17 and ive heard rumors saying that guys make bets and crap on the freshmen to see how fast they can get into there pants i mean im not going to do anything like that but i don't want to be apart of a cruel joke so should i take the chance and go out with him or no..................

First of all, that age difference is not really that far apart, but it might be far apart to make your parents uncomfortable. I noticed also that you have only said that you like him. Not once did you mention whether or not either one of you have had a conversation or formed a friendship with each other. It is all fine and dandy if you want to take a chance and go out with him, but has he shown any interest towards you to suggest that he is mutually interested? Be a friend to him first, and get to know his personality. It is always better to start out as friends.

Q: hi im 15 and every night and morning i have an itch 'down below'. and it wont go away. its really annoyin me and i darent tell my mom.
please help...what can i do?! xxx

You really need to see a doctor hon. If you haven't been sexually active, then the buring and itching could be a simple yeast infection. But if you have been sexually active, then what you have could be an STD. Since you don't want to tell your mom, I suggest you go to your local health clinic and get tested. It is free and it is a place where your mother won't find out that you have visited.

Q: ok i have this boyfriend and his soo awesome! we have been daten for 2weeks and we had sex last night! i've been "talking" with him since feb. but sometimes i feel like he doesn't care about me that much! and his always kind of mad at me..but i know his not cuz he got kicked outta his house 2weeks ago and he has to find a place to stay like everynight so it's not like i can talk to him...but he is pretty good about calling me and letten me know where he is staying at...that is if theres a phone around! but for some reason i'm so worried about him..i'm always woundering where is at and what his doing and who his with...he graduated last yr and i'm only in 10th...so when i'm at school that is when i worry...he has the friend that i don't like to much but yet his cool i don't like my boyfriend hanging out with him because i don't trust my boyfriend with him my boyfriend knows that i don't i like him with him...because i feel like his going to cheat on me when he is with his friend! i just don't know what to do about out relationship...cuz i do like him alot ((like not love)) and he gave me a promise braclett promiseing that he would never hurt me!!
i'll rate!

I am going to be blunt with you, and I don't care about the rating, because what I am about to say is going to be blunt and harsh.

Why would you sleep with a guy after only dating for two weeks? You said so yourself that you don't love him and that you feel like he doesn't care about you that much. If you have been having these feelings toward him, then why would you have sex with him? To please him? To make him happy? or To make him not be mad at you all of the time?

Right now, your boyfriend will not be able to show you the attention that you need because he has too much stress going on in his life right. First of all, he doesn't know where he will be staying from day-to-day. I am sure that takes more precedent then your feelings.

If you have to wonder about what he is doing and who he is with all of the time, then your relationship is all wrong.

You need to seriously reevaluate your relationship with this guy. There are too many ifs here. You are only in the 10th grade and you have too much stress on you. Whenever you get a chance to have a serious talk with your boyfriend, then you nee to ask him how he feels about you. Truthfully. And tell him exactly how you feel about him. Ask him what he is willing to contribute to the relationship. If he doesn't give you a good answer, then you need to let him go.

Q: When my boyfriend and I talk on the phone, he always switches over to another call. Well with his phone I am able to hear the voices, and it's ALWAYS another girl's voice.. could he be cheating on me? How do I bring this up with him...

Tell him exactly what you just told us. Tell him that when he answers his call waiting, you can still hear his conversation and you have noticed that there have been girls on the other end a few times. Tell him that you don't have a problem with him being friends with other girls, but you would at least like to know who he is friends with. If your boyfriend is a good person, he will tell you the truth. It could be that it is all one big misundertanding.

Q: okay well i rlly rlly like this guy and we flirt a lot...but the problem is that i'm 14 and he's 16...he thinks it would be wrong to go out w/ me b/c im still in middle school...but i don't think its wrong at all b/c everyone else does it...do you think he's scared or that he doesn't like me?,...please helpp

To tell you the truth, I think he would be embarrassed to tell his highschool friends that he is dating someone in middle school. Though it may sound silly, guys have a reputation that they would like to maintain, and telling everyone what school you are in would result in funny looks and whispers. There is a good chance that he likes you, but the timing could be all wrong.

Q: ok so my boryfreind came into work today to introduce me to his best freind...i was excited about meeting her, till i saw her. She was gorgous, exactly how my boyfreind used to explain how i looked wen he first met me...tall long black hair, tan, skinny...spet shes prettier then i am...least i think she is. I know he would never cheat on me, cuz he loves me, and i love him..blah blahl blah,...but now that i met her i feel completly uncomforatable with my boyfreind bieng around her...ahh i hate bieng jealous..what should i do?

Jealousy is a feeling that will eventually go away with time. Obviously your boyfriend only likes her in a friend way, because I am sure if he could date her, he would have or would be doing so now. If you have faith in your boyfriend, then you have nothing to worry about. Trust him when he says that he likes/loves you. He was thoughtful enough to introduce her to you. He is obviously proud of you, and wants everyone that is close to him to know how he feels about you.

Q: I'm babysitting this little boy and he wont listen to me at all. I told him it's time to eat, he wouldnt eat. He also wont go to sleep... I need help before the parents get home because I want to be asked again to babysit for them!

I don't understand why you would want to babysit for a child that will not listen to you. Since I am a mother, I have some experience with bad children. You need to tell the little boy that you are babysitting that if he won't eat (or do anything else that you ask him) that he won't be able to play with his toys or watch tv until he does. Tell him if he does what you ask him, then afterwards you will award him with a treat. This treat could be candy, extra tv time, or one-on-one playtime with you. When it is time for him to go to bed, tell him that if he gets in bed, you will read one story to him of his choice and then he has to go to bed. Be firm with him.

Q: I am 20 and I am 300 lbs, I am also female which raises the cruelity level up a few notches. I desparetly need new deit tips so I can lose the extra flab.

The best thing for you to do would be to join some kind of health/fitness club that monitors your weight on a weekly basis and comes up with a weight loss plan for you. I did some research on the internet, and here are the best sites that I could find:

http://www.curvesinternational.com/
http://www.weightwatchers.com/index.aspx
http://www.drphil.com/weightloss/weightloss_landing.jhtml?section=Weight%20Loss%20Challenge

Also, talk to your family doctor, and see if he can come up with a plan for you that is designed specifically to your body. Then you could try to join a spa or gym and talk to a counselor to see if they could come up with an exercise plan that would work for you. Some gyms also have personal trainers.

I hope that this little bit of information helps.

Q: hi, im 16/f i have this friend who has a bf and everything is different now that she has one, we have been fighting so much, we went 2 months with out talking, i was fine with it b/c i didnt have to put up with all of her bull shit, all she ever talked about was her bf, and if not that then just everything about her, and if i tryed to talk about like a guy i liked she'd get mad at me bc "im selfish" and we hardley ever talked about me or my problems, it was always about her. at first it didnt bug me, but then it got to be too mch so i called her on it and she got so mad at me and called me selfish, so thats why we stoped talking those couple months, now were talkign again, and it's worse then ever i can hardly stand her. sould i call her on it again, or just leave things the way they are? plz some one help me!! thanks

It is time that you let this friendship go. Your friend is the one being selfish, not you. Friendship is a two way street, you are holding up your end of the bargain but she isn't. It is okay to talk about your boyfriend every once in awhile, but not excessively. Her problem is that she is making her boyfriend the center of her world, and pushing all of her friends away. If she can't realize that you have feelings too, and that you need to vent and talk about your problems sometimes, then she is not worth trying to make ya'lls friendship work. Talk to your friend privately and in a calm way and let her know how you are feeling. Tell her that you are glad that the two of you are talking again, but you have noticed lately that she has been doing what she did before again. Tell her that you want to remain friends with her, but it upsets you when she talks about her boyfriend so much and puts her priorities above yours all of the time. If she gets mad again this time, tell her that her friendship is not worth all the pain and stress and that you are better off without her.

Q: im in student gov and we have to plan the spring dance. does anyone have any ideas for a theme? plz no under the sea or hawiian. thnx!

What about a Mardi Gras theme? I think that would be nice. Everyone could get beads when they come into the door, and you could decorate the area where the dance is going to be in a Mardi Gras theme.

If I can think of anything else, I will edit my answer.

Q: ok well my ex friend and i were friends ever since we were born!! and all the sudden july (which is the month of my b-day )we quit being friends. becuz we always plan stuff together like plan our b-days togetherand stuff and i had not seen her since feb we just talkd on the phone and online and stuff so one of her other friend came back from out of town the week we had planned our get together for my b-day and she said that she couldnt come becuz her friend got back from out of town. well we have planned that get together for 2 months. and i was mad and she said i shouldnt get mad that she has other friends. Do u think i should be mad??

Yes, you have every right to be mad. Your friend bailed out on you without notice. Two months is a long to plan a get together, the least she could have done is still come to the get together and invite her friend. You need to call her up and explain to her how important this get together is to you, and ask her if she would be willing to bring her friend to it. Let her know that you aren't mad because she has other friends, you are mad because you put your time and effort into something, not just for yourself but for her too, and she totally brushed you off without taking into consideration your feelings. If you friend still refuses to come, or to compromise with you, then I think you need to find some a new friend.

Q: 13/F Going On 14 =)
Okay...my so called best friend Vallorie,Hannah,and Becca...in school the other day ditched me! I always wait for them in classes but i was walking with them and they just ran the other way. It was so sad. I dont know why they did it but im very confused. So i didnt see them the rest of the day. We are supposed to have an easter party tommorow but i dont know what i am going to do? HeLp Me tY =)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Kristie*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It looks as if you are making a big deal out of nothing. Your friends could have just been trying to be funny. If they hurt your feelings, then you should tell them that. Ask them what was the point of them running the other way. You should call them up on the phone tonight and talk to them about what happened so you don't feel uncomfortable around them during the Easter party tomorrow.

bio

I am a 22 year old mother of two that has had to grow up a lot faster then her years. I have been married for four years, but now am seperated from my significant other due to lack of his being able to handle a mature relationship. I can relate to almost anyone, and have been sought out, both online and off, for my advice. I answer all questions truthfully and honestly. If I don't know an answer to a question or I think other resources would be helpful, then I go into researh mode until I find an answer or the proper resource. I aspire to be a life coach in the future, because I like helping people make decisions to make their life better for their future. I am here not only to answer advice questions on this site, but to also chat with you if you feel like you need a more indepth one-on-one help.

Here are some of the guidelines I go by when answering advice questions:

I am always truthful in any advice I give.
I would never give anyone any advice that I would not follow myself.
I take into consideration your feelings when answering questions, but I will not sugar coat anything. If you are wrong, then you are wrong and I will tell you so.
If I cannot answer a question to the best of my ability, then I will point you to someone who can, or I will research my butt off until I find a helpful solution for you.