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advice

I want to pernamentley straighten my hair, but my mom won't let me. I am planning to pay for it. My mom still won't let me because, as she says, you will look like a wet muskrat, just like everyone else with stick straight hair.

But I am getting a haircut, and it will be shoulder length. My hair is EXTREMELY poofy, no matter what kind of shampoos or serums I use. When I straighten it with a straightener, which takes about an hour and a half (which I don't have time for) it gets really nice and silky, and the poof disapears.

I think I really need this: I only wear my hair down when I straighten my hair, which is about four times a year. Otherwise I wear it in a pony tail, which makes me feel like a tomboy.

How do I convince my mom to let me? I am 16 by the way.

Hun, my mom is the same way. You cannot convince her of ANYTHING! So what you should do is buy it and do it yourself. It isnt real expensive and it is similar to dying your own hair. If you arent comfortable doing it yourself you can always go to a hair salon. You can always say you are going to a friends house for a little while and then go there and get it done. At the salon it will be more expensive so if you go that route call and ask the price and how long it usually takes. Hope I helped.

~Sherah

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i'm 14/f...and a 9th grader

so i think i like this guy. and idk if he likes me. and i've been fooled many times before so i don't want to be sure he doesn't like me. so i barely see him in skool cuz there's 2000 students in my skool. and when i do see him he smiles at me..and if i walk by him he goes,"you can't say hi?"[and he's still smiling] and it's not like in a RUDE Tone...he says it so sexy..lol [sorry]..so i don't know if i should move on or stick to him. he's a 10th grader and probably 16 yrs. old!!!
and school will be done next monday..so will it even matter because skool is ending??? '
so basically i want to know if he likes me? and shud i take the chance? what should i say to him if i see him in the halls? just please tell me everything i need to know about this. sorry but i'm an amateur and not too many boys have liked me in the past!!! ThAnx iN AdVaNcE!!!

Yes he is definetly interested. Any guy that says that like you because they say it to strike up a conversation. So the next time you seem him say something like, "Hey, Im actually saying hi this time. So school is almost out and I am going to be soooo bored this summer. So if you want to hang out sometime give me a call." Then hand him a piece of paper with your number and see what he says. Since it is the end of school why does it matter? Exactly. So take a risk and flirt with him :)

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whats it mean when your boyfriend cums really fast or he cant keep it up?

He just isnt good at pacing himself during sex. Some guys really are minute men unfortunately. But he could also have Erectile Dysfunction, so he might want to go to the doctor to make sure he is working properly. If all is well, then you and him should go to a sex shop and buy some items to make him last longer in bed. Hope I helped.

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So I know this sounds weird but how do you give a blow job? ANd one more question to all the girls, does it feel weird when a guy eats you out? Because it would almost seem like it would feel uncomfortable.

Umm haha
Thanks.

Well giving a blow job is simple. To this kind of question I usually say to watch a porno. That way I dont have to get into detailed wording on the subject. And when it comes to getting eaten out... yes it is a bit uncomfortable. Most girls are very subconscience about that area and a guy going down there makes it worse. So usually the comfort level on that depends on the guy and how good he is. And to be straight honest, many guys have no clue what they are doing anyway. lol

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The boy I talk to only came over my house once and we only just talk on the phone. A few things that he do that I don't like is when he see me he just say hi or not and that would be it for the whole day until he calls me after school. But another thing is that all his friends call me his name when they see me and they know we talk and everybody in school know. But why is it that he don't act like he want to be around when all his friends stop and talk to me and always hang around me. Everynight when we talk he acts like he cares so much and like I never ask him to come over or to go out. I hate when it seems like he just want to hang out with his friends out of school, just ride dirt bikes and whatever else he be doing. When I asked him why he treat me this way he said, "That's because I really like you". I don't understand why he treats me this way like I'm not even there but just walking right by me. But I realized he will want to be around and want to talk to me when all his friends around. So what why do he act this way and what should I do?

Well this could mean one of two things. Either he is embarassed to show everyone he really likes you for fear of rejection by his peers, or he is just using you. Now usually this means he is just using you. This happened to a friend of mine. She loved this guy to death. He was a Senior at the time and she was a sophomore. He would totally not talk to her in school or around his friends, but after school he would hang out with her and talk with her non-stop. This continued for a month and then they ended up having sex. He later completely stopped talking to her and ignored her. She was so hurt and learned later that he was always talking bad about her to his friends, and his friends, who always acted nice to her, would talk bad about her too. So she got over him and moved on. And turns out a year later he tried to get her back, but she was already over him and had the strength to move on. In my opinion, kick him to the curb. If he really liked you he wouldnt be afraid to be seen talking to you in public with his friends and peers around. That shows he is secretive, manipulative, and up to something. And you dont deserve to be treated like that!

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When a guy and a girl are walking eachother, who's are goes on the other person's shoulders, and who's goes around the other one's waist?

Either works, but generally the guy puts his arm around the girls shoulders and she puts her arm around his waist. Or both can put their arms around each others waists. Most girls dont put their arms around a guys shoulders though

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okay my friend doesnt like a guy who is a player, and she say she doesnt like them and stuff but when she comes to her type of guys she wants a guy who is high standard and every girl wants him kinda like that and i dont get what she really saying what is she really saying?
sorry im from japan and my english is horrible.

She wants a guy that every girl wants. She seems to be attracted to guys that many would want and go after. I think she likes being able to be with a guy that many girls would love to be with because she likes the feeling of being envied by others. Plus it is a self-esteem boost for her to be with a guy every girl wants, because it makes her feel special since he is with her and not the other girls. But this type of guy tends to be a player. Many guys that are good looking, good with the ladies, and the basic model of the "perfect" guy are players because they know they look good and women want them, so they use that for their advantage and get lots of play with many ladies. So she wants a guy with all the attributes of a player, but not the attitude or cheating personality that a player generally has. This type of guy is almost inexistent, so she has high hopes for finding a guy like that. No girl should ever lower their standards, but she needs to come to a reality check. Her standards are naive and gullible. I hope I helped you understand a little more :)

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Hey, thanks for the advice. I tried talking to him about it, but when confronted he kept saying he never did any of those things. He called me and a left phone msg saying he could "assure" me he never did that, and he was "sorry for hurting" me.
He felt so certain of himself that he gave me his log-in key for the site (it's basically an all guys site where half the things they talk about ARE porn)and told me I wouldn't find anything there. He kept demeaning my opinion, saying I must of have read it wrong, etc. I told him this would be easier if he'd just fess up and stop feeding me crap because I know what I saw.
Lo and behold, I find the exact page and send it to him. Instead of apologizing, he gets ANGRY at me, saying I have no right to be mad about him viewing such materials, and that he was "sarcastic" when he made those sex remarks. He said he couldn't believe I'd think such things about him. But, it's right in front of me. Not to mention I found he was doing things like viewing pictures of Jenna Jameson, and 2 skinny chicks in G-strings on top of each other in sex positions (where he posted ours).
I love him but he's being a real ass. How can I show him that he's completely off base here?

Hun, This guy is treating you like shit and you deserve way better than that. His pride is getting in his way of being honest with you and remember the old saying, "Pride precedes a fall.." That phrase applies here and is totally true. His pride is causing your relationship to fail. His best bet is to admit that he has done something wrong and promise to never do it again. But his biggest problem is that he would rather lie his way to convince he wont do it, than admit he is wrong and wont do it again. Many guys are like this. My fiance is like this. He is always used to picking up the blame for everything, so his defense mechanismn when something goes wrong is to act like he never did anything and blame shift. The pride this guy has is really not pride in himself or self-assurance, but actually a self-esteem issue. He doesn't want to go out and say, "Look baby, I did do that and I was wrong. I didn't think it would hurt you and I am sorry." Those words would be something you would love to hear, but unfortunately I doubt he will be saying them.

Now it puzzles me that he actually gave you the log in. If he thought you wouldnt find it then that is why he gave you access, but you did find it, so that explains his angry response. He got nervous with your reaction and tried to cover it up. This caused him to over-react. But please remember that his way of apologizing is just forgeting it happened and moving on. But you seem to be an analyzer. You analyze a situation and try to understand why. I am like this as well. I want to understand why he did it and fix it, while he would rather say nothing and fix it by never doing it again. Those opposing views on how to solve a problem are hard to combine, because they are on complete opposite spectrums. But there is a way to solve this.

When you guys talk, who tends to get angry first? I am guessing he does right? Well when you talk to him, your tone and words can affect his reaction. Hopefully when you told him you found this and confronted him, that you were mature and calm (no matter how hard that would be to do.)But sometimes it doesnt matter how you say things. This situation could be one of those. What you need to do is tell him this:

"Baby, I love you with all my heart and I am sorry for bringing this up with you, but I want us to be able to be honest and talk to eachother. So please listen to me when I tell you this. I am bothered by the porn and by the fact that you got on this website. It makes me feel completely sickened because I feel like an object to you. I know you dont want to say you did that but I know you did, so please dont lie to me. Just promise me it wont happen again. I would bend over backwards for you, and I hope you would do the same. If you know that porn and discussing our personal life bother me, you should care enough to try and meet my wishes or atleast talk with me about it without getting angry."

Now if he does get angry, leave the room. This will let him know you are serious about talking, and it will give him time to think things through. Now if he isn't willing to change his ways (note: It might take him a while to change so give it time), then end things. It will be hard but like I said before, never EVER clean up his mess. Just be there to HELP him, not do it for him. He got himself in this, so he needs to be mature and fix it.

Now me and my fiance have had our issues with women and men. We are both very jealous and when he watches TV I get mad when I see him watching a show with girls flashing or acting like porn stars. He is the same way with guys. He knows it bugs me so when it comes on he changes the channel. Now would he watch it when I am not around? I dont know, but I wouldn't be surprised. He is a guy and guys love women. Truth of the matter. But the fact that he wouldn't look at that when I am there because he respects my wishes, or when we go to car shows, he won't go with his buddies and watch the women strip at the bikini contest and wet t-shirt contests helps add so much more trust to the relationship.

This may sound perfect to you, but we have been together for over 2 years. It took a LONG time for us to fix our differences and learn how to really talk to eachother without fighting and getting angry everytime we disagreed. Another thing I learned, when a guy looks at another girl, online or on TV, it is like a fantasy. Does he really want that girl? No, she is fake, an actress, and virtual thing on a screen. He can't access her or have her come over. But it still made me feel like it was cheating when he would look at those things. Just like I felt if he went to a strip club. It would make me feel dirty, because how do I know when he was getting intimate with me, if he was thinking of me or these other women? Exactly, I didn't. But sometimes it is better to not analyze every situation and detail.

Remember, he loves you and try to understand that. If he really wants you to be there for him he must sacrifice some of the things he does, porn watching is one of them. That is what true love is. Being willing to make choices to better your partners wants and needs. So if he isn't willing to change, decide whether he really is truly trying his best to make you happy. If you decide he isn't, than it is time to kick him to the curb. But not all guys are like this. Some will change. My relationship is a great example. So take your time and give him time to make an effort to change first. I hope I helped you hun. Note me back if you want and let me know what happens. Just remember to be patient for change takes time :)

Now my fiance had something to say as well so I hope you don't mind his insight either (being that he is a guy and his advice might help):

if he cares about you he wouldnt do this because if i did this to my fiance she would kill me and i would probebly be single so this is what you do. you tell him either to stop it or you are going to find someone who cares about you and will treat you right. that is how i feel about your situation. a guy should never make you feel horrible. he should want to make you happy and change his ways. i havent always been perfect but she stuck by me and gave me many chances i didnt deserve. if you think he is worth it than try and give him a chance. but if he doesnt change let him go because he didnt try to make you happy, and you should always be happy with who you love. hope i helped you too.

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my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 4 months now and i have decided it is about time i start to take more of an interest in his favorite hobby, cars. it would really make him happy.

the only issue is i know nothing! i tried to research it but the whole subject is so broad and i find it quite complicated to identify each car let alone know which ones are nicer. my boyfriend tries to explain everything to me but i rather make contributions of my own

is there any way i learn about cars a little bit quicker? like cars for dummies or anything?




by the way i already know that...
- a Hemmy is a type of powerful engine found in dodges
- chrystler and chevrolette are dealerships, not cars [i feel so dumb for not nowing that]
- they don't make camaros anymore [he has one, its his pride and joy, i would like to learn about these especially]
- nitrous is used to make cars go faster

Trust me hun I have been there. But I have learned way more then many guys from paying attention to everything he says. Now the Hemi is in many Dodge vehicles, the Charger, the Dodge 2500 pickup, and several other models. Chevorlet is again coming out with the Camaro but many critics are skeptical on how it will sell. They are trying to do what Ford did bringing the Mustang back into production with the new Mustang GT, which they specifically made to look like the older Mustangs from the 70's and 80's, but adding newer modifications to the exterior body of the car that still gives it the look of the newer cars out on the market. GM (General Motors- Chevorlet) is doing this same concept with the new Camaro. Using the older body style mixed with new mods in order to gain brownie points from all those old Camaro lovers and also the newer car lovers too. But again, critics are skeptical on how well they are going to sell on the market when they come out. I guess we will see. As for motors... Trust me, if I went into that I would be typing for HOURS on end! Here are some motors you will hear alot that are high end, badass motors made for nothing but speed. These motors are all motors produced in older models, some of which car companies have re-invented. Chevorlet made the Big Blocks and Small Blocks, Dodge made the Hemi (which they resurrected in their new vehicles to raise revenue, which they did successfully), and Ford has the 351 Cleveland. Now when it comes to newer motors it all depends on the make and model of the car so that would take far too much time to go into. Need anything else hun, then message my inbox.

~Sherah

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Is it true that most girls like sex and thinking about it as much as guys do, like they love doing sexual things as much as guys do so if you just ask them they will most likely say yes??

Almost every girl likes sex, but not many will express it to anyone. Sadly if a guy goes out and says he loves to fuck and then a girl says it, she will be labeled a nasty whore, while the guy is just thought of being just that... "a typical guy". I hate that steorotypical outlook on women, and because of that, many girls will not make it public about their sexual experiences. For example, if you ask a girl if she masturbates you will get a "No" almost from every single one. It doesn't mean every girl doesn't because that would be ludacris, but no girl is willing to admit to that because of how it makes them look. Hope my advice gave you some insight.

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Hi, You answered my question here on April 22nd that I posted. It was about my boyfriend of one year telling his friends that we had slept together. We discussed it, and he said he understood what he did was wrong. He agreed with me, and promised not to do that ever again, so we got back together. Things has been great, I even just cooked him dinner last night and he helped a bit!
But today I was on him computer clicking things when I found something he posted online. He was talking about having sex with me, and what positions he used. He also was giving out the address to a porn site, when he swore to me he'd only seen porn once and wouldn't look at it while in a relationship.
He posted the sex position stuff before we'd had our talk, but still. He told me there was no one else he would tell. My guy friends read his posts I know, and he knows. I left him a note telling him how hurtful he's being and that unless he can find someway to make this up, were through. I forgave him once for this already, and told him it would not be excused again. Plus, I keep finding these things behind his back, he just keeps lying to my face. I love him, but I don't know what to do.

Wow... Now that is very much unexcusable! Posting that kind of thing online is UNCALLED for. But do realize he did this before you guys had your talk. So try not to think too much into this.

Sex for some people is very taboo (it shouldn't be talked about or discussed except between the 2 partners), while others can openly talk about sex like it is an everyday thing like brushing your teeth and find no problem with it. When it comes to me, I am in the middle. I used to be extremely strict with my sex life and who knew about it, but I have lightened up through the years.

If I were you I would consider why he did it first, before deciding to break up. You love him alot, you guys are doing better, and then this! Telling people about the position is something NO ONE should get that much detail about. At all! I would never go online and talk about sexual positions I've done with my fiance. That is wrong, hands down. Now I am curious. What website did he post this on? Was it a sexual website specifically for that, or a chat forum, or Myspace? Depending on the website, that can help you determine whether he thought people you knew would see it. So look into this. If you really feel betrayed by this, then it is time to move on. But if you think this relationship can be salvaged, talk it through.

And definetly STOP the porn. He shouldn't need that if he has you. Every once in a while I am sure he is like any guy and gets horny, so he will look at it. But if this becomes a habitual thing, then he might have a problem, which maybe is the reason he is talking about your sex lives to other people. He obviously likes watching porn, which infact is staged and very public. So watching porn couldve triggered him talking about having sex with you. And don't be surprised if he asks if he can have sex with you on camera. He obviously fantasizes about publicly having sex and feels the need to talk about it and watch porn. And if he does want to make a film, DECLINE. You obviously cant trust him with talking about sex. So what do you think he would do with a video? Exactly. He might just post it all over the internet!

This is running into some major trust issues that will affect your emotional and sexual relationship with eachother alot. If you feel he is still worth it, then work through it. But if he isn't willing to change or you catch him again, end it. You should never feel like you need to clean up a mess he has created. He should clean up his mess and keep it clean. Just be there to help him, not do it for him. Hope I helped you hun. Tell me how it goes.

~Sherah

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16/f.

i liked this guy and he liked me. me n him go to the same school.
we both live "out of zone" for our school and should be going elsewhere.
well, he called me recently and told me that he didnt want a relationship with me because of lacrosse and his grades.
but come to find out, he lied to me and hes going out with one of my friends that goes to the school that we should be going to.

i really liked him and i spent my sweet 16 depressed over him. should i confront him about it? call him and tell him we need to talk? or should i just let it be, seeing as he's been ignoring me lately?

Just let it be hun. No one should be a pussy and lie to your face about that. So leave him alone. He obviously was into this girl and you at the same time and then chose her over you. But dont be depressed about it. You guys werent even dating, and there are plenty of guys out there. Trust me, ignore him back. Lets just say it is like a game of cat and mouse. When he ignores you, he actually expects you to call. When you dont, guess who calls you? He does. Now if he doesnt, it is obvious that he has made his final desicion with this girl. But if he does call, he still likes you and is probably trying to string the two of you girls along, because he cant make up his mind, which is so wrong. So forget the guy and move on. He is not worth your time. And by the time he realizes what he fucked up, you will be with some one way better. Hope I helped hun.

~Sherah

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is it absolutely necessary to give my boyfriend head before we can have sex? i just hate the whole idea of it and really would rather skip it.. we've done everything else, but does anyone have any experience with just skipping that? or do i just have to suck it up? (i feel like once i do it, then im required to do it again)

any opinions would be nice

Not doing it is not wrong, but it isnt such a big deal either. If I were you I would talk to him and tell him it makes you uncomfortable.


(But it never hurts to try. I always said I would never try it either, because just the thought disgusted me. But after trying it, I found it wasn't what I had pictured. So maybe give it a try, just once, and see. Just tell him it is just a try and if you don't like it you won't do it anymore, that way there is no pressure on you to try it again.)

Now I don't know which part of it makes you grossed out, but I was always thinking the taste. So if you want to try it once, make it a little kinky. Try edible things, chocolate syrup or an edible body creams made just for that. It will help set the mood, and make everything a whole lot more fun for the both of you. Now if you try this it will get messy so keep a washcloth and warm water in a bowl near you to clean him off. You can also use that and get his chest and back wet and give him a massage too. If you are worried about your skills when giving a bj, then the edible creams and the massage will help with that. Just the fact that you are getting so kinky and creative with all this will turn him on so much, Im pretty sure he won't be focusing on you giving him head, but rather what comes after that. So no worries :) Best of luck hun. Need anything else, message me back.

~Sherah

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I recently got very, very drunk and hooked up with my good friend's ex boyfriend. I am pretty sure he likes me as more than a friend and know he wants to go "further" with me. I'm seeing him twice this weekend, I'm going to be under the influence both of those times but am not sure what to do. I like him back, as a crush.

My friend got really angry when I hooked up with her ex (they only dated for a week), which I understand but I can't help how I feel for this guy. Should I just not see him, or should I do things behind my friends back? The answer seems obvious but it doesn't feel obvious because I recently got into a huge fight with that friend and I don't know what to do. Please help!

Considering she only dated him a week, it is obvious that they were not meant to be. But he is still her ex, so you cant blame her for being mad. Now another thing you need to consider... How long ago was it since your friend and this guy stopped dating? Has it been a week or two since they broke up? A month? That could be part of the reason she is angry, because she might not be over him yet. Also consider what caused the break. Did she break up with him? Was it mutual? Did he end it? Was cheating involved? This could also be a major factor in why she is angry. The last thing you need to consider is how long she knew this guy before they started dating. Were they good friends before? Did she talk to him a while before dating? Just because they only dated a week didn't mean they didn't have a inexclusive relationship before that. Answer these questions and put yourself in her shoes. Now if it wouldn't bug you if she did that to you, then I guess go for it. But remember, treat your friends like you should be treated. You don't want to be known as the "back-stabbing slut". And ending a friendship over hooking up with a guy is totally not worth it. So think about how well you even know this guy. You said you only like him as a crush, but you think he likes you more. So you seem to like him, but he has way more feelings than you do. So take time with this. If I were you, when you see him these next two times, tread carefully in what you do. I don't suggest hooking up again. Get to know him a little better. You might learn that you like him more than just a crush and that could definetly help you make your choice. Now if your friend finds out you are doing this behind her back, it only makes you look worse. So you should go out and tell her. Friends tell the truth, even if it hurts. Tell her that you really kind of like him, but you understand where she is coming from. Tell her that you don't want her to think you are doing something behind her back, but you and her both know that her and her ex are way over, and it isn't fair to put yours and her relationship in a battle over a guy she only dated 1 week. Hopefully she can think logically and realize you are right. Best of luck hun and if you need anything message my inbox.

~Sherah

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My bf is in a different town. 7 miles away. He wants me to take his car and come down and see him. I really need to. I haven't seen him for several weeks. And when he still lived here I saw him everyday. So it's very different. I just don't know how to ask my mom or do I just do it? I know I would be back the next day. So should I just go, or tell her the truth.

Well it is only seven miles! So driving shouldn't be a problem at all. Me and my bf live 15 miles away from eachother and I drive and see him everyday. It only takes me 10 to 15 minutes to drive to his house. So 7 miles would only take you 5 minutes or so. Now I think you need to weigh your options. Does your mom have a problem your bf? Does she have a problem with you spending the night? Does she have a problem with you driving? If alot of these answers are yes, then maybe you should try and sneak behind her back. BUT remember the consequences... If you get caught lying your mom might permantly never let you see him or talk to him again. Not worth it for one night of seeing him. So consider your options and the consequences and decide if it is worth it. Well I hope I helped hun. Remember: "Honesty is the best Policy"

~Sherah

PS:) Another thing... Why do you have his car? And why can't he drive and pick you up? (Just wondering)

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I am a freshmen female in a college in New York, and I have been in almost a year long relationship now. I found out tonight that over spring break, right after we had our biggest fight, he'd told some of his friends from home that he'd had sex with me. I thought he was a decent guy, and he agrees it's wrong to discuss that because it's personal.
I found out today and am furious, because these are people I know. He INTRODUCED me to these people after he told them. The only way I found out was catching him in a lie.
I feel completely demeaned and violated. I don't know what steps to take next.

I've been through this and trust me it is hard. I felt betrayed and violated too. He promised he wouldn't say anything and the very next day he told his friend right when I came over. It made me feel awkward and weird, because that is something you should keep private between the two of you. It is no one elses buisness. I talked to him about it.


I told him this: "What you did made me feel degraded because you told your friend something that was a big deal to me and meant something to me. And you just go and tell him something that intimate about me and I just met him too! How do you think that makes me feel? It made me feel like you were bragging about it like what we did was some sort of prize, not something special between you and me. That was immature and disrespectful. I can't trust anything you say now!"


After I told him that, of course he apologized. But I almost broke up with him. I listened as he explained and decided to make things work. A relationship is more than sex. So you decide whether or not what he did can be looked over. If you look it over make sure to make it clear that it better not happen again. Or you can dump him right away. But keep in mind, everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. Since me and my boyfriend (now fiance) had that talk over a year ago, when his friends try to pry into his sexual life, he is discreet and will just smile and not answer the question. It isnt like his friends don't know we are having sex, but the fact that he wont go into detail makes sex even better and more intimate. Your man needs a reality check! So give him one!


And try to look into his eyes too from his situation. I realized some guys don't make sex as such a big deal as girls do. He wasn't trying to boast or brag about it, but the subject came along and he was asked about it. Now he didn't go out and fully go into detail but he still told. Not to be disrespectful to me, but in a way he felt pressured to say so. That shows immaturity. But Thank God every guy can mature! Show him it hurt you and let him know and fully understand why. He probably didn't realize why it was such a big deal to keep a secret. After that, you decide what measures to take. Only you know whether this relationship is worth the mistake he made. Hope I helped and if you need any more help, message my inbox.


~Sherah

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17-f-australia


im getting charged with dui but got sent to the childrens court they sent me to do the drink drivers course and all that shit... but can the judge in the childrens court take my liscence off me because i heard that they dont have the authority to do it any help is really appreciated thanks

First of all, I think you need to be a little less selfish when it comes to this. If you were so drunk you couldn't walk (referring to your rating comment to the person below) then why did you think you could operate a car? You walking could do far less damage then you driving and hitting somebody. And you were scared you could get raped by a boy? (Referring again to your rating comment you gave to the person below.) You need to learn to drink responsibily and not get so fucked up that you were afraid you could pass out and be taken advantage of. If you were at that party, you should be there with people you trust and know would make sure nothing would happen to you. And if you were with friends you trust there, obviously they aren't that great of friends considering they let you get behind the wheel when you obviously should not have been driving.


Driving drunk is a serious crime, and what you are charged with you deserve. Obviously if you got caught, you were driving completely impaired and it showed by how you performed behind the wheel. What you are charged with is a HUGE deal. So don't make it seem so small and just worry about driving again. You should've thought about that before you hopped in your car and drove.


Now enough with the lecture I'm sure you have already heard a million times.


To answer you question, having a DUI on your drivers liscence can cause some major penalities that you can never fix, regardless which court you are in, child or adult. Luckily you are 17 and got put into child court, or you would have your liscence suspended and possibly even taken away. Getting a DUI will make your insurance go up and can affect getting a job, if it involves driving for a buisness. You can have your liscence taken away permantly... Not something anyone at your age would want. Now it is unlikely that they will be that severe if you just got pulled over and didnt do any damage to anyone's property or anyone else's vehicle. And I am assuming this is your first offense with a DUI. As long as you havent been in previous trouble with the law, especially if it involves alcohol, then that will likely give you a slap on the wrist. You might have to pay some fines but most likely your liscence will be suspended for 30 to 90 days (one to three months). Horrible? Yes it is, but remember that one to three months without your liscence is far better that if you had actually hit somebody and killed them. You would've been charged with Vehicular Manslaughter and a DUI. And no child court would be able to give you a slap on the wrist for that. If that had occured then you would have probably ended up being trialed in Adult court and sentenced to jail time. Not something you want on your record for a young 17 year old girl.


I've had a close friend die because she was hit head on by a drunk driver. He swerved in her lane and the impact killed her immediately. She was only 16. The driver was 19 and didn't even suffer injury. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison, and got two counts of vehicular manslaughter because my friend had been 4 months pregnant at the time. He has said a million times how sorry he was and how he wishes he had never drove that night and had stayed at his friends house. So don't make the mistake he made. Trust me it is not worth one night of partying. You are not invincible, so please don't act like you are. Be responsible when you drink and only party with those you trust. Take these warnings logically and don't get offended. It is for your own good to fully understand the consequences of your actions. Best of luck. (And rate me low if you want, I'm not on this site for ratings. I'm on here to help. And I hope I helped you.)


~Sherah

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My boyfriend & I have been going out for about five years now. We don't see each other a lot anymore because of us going to school & him working. I go to college around where he lives but I'm a commuter. While I'm at school or leaving school, he's at school too or he's at work. So on weekdays we never see each other. Friday & saturday nights are his nights with his friends. Sunday is always our day because he doesn't work sundays. It has always been this way. But today, or yesterday I guess, he didn't come to see me. Last sunday he didn't either. Both sundays he just stayed over his cousins house. I'm cool with his cousin & all the people that live in their house, they're all like family to me, but he was with them friday & saturday night too! And now I'm starting to be really pissed off because I always let him go & do his thing friday & saturday nights & there is no reason why he can't spend one day out of the week with me. If I approach him about it, hell act like an ass & we'll start arguing & really, I don't feel like arguing with his dumb ass because I already know what hell say. Probably something like, "I just wanted to chill with my buls" or "you always got something to bitch about" or something along those lines. Okay... so yeah, I'm hurt. It upsets me because I never ask him for shit. All I expect is when it hits sunday, he's spending it with me. I'm like lost with what to do right now. As soon as I tell him how I feel, there's gonna be an argument & I'm really trying to avoid that. When we argue, we argue hard. But Ilm trying hard not to be passive so what do you think I should do? Suck it up & just let it go or suck it up & argue it out with him?

By the way, I texted him earlier today. Me: don't you ever miss me?
Him: yes, I do be missing you.
Me: I don't feel like you do. I don't know. I just miss you & we don't get to see each other a lot.
Him: we'll be out of school soon.

That's all I've said to him about how I feel today. So him saying we will be outta school soon obviously means we will see each other more once the semester is over. But still.. He could have came to see me today & last sunday! Please let me know your thoughts & how I should go about this. I appreciate all answers, however, don't just say, "just tell him how you feel. End of story." Its not that easy to tell a guy who thinks he's always right how I feel.

Thanks a lot!

I have the same problem bringing up old shit so I totally understand. Now you need to have a serious talk with him. Not on the phone and not in a text. It needs to be in person. you guys have obviously been through alot. So talking in person may show him you are serious. Now about the argueing thing, Ive been there too. I felt like I couldnt open up and spill my feelings because no matter how nice or sincere I said it, he would flip out. So I would stay quiet. But in reality you are hurting yourself. When you talk to him say something like this: "I'm not bringing up old shit, but this is something I need to talk with you about. I'm not bitching or complaining, believe me I'm not. So please don't overreact. I don't want to fight. I want you to listen to me. Lately you have been hanging out with your cousin all the time. That I have no problem with, but it has been running into our days. The past two Sundays you have not hung out with me. I'm feeling really hurt because I miss not seeing you and you dont seem to feel the same way. I wish you would actually be able to tell you cousins that its our day to hang out. They are like family to me. I'm sure they would understand. I love you and I just want to talk about this. So please just talk to me and not get angry. Im not trying to start anything, but please explain to me why you haven't wanted to hang out with me these past two weeks." After saying something like that, if he starts to get angry, you need to get up and calmly say, "I'll talk to you about this later if you are going to be getting angry with me. Love you Bye"

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14/f
so i have a boyfriend. of 3 months. i love him. and we have said i love you for about 2 months before we started dating. and he ALWAYS wants me to change, and stop talking to my best friend brandon. and he got REALLY pissed off cause when i went away for spring break i hung out with his friend rick, but nothing happened between us. i gave him a hug good bye and thats it. but we never told my boyfriend about it. and found out and now he thinks im fucking around. and he says were on break. and hes like we can still kiss and hold hands durring school. and im like whats break?

what are the standards for a break?
what are the standards when your my age for break?
advice please?

Generally a "break" is meaning that he and you can see different people. It is just like a break-up except generally when you break-up you guys don't talk ever again and there isn't that possibility of getting back together. Now some guys have a break so they can be with other girls but still string you along and have you there if they decide they still want you. Trust me, a "break" is no fun. He has two choices. Be with you and trust you, or you guys officially "break-up". He can't border between the two. That is exactly what he is doing and it is not fair to you. So make him choose one or the other. Do you really want to get stuck being his "sort of" girlfriend while you watch him flirt all over other girls?

~Sherah

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so.. basically.

im 13. turning 14. and i have been thinking alot about sex, but i dont want to yet.
and i tend to like guys alot older then me.

so.. [3] queations.
1) How old were you?
2) Do you regret it?
3) Did it hurt?

1- I was 16
2- Yes... Then I thought I loved hima nd that we would "be together forever" but he was the first real bf I had, and looking back at it now, he was a complete dumbass and I wish I never had done that. So think about it long and hard, because you can never get that back
3- A little, but not bad

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