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He disclosed my sex-life... AGAIN.
Hi, You answered my question here on April 22nd that I posted. It was about my boyfriend of one year telling his friends that we had slept together. We discussed it, and he said he understood what he did was wrong. He agreed with me, and promised not to do that ever again, so we got back together. Things has been great, I even just cooked him dinner last night and he helped a bit!
But today I was on him computer clicking things when I found something he posted online. He was talking about having sex with me, and what positions he used. He also was giving out the address to a porn site, when he swore to me he'd only seen porn once and wouldn't look at it while in a relationship.
He posted the sex position stuff before we'd had our talk, but still. He told me there was no one else he would tell. My guy friends read his posts I know, and he knows. I left him a note telling him how hurtful he's being and that unless he can find someway to make this up, were through. I forgave him once for this already, and told him it would not be excused again. Plus, I keep finding these things behind his back, he just keeps lying to my face. I love him, but I don't know what to do.
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Wow... Now that is very much unexcusable! Posting that kind of thing online is UNCALLED for. But do realize he did this before you guys had your talk. So try not to think too much into this.
Sex for some people is very taboo (it shouldn't be talked about or discussed except between the 2 partners), while others can openly talk about sex like it is an everyday thing like brushing your teeth and find no problem with it. When it comes to me, I am in the middle. I used to be extremely strict with my sex life and who knew about it, but I have lightened up through the years.
If I were you I would consider why he did it first, before deciding to break up. You love him alot, you guys are doing better, and then this! Telling people about the position is something NO ONE should get that much detail about. At all! I would never go online and talk about sexual positions I've done with my fiance. That is wrong, hands down. Now I am curious. What website did he post this on? Was it a sexual website specifically for that, or a chat forum, or Myspace? Depending on the website, that can help you determine whether he thought people you knew would see it. So look into this. If you really feel betrayed by this, then it is time to move on. But if you think this relationship can be salvaged, talk it through.
And definetly STOP the porn. He shouldn't need that if he has you. Every once in a while I am sure he is like any guy and gets horny, so he will look at it. But if this becomes a habitual thing, then he might have a problem, which maybe is the reason he is talking about your sex lives to other people. He obviously likes watching porn, which infact is staged and very public. So watching porn couldve triggered him talking about having sex with you. And don't be surprised if he asks if he can have sex with you on camera. He obviously fantasizes about publicly having sex and feels the need to talk about it and watch porn. And if he does want to make a film, DECLINE. You obviously cant trust him with talking about sex. So what do you think he would do with a video? Exactly. He might just post it all over the internet!
This is running into some major trust issues that will affect your emotional and sexual relationship with eachother alot. If you feel he is still worth it, then work through it. But if he isn't willing to change or you catch him again, end it. You should never feel like you need to clean up a mess he has created. He should clean up his mess and keep it clean. Just be there to help him, not do it for him. Hope I helped you hun. Tell me how it goes.
~Sherah
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