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Stabbing a friend in the back
I recently got very, very drunk and hooked up with my good friend's ex boyfriend. I am pretty sure he likes me as more than a friend and know he wants to go "further" with me. I'm seeing him twice this weekend, I'm going to be under the influence both of those times but am not sure what to do. I like him back, as a crush.
My friend got really angry when I hooked up with her ex (they only dated for a week), which I understand but I can't help how I feel for this guy. Should I just not see him, or should I do things behind my friends back? The answer seems obvious but it doesn't feel obvious because I recently got into a huge fight with that friend and I don't know what to do. Please help!
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well if it was for only for a week then you should tell your friend it shouldnt be that big of a deal. and if your going to be drunk or whatever than you shouldnt see him because he is probably only taking advantage of you.
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Well in this situation you have to think.
Friends are like dimonds, forever. And this guy yeah hes the flavor of the week.
Its okay they only dated a week. I dont think your friend would have minded so much if you wernt drunk and slept with him.
SO the question is how well do you know this guy? Have you ever talked to him while not drinking? I mean for all you know hes gonig to be a total ass and just want to have sex with you.
Talk to your friend about whats going on in your head. Let her know your intrested and your crushing and still want to see him.
I think shell understand.
Then talk to this guy. Tell him no fooling you ant to go on dates. Have fun go see a movie, dont get drunk na dhave sex. See what hes really like. Bring some firneds along to to get a second oppinion. Just let your firned know about this plan to so its not so aquard.
I hope Ive helped.
and let me know what happens
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Considering she only dated him a week, it is obvious that they were not meant to be. But he is still her ex, so you cant blame her for being mad. Now another thing you need to consider... How long ago was it since your friend and this guy stopped dating? Has it been a week or two since they broke up? A month? That could be part of the reason she is angry, because she might not be over him yet. Also consider what caused the break. Did she break up with him? Was it mutual? Did he end it? Was cheating involved? This could also be a major factor in why she is angry. The last thing you need to consider is how long she knew this guy before they started dating. Were they good friends before? Did she talk to him a while before dating? Just because they only dated a week didn't mean they didn't have a inexclusive relationship before that. Answer these questions and put yourself in her shoes. Now if it wouldn't bug you if she did that to you, then I guess go for it. But remember, treat your friends like you should be treated. You don't want to be known as the "back-stabbing slut". And ending a friendship over hooking up with a guy is totally not worth it. So think about how well you even know this guy. You said you only like him as a crush, but you think he likes you more. So you seem to like him, but he has way more feelings than you do. So take time with this. If I were you, when you see him these next two times, tread carefully in what you do. I don't suggest hooking up again. Get to know him a little better. You might learn that you like him more than just a crush and that could definetly help you make your choice. Now if your friend finds out you are doing this behind her back, it only makes you look worse. So you should go out and tell her. Friends tell the truth, even if it hurts. Tell her that you really kind of like him, but you understand where she is coming from. Tell her that you don't want her to think you are doing something behind her back, but you and her both know that her and her ex are way over, and it isn't fair to put yours and her relationship in a battle over a guy she only dated 1 week. Hopefully she can think logically and realize you are right. Best of luck hun and if you need anything message my inbox.
~Sherah
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First things first! Talk to the guy when you aint drunk or high! Can't get into a normal relationship while blinded by intoxication, certainly shouldn't try a single 'further' thing with this one that is going to cause some agnst around you untill you two have a conversation sober.
Find out what the boy thinks and what he wants. Don't be coy (read: vague or playing 'hard to get', about it. You play those games, and he'll play games too, which means you can't trust what he says.)
Then tell your friend, gently and respectfully that you and her ex have feelings for eachother. Try not to fight, but don't ask her permission either. She doesn't need to grant permission, but she needs to know. Tell her if there is anything you can do to make this easier for her and help perserve the friendship you are willing to do it.
She's allowed to be a bit hurt and anrgy, it always hurts when an ex finds someone new, but she's not allowed to abuse you or hate you. That's just dumb.
Good Luck.
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They dated for a week. It's not like they were in a two-year relationship and she's emotionally destroyed by the breakup. Ask her why she's so upset by the idea of you dating her ex- was he a total jerk, or is she just overly jealous? If she's your good friend, she may be trying to save you from dating a loser.
Also, what was that fight over? Is it really worth losing a friend for a guy you may date for a week, too?
If you decide NOT to pursue this guy any further, it'll be in your best interest to not be so drunk when you see him twice this weekend. It'll be easier for you to get your feelings straight when you're THINKING straight.
best of luck.
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i wouldnt hook up with him or go behind your friends back any longer. if he doesnt like you back but wants to go further with you then hes just using you. i would try to talk calmly with your friend and tell her that you did'nt mean to hurt her. so maybe she can forgive you and put it behind her. maybe wait till it blows over for awhile and then ask her if she would be okay with being with him. cause then she would probably have time to get over him. and it obviously wasnt that serious if it was for only one week.
i hope that i helped.
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