|
help, im soo confussed. a break in a relationship.
14/f
so i have a boyfriend. of 3 months. i love him. and we have said i love you for about 2 months before we started dating. and he ALWAYS wants me to change, and stop talking to my best friend brandon. and he got REALLY pissed off cause when i went away for spring break i hung out with his friend rick, but nothing happened between us. i gave him a hug good bye and thats it. but we never told my boyfriend about it. and found out and now he thinks im fucking around. and he says were on break. and hes like we can still kiss and hold hands durring school. and im like whats break?
what are the standards for a break?
what are the standards when your my age for break?
advice please?
<3
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
okay, you have made two serious mistakes. the first one was not listening to him in the first place when he told you not to talk to those other guys. you may say hes just being paranoid, but he isn't. the fact that you still talk to brandon even thought your bf asked you not to PROVES that you value your friendship with him over your relationship with your boyfriend. the bf is only being paranoid if you actually would listen to him (therefore proving you value him over the other guy) get it? your second mistake was agreeing to go on break. "i want to go on break" means that the guy wants to see if he can land somebody better, and if not, he'll come back to you. dump him STAT. and i suggest going out with brandon or rick. that's what you really want isnt it?
]
I have to agree with katie_babey when it comes to trust. Without trust the relationship is doomed to fail - trust me I know this from personal experience.
As for the whole going on a break thing... I've always found the concept to be rather lame. It seems that for guys the idea of going on a break is simply that you are single from each other so you can do anything you want but you're still bound to each other after the 'break' so you can get back together. To be honest the only time I have ever known a guy to say he wants to go on a break is when he decides he's had enough and wants to go out and 'explore' without having the guilt of seeing other people (or cheating) because you were both 'on a break' at the time yet still have the security of having his gf to come back to afterwards. I find is a stupid concept.
To me a break is simply to take a rest from each other for a little while. Just to give both parties a little breather and time to themselves but still be in that relationship - so it's not a licence to go out and see other people, if you know what I mean?
I would say you can ask him what his definition of a break is (since everyone seems to have their own definition of it) but overall if he can't trust you then you may just be in a relationship that will not go anywhere because of his distrust for you. I also hate the idea that he would try and change you. He went out with you for who you are so he has no reason to start to change you and no one should let themselves be changed just for the pleasure of someone else.
It's a big world out there and you will very easily find someone else who may well be better and will treat you better. You seem trustworthy too and that's always one of the best quality to have. :]
]
Ok sweetie. Couple of things here. First off, to answer your question about breaks. A break is like a break-up except for one small difference, you still like the person you are with. The main thing that changes here, however, is that your both trying to move on and can date other people while still technically being with the person your on a break with. It's stupid really. It's basically taking you from "relationship" staus to "friends with benefits" status, if you wanna look at it that way. Thats what a break is. It's basically an "open" relationship.
Now, breaks are ok for certain circumstances, but, hunni, this honestly isnt one of them. This guy is a jerk! You are 14, YOU control your life, not him. If he already can't trust you, how on earth would this thing last in the big scheme of things? Ya know?
My advice is to break up with him completely. I have a feeling that most guys only want "breaks" when there are other girls they are interested in. He got mad about you hanging out with his friend, not because he dosen't trust you, but because he was looking for an excuse to get out and see other people. I know it gonna be hard and I know you think your "in love" with him, but... honey, you deserve so much better.
Your 14 and chances are, your gonna find the right guy someday. Hell, it took me 21 years! Hahah. But, it will happen and when it does, he wont be telling you who you can talk to and what you can do and what you can't. I did that for years in a past realtionship and all it did was ruin my frinedships cause my friends were all worried about me. You will find a guy who treats you like you PERFECT and like nothing else matters in their life but YOU. It's amazing! Move on sweetie! You can and WILL find MUCH better. There are better guys out there hunni. Your still young. Enjoy life... don't waste it on some jerk who controls you!
Welp, best of luck with this sweetie! Lemme know if you need anything!
<3 Loves, Heidi Marie
]
hi,
i think that you should just dump him i mean a whole relationship is all trust and if he cant trust you then things arent goin to work out between you too. You can try talkin tohim bout the whole trust thing and see if hes willing to trust you more and not be soo controlling. My friend had a controlling bf and things got wayy out of hand between them too. A break is usaully wen too ppl see wats its like to date other people and explore dating different people. Basically to see if you too really are right for each other if you are then you wont really date anyone else or watever. i would really talk to him and work on that whole trust thing and i think your tooo young to be even fucking around. so hes a idiot ok and if hes not willing to start trusting you and if he says he will and he deosnt then thats it i would dump him and find someone better that will trust you! you will go through too much pain if he doesnt trust you believe me! ok well i hope i helpedd you if you need anymore help write me in my inbox! ok good luck with everythin i wish teh best for you!
~katelyn~
]
What the hell? Break is when you can go out with other people but still like the person you're on break with. Uhm, screw the break idea and dump this guy immediately! If he can't trust you with other guys then he must not like you all that much. He's being a controlling freak and you don't need him. Just please dump him and save yourself the pain. A good boyfriend wouldn't care if you hung out with his friends. If you didn't cheat on him and he can't believe you, then he's not worth it.
Good luck
-Candace
]
Generally a "break" is meaning that he and you can see different people. It is just like a break-up except generally when you break-up you guys don't talk ever again and there isn't that possibility of getting back together. Now some guys have a break so they can be with other girls but still string you along and have you there if they decide they still want you. Trust me, a "break" is no fun. He has two choices. Be with you and trust you, or you guys officially "break-up". He can't border between the two. That is exactly what he is doing and it is not fair to you. So make him choose one or the other. Do you really want to get stuck being his "sort of" girlfriend while you watch him flirt all over other girls?
~Sherah
]
Break up with this loser. Who is he to dictate your life? If he's that insecure about your relationship, end it.
]
More Questions: |