Hi! I will answer any of your questions or problems, big or small and in complete confidence. I have had a lot of success in helping people in the past and hope I can help you too! Look forward to hearing from you soon!
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Member Since: December 8, 2004
Answers: 293
Last Update: June 12, 2005
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I know this is long but please don't skip it. Ok, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years and we've known each other for 4. I just had a baby by him. He's willing to help and he's been trying but the problem is my parents. They are extremely religious and they said that he could have nothing to do with the baby. I was 16 at the time I got pregnant and he was 20. I am now almost 18 and he's 23. My parents said that if he got involved at all with Christian, our son, then they would have him arrested for rape. They said that the only way he can get involved is if he comes and asks for "my hand in marriage" We're not in love though and it's not right to marry someone just because your parents want you to. We know that we made a mistake but we are trying to be responsible about it. But my parents are making it difficult. My father is always at work and my mom is sick now so things are tough around here. I wanted to call my bf and see if he could take christian until things got better or maybe we could work something out but my dad flipped out and said that if i did he would have him arrested. They also took my keys and I had to listen to a lecture about jesus to get them back. They said that they would rather put Christian up for adoption than have him go to his father. My question is can my bf get arrested for rape even though it was a while ago and I dont' want him to be? And also if they put him up for adoption wouldn't his father get rights to him anyways?
Please help me
*will rate high* (link)
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First of all, no your boyfriend can't get arrested for rape. He obviously didn't rape you and your parents are only saying this because they are trying to scare you. Even if they did try to have him arrested for rape, the police etc would never believe them because you are both still together and happy, you have a son together and you never said you were raped. Secondly, it is obvious that your parents are very religious and that what you are doing is against their beliefs. When you are 18 you are an adult and your parents do not have the right anymore to tell you what to do and what not to do. The more they interfere the more your relationship will suffer. I once gave advice to a girl in a similar situation as you are in. As soon as she was 18 she moved in with her baby, to a friends house. Before leaving she left a letter for her parents as she could not confront them face to face. She told them that just because they had their views, doesn't mean that she should follow in them too. This is the 21st century and it is not illegal to have a baby before you get married. By being like this she told them they were pushing her and the baby away and making her want to spend less time around them. She said she was staying with a friend until they realised that she is her own independant person and has a right to make her own decisions. By letting them know how you feel they will realise that you are not a child anymore. It takes a drastic thing like this for them to realise they can't control you anymore. What do you want? Do you want to move out? Do you want to move in with your boyfriend? Do you want to do as I recommended and stay with a friend for a couple of weeks? You have to think about what will make you happy and what will work out best for you, your baby and your boyfriend and not your parents. If you write the letter to your parents let them know that if you got married to your boyfriend you would be lying when you both took the vows because you wouldn't be meaning them. I hope I have helped a little and good luck x
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my period is coming up real soon, and every single one of my friends have told me that tampons work wonders. (by the way i have only had my period once before and im 13) but my mom thinks im not ready, and i feel ready, i have tried one of my mom's tampons, there regular, and i got it in like half way, and i asked her for the beginners teen easy slide ones, and she claims that i am to young to start it, and 2 of my best friends already started putting tampons in by there 3rd period. can someone one give me advice on if i am to young? or jus keep practicing with my moms? ill rate (link)
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At the end of the day it is up to you whether you feel you are ready yet or not. Just because your friends wear one doesn't mean you have to. Tampons are easier because it means you can do things like go swimming. You don't have to worry so much but at the end of the day it is up to you and how you feel. Your mum is only saying this because she was probably older when she started using them. Keep on practising if you want until you feel comfortable. Hope I have helped a little
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I was bitten by a bug (I'm not quite sure exactly what kind, although I think it was a tick) a couple of nights ago, and my mom thinks that it is infected, and so she wants to take me to the doctor tomorrow to see if it is or not. My question is...
1) How does the doctor tell if it is infected or not?
and
2) What will they do if it is?
I'm kinda worried about it.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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It is infected if it is sore, has become slightly enlarged and/or is becoming pussy and slightly yellow. the doctor will either give you some cream or antibiotics depending on how infectd he thinks it is.
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hi my mom has cancer, and i have told my friends but only reluctantly about it and this was a while ago. I only didnt want to tell them because i didnt want for them to feel sorry for me. i dont need that. I was so sad when she first told my family. I havent cried since excpet when she accidently made me read an article about cancer and it was all about bad stories and unhappy endings, not what i needed to hear. my parents havent ever tried to talk to me about it but i am not the kind of person to talk openly. I try to keep it off my mind and think about what i can do, and try to be helpful. what i can basically. but at a sleepover my friends talked to me about this and they sort of emplied that i wasnt as concerned and sad as i should be. do you think I am handling this well? what do you think i should do? please dont give me something like, just talk to your friends, thanks that'd be great! (link)
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Everybody reacts differently when they get news like that and your friends are wrong in what they have said to you. Obviously you are going through a really tough time at the moment and the best thing for you to do is be really strong for your mum. It's also a good thing for you to tell your best friends that you will really need their help to take your mind off things so you would really appreciate it if they could help in that way. Tell them that there is no specific way to react or be when your mum has cancer and that you are dealing with it in your own way. I'm sure they will understand when you tell them. There are free helplines you can call if you want to talk to someone on the phone - people who know a lot about cancer and can give you the support you need. I hope I have helped a little
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hi. I started getting cystitus a few years ago. i now get it all the time through dehydration-after a couple of glasses of wine or after sex. lots of things bring it on but it isn't like an infection it will last about two days and then go again. I am now wondering if that is what it is at all. i try to make sure i drink a lot of water. (link)
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It sounds to me that when you are getting over the cystitis it hasn't totally gone away before you start drinking and having sex again. Cranberry juice is widely known to be the best cure. If I were you I would try and stay off or just cut down on the amount of wine you are drinking and perhaps only limit yourself to having sex once a week until you are totally clear. Although the physical symptoms will have gone the virus will still be there for a little longer. By cutting down on the things which help make it worse, you will recover quicker.
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I have a friend who cant keep her mouth shut! She tells everything I say and I always try to remember tp tell her stuff but sometimes i am just itcing to tell someone. I really wanna be her friend but then again I dont NEED her! any suggestions? 5 points for anyone who helps! xoxo (link)
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I know it's difficult when you really want to tell someone something but worried that they will then go and blab. What's worse is that you , in the end will probably be the one named the blab!! It's so frustrating. If I were you I wouldn't tell her stuff that really matters. Sometimes if I really need to get something off my chest and there isn't anyone I can talk to I write it down - it actually really helps and saves you from worrying that what you have told someone might spread. Hope I have helped a little
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Well hey yall, The other night , well day actually Me and my 'boy' were just Hanging out, right? Well yes i am young, A minor ( too young for kids either way ) .. Well yeah we hadnt seen eachother in forever .. So yeah we hung out n stuff yeahh.. Then we ended up having..sex & I left blah well Later on, His father ( yess.. can you say Ahh? ) he walked in the room saying he smelt sex & Picked one of the.. four condoms up and realized it was broken, This was around 5-8 or so.. on a Tuesday night, so I'm gona get tested to be safe ( i guess, right thing to do right? ) on Tuesday.. night probably like 9. Well, Do yall think its better to have a plan what to do before I find out, and we need to make one ? Lately alls weve gotten at is, "Shit were gona be even more fucked" , Or should we just worry about it later? Also, He is going to be 18 next year, And I will still be a minor, I am NOT bragging at all I just want help, But we both have very wealthy families.. Not sure how this happened, with bright futures, and How to break it to them? His father knows ones broken though, Whats the best thing to do here? (link)
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It might be that the condom broke while you were having sex. In which case you can take the morning after pill up to 72 hours after having sex. Otherwise, get a test, but that might not betotally accurate at this stage. Go to your doctor and let them know what has happened. If you don't want to be pregnant the doctor can give you a pill to bring on your period. Don't worry about a thing. Just talk to your boyfriend about the options, talk to your doctor or another nurse if you want it to be more private. If you are pregnant you are in the very very early stages and this can be fixed immediately depending on what you want to do. Also, you don't have to tell your parents if you don't want to. Hope I have gelped a little
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I think that my daughter (14) has been using drugs. She hasn't had it easy and I haven't really helped that. A few of my old boyfriends hurt her and violated her. I've stopped dating because of it she doesn't deserve that and I don't want that to ever happen to her again. Recently I've been noticing that she's been coming home after 10 (her curfue is 9) and she acts differently. I've tried talking to her and she says that she isn't doing anything and that she just loses track of time. I don't know what to do. I'm not a great mother but I'm trying as hard as I can. Does anyone know how I could talk to her about this or how I can help her if she really needs it?
I will a rate high to anyone who at least tries thank you ahead of time. (link)
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I think the best thing for you to do is not to get angry as the angrier you get the more she will rebel against you. Perhaps make some time for you and her to go shopping, cook her favourite meal or go to the cinema together. Have you tried talking to her? She is probably going through the rebellious teenager phase so she probably won't want to talk. Does she know that you have stopped seeing guys just for her? If it helps perhaps try writing her a letter saying how much she means to you and that you are so sorry for what she has had to put up with. Let her know that you realise it might take a while for her to forgive you but that you are here for her and always will be as she is more important than any boyfriend you will ever have. Perhaps put in a token like a bracelet or a necklace. i hope i have helped a little
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I'm 25/f and i have a 5 week old baby boy. I've been on my own since I was 13. My parents were horrible so I ran away. Because of my parents I started to drink and use drugs. I stopped using a week before I found out I was pregnant. I've been clean for 9 months and 7 weeks. I got this little apartment and I've been working two jobs to support me and my baby. I have been trying soo hard and I love him more than life itself but I can't do it anymore. I'm not being fair to him. I barely have enough money for food. We live in a tiny little apartment. The heat doesn't work half the time and I just feel like I'm not being fair to him.
My question is does anyone know a way that I can make more money to take care of him? Or are adoption agencies good at taking care of babies and finding them GOOD homes where he will taken care of like he deserves to be? (link)
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I think you can get help. Over here in England you can get whats called benefits for single mothers like yourself. Its definitely worth checking out on the internet or at your local council or even the local doctors or hospital.
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My boyfriend's a rather sexual person, and I'm..getting there, haha. I've given him an orgasm and we've been trying to give me one. I'm kind of reluctant cos it hurts! Should it hurt? We are not having sex, fingering, but no intercourse. When he touches my clitoris it seems like pain, but also kind of good, but like tickling in which you try to move away. It hurts when he presses too hard of course, but then doesn't give that weird kick when it's not hard. The other day he was touching my clit and my leg started spazzing, but the clit hurt, but it felt like we should keep going, yet we stopped cos it hurt me kind of. We don't think I came. Wondering, what aren't we doing? And what does an orgasm feel like for a girl (or anyone)? (link)
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The main thing you have to do is to relax. It sounds like your boyfriend might be pressing too hard in which case, when it starts hurting ask him to slow down. Keep at it and you will be fine, sometimes it does take a long time.
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I'm almost 35 years old, and I've never had a sexual relation, therefore I'm a virgin.
However, I'm not sure if I might have already ruptured my hymen.
Because when I was 17, I was once exercizing (quite moderatly), and all of a sudden I felt something rupturing.
It didn't hurt AT ALL...
I just felt something going through my vagina...
I can't tell if I bled because of this, since I was in my period.
(But there was a piece of unknown matter to me on the sanitary towel...)
So, I would like to know if this might have corresponded to the rupture of the hymen, and if I might bleed if I ever have sex.
(Furthermore, I've been a victim of some serious calumnies in the past, and I would be glad if I could prove my virginity if I ever have sex with a man...)
Thank you very much for your reply. (link)
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Your hymen can break without you even knowing and sometimes you cant even tell. It can break just from going cycling or riding a horse. If you have ever used a tampon during your period then it will have broken. It is pretty likely, being 35, that is has broken. Proving your virginity with somebody-there is no physical way to tell if someone has lost their virginity or not, and when you decide to have sex let him know. I hope I have helped a little, let me know if there is anything else I can help you with
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i have a skin condition called vitiligo, which is when you have blotchy spots on your skin where there is no pigment. they cannot tan, so when summer comes and my body is tan, those spots remain white as can be. does anyone know of any lotions or creams that blend skin tones together..and that isnt terribly expensive? and does anyone know of any really good sunless tanner lotions/creams that aren't too expensive?Thanks a bunch everyone! (link)
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Some make up brands do an instant tan colour which is dark brown. It is immediate and washes off in the shower. You could use this to blend your two skin tones together. Foundation can help too. Everyone thinks its just for your face but its not. Get quite a dark foundation and start blending. Hope I have helped a little
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ok i have a bit of a problem.
I just got a hair cut about 3 weeks ago, and my hair is long probably at my boobs and i have all around layers. well I didn't get my layers re-cut because im trying to grow then out, but they are really split bad, other than hair cut what should I do ?!
I've tried pretty much every product, but I can't seem to find anything that works !! (link)
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In order to grow your hair long you have to get it cut in order to trim away the unhealthy aprt ie: the split ends. By doing this your hair will be able to continue growing healthily. You will only need a couple of centimetres off and then your hair will continue growing healthily. By leaving it to continue growing with the split ends will mean you get dry and straggly ends which will look dull and unhealthy. In between cuts, when I am washing my hair, I leave the conditioner in my hair, especially at the ends, for five minutes. this will intensly condition your hair and mean that it will take longer for you to get split ends which is good. Hope I have helped a little
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I am still In love with my ex-bf and my friend is going out with him, but i don't want to ruin them because then I will feel bad I am best friends with my ex his name is james. but my friend told me i make her feel werid when i am hanging out with him and all our friends which include her. How do i stop making her feel this way? (link)
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Why did you two split up? Does your friend know you feel this way? Perhaps she might think you still have feelings or that he might as there is some tension around you guys when you are all together. What you have to say to her is that you know that you and her boyfriend have a history but that you are not the kind of person to go behind someones back and cheat especially being your best friend. You have to tell her that you don't have feelings anymore for this guy even though you don't mean it. By telling your friend this she will become more relaxed and not mind you all being together again. It's natural for a friend to feel this way when they start going out with an ex of a friend so don't worry. As long as you talk to her things will get much easier. Hop I have helped a little
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ok well recently i starting 2 get really close 2 my friend(gal) and starting 2 fancy her she said she loves me but i cant bring myself 2 tell her (link)
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Is that because you are worried about what her reaction could be? Do you think she feels the same way at all? If you are worried about telling her straight out then by doing certain body language when you are around her can let her know without telling her outright. When you are talking keep eye contact with her for longer than normal. If you are in a big place together like school, a party etc, look at her from across the room and when she catches your eye, keep looking at her for a little longer before looking away. Do you two have any mutual friends that you could ask whether she feels the same way? You could aslo try little thigs like slight body contact when you are around her like putting your hand on the small of her back as you walk past her. By seeing her reactions to what you do will give you an indication of what she is feeling. Perhaps even asking her if there is anyone she is interested in at the moment and see what she saya. I hope I have been of some help - keep me updated if you want and I can try and give you more advice if anything else happens or if u try any of the things i have said.
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Ok this guy really likes me. He asked me out today. I didnt want to hurt his feelings by sayin no so I said I dont know. And he started crying. I felt soo bad. What should i do?? He's 15/m and im 13/f. Please help. I rate high. (link)
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He was obviously really hurt that you didn't say yes, but that's not your fault. Next time you see him see if you can go over and talk to him. He might not want to talk to you because his ego will have been damaged but if you can just tell him that you are so flattered that he asked you out especially as he is older etc but that you really don't want a boyfriend at the moment because you have loads of stuff going on at the moment. As soon as he knows that it's not just because you don't want to go out with him it will make you both feel better and not make it awkward around eachother. If he doesn't want to talk to you then get his email or write him a note. The sooner you tell him this the less you will have to worry. Hope I have helped a little
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13/f
Ok well when I started going out with my boyfriend (about 2 months ago), my mom told me that she didn't want me kissing him, but only hugging him and holding hands. She said that she didn't think that I was old enough to be in the type of relationship in which you kissed in. Well, I felt I was ready, and so when my boyfriend asked me on IM if he could kiss me the next day, I said it would be okay. Well, he kissed me (it was like a one second kiss on the lips), and I have kissed him about 7 or 8 times since then everyday at the end of school. I don't know what to tell my mom, because she will probably eventually find out about it. If I tell her, however, I'm afraid that she won't let me go to the movies, dances, etc. with him, because she won't trust us together. It just doesn't feel right not telling her. So what should I do?
(link)
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Your mum is saying this because she is protective over you and is just worried. It's fine for you to kiss your boyfriend. It's you and him in this relationship not you, him and your mum. What you should do though is be private about it and not kiss in front of everyone or anyone who would tell your mum. You don't have to tell her you have been kissing. As long as you are comfortable with kissing and are doing it because you want to and not to get at your mum then you have no worries. Hope I have helped a little
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Ok i have weird skin..It's really oil when it's hot or my skin feels "clogged" but then i have flakes in some places below my nose and near my eyebrows. I recently started changing the medication i've been using to see if it would get rid of my zits and help my skin. Here is my face-cleansing schedule: First, I wash my face with this heat phisoderm..and then I apply Vaseline (body moisterizer), then I apply Zapzyt...I haven't really noticed anything..Any advice to what I should do??
*I just started trying these new medications like 3 days ago.. (link)
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Don't use the Vaseline as it's for the body and not for your face. I had problem skin and I went to a beauty salon and just asked them to look at my face for free and ask them what I was doing wrong. I went and told them my daily regime and they told me what I was doing wrong and gave me free samples to try. Hope I have helped a little
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Female,16
The guy i like is really shy about girls, hes never had a gf before, and we are really good friends. ive liked him a long time, and i figured it was just time to tell him. I guess he really had no clue.. yesterday i talk to him alone after school, and said you know i like you and he was silent scuffing his feet and half smiling and he said THANK YOU.. tell me what is that suppose to mean? thank yOU!? and then he said wow this really caught me off guard i i.. and his friend walked by and siad lets go, i need a ride home, so hes said well i guess ill talk to you later and left...do you think maybe he jsut didnt know what to say, usually he'd say oh well lets jsut be friend or somthing like that but he said thank you, and its such a neutral comment... plus most people i know think he likes me.. so do you think maybe he was jsut caught off guard and didnt know what to say or what? (link)
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Well, you know he is shy already. If he was half smiling I think he was really glad you said that to him. If he didn't like what you were saying then he wouldn't have smiled. Over the next couple of days just act normally around him and don't say anything to him infront of his and your friends as that will get him shy again. Perhaps talk to him again soon when he is on his own and just say that you meant what you said the other day and you don't know how he feels but to let you know if he feels the same way. Don't wait for an answer, just say you'll catch him later and walk away. As long as you say this while talking as if you're making a passing comment then he won't get shy.As long as you are relaxed and not awkward around him the easier it will be for him to be more relaxed and less shy around you and therefore more open. I think he feels the same way but you have to give him time to be able to tell you. Hope I have helped a little
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ok so im dating this guy tom...we have only been dating for a few days now but he has met my parents and they love him...my entire family and even my brothers friends adore him... its so cute...well the day he met my family i also met his mother...well..she hates me...when i was around she seemed to like me just fine but tom called me like 2hrs after he left and he told me that his mom hates me and doesnt want him and i dating...like he said that he doesnt want us to break up because he realli likes me and stuff like that and of course i dont want us to break up either...i mean ive only met the woman once and shes messing up my relationship with her son already...i was realli polite and stuff when i met her and stuff and im realli not a bad person...im just a simple 16yr old girl...its like im sum whore or anything but she hates me...neither tom nor i kno why she hates me...what am i supposed to do?? (link)
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Ok, well if his mum doesn't want you around the house then it's best to do as she says. I would ask tom's brother to talk about you when he is around his mu and say stuuf like how nice you are etc and see how she reacts and tells him why she doesn't like you. Ask him to tell her, if she says she doesn't like you to him, that she has only met you once so how does she really know what you're like. Good luck
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